Chapter Ten
Carley hadn't even noticed I was gone. When I came home she was already asleep; I could have been lost all night and she wouldn't have had a clue. Getting back to the house and being alone brought back my sadness, and even my anger at the sarcastic Samuel, and the fact that I still somehow found him attractive, couldn't get me out of the funk.
After another terrible night's sleep, I realized an obvious fact: I had to know what was going on. Samuel and Holt clearly hated each other, and Holt didn't want to see me, and I was sure it had something to do with Samuel. It wasn't just about me, and it wasn't fair. It was particularly not fair because whatever was going on seemed to be my fault, but how could it be?
I wasn't sure how to approach it, so I decided to ask Carley for advice, and I went downstairs that morning all set to tell her everything. I couldn't wait to talk to her about the restaurant - Olivia and the flowers, and running into Samuel - and about Holt afterwards, but I didn't get a chance. Carley had news of her own.
In fact, Carley was so upset that my own revelations were pushed almost completely out of my mind.
When I came into the kitchen she was there, already dressed. She had made eggs, pancakes, and bacon.
"How long have you been up?" I asked, as Carley stood at the counter and furiously squeezed oranges for juice.
"That question implies I ever went to sleep," said Carley as she squeezed another orange. "I lay awake ALL night."
"What? What happened?" I asked. Up close I could see the bags under her eyes, and her hair with the slightly frizzy look that implied that it hadn't been washed.
I went to the cupboard and grabbed a bowl and a spoon, then went hunting through the cereal boxes for the Cheerios. When I turned back to my seat, instead of an empty place setting I found my plate stacked with everything Carley had been making. Plus, a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice, a glass of water, and a steaming mug of tea.
I raised my eyebrows at her.
"You think I've been slaving over this hot stove for nothing?" she asked, waving a spoon crazily in the air. "Eat."
"You should calm down," I said, sitting at the place she had set for me. "Maybe eat something."
"I'm not hungry," she replied tartly, turning away.
"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" I asked
"What makes you think anything is bothering me?" she said dangerously.
I started to eat, determined to wait her out.
"Is Nick going to come over and help us with all this?" I asked, indicating the food. Since I was busy eating I wasn't watching Carley at the counter, so I was startled when I heard a pot clatter to the floor.
"Nick who?" asked Carley, making a noise that sounded like teeth grinding.
"What?" I managed to say between bites of egg. I start to choke and stopped talking until I could get myself under control.
"What happened with you two?" I asked, my mind racing.
Suddenly, seeming to lose all energy, Carley collapsed into a chair. She threw her arms on the table and dropped her head into them, her mass of curls flinging out in every direction. She looked completely defeated.
She mumbled something, but I didn't catch it.
"What'd you say?" I asked, leaning forward.
"We had a fight," Carley wailed.
"About what?" I asked, thinking he had done something like try to kiss her. It was obvious to everyone in the world except Carley that Nick was in love with her.
She looked up at me completely red-faced and bit her lower lip.
"I'm not completely sure," she said in a very low voice.
"How can you NOT be sure?" I asked. "Surely you know what you fought about."
"I guess," she mumbled, picking at the food on her plate.
"Carley, what did you fight about?" I prompted. It couldn't have been that he'd tried to kiss her. She wouldn't be acting this way if that was it. Plus, he'd never do that without some sign that she wanted him to. He was just too polite, and Carley was too oblivious about his feelings to give him any sort of signal.
Carley took in a gusty breath and let it out with a long sigh. "We fought about Samuel and Holt."
That was a surprise. "What?" I couldn't imagine what the two of them had to fight about in relation to Samuel and Holt.
"I was complimenting them, you know, saying how lucky you were to have two gorgeous older guys fighting over you," she said, not looking at me. "He got really mad."
"They are not fighting over me," I muttered. I moved food around on my plate.
But Carley was too caught up in her own problems to care what I said. She just kept staring at the wall.
"Okay . . . so he's mad at you?" I asked.
"Well, yeah, but then . . . I mean, what would he be mad about? I'm allowed to talk about other guys to him. That's what friends do with each other. Plus, I knew you were seeing both of them, so it was on my mind. But he got so pissed!" She had talked progressively faster until she was basically stringing one word after another without taking a breath.
"You don't think he had a right to get mad?" I asked, needing to clarify exactly what Carley was saying.
"Well, no. Why should he? I guess I was just wrong about him being a good friend," said Carley, finally sitting straighter in her chair and looking at me. "A good friend would let me vent."
I wasn't so sure about that, but clearly Carley was missing what was right in front of her face. If the guy I had been in love with for years was always going on about how other girls were hot or gorgeous or how my friends were lucky to have them, I'd probably snap too. And it definitely seemed like Nick had liked Carley for years, maybe even more than he was conscious of himself. But Carley definitely didn't know. If she'd known how he felt she might not have said anything, but I still didn't feel like it was my place to tell her. It had to come from Nick.
"Why were you saying all that stuff about Holt and Samuel?" I asked. At the moment it was hard to hear Holt's name, let alone say it. I still didn't know what I'd done wrong. I just wanted to talk to him. I felt sure that if we just talked he'd see reason and hang out with me again. It was hard not to let those thoughts overwhelm me, even though I knew Carley needed me right now.
"Because they both buzz around you like they're magnetized to you," Carley said in despair. "Or at least they did until a week ago. Don't act like you didn't notice it. Nick probably likes you too, that's why he's always around. He told me outright he thought you were really nice. And seriously, if I'd known you'd be getting this much attention from guys I wouldn't have invited you here this summer."
"Very funny. Nick is crazy about YOU, not me. You're the one he always hangs out with."
"Not anymore," said Carley despondently, slouching lower. "I just can't believe he'd be so unreasonable."
Her phone buzzed and she glanced at it. "It's Nick's house" she exclaimed, but instantly deflated like a popped balloon. "I can't answer that."
"You have to talk to him sometime," I said as it continued to buzz.
"It doesn't have to be now," she said, folding her arms and glaring at the phone until it stopped buzzing.
After a breath Carley's house phone started ringing. She went and looked at the caller ID.
"That's weird," she said, squinting. "It's Nick's house number again. He never calls me on that."
"Maybe you should just answer," I said. "If you don't want to talk to him you can always hang up."
Carley rolled her eyes and picked up the phone.
"Oh, hi, Mrs. Farnsworth," she said, her face draining of color. She had expected it to be Nick, but it wasn't, it was Nick's mother. "Oh, no, I haven't seen him. Sorry." After a pause she said, "No, I haven't talked to him today. He went out late last night . . . and you haven't seen him since?"
Another pause while she listened, then she said, "No, he's not with me, but if I hear from him I'll let you know. Yeah, I'll go look for him too."
She slammed the receiver down and bounded out of the room, ye
lling to me over her shoulder, "Nick hasn't been home since last night. His mom's in a panic!"
"Carley," I called after her, forking one last piece of food into my mouth as I got up, "you don't know where he is and you don't have a car. What do you think you're going to do?"
"I'm going to look for him on foot. His parents are driving around," she called back. She was already in the living room. Since she'd be cold in just shorts and a tank top, she was throwing on a fleece (Maine mornings were cold) and trying to get her feet into boots at the same time. "Will you look for him too?" she asked, her eyes pleading.
"Of course, you want me to come with you?" I asked. A walk might clear my head.
"Actually, I was thinking you could take a car," she said as she checked her cell phone. "He hasn't called! He's probably dead in a ditch somewhere."
"I don't have a car," I said. "You know that, don't you? You aren't so out of it that you suddenly think a car magically has appeared for me to drive and I have a license to drive it?"
"Look, Autumn, Nick is missing and we need to find him. This is no time for jokes. Now, put aside your differences with Holt and call him and ask him to look with you. He has a car. Honestly, you'd think that you didn't care about Nick AT ALL." And with that she flung the door open and headed out.
I followed her, hurrying to keep up before she disappeared. "Carley, I can't just ask Holt to drive me around. Some stuff happened at the restaurant and I'm not sure I can call him," I said.
Carley gave me a sharp look. "Did you hook up?" she asked.
I shook my head no.
"Then it isn't important enough not to call him. Do it now," she said, and headed off the porch.
"Carley," I yelled after her, exasperated.