CHAPTER 7
They landed at the Cattleman’s Steakhouse, a kitschy restaurant in the historical district. The place was nearly empty when they were seated.
Shane ordered “The Heffer”, a 64-ounce cut of sirloin that was free if he finished it in an hour. When the waitress brought it, she also dropped off a digital clock that counted down from sixty minutes. It took Shane only ten minutes to plow through the first half of the steak, but with a good 30 ounces left to go, he started to look tired. Jade ate two helpings from the salad bar. Joey had a chicken breast.
Shane’s endless stories from wrestling’s past took up the first part of the evening. Joey and Jade patiently listened as Shane went from one year to another between bites of steak.
And then Jade took the conversation exactly where Joey didn’t want it to go.
“So Joey, what can you tell us about the tournament tomorrow night?”
Joey nodded as he swallowed a bite of baked potato.
“I don’t know what I’m allowed to tell you,” he said. “This whole thing’s so weird. Duke wants me to keep it secret from everyone who absolutely doesn’t need to know. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“It’s not that unusual,” said Shane. “Used to be the case that no one but the two in the ring knew who was going over and who was doing the job, and even they didn’t know sometimes until they got going and played the crowd a bit. I wouldn’t be surprised if we got back to that sort of thing, what with the Internet kids always lurking about and spreading gossip.”
“It’s put me in a tough spot,” said Joey. “The fact that I’m in the loop when so many veterans aren’t, it can’t be sitting well with some of the guys in the locker room.”
“Well I know one veteran wrestler who is safe to tell,” said Jade.
“Who?” said Joey.
Jade’s face creased into exaggerated disappointment. “Me, of course,” she said.
“Oh, sorry.” Joey shook his head and tried to laugh off his mistake. Jade wasn’t laughing with him, although he couldn’t tell if the anger on her face was real or playful. He knew a full confession would more than cover for his goof.
“How you comin’ on the Heffer big fella?” said a waitress as she cleared a nearby table.
“Still working,” said Shane. He smiled at her and cut off another piece of meat.
“You’re not going to try to finish that are you?” said Jade.
“Why not?” said Shane. “I’m not performing anymore. If I finish, I get my picture on the wall over there.” Shane pointed with his fork to the opposite wall, labeled “Hall of Fame.” The wall was covered with framed 3 x 5 pictures of cowboys who had apparently finished The Heffer. They all had a smug “Now-I’m-gonna-puke” look on their faces.
“It’ll clog your arteries Old Man. A heart attack will hurt more than a few knife-edge chops,” said Jade.
“Listen to Ms. Salad over here,” Shane said to Joey. “She wouldn’t even order a baked potato. I’m sorry to say Jade, that unlike you, I don’t have to keep up a million dollar figure, and couldn’t even if I tried. You keep eating your carrots and celery, I’ll keep eating my cow.”
Jade rolled her eyes then turned back to Joey.
“So let’s have it. Who’s going over?” she said.
Joey tilted his head back to drink the last of his water. When he put his glass down he noticed that he had Shane’s undivided attention for the first time since “The Heffer” had been put on the table.
“I’m going over,” said Joey.
There was a brief pause. Jade’s expression was guarded, as if she didn’t know if he was teasing or not. Joey took a breath and went on.
“I’m going over Lord Mayberry clean, then I’m going over Crusader clean, then I’m going over Jumbo clean.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” said Jade.
Joey nodded. The table was quiet again.
“So Branson and Crusader...” said Jade, more as a question than a statement.
“Branson and Crusader were both going to do the job early. I have no idea who’s going to replace Branson, but whoever it is, well, it’s my hope that with Branson out it won’t be so shocking when I win the tournament,” said Joey.
“So what happens next week, do you know?” said Jade.
Her unspoken question was, ‘You’re not winning the title are you?’ Joey was worried that Jade felt threatened by all this, which was the last thing he wanted.
“Next week I lose to Goliath, but, in Goliath’s words, he’ll have to cheat like hell to beat me. That will begin a three-week feud between us that will end on May 24th with me winning the World Title.”
Another second of silence at the table. Joey wondered if he was saying too much. After all, no one knew. What if he was mistaken? What if plans had changed? With Branson out, plans would have to change, at least a little.
“Well congratulations to you,” said Shane. That’s fantastic. You’re headed for super-stardom much faster than you ever thought, I bet.”
“Oh yeah. I never pictured myself as a 22-year-old GWA champion,” said Joey.
“Are you worried?” said Shane.
“Yes. I’m worried about how everyone backstage is going to react. I wish Duke would lay out next month’s booking for everyone like he did for me.”
“Don’t worry Joey. Everyone will know everything soon enough,” said Jade.
“You all aren’t going to tell anyone, are you?” said Joey.
“Relax, kid. We won’t let anyone know you leaked Duke’s secret plans,” said Jade. “Will we Old Man?”
“I make it a point not to engage in any backstage gossip,” said Shane with a confident smile. “That being said, Joey, we’ve got to know, where and when did Duke tell you all this, and who else was there?” Shane chuckled at his own nosiness.
“I know the answer to that,” said Jade. “It was in Lubbock, when Duke and Goliath met up with Joey before the show. They called him down from the stands where he was having a nice conversation with a sophisticated, older woman. A woman, I might add, who Duke and Goliath conveniently ignored.”
“Ah, so Goliath was there also,” said Shane. “That’s a good sign, Joey.”
“Why’s that a good sign?” Joey asked.
“Because these days Goliath is in on all the decisions regarding the upper card,” said Shane. “When you told me what was planned, it sounded like something was amiss, because it didn’t sound like something Goliath would agree to. After all, he’s going to give you quite the rub if the next month plays out like you say it will. It just isn’t like him to put over the hot new star, and I can tell you, no matter how bad Duke wants you to go over, if Goliath isn’t in on it, it ain’t happening.”
“That’s the most surprising thing about all of this,” said Jade. “You’re the first person Goliath will put over in a big way since he got here.”
“Well, they both were eager to tell me about the plan,” said Joey, thinking back to the meeting. Goliath didn’t seem at all hesitant to proceed.
“That’s good,” said Shane. “There’s something about you and the way the fans connect to you that even Goliath can’t deny.”
“I don’t know about that. This whole situation is as much a surprise to me as to anyone,” said Joey.
“Well, for whatever reason,” said Jade. “Your number’s been called. I guess keeping your head down isn’t much of an option anymore, now that we know you’re being pushed to the ceiling. I see some tough times ahead for you backstage, Joey Mayhem.”
“Ah, it doesn’t have to be that bad,” said Shane. “Listen Joey, Jade is right, some of the boys are going to be bitter about you getting the title belt, and you’ll need to watch out for that. If this business is about anything, it’s about politics. But there’s another side to this, an upside. You’re a player now. You’ve got Duke and Goliath’s ear. The guys will recognize that, the smart ones, anyway. You ha
ve to remain a player. Now that you’re in the circle, you need to make sure you don’t get knocked out.”
“What do you mean?” said Joey.
“I mean, don’t screw this up. By next week, your star will be one of the brightest in the wrestling world, everyone will be watching you. Your promos, your look, and your wrestling need to be flawless. If they are, people will quickly forget the shortcut you were given. But if you mess up now, well, there’s a whole pack of ravenous wolves on the Internet who feed on the mistakes of wrestling’s biggest stars.”
“Wow, that’s some pressure,” said Joey.
“Yes it is,” said Shane. “Yes it is,” he repeated, as if there was a story in his head.
Shane grabbed his glass of cola and raised it in the air. “Enough talk about backstage politics and Internet fans. I propose a toast to the next GWA World Champion, Joey Mayhem.”
“Here, here,” said Jade, raising her glass of water.
Joey picked up his own glass and clinked it with the others. If nothing else, these two were accepting of him as champion. That was a start.
Shane finished off his cola and looked down at a plate full of meat scraps. “I feel awful just leaving all this steak to be thrown out,” he said
“You could get a box,” said Joey.
“A box. Hm. I don’t remember the last time I asked for a doggie bag at a restaurant,” said Shane.
“Just leave it,” said Jade. “They won’t mind throwing it out now that you have to pay for it.”
“Maybe I could scarf down the rest of this, there’s still time,” said Shane, holding up the digital clock for Jade, as if his meal was a time bomb in an action movie.
“You’re gonna be sick if you do,” said Jade.
“I’m going to be sick either way. If I finish it, at least I won’t have to pay. Plus I’ll get my picture on the wall.”
“We know,” said Jade. “I’m going to ask for the check, and I’m going to have them charge us for that steak. It’s on me.”
“Oh no. You’re not paying for--”
“Waitress, could we get our check?” Jade called out. “He’s not gonna be able to finish the Heffer.”
The waitress strolled to the table and pulled the check out of her apron.
“I knew you weren’t going to finish that when you ordered it,” said the waitress. “Don’t sweat it. It’s on the house. But,” she turned to Joey, “I’m supposed to ask for your autograph.”
“My autograph?” said Joey.
“Yes. The manager says you’re a professional wrestler. His kid loves that shit. Autograph that check for me and the meal’s free.”
“Actually,” said Joey, “we’re all professional wrestlers.”
“Really? Would my kid know all of you?”
“Just sign the autograph, Joey,” said Jade. “You’re the big star now. Shane and I would only lessen the value if we put our names on the same paper.”
Joey shrugged, signed the check and handed it back to the waitress.
“Thank you much, you all have a good night,” she said.
“Thank you,” said Jade. “And thank you for dinner Joey. We should go out with this guy more often, huh Shane?” said Jade.
“You betcha. Good conversation, insider gossip, picks up the tab – you’re quite the dinner companion Joey.”
Joey couldn’t tell if they were being sarcastic. He considered asking, but decided he’d had enough serious conversation for one night.
“You’re welcome,” he said, and left it at that.