Read One Foot in the Grave Page 23


  “You just did. He’s listening, I can feel it.”

  Was he? Nosy prick. He knew I didn’t like Annette. She wasn’t the only one being spiteful. Another thought registered. “You knew last night, didn’t you?”

  Bones inclined his head in acknowledgment. “You can forget asking me why I didn’t tell you. Not for worlds would I have interrupted us, and if he chose to stay, that was his prerogative. Never fear—I forgot about him at once, because you demanded all my attention.”

  As I lathered my hair, I decided I wasn’t upset at Bones. After all, it was pretty damn difficult to even shower and not throw him back on the bed. My modesty might still be outraged, but the rest of me wasn’t.

  Bones inhaled, his eyes glinting as he caught my scent. “I’m going downstairs. I can’t be so close to you without wanting you, and there’s no time.”

  He left in a swish of motion, making me smile as I resumed washing.

  Four heads swiveled in my direction when I came down. The kitchen table was full. Since most of the chairs were broken from yesterday, we were short a seat. Bones pulled me onto his lap without pausing in his conversation with Rodney, tapping the plate of food in front of him.

  “Eat something. Can’t have you getting faint because you keep skipping meals.”

  “I’m amazed she can even walk,” Tate griped without looking up. “You must have given her a gallon of blood after what I heard last night.”

  “Is that any concern of yours?” Bones coolly inquired, tightening his grip when I would have risen to smack Tate. “At work you have your seniority, Kitten, but he’s on personal ground now, so those rules don’t apply.”

  “I’d keep a lid on it if I were you, Tate,” I warned. “Nice to see you walking without a limp, too, or are you? You’re seated so I can’t tell.”

  Tate didn’t back down. “You’re the one who said once you go dead, no one’s better in bed. Thought I’d see if you were right.”

  Rodney laughed. “You said that, Cat?”

  Bones gave me a sideways smirk. “Happy to represent my kind,” he assured me.

  I glared at Tate, but then my mouth twitched. His did, too, and he grunted once in bemusement. “Christ, Cat, can you imagine Dave looking down on us now? He probably doesn’t believe his eyes. Breakfast with a table of vampires.”

  Tears clouded my eyes at the mention of Dave. Tate glanced away in embarrassment at the sudden moisture in his own gaze.

  “Wish we would have had you with us that day, deadhead,” Tate said gruffly to Bones. “At least you could have probably saved him with that turbo blood of yours. Cat couldn’t get enough in him, even when she squeezed the other vamp like a sponge. If you can keep that from happening again, maybe it’s worth having you on the team. Even though I can’t stand you.”

  Instead of being offended, Bones tapped his chin thoughtfully. He exchanged a glance with Rodney, and then turned me around more fully in his lap.

  “Kitten, you didn’t tell me you poured vampire blood on your friend as he died. Did he swallow any of it?”

  “Juan made him swallow a little, but God, Bones, Dave had been missing almost half his throat. He bled to death before it could heal all the way.”

  “Tricky,” Rodney stated.

  I shot him a look. “A lot more than tricky. He was a friend.”

  The ghoul started to open his mouth when Bones cut him off.

  “Not now, mate. Kitten, the timetable’s been moved up. While you were sleeping, Ian called me and said he’d gotten information on your location. We knew it was only a matter of time, though I would have preferred another week or two to get everything in place. No matter, the die is cast. I told Ian I’d found you myself just last night, and that I’d have hostages for him later today. Ian was overjoyed, and he’s assembling a welcoming party. Bloody bloke always did like things flashy.”

  I stiffened. “Okay, well, then we do this tonight. I’ll tell Don, we’ll get the rest of the guys assembled, and…we’ll settle things.”

  “Actually, luv, there are a few problems. Ian wasn’t satisfied when I told him I had three of your men as collateral. He wants more, and he’s dispatched someone to get it.”

  A chill ran up my spine. “What’s more?”

  “Noah,” Tate bluntly supplied. “And that’s not even the punch line.”

  “Do you mind?” Bones glared at Tate before continuing. “Your rash bloke is correct, Kitten, and that’s the second problem. Ian figures he’ll kill one of your men in front of you, both as incentive for you to heed his demands, and as payback for you slaying his butler Magnus. Ian intends to save Noah for the coup de grâce, however, because whoever gave him information about you didn’t know you’d broken up with Noah. Furthermore, he sent your father, Max, to get Noah, since apparently Max offered to do it.”

  I shoved the plate away and vaulted off his lap. “Don’s watching Noah’s place, right? We’ll catch Max, that piece of shit, and I’ll kill him. It’ll make my whole existence.”

  Bones shook his head. “We can’t, luv. If we do that, Ian will know we’re playing him false. How else would you have a team of vampire killers there at the ready? We’ll lose our advantage of surprise, and I’m not endangering you that way. Why do you think Max offered to go? He’s probably intending to set Noah up as his own blackmail and then kill you on sight! Ian doesn’t know that, but we do. Don’t fret; I’m sending Rodney to ensure Noah’s safety. He’ll grab him first and beat Max to it. Ian’s not going to kill Noah—he thinks he’s too valuable. Max, on the other hand, would do just that to enrage you into coming after him.”

  “You go,” I said at once. “Rodney, it’s nothing against you, but if something goes wrong…if Max shows up sooner than you expect, I want someone there who’ll scare my father into not pulling any tricks. That’s you, Bones. You’re not just an old vampire with a badass hit man reputation, you’re higher up in Ian’s line and Max knows it. He wouldn’t dare try shit with you around, and without you, I have visions of Noah’s tombstone dancing in my head.”

  “No,” Bones said inflexibly. “I’m going to be with you, helping to capture Ian’s guards. Annette can accompany Rodney to get Noah, if you’re concerned about Max.”

  “Please,” I scoffed. “Like Annette would care if things went wrong with Noah. It would hardly break her heart if Noah died, or yours, for that matter, but it means something to me!”

  It was a low thing to say, but still true. Bones lifted a shoulder in admission.

  “Left to myself, I couldn’t give a rot if Noah dies. I won’t deny that. But you’d suffer for it, and that I do bother about.”

  “I’ll take Annette.” The words flew out without much forethought. “She can come with me as backup to help with Ian’s guards, then you can be with Rodney to get Noah.”

  Bones gave me a look like I’d gone crazy, which wasn’t a far trip for me. “You think I’d let you attack a group of vampires—a group you’re not even intending to kill, which as we all know makes it bloody harder—while I’m off securing your pet vet?”

  His scathing delivery on those last two words made me even more determined to ensure Noah’s protection. Rodney would know Bones wouldn’t really be upset if anything happened to Noah. Annette would know it, too. But if Bones went himself…then he’d feel honor-bound to make sure Noah was kept safe. No matter how much he didn’t like him.

  “Actually, it would work better this way,” I said, improvising. “We can assume two things: one, the guards won’t know who I am at first, thanks to my brown hair, and two, once they do realize who I am, they’ll try not to kill me. Ian would be pissed at being denied his prize, right? They’d know that. I’m safer with them than anyone else.”

  “It may indeed work better, Crispin,” Annette offered. “They’d be less likely to suspect an ambush if they thought we were there for their…entertainment.”

  Bones didn’t respond for a long moment, then he turned to Annette and smiled coldly at her.


  “After yesterday, I have cause to wonder if you’re offering with ulterior motives, so let me tell you what will happen if any harm comes to her. I’ll cut you off from my line.” Bones took a knife out of his pocket and sliced it across his palm, his eyes never leaving Annette’s. “On my blood, I swear I’ll cut you off. And then I’ll offer a standing reward to anyone who makes your life an unbearable hell, do you understand me?”

  Annette actually gulped. I couldn’t help but wince in empathy for her. What Bones had just promised her was worse than a death sentence. Annette would be open game for anyone undead and uncaring, and she wasn’t strong enough to protect herself. Throw in some cash prizes to any interested Dead Depraved, and she’d be truly screwed.

  Bones arched a brow at me. “Now you can have Annette accompany you, and I’ll go after Noah.”

  Poor Noah. The only reason he was involved in this to begin with was that he’d had the misfortune to date me. In fact, out of everyone, I was the only truly safe one in this whole messed-up scenario. Annette would protect me with her whole afterlife now, and Ian’s men would probably risk getting killed themselves rather than hurt their sire’s coveted new toy. That left Bones at risk trying to keep Noah safe, not to mention if Annette and I couldn’t beat Ian’s men, my three guys were in the most danger of all. Ian had said he’d kill one of them, for revenge and to prove a point. Tonight would decide everything, and suddenly I couldn’t bear to just gamble that we’d be all strong enough or smart enough to pull it off. What if we weren’t? Why should any of them have to risk dying to save me? After all, there was another way out. It only required my sacrifice, and I made the decision in a split second.

  “Bones.” I came over and grasped his hand. “None of this has to happen at all. Ian only wants me because being a half-breed makes me rare, but if I’m a full-blown vampire, then I’m nothing special. So do it. Change me over. Make me a vampire.”

  The howl of protest I expected from Tate, but the most emphatic refusal came much softer.

  “No.”

  I blinked in surprised anger. “Come on, dammit, do it! Or was Annette right? Does my body temperature mean that much to you?”

  Cheap shot number two. Bones tightened his grip when I tried to tug free.

  “You’re not leaping before you look on this one. Balls before brains won’t do it.” His refusal finally penetrated the rampage by Tate, who shut up and stared at Bones with disbelief. “You don’t want this, luv,” Bones continued. “You think you have no choice, but I’ve told you time and again, there is always another way. If you truly desired me to change you, then I would. You know that. But not like this. There’s no going back from this decision, and then even the most poignant regret is wasted.”

  He pulled me to him, and his next words fell softly near my ear.

  “And if I were really just so fond of your flesh being warm, I’d throw you in a hot tub each time before I shagged you. You’d be ninety-eight degrees in twenty minutes, vampire or no, so sod Annette and her nasty little comments.”

  “Something could happen to you with Max,” I muttered.

  Bones let out a snort. “Not a chance. You’re right—Max is too much of a coward to take me on, and if he did, I’d bend him in half the wrong way and deliver him to you in a box.”

  “That leaves my guys. If Annette and I fail, I can’t just stand there and watch Ian kill one of them.”

  Bones sat back, but still didn’t let go of my hand.

  “There’s another way around that as well, if it comes to it. Once I’m free of Ian’s line, then I’m free to take my people—and my possessions—with me. You don’t like it, but the fact remains that in vampire culture, you’re considered mine by right of blood and bed. I’ll claim your men as mine, too. Ian couldn’t kill them then, not without risking war with me.”

  “But you haven’t fed from or fucked any of them!” I burst. “And unless things are going to get downright freaky, that isn’t going to change!”

  “I for one would rather die,” Tate muttered.

  “You’re already covered, you sod,” Bones said curtly. “Annette is under my line, so when she shagged you, that gave her the ability to call you hers. Which then makes you mine by default, though I won’t be proud to say it.”

  “What?” Tate asked, incensed. “I’m not some fang boy toy!”

  Annette chuckled throatily. “But according to vampire laws, darling, you’re my fang boy toy if I say so.”

  “You should’ve read the fine print before hopping into bed with her, Tate,” I said pitilessly. “You’ll be lucky if I don’t pay you back for what you did to me, and tattle to Don about it. Still, right now we’ve got bigger issues. Okay, Bones, if you or Annette bite Cooper and Juan, we’re covered if things go south with Ian?”

  “Yes,” he said, ignoring Tate’s glare.

  That worked for me. I didn’t want to announce myself as property to a room full of vamps, but if it was that or watch one of my men die…fuck my pride. Theirs, too. Life was more important than bruised egos.

  “All right,” I said, standing. “We’ll go to the compound so one of you can bite Juan and Cooper, then Annette and I will take the guys to play bait and switch with Ian’s men, you and Rodney will get Noah…when are we all supposed to meet up later with Ian?”

  “’Round midnight, Kitten, which gives you time, because between capturing Ian’s blokes and going to see Ian, you need to go to a spa.”

  “A spa?” I repeated, like I’d never heard the word before. “Why on earth would I do that?”

  “Because you need at least an hour in a steam room to sweat my scent from your pores,” Bones replied calmly. “If you go to Ian as you are now, he’ll know from one sniff that we’ve double-crossed him, and then we may as well just start the mayhem. Don’t fret, everything’s been arranged.”

  “A spa,” I repeated again, shaking my head. That would have made my top ten of things I did not count on doing today, but looks like I had a date with a steam room. And Ian’s men. And Ian. And my father.

  Tonight was going to be a busy night, no doubt about that.

  THIRTY-FOUR

  TATE, JUAN, AND COOPER WERE IN THE BACK of the van, handcuffed, with duct tape over their mouths and three unused rolls of it near their feet. This van wasn’t the luxury kind with the DVD player, surround sound, or heated seats, either. There weren’t any seats in the back, actually, and aside from the metal grille separating the two front seats from the rest of the vehicle cabin, the interior was as stripped as could be. Rodney had supplied the van, and from the looks of it, my guys weren’t the only people who’d ever been restrained in the back of it.

  Annette drove. I didn’t complain about that, since it made sense, appearance-wise. Bones had told Ian he was sending Annette to deliver the hostages to his men, and Ian would have relayed that. I was supposed to be the bisexual fang groupie who was Annette’s date for later. The really horny bisexual fang groupie, since I was also supposed to suggest to the guards that they blow off a little steam with us. Neither Annette nor Bones thought they’d be hard to convince, since what danger would leaving three trussed-up humans alone for a bit pose to a group of vampires? None that they were aware of, which was the point.

  “We’re almost there,” Annette said, her first words this whole trip. The hour-long silence had suited me just fine. Chatting with Annette wasn’t high on my list of priorities.

  A new waft of scent from the back coincided with an increase in my guy’s pulses. The news that we were almost there was kicking their adrenaline into gear. Since we hadn’t had more time for them to practice with Belinda, I didn’t expect them to be able to pin Ian’s men long enough for Annette and me to secure them. But we were hoping Tate, Juan, and Cooper would prove to be enough of a distraction to make it easier on Annette and me. And for them not to get killed in the process, of course.

  I inhaled again. It was such a unique thing to be able to discern emotions by scent. I’d inherited
a lot from my undead father, but a heightened sense of smell hadn’t been one of those upgraded senses. Maybe when I saw him tonight, I’d thank him for my other abilities. Right before I killed him.

  Then I took another deep breath and frowned. Bones’s scent still clung to me, of course, even after my shower this morning. Hence his whole spa idea later, but that wouldn’t do me any good now, ten minutes away from facing Ian’s men.

  “I still smell like Bones,” I said to Annette. “Won’t smelling him on me cause suspicion when we play our little act with Ian’s guards?”

  Annette’s mouth curled. “They think you’re just another pretty girl, not the Red Reaper Ian’s after, so it would make perfect sense that you’d smell like Crispin. The two of us supposedly just came from picking up prisoners from him, remember? Crispin does have a reputation. In fact, you really should smell more like me as well, for things to be truly believable.”

  My teeth ground, which only made Annette’s smirk broaden. “When hell freezes,” I said evenly.

  She clucked her tongue. “Pity.” And she gave me a slow once-over that reminded me loud and clear that Annette found women just as enticing as men. Guess since she hadn’t succeeded at pulling me away from Bones, she thought she’d try a “can’t beat ’em, join ’em” approach.

  I drummed my nails on the van door, biting back the urge to groan, “Are we there yet?” Fighting vampires held a much stronger appeal than getting hit on by Bones’s former main squeeze. Especially since she only wanted to get me in bed so that Bones could join us.

  About five minutes later, Annette pulled into the parking lot for a strip of warehouses. I glanced around. It was after six in the evening on a Friday, so most of the working world had left, assuming any of these warehouses were owned by the average company with average employees. Annette pulled out her cell and dialed.

  “Open the bay door,” she said by way of greeting.

  “We’re here.”