“You’d think it would be, but it’s not. When you’re over the shock of it, you’re able to see his sacrifice for the beautiful thing it is––his choice to suffer in your place.”
Ellison looks at Sin. “You got him. I’d probably get some old fart in a kilt.”
“First of all, your consent would be necessary for Sin to make any kind of match on your behalf. Secondly, there are some seriously hot Scotties in The Fellowship.”
I look at Sin and shrug. “Sorry, but it’s true.”
Ellison sighs. “Jamie is so beautiful. I go completely stupid whenever I try to talk to him.”
“And he’s a great guy. I’ve come to love him dearly.” I wouldn’t mind seeing my sister with him at all.
“You don’t view being in this world as a sacrifice, but to me it is. It would be a huge concession on my part. I’d be leaving my whole life behind. I need time to think about this.”
I’m asking Ellison to change her entire existence. I don’t take that lightly and neither should she. “Of course. Take all the time you need. No pressure. Sin and I are both here if you have any questions.”
“We’ve been in here a long time. We should probably check on Leith.” Sin’s right. Time has gotten away from me. “And Lorna too.”
I poke my head into the office but no Lorna. We go to the guest room where Leith is but the door is shut. I’m not sure what’s happening on the other side but my gut tells me to walk away.
We go into the living room and find Jamie. “Is Lorna all right?”
“She’s fine. She’s in with Leith now.”
Oh. That sounds promising. My husband’s plan must have worked.
Ellison goes to the coat rack and puts on her wool peacoat. “I’m going to take a walk. I have a lot to think about.”
Oh dear. I don’t want to tell her it isn’t safe, but I have to. “I’m sorry, Elli. You can’t go out alone.”
“I’ll walk with you, if you don’t mind my company,” Jamie says.
“I’d like that.” Ellison looks at me for approval. “Is that all right?”
I trust Jamie to protect my sister. “Absolutely.”
“Call if there are any changes with Leith. We won’t go far.”
I’m dying to know what Leith said when Sin told him about Lorna. “The guest room door is shut. I take that as a sign things went well with Leith.”
“Oh, Bonny. It didn’t go well at all. The whole thing went sideways.”
I recount the events of the night for Bleu.
“Oh no.” She must be completely heartbroken.
“I’ve never wanted to hurt him so badly in all my life.”
“I want to hurt him now.” Had I known this an hour ago, I’m not sure I would have allowed him in my home to be treated. I might have told Sin to leave him on the sidewalk.
Sin and I go silent when we hear Leith’s voice carry down the hall. “Please don’t go!”
No reply.
Lorna comes into the living room. “I’m sorry to trouble you but I need a ride. Would you mind asking Sterling to take me home?”
“Of course. It’s no problem at all, but you’re welcome to stay as long as you like.”
She’s covered in Leith’s blood. “Let me get you a change of clothes,” I say.
She puts her hand up. “No. I really just want to get out of here now that I know he’s going to be fine.”
I feel like I should say something about Leith’s reaction. “Sin told me what happened. I’m sorry.”
This isn’t my friend I’m used to seeing. This person is shrinking into herself, her posture telling the story of how she feels. “I’ve never been so hurt or humiliated in my life.”
I want Sin to say something to make her feel better so I nudge him with my foot.
“I know he acted a fool but he loves you. He told me so after you left.”
“Not possible. A man would never say things like that about the woman he loves.”
I don’t have an argument for that and I’m certain Sin doesn’t, either.
Leith appears in the entrance to the living room. He’s shirtless with a large white dressing over his upper left shoulder. There’s a small amount of blood seeping through. “Thank God I caught you before you left.”
“I’m on my way out the door right now.”
He moves closer to her, holding the wall for support. “Don’t go. We’re not finished talking.”
“I’m done.”
“I didn’t mean any of it. Not a word.”
“When Sin proposed a match between us, all you had to say was that you weren’t interested. Instead you were cruel. You humiliated me and it broke my heart into a million pieces. If nothing else, I thought we were at least friends. But a friend would never be so heartless.”
“How can I fix this?” Leith’s voice is desperate.
“You can’t be fixed by the same person who broke you.”
Lorna takes a ring of keys from her purse and holds them out to Leith. “You should give my position to Greer. She’s the most capable.”
Leith refuses the keys. “No. I’m not taking those from you because you’re not quitting the pub.”
“I am. Doesn’t matter if you take these or not. I won’t be back.”
“Where will you go?”
“I hear Leon is hiring at the club and the pay is good.”
Leith’s jaw becomes rigid. “Absolutely not. There’s no way I’m letting you dance naked.”
“Guess what, Leith? Whores are pretty limited in what their job description includes.”
Lorna drops the keys on the cocktail table and walks out the front door without looking back.
Leith fists the front of his hair while both hands rest on his forehead. “I’m so stupid.”
I hope he feels like a piece of shit for what he did to Lorna.
He stumbles and Sin rushes toward him. “You look like shite. You need to go back to bed before you collapse.”
“I have to go after her.”
He looks like he could crumple at any moment. “No. The only thing you have to do is lie down before you cause yourself to hemorrhage.”
Leith sways as he closes his eyes and holds the front of his head. “That may not be the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
Sin and I help Leith back to bed. “Bleu. Tell me how to mend this.”
I assume he’s asking me because I’m a woman, but I’m not experienced in relationship drama. All I can do is tell him how I’d feel. “It’s a fresh hurt. You can tell her over and over that you’re sorry but words are meaningless to her right now. All she’s going to hear is the echo of you calling her a whore.”
“You’re saying she’s never going to forgive me?”
I can’t speak for Lorna. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’d bet money that even if she does, she’ll never forget. I know I wouldn’t.”
“I’ve ruined my relationship with her forever.” At least he sounds remorseful.
“You confuse me, Leith. I’m not sure what kind of relationship you think you have with her. From where I stand, all I ever see is you ignoring her.”
“We work together all the time. It isn’t possible for me to ignore her.”
“Yet you do. You may occupy the same room but you look straight through her as though she isn’t there.”
“Is that how she feels?”
“Every day, all day long. She feels invisible to you.”
“I had no idea.”
“You’ve been thoughtless where Lorna is concerned.”
“I’ve never done anything to hurt her. She’s the one who hurt me.”
Cry me a fucking river.
There’s no way I’m going to let him off easy. “You parade women in and out of your office in her face. She isn’t stupid. She knows you’re screwing them yet she chooses to not let a man touch her in more than two years. She did that for you––to change the way you saw her. But her self-
denial didn’t change anything. You’ve been too busy fucking around to notice. It’s time to stop punishing her because you can’t get over what happened with the three of you.”
Leith jerks around to look at Sin. “You told her?”
“We don’t keep secrets from one another.”
“It’s in the past, Leith. You can’t keep punishing Sin and Lorna for what happened.”
“I’m not good at letting things go.”
“Then learn to be good at it. Or risk spending the rest of your life being miserable without Lorna. Your choice.”
“You’re my best mate,” he says to Sin. “You knew I loved her.”
“I do now, but not back then. I swear.”
They need to talk and I have no business being part of the conversation. “This is for the two of you to work out.”
I shut the door behind me. I consider going to bed but it’s early yet so I plant myself on the sofa in the living room. I turn on the television but it literally takes nothing more than a slow blink for me to fall asleep. This pregnancy and the accompanying anemia continue to rob me of energy despite the vitamins and iron.
I’m dozing on the couch when Ellison and Jamie return from their stroll. “That wasn’t a long walk.”
“Brrr. It’s so cold out there, the hookers are blowing on their hands.” Classic Ellison comment. And I love it. I’ve missed her sense of humor.
“You two act like we’re in Antarctica. It isn’t that cold.”
“It’s cold compared to where we come from. Which gives me something else to consider while making my decision to stay. You know how much I love being in a bikini on a boat drinking a cold beer in the middle of a lake on a hot day.”
Jamie’s eyes blatantly roam Ellison’s body. Yep. He’s totally imagining what that might look like.
“Nope. That won’t happen here.”
I have no doubt that Jamie is attracted to my sister. Perhaps I should have Sin speak with him about a match with Ellison. I already know she’d be keen. That is, if she decides to stay.
“I assume Leith did all right while I was out since you didn’t call.”
“Fine, if you don’t count when he got up and tried to go after Lorna when she left.”
Jamie looks irritated. “What a dumb arse. He could have caused himself to hemorrhage.”
“We put him back to bed.”
“I should check on him before I go to make sure he didn’t cause his wound to start bleeding again.”
Sin and Leith have been talking for a long time but I don’t want Jamie to interrupt. “It might not be the best time to check on him. Sin and Leith are hashing out the problem they have after what happened with Lorna a couple of years ago.”
I lift my brows at Jamie and hope he gets my drift since that’s all I can say in front of Ellison.
“I can check Leith’s wound when they finish talking if you’d like to go home,” Ellison says.
Jamie doesn’t look convinced. “Sure you don’t mind?”
“It’s no problem. I know what complications to look for and I’m here anyway. I might as well be useful.”
“It would be nice to get some sleep. I start a twenty-four-hour shift tomorrow.”
I figure Sin and Leith will be a while. “All the more reason for you to go. Don’t worry. Ellison’s a seasoned nurse.”
“Aye. She told me about her experience while we were out. Time wise, she has more hands-on experience than I do. She’s seen a lot.”
Ellison can be humorous and immature at times but she’s a damn good nurse. “She’s very competent and will have us call you if there’s a problem.”
“Okay. I’ll check in before my shift starts in the morning.”
Ellison’s willingness to help and Jamie’s ability to accept it is a good sign. There are going to be times when Jamie will need assistance and I can’t think of a better candidate.
I’d like to ask her what they talked about during their walk but I don’t want to push. The choice to stay must be hers. I can’t have her blame me for pushing her into a decision she’ll regret later. It’s no different than when Sin proposed. He was right to back away so I could weigh the pros and cons, so I’m going to do the same with my sister.
Chapter Twelve
Sinclair Breckenridge
“Well, hell. I bought this dress two weeks ago for your swearing-in ceremony and it fit fine. I put it on tonight and I’ll be damned if it’s not almost too tight.”
Bleu turns to study her profile in the full-length mirror. She cups her hand beneath her small baby bump. “Do I look like I’ve grown that much in two weeks?”
I wrap my arms around her from behind, my hands covering her lower abdomen. “I think they’re the ones who have grown. Not you.”
“Good answer.”
She weaves her fingers with mine. “It won’t be long until you hug me like this and your arms will barely be able to fit around me.”
I look forward to it. “Only means our babies are getting strong and healthy.”
“If I keep growing like this, I’m going to be huge.”
I don’t like the worry in her voice. “Your body is expanding to accommodate the growth of our babies. That’s the goal. We want them to stay in for as long as possible so they’re not sick or scrawny when they’re born.”
“I know. I want them to be big healthy babies.”
I kiss the side of her neck. “Never worry that I don’t think your body is attractive. You’re carrying my children––a part of me inside you. Nothing is more appealing than that. And I plan to show you just how sexy I think you are when we get home tonight.”
She turns in my arms and glides her hands up to my shoulders. “I really want to kiss you right now.”
I take note of the perfect coat of red shimmer on her lips. “But you won’t.”
She points to her mouth. “I don’t want to smear this and look like The Joker.”
“I intend on having this mouth later but there’s something else I want right now.”
I remove her hands from my shoulders. “Turn around.”
I lift the hem of her dress. “What do you think you’re doing?”
I push my hand down the front of her knickers. “Giving my wife a taste of what’s to come later tonight.”
She’s completely smooth except for the small narrow strip of short hair down the center. Fuck. It’s a turn-on every time.
I place my foot between hers and tap the insides of her ankles. “Spread ’em, Bonny.”
She steps apart and my fingers find her sensitive nub. Her arse squirms in a circular motion against my cock as I stroke her clit. I didn’t intend on this being about me but she’s making me rock hard.
I saw a hint of insecurity so my intention was to make her feel sexy. I thought I could rub her off now and we’d worry about me later. But I’m not so sure I can wait until tonight to have her. She’s turning me on too much.
I pull her against me and thrust my cock against her arse. “You have no idea how fucking fit you are.”
She grabs my hand and grinds against it. “Make me come.” Her voice sounds breathless, likes she’s been running a marathon.
I rub her clit faster and harder. “Does that feel good?”
“Yes. Keep doing it just like that.”
She reaches over her shoulder and grasps the back of my neck firmly while riding out the waves of her orgasm. “Oh God. That is so good.” She squeezes her eyes shut and leans into me. “I’m coming.”
She’s so slick. My cock would slide into her so easily right now.
“Bonny …” I don’t even know what I want to say. Or ask. I only know I’m hard and I’ll be miserable if I don’t get off.
“I’m dying to bend you over and fuck you like crazy, but I’d never forgive myself if I caused something bad to happen.”
“We’ll be careful.” She holds the hem of her dress at her waist and pushes her knickers down. “Undo your trousers.”
I unb
utton and await further instructions. I’d probably never admit it but I sort of like hearing her boss me around during sex.
She moves to the dresser and plants her palms on the top. She looks over her shoulder. “Come here, Mr. Breckenridge. We can’t run behind for your ceremony. It wouldn’t look very good for The Fellowship’s new leader to stroll in late because he was busy fucking his wife.”
I’m such a lucky bastard. “Yes, ma’am.”
I position my erection at her entrance. I push it in a little and pull back, making the tip slick before advancing further. I stand upright and grasp her hips as I push into her slowly. “Good?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
I pull back and plunge again. “You’re all right?”
“Yes, but this is going to take a while if you ask if I’m okay every time you move.”
I wish I had her confidence. “I can’t help it. Being inside you still makes me nervous.”
“How about you assume all is well unless I say otherwise?”
“That’ll work.”
I thrust into her and she says nothing. So I do it again. And again. I watch my cock sliding in and out of her. The sight alone is almost enough to make me explode.
I move my thumb to the cleft of her arse and drag my finger down. “I want to get inside this. But not now. After the babies come.”
I read that anal sex is discouraged during pregnancy. That’s fine. It isn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing to try. It’ll take some work so it’s good for her.
“A deed so dirty, it shouldn’t be done in the light of day?”
“Exactly.”
I was already close to coming but talking about anal sex––and Bleu not telling me no––pushes me over the edge.
We’re attending a formal occasion in thirty minutes. I don’t want her walking around smelling like sex.
“I’m not coming inside you.” I reach into the top drawer of the dresser and take out the first thing I see––one of Bleu’s cotton nightgowns. “Sorry. Hope you weren’t planning to wear this to bed tonight.”
“It’ll wash.”
She pulls her formal gown down and turns. “Maybe you can’t fuck me hard but you can still fuck me good.”