I hope she isn’t feeling as though she didn’t do enough or that I’m disappointed. “You survived and you kept them safe. You did what you could and they live because of the way you protected them.”
“I know I had no other choice, but I needed you to know that as well.”
“Bonny. I know you’d give your life for these babies, just as I would. Never underestimate my opinion of you again.”
“I’m not a bit sorry you took his life.”
Neither am I. And that is why we make the perfect couple. “I’m not the forgiving kind but that’s even truer when it comes to someone hurting my family.”
I get up. This time it’s me tugging on her hands. “Come. The doctor released you to home with the stipulation that you’d remain on bed rest. And you agreed.”
“He said modified bed rest. There’s a difference.”
“Brief showers and quick visits to the toilet is what he said. This is neither.”
“I’m fine, Breck.”
Like it or not, she can get ready for me to be on guard. She will do as the doctor advised as long as I’m around. “You are, but we’re not taking any chances until the tear in the placenta is healed.”
“I suppose I have no choice but to allow you to be overprotective after this week’s events.”
Damn right. “And I suppose I’ll allow you to believe you have a choice.”
“Ah. Mr. Breckenridge is a witty one today.”
“As is Mrs. Breckenridge.”
She comes to a stop at the office door and peeks in at her wall of suspects. “I’ll need to solicit Debra’s help with the investigation since I’ll be out of commission for a while.”
“I think that’s one of the better ideas you’ve had in a while.”
“How do you feel about temporarily turning the office into a bedroom for Lainie? Just until she figures out what she wants to do.”
My actions had a direct domino effect on Lainie’s life. I killed Jason, which led Torrence to rid himself of his wife and take Lainie as a breeder for his next heir. Although he was the one who abused her, I harbor guilt about the things that happened to her. I can’t turn her away. “I think that’s a very good idea, Bonny. Honorable and generous.”
We enter our bedroom and Bleu releases a long, drawn-out, “Aww.”
She goes to the bed and picks up the two Scottish teddy bears I’ve left for her. Both are wearing kilts, one in red and black plaid, the other in green and navy. “You remembered.”
“Only Scottish bears for our babies.”
“These are their first gifts. I love both.”
“I bought them while you were in the hospital but …” I don’t want to finish the sentence. It makes it too real.
“It’s okay. You can say it.”
I put my arms around her. “The fear of losing them made me realize I wanted these little ones more than my next breath. I was wrecked when I thought you were losing them. And even though the imminent danger is over, I’m still scared.”
“Dr. Kerr said the placenta will grow to cover the tear and clot. The problem will mend itself as long as I keep my activity to a minimum. So they’re going to be fine.”
“If the key is keeping your activities limited, I will see to it personally.” I gesture to the bed. “Sit.”
I go to her set of drawers and take out a cotton nightgown, her black yoga pants, and her favorite concert T-shirt. I hold each up on display. “Which do you want, milady?”
“The yoga pants since I probably won’t get to wear them much longer.”
“You think you’ll outgrow them soon?”
“I have no idea what to expect with one baby, much less two. But I’d think twice the babies means growing twice as big.”
“I need to replace the pregnancy book I bought for one about twin gestation.”
“I turned seven weeks today, so we should read it tonight. Make a bedtime ritual out of it.”
I like that idea. “It’s a date.”
I crouch before her. “Foot up.”
“I’m not helpless. I can take my own shoes off.”
She should get ready for some pampering. It’s happening whether she likes it or not. “Hush, Bonny. I’m doing this. You’re my wife and I want to take care of you.”
“Yes sir, Mr. Bossy Pants.” She obeys, lifting her feet.
“I’ve missed home.” Me too. We haven’t been here in a week.
I pull back the linens. “In you go, china doll.”
She climbs in and I cover her. “I have a ton of work to do. Can I get you anything before I start?”
“Will you work in here with me?” She bats her lashes playfully and I turn to putty in her hands.
I’ll get zilch work done in here with her. “I shouldn’t. We both know you’ll distract me.”
“Not the way I’d like to.” She shouldn’t be making sexual innuendos. It’s going to be a long time before that happens again.
“Not the way I’d like you to, either, but it’ll wait.” Modified bed rest includes pelvic rest. That’s medical terminology for no sex. “Hello, abstinence. Nice to see you again. It’s been a while.”
Bleu is undeniably amused, the proof in her laughter. “Anticipation, Breck. It’s the best kind of foreplay. Just think about how good it’ll be when you finally get it again.”
Those words sound very familiar. “I haven’t forgotten how much you enjoy making me wait.”
“I never enjoyed it. You just thought I did.”
“I know. All part of your master plan to make me see you were worth the wait. And you were. And this time will be too.” The end result will be babies. They’ll be worth every minute.
“What are you hoping for? Boys, girls, or one of each?”
I’m afraid to say one way or the other. Once it’s out there, I can’t take it back. “I’ll be thrilled with whatever we get.”
“That’s what everyone says. I want to know what you see when you envision our family.”
There’s no point in not being honest. “I see us with a combo package. A boy and girl.”
“Me too. But like you said, I’ll be thrilled with whatever we’re blessed to have.”
“You’re going to be an excellent mother.”
“I wish I had one of my moms here to help.”
She won’t be alone. My mum thinks of her as a daughter. I think she probably likes Bleu better than she likes me. “You’ll have my mum. She’ll be more than happy to help. And I strongly suspect you’re going to have your sister around for a while.”
Ellison is insisting she be Bleu’s caregiver while she’s recovering. I don’t think she has the intentions of leaving anytime soon.
“I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that. I’m afraid my attack has given her a small taste of what losing her only remaining family member would look like. She’s terrified of being alone, so much so that she’s mentioned staying long-term.”
Before Bleu and I married I was very decided. Ellison could never know about us. She could never visit. But now I see a side I didn’t before. “What do you want?”
“I’d love nothing more than for my sister to stay, but we both know why that’s not wise.”
Bleu misses her sister terribly. If she wants her to be here, I can make that happen. “We can’t keep our world a secret if she decides she wants to stay permanently.”
“No. Ellison can never know about The Fellowship.”
“Harry was very understanding. Ellison might be as well.”
“My father understood your way of life because he had a career that demanded he be educated about all the ins and outs of the criminal world. My sister is clueless. In her head, this kind of life is fictional.”
Bleu fails to see the possibilities. “You can be exceptionally close-minded at times.”
“Like someone else I know.”
I want Bleu to be happy and I know having her sister near will do that. “Think about it.”
“I’m not. To t
ell Ellison about our life would be to make her part of our world. I’d be taking her choice away once I told her about it. I won’t do that to her.”
“You weren’t expecting to but you fit perfectly into this world. She could as well. You might be surprised.”
“Ellison is soft. She’s not cut out for this life. It would eat her alive.”
I think my wife is taking her role as big sister a little too seriously. “She was raised by Harry MacAllister. She can’t be that delicate.”
“I beg to differ. Besides, she couldn’t become one of us without initiation. Someone would need to step forward and accept responsibility for her. No one is going to go through endurance so my sister can be part of my life.”
“Maybe not, but she’s attractive and her company is pleasant. It’s possible there’s a brother out there who would do it because he wants Ellison for himself. Perhaps you should be open-minded about bringing her into our circle.”
“I’m the first initiate of my kind. We didn’t get a lot of shit about it. But you’re a leader. You think the brotherhood will accept this as a new means for bringing females into The Fellowship when it’s not a leader involved?”
“They will if the leaders tell them it’s an acceptable method.”
Bleu looks hopeful for the first time. “If I tell Ellison, it must be a secret. No one can find out she knows in case she balks. Because that’s a real possibility.”
“Whatever you say, Bonny. Your game. Your rules.”
* * *
I’m sitting in the corner chair of our bedroom, my feet propped on the ottoman with my laptop on my legs. I’ve gotten much more work accomplished than expected. That’s probably because Bleu has been asleep for the last hour.
We aren’t home three hours when our first visitors arrive. Miraculously, the bell doesn’t wake my sleeping beauty. She must still be exhausted from the trauma her body has been through.
“Unfuckingbelievable,” I mutter beneath my breath as I get up. Who the hell is showing up unannounced?
I discover Ellison standing on the other side of my front door with Jamie holding what I assume are her bags. A lot of them. “Oh, good. You’ve already made it. I was afraid we might have beaten y’all home.”
Ellison walks past me and into the living room. “I love this decor. Understated class.”
She stands in the middle of the room, hands on her hips. “I know Bleu didn’t do the decorating but it’s totally her style. She doesn’t do froufrou.”
Jamie holds out two of Ellison’s bags for me to take. “Sorry. She wouldn’t let me call. She wanted her arrival to be a surprise.”
“Since when do you let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do?”
“Have you met her?”
Jamie already has her figured out. “Aye. Quite the princess.”
“I’d go with queen.”
“My apologies for putting her off on you these last few days.”
“She really wasn’t a problem. I enjoyed her company during our drives. She’s … interesting.”
“I couldn’t trust my wife’s sister to anyone but you or Leith. And frankly, I didn’t have a lot of confidence that Leith wouldn’t try to get into her knickers.”
“You’re wise for that. She’s a very fit lass.” Seems Jamie is taken by her beauty.
Ellison comes back into the foyer. “The guards from the hospital are here. In your apartment.”
“I extended their services to home. I don’t want Bleu to be without protection when I’m away at work.”
“But you’re here now. And so are they.”
“Their services are paid for, so I’m utilizing them.”
“I’m beginning to think there’s more to this mugging than anyone is telling me.”
Another smart MacAllister woman. “The mugger took Bleu’s purse so he knows where we live. This area of Edinburgh is known for being occupied by wealthy residents. He’ll know we have money and could possibly get ideas about coming back for more. I’m not taking any chances where Bleu’s safety is concerned.”
“That makes perfect sense. Looks like you can afford it, so why not?”
Ellison reaches to take her bags from Jamie. “I can get them.”
“It’s all right. I don’t mind taking them to the guest room for you.”
“Thanks.” Ellison grins and points at Jamie’s back as she follows him. She fans herself and mouths, “Hot!”
Ellison spins around in the entrance to the hall. “Is Bleu in bed?”
“Aye. She’s been asleep about an hour.”
“Then I’ll work on getting settled in while she’s napping. You’ll let me know when she wakes?”
“Sure.”
Jamie returns from the guest room alone. “All right. She’s all yours, mate.”
“Again, I appreciate you taking care of her for us.” I think he may have enjoyed it.
“Like I said, she was no problem.”
I motion for Jamie to follow me into the living room so Ellison can’t overhear our conversation. “Thank you for being sensitive to the fact that she knows nothing about the brotherhood.”
“I gave no thought to you marrying Bleu, but now I see why a marriage outside of The Fellowship is discouraged. It can become a problem quickly. That’s going to be a difficult charade to keep up.”
“It’ll be all right for a short time but Ellison has expressed interest in staying long-term.”
“That poses a bigger problem. How do you plan to handle that?”
I sit and Jamie joins me. I’m hopeful it’s a signal he has interest in Ellison staying. “We can’t hide The Fellowship from her if she stays. Bleu is considering telling her about us.”
“How would you pull off bringing a second American into The Fellowship?”
He’s right in assuming it would need to be handled in a diplomatic manner. My wife’s love for her sister won’t cut it. “The same way I brought Bleu in. Initiation. If she stays, I’m confident the right man will step forward and volunteer.”
Jamie’s never been in love. He doesn’t understand that it has no limits but I want the idea in his head so he can think about it. “A man will go to hell and back for the woman he loves. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.”
“I wouldn’t know. I can’t think of a single woman within The Fellowship I’d consider dating, much less claiming or marrying.”
He should broaden his horizons. “There could be a new prospect soon.”
“Why would I consider Ellison when I know upfront that being with her means getting the hell beat out of me?”
“You can’t understand now because the feelings aren’t there. But when they are, it changes everything.” There would be no doubt in his mind.
“You forget I saw what Ferguson did to you. Some tingly feelings labeled ‘love’ aren’t going to make me unsee that.”
I hardly even remember the endurance now. “It wasn’t so bad.”
“Bullshit.”
I have something interesting for him to consider. “Think about this. No other brother has ever had Ellison. Whoever gets her would be the first. And last.”
He crosses his arms and sits back. Grinning. “I doubt any of us would be her first.”
I’m about to blow his mind. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Bleu was a virgin.”
He shakes his head. “You’re a fucking liar.”
I hold up my palm. “Swear to God. I’m the first and only man to ever have my wife.”
“A fucking virgin. I didn’t think those existed anymore.”
“Neither did I until she came along.”
“Seeing you happy with Bleu gives me hope.”
“It’s all in finding the right one. Your Mrs. Breckenridge is out there. You just have to find her.”
* * *
“It feels great to be home in my own bed with my husband by my side.”
“Agreed. It’s nice to not have your nurse standing over us bitching that I must get
out of your bed.”
Bleu lies beside me, her hands clasped over her tummy. “Read to me? I love listening to your accent.”
“Like my Scottish brogue, aye?”
“It’s hot.”
I clear my voice and read the growth and progress for week seven from the pregnancy book I bought Bleu when we found out she was pregnant. I’m amazed by the changes our babies are experiencing this week. And also Bleu’s body. Specifically her breasts.
I stop reading and look over at Bleu’s chest. “I have not had the opportunity to properly inspect those.”
She shimmies her gown up until both are bared and looks downward. “They’re definitely bigger.”
Yes, they are.
“They’re magnificent.” I reach out and palm one. But I’m not able to enjoy their new plumpness because my eyes are drawn to the purple bruises scattered over her body.
She’s battered from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. It’s nothing short of a miracle that our babies survived.
I look away because I can’t stand seeing her body like that. It’s evidence of how I didn’t protect her.
I finish reading and place the book on my nightstand. “That’s it until next time.”
“Is the weekly read about our babies growth going to be the highlight of my week while I’m limited to bed rest?”
“I hope not because that sounds damn bleak.”
“I might not be able to go and do but I can’t be idle.”
I have complete faith that Bleu can be productive from the bed. “Whatever you need, Bonny. I’m happy to get it for you.”
“I have some things in mind. First, I’m going to have Debra come by every few days so we can brainstorm about the investigation. Two heads are always better than one. And I have a project I want to begin planning for the women of The Fellowship. Self-defense. They need to learn how to protect themselves.”
She’s expressed interest in that before. I’m happy to know she wants to execute a plan. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”