"Why are you here?" It came out harsher than I intended. I coughed to clear the emotion from overtaking my throat. "I mean, you and not Everett. And how did you know I was here?"
"Ah." Color rose in his cheeks. "I may have gone to your work and your boss told me you'd taken sick leave. I was worried, so I asked him where I could find Everett."
"Maybe my mind's still fuzzy from the drugs and everything," I worked to keep my voice even, "but that still doesn't explain why you're here."
"I came to apologize."
If I'd heard the slightest bit of arrogance in his voice, or even a hint that he was expecting an apology from me, I would've told him to get out, then had a few choice words for Everett for ratting me out.
But he not only sounded sincere, he sounded like he was...in pain.
"I don't even know where to start to tell you how sorry I am for what I said to you." His hands were curled into fists so tightly that his knuckles were white. "I won't make excuses, because I know that's all they'd be. Absolutely nothing is a good reason for how I behaved. It was childish, immature..."
He paused, and I raised an eyebrow.
"Go on."
One corner of his mouth twitched up, but the sincerity in his eyes stayed the same. "Juvenile, asinine, loathsome, despicable..." He put his hands on the edge of my bed. "I'll go through a whole thesaurus of words describing how horrible my behavior was, and I'll mean every word of it."
"Miss Birch."
The cheerful voice of the doctor interrupted, and the next few minutes were all about being poked and prodded and answering questions while Jace hung around in the hallway, pacing in front of the door. After I promised the doctor I'd eat whatever breakfast they brought me, she said she'd return in a bit to see if I was ready to be discharged.
While that should have been foremost in my mind, all I could think about was Jace coming back in and continuing our conversation. My head kept telling me to kick him out and call Everett, but if my best friend had already talked to Jace and hadn't kicked his ass, then maybe Jace had something worth saying.
"Is everything okay?" he asked as he came back to his seat.
I nodded. "Just the usual precautions."
He blew out a long breath. "I'd like to know why you're here, what happened, but I'm not going to push. What I did was unforgivable, and I know I've lost your trust. I have to earn it back, if I can."
I wanted to tell him that what he did hadn't been unforgivable. He hadn't cheated, or hit me, or anything like that. He didn't want to give me excuses, but I knew that between his mother and his ex, his being guarded and assumptive wasn't entirely without cause. Still, it didn't mean I was going to jump back into whatever our relationship was with him without giving it some hard thought.
He reached out and put his hand on my cheek, his thumb brushing the corner of my mouth. "Even if you can never forgive me, I plan to do whatever is necessary to make things right between us."
"I want to believe you," I whispered as he dropped his hand.
"From the first moment I saw you, I wanted you." He raked all ten fingers through his hair. "But it was more than just physical, even then. We connected."
"We did."
"It wasn't until I lost you – until I chased you away – that I let myself admit what I'd never imagined was possible."
My heart began to race, and color flooded my cheeks as the heart monitor made sure Jace knew about it.
He didn't comment on increased pulse, didn't even look at it, but I had no doubt he could hear it. "Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you. I don't know if it was when you laughed at the misunderstanding the first time we met. Or when I realize how amazing we were together, how well we complemented each other. Or maybe not until I began sculpting again and everything my hands made was you."
He fell in love with me?
He took my hand in his again and raised them, kissing my knuckles. "I love you, Savannah, and I will do whatever you want me to do to prove it to you."
Part of me wished this conversation could have come without us having gone through all the shit of the past few days, but another part of me wondered if Jace would have ever admitted any of these feelings if I hadn't walked away from him.
I could feel the tension radiating off of him as he waited for me to respond, but I didn't rush it. This was serious, and even though I was still in the hospital, I didn't want to postpone my answer. I'd rather take a little bit of extra time and be able to tell him the truth.
When it finally came, I knew it wasn't completely what he wanted to hear. "I love you too, but I don't trust you." His grip on my hand tightened. "I forgive you, and I want to work past all of this. It's just going to take some time."
He nodded. "I'll give you all the time you need." His eyes met mine, burning with the truth of everything he'd said. "Just don't give up on me."
Before I could reassure him, someone knocked at the door.
I looked up just as Veronica Randell walked into the room. She'd taken only a couple steps when her breath caught in her throat, eyes fixed on her son.
"Mom?" Jace stood so slowly I wasn't sure his legs would support his weight. He looked down at me, confusion in his gaze.
"You wanted to know why I'm here," I said quietly. "To do that, you need to meet your sister."
Twenty-Nine
Jace
Two weeks ago, I'd been completely floored to hear one of my best friends announce that he was going to be a father...and a husband. I'd watched him pine for a woman he'd barely known and hadn't understood it until I'd broken my own heart by being just as pig-headed as he'd been. Now, it was the fact that I was standing in the courthouse watching Alix and Sine signing their marriage certificate that gave me hope.
That, and the fact that Savannah was here with me.
Everett had come back to the hospital when she was discharged, but I followed them back to the apartment. I'd checked in with her every day, talked to her, texted her. I'd brought dinner for her and Everett both when she said it was okay. I never pushed for her to spend time with me, but made sure she knew that I wanted to be with her whenever possible.
And I kept my hands to myself as much as I could.
It was hell to do, almost painful for me to be close to her and not touch her. I'd considered myself a master of self-control, but now that I was the one being forced to deny myself with no control over when the end would come...it was a lot harder than I ever imagined it could be.
Sometimes, I hadn't been able to stop myself from putting my hand on the small of her back as we walked, or tuck a stray curl behind her ear, but I always watched her closely, ready to immediately step back if I saw the least hesitation. Just like I'd done the few times I was unable to keep myself from tasting her lips. I felt like a man dying from thirst who'd been granted a few sips of water to help him cling to life.
I'd spent my whole life never needing anyone, always able to take or leave relationships with little personal impact. My friends had been the first to break through those walls, and they'd stuck with me after Bianca destroyed them, but I vowed to never let myself be that vulnerable with another person again.
But I'd never seen Savannah coming.
"Sine looks beautiful."
I looked down at the woman standing next to me and my stomach flipped. "So do you."
Alix and Sine hadn't wanted anything fancy, so we were all in nice, but not flashy, clothes. Savannah, however, in her simple dove gray maxi dress, outshone everyone. It highlighted her gentle curves and made her legs look impossibly long for her height, both of which spoke to the artist in me as much as the man. My hands itched to run over her, to memorize this new image of her so I could translate it to clay.
"Not so bad yourself," she whispered as she smiled and held my arm a little tighter.
I didn't get the chance to reply because everyone else was clapping and moving to give the newlyweds hugs. Savannah and I followed and offered our congratulations.
"
Good for you," Alix said in my ear as we hugged. "It's worth it."
I nodded. He was right. No matter how long it took for Savannah and me to work through this, being with her was worth it.
As she and I went to the limo Erik rented for the five of us, my phone buzzed. I glanced at it, a smile curving my lips as I read the text message.
Those are awesome! They're Savannah, right? Mom said not to ask you because it wasn't my business, but I told her that if you didn't want me to know, you'd tell me. Besides, I think it's awesome that she's your muse. Do you think you could make something for me when I get out of here? Nothing fancy or sexy like those ones of Savannah, but maybe something like an animal? A butterfly? It'll be a few weeks before I'm able to go home, so you don't have to answer now. Love, Ig
My mother and I were still working things out between us, but I loved Iggy from the moment I met her. The part of me that was hurt by knowing that my mom had stuck around to raise her daughter when she left me didn't touch my sister at all. All of that negative shit was between me and Veronica. Iggy and I weren't carrying all that baggage.
"Iggy?" Savannah asked, a knowing smile on her lips.
I nodded and pulled her closer to my side. "Thank you again. For stepping up and saving her when I was being an ass."
She stretched up and kissed my cheek before sliding into the back seat next to Tanya. While I hated myself for having treated Savannah badly, it was nothing compared to the guilt I would have felt if Savannah hadn't gone to meet my mom and subsequently saved Iggy.
I was going in next week to do all the paperwork to be on the donor list, and then I would plan a fundraiser where I wouldn't only be asking for money, but for blood. I'd given to numerous charities through the years, and had even donated blood a time or two in college, but I was going to put my money where my mouth was this time. Maybe I could do for someone else what Savannah had done for my sister.
This afternoon, though, I was going to celebrate with my friends and use dancing as an excuse to hold the woman I loved.
I didn't want to go home alone. My arms had been around Savannah more tonight than they had been since the day I fucked up, and instead of making it easier to let her go, it made it near impossible to even think about walking to her front door and then walking away.
"You know," she said as she leaned closer to me, "the doctors cleared me for whatever physical activity I want."
I swallowed hard, reminding myself that I shouldn't read into anything.
"And I know exactly what I want."
I closed my eyes. "Fuck," I muttered, my dick already growing hard.
She kissed my chin. "Yes, please."
I opened my eyes and kissed her forehead. "I'm not going to have sex with you."
She stared at me, disbelief in her eyes. She wasn't the only one who couldn't believe what I just said. My cock was threatening open rebellion. I'd gone longer than two weeks without sex before, but I knew that when it came to Savannah, nothing I'd experienced before counted.
"Why not?" She seemed more confused than hurt or angry, more like the woman who'd responded to an accidental insult with a laugh.
"Because I love you, and you mean more to me than getting laid." I slid my hands down to the swell of her hips, fingers flexing at the thought of being inside her again.
"So, it's not because you're worried about hurting me?"
I gave her a half-smile. "Maybe that's a little bit of it." I lowered my head and brushed my lips across hers. "But it's more about trust, and you don't trust me. Not yet anyway. And I don't want to fuck that up by pushing you too fast."
She gave me a searching look, not saying anything as we finished out the song. Then something in her eyes shifted, like she'd made up her mind, and she took a step back. For one brief, terrifying moment, I thought I'd lost her for good, but then she reached out and took my hand.
Lacing her fingers between mine, she led me over to Sine and Alix, both of whom had arrived at their little reception looking distinctly rumpled and entirely smug. They'd also disappeared for about fifteen minutes less than an hour ago, and we all pretended like we didn't know what they'd been doing. At the moment, she was sitting on his lap, his arms around her waist, his hands resting on her stomach. The expressions on their face were matched ones of pure contentment.
"We're going to take off," Savannah said with a smile. She leaned over and kissed Sine on the cheek, then squeezed Alix's shoulder. "Have a great honeymoon, and we'll talk baby shower when you get back."
Alix's eyes dropped to our linked hands, then back up to meet mine. He grinned but only said, "Thanks for coming."
I opened my mouth to say something – exactly what, I didn't know – but Savannah beat me to it.
"Good night."
And then we were heading out the door. She gave the cab driver my address, then settled against my side, pulling my arm around her. A part of me wanted to ride it out, let her direct where we went and what we did, but another part knew that I wouldn't be able to keep from feeling like I'd taken advantage of her if we didn't talk.
"What are we doing, Sav?" I kissed the top of her head. "I mean, I love being here with you, and I'll stay as long as you want but–"
"I've decided to trust you." She leaned back so she could look at me after that rather startling statement. "So, don't do anything stupid again."
My heart gave a wild thud. "I'll do my best, but you have permission to kick my ass when I do."
"Deal." She grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me down until her lips were a breath from mine. "Now, I love you and I trust you, which means it's time for you to tie me up and fuck me."
I couldn't argue with that.
Thirty
Savannah
When Jace mentioned that he and his friends owned a place in Aspen, I didn't know why the first thing that came to mind was a cottage. I knew all four of them were loaded enough to buy homes worth a couple million, but aside from being mentioned once or twice in the six months since Jace and I had gone from unsure to definitely together, I hadn't really thought about it.
Then Jace had planned a romantic Valentine's Day week for the two of us, and I'd forgotten that the picture in my head most likely wouldn't match the real thing. I had a couple other things on my mind.
It was spectacular. Five bedrooms, so each of the guys had one of their own, with one leftover for guests, but it wasn't the number of rooms that made it so awe-inspiring. Every exterior wall was glass, and with it being on the side of a mountain overlooking a river, the view was incredible.
"Do you ever get used to this place?" I asked as I came out of the bathroom, snug and warm in the plush bathrobe Jace bought for me.
We'd been here for three days, and I still wasn't used to it. Surrounded by the snow-covered Rockies and inundated with the scent of pine, we were wonderfully isolated, able to focus solely on each other. And able to do whatever we wanted pretty much wherever we wanted. Only the other guys' bedrooms and bathrooms were off limits. Which meant we'd had sex on pretty much every other available piece of furniture in the entire house.
"I haven't." Jace came over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "But it's become more beautiful with you here."
He looked over to where a pair of sculptures stood on either side of the fireplace. They were me, but more intimate parts than he'd wanted anyone else to see. I still couldn't look at them without blushing, so I was glad he decided to keep them.
His show had gone over spectacularly. Everyone had been shocked and thrilled in equal parts when he revealed his new medium. No one but me knew the true story behind the change. I kept it out of the article, just as we'd kept our relationship quiet until after the show. After that, we'd gone public and hadn't looked back. I'd written other articles for The Heart of Art and was now looking into branching out on my own. Jace was working on a new set of sculptures that were all about textures in nature.
Things were going great for both of us, and I hoped this was still only
the beginning.
"When it's warmer, we'll go out there," he said as he led me over to the massive French doors that opened onto the balcony.
"We could go out there now," I said, leaning into his warmth. "Get all bundled up and walk out onto the snow."
He settled his hands on the belt of my robe, his breath hot on my ear as he spoke, "But I don't want you bundled up."
I shivered as he slowly slid the robe off my shoulders and tossed it onto a nearby chair. I could see our reflection in the glass, see the way my eyes had darkened. See the desire on his face as he looked at the reflection of my naked body.
"Put your hands on the glass."
I'd been fully aware of the glass walls before, but this was different. We were so close that if we'd been in the city, someone would have seen us. But we weren't in the city, and no one else was around. So, as he cupped my breasts, thumbs teasing my nipples, I let myself forget about everything but him.
A sharp jolt of pain went through me as Jace tightened his fingers, pinching my nipples hard enough to make my breath catch. His teeth scraped the shell of my ear, then nipped my earlobe before kissing his way down my neck.
"You are the most beautiful, most amazing woman I've ever met."
His lips and tongue whispered over my skin even as his fingers continued to roll and tug at my nipples, the gentle caresses and steady throb of pain at such odds that they merged into that intense pressure I'd grown to love, promising a huge explosion of pleasure.
One hand slid down my stomach to brush against the dark curls between my legs and I parted them, fighting to keep my eyes open against the rush of anticipation flooding through me. He'd introduced me to so many things in the time we'd been together, and I loved every one of them.
His two middle fingers slipped down on either side of my clit, the v putting just the right friction on either side of that bundle of nerves, even as his mouth and other hand continued their assault on skin still sensitive from the past few days.