“So what's the event for?” I felt bad that I hadn't asked before. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that there might be a cause that Julien thought was important.
“Autism awareness.”
“Really?” I couldn't hide my surprise. I'd fully been expecting something like saving whales or cancer research. Those were important, but I hadn't thought of autism as being something on Julien's radar.
“Did you know I had a younger brother?”
I shook my head. I'd always assumed he was an only child.
“Steven,” he said. “I was ten when he was born. He was diagnosed with autism when he was two. It was pretty severe. Doctors said he'd never be able to function in society, that my parents should put him in a home. By the time he was five, they couldn't handle him anymore. His meltdowns were violent. He couldn't bear to be touched, but he also couldn't do anything for himself. Mom wanted to hire in home help, but my dad insisted that they look elsewhere.”
I reached over and took his hand.
“They found a place for him in upstate New York, the best money could buy, of course.” He gave me a bitter smile. “But the money didn't do any good when the place caught on fire two years later. Two nurses died trying to get him out, but they weren’t able to save him.”
“I'm so sorry.” My heart ached for him. Losing my mother had been difficult, but to lose a sibling under such tragic circumstances... I couldn't imagine it.
He squeezed my hand and then let it go. “Thank you.” He cleared his throat. “My parents don't like to talk about him.” His mouth twisted. “My dad pretends like Steven never existed, like he wasn't the one who pushed to send him away. My mom... it hurts her too much and I know she blames my dad.” The tone of his voice told me that it wasn't just Julien's mother who blamed his dad. “Steven's a very private part of our lives.”
I heard what he wasn't saying. Not many people knew about his brother. I wasn't sure how I felt about being one of the few who did. It connected us, created an intimacy I wasn’t ready for us to have. But I realized how selfish that was and patted his hand, giving it a squeeze.
“I also support one for the arts, and another for underprivileged youth.” He brought the conversation back around before I could overanalyze things. “Though my idea of art and my parents' ideas of art aren't exactly the same.”
I chuckled, as I was clearly meant to do and the strange tension between us eased. “Now I need to know what you consider art, because some of that abstract stuff, I just don't get.”
I may not have been rich, but I'd gone to a prestigious enough school that our art classes were more about Monet and Van Gogh than about actually getting our hands dirty with the art work ourselves. One of the few things I'd enjoyed about St. George was their insistence in taking the students on as many trips to museums and galleries as possible. My passion may have been dance, but I appreciated many forms of creativity.
Our art discussion kept us engaged until we reached the event venue. I couldn't stop myself from staring like a little kid. The Mansion at Noble Lane was the kind of place where a kid like me would've daydreamed about getting married. Once an actual home, the mansion sprawled out in front of us and it was hard to imagine that people had actually lived here long ago. While it was mostly known for being a wedding venue, I supposed that, with enough money, it could be rented for other events as well. With twenty-two acres, it wasn't like it had a shortage of room for a massive number of guests.
“I didn't realize we were coming here,” I said as Julien took my hand to help me out of the car. “I've always wanted to see it up close.”
“Well, now you can say you have,” he said as he hooked my arm through his.
We followed several other couples who'd also just arrived, walking along a well-lit path that lead around to the back where massive tents had been set up. The weather was perfect, the air cooling off a bit as the sun started to go down. The surrounding trees offered a breeze that was neither too strong nor too weak. I didn't think they could've gotten a better day if they'd been able to pay for it.
“You've got to be kidding me.” Rebecca's voice easily carried across the lawn.
I turned toward her, a plastic smile already on my face. She glared at me as I gave her a little wave. Her knuckles whitened around the stem of the champagne glass she was holding and I secretly hoped it would snap. Any amusement I got out of that was lost when my gaze locked on to movement behind Rebecca and saw Brock standing there. Our eyes met for a moment and then he quickly looked away, his cheeks turning a dark enough shade of red that I could see it from where I was standing.
“I'd like you to meet my parents,” Julien said. One corner of his mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “But, don't worry, I already told them we were just friends.”
I loved his thoughtfulness; that I didn't even have time to get anxious about what they'd think before he was setting my mind at ease. I'd been a bit worried that it'd be uncomfortable going to this thing with Julien, concerned that it'd put some sort of expectation on us both. I wasn't feeling pressure at all.
As he led me past a small knot of people, I heard a sharp intake of air and knew, without even looking, that it was Reed. I kept my head facing front and didn't even hesitate in my step. I was planning on talking to him later if I could get him alone and thank him for my gift. It was the least I could do since it was changing my future, but now wasn't the time.
Julien's parents were friendly enough, though that was probably more because I wasn't trying to snag their son than it was them actually liking me. As long as they didn't start acting like I was a gold-digger or call girl, it was a step up from previous times I'd met parents on this side of the continent.
“Let's find our seats,” Julien said as his father excused himself to officially start the event.
Tables had been set up in a circle around a large space I could only assume was a dance floor. We made our way to one of the tables closest to the podium and I saw Julien's name and a plus one. Unfortunately, I also saw Britni and Reed's names at the same table. Suddenly, the evening wasn't looking like much fun.
Fortunately, the other people at our table were nice enough and they either didn't sense the subtle tension or were too polite to comment on it. Reed and I did our best not to speak or even look at each other and Julien helped with that. Once the meal portion of the evening was over, Britni excused herself to the restroom and the other couples wandered off to mingle or whatever it was rich people did at these things. That left Reed, Julien and me alone at the table.
I glanced at Julien. I might not get another chance to tell Reed I was sorry, but I wasn't sure how to ask Julien to leave, especially since he knew there was history between us. Julien caught my eye and nodded, understanding in his gaze. It amazed me how well he could read my emotions and thoughts.
“If you'll both excuse me. I need to visit the restroom.” He smiled down at me. “I'll be back in a few minutes.”
I looked over at Reed and saw that he was already watching me. I couldn't read his expression though and in the dim lighting, his eyes were jet-black.
“I owe you an apology,” I began. His eyebrows rose, but that was all the reaction I got. I kept going. I'd practiced this speech ever since Julien had invited me tonight. I knew it was the only chance I'd have to say it. “When you showed up at my place in Vegas, I'd literally just found out about what Brock had done and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that.”
His face softened, and he leaned toward me.
“No matter what else had happened between us, I should have known better than to accuse you of something like that. I did know better. You'd never force yourself on anyone. I was out of line, and I'm sorry.” I twisted my fingers together as I waited for a response.
“I'd never hurt you like that, Piper.” His voice was more intense than it should have been to simply accept an apology. And it definitely shouldn't have made my stomach clench with desire.
He continued, “I'm
sorry I lost my temper. I came there to apologize and made things worse.”
“Well, I think we're about even now,” I tried to joke, but one look at those near-black eyes and my mouth went dry. I hated that my body responded to his that way.
“So you accept my apology?”
There was a hopeful note in his voice that I tried to tell myself wasn't there. “I do,” I said cautiously. “And I want to thank you for the gift.”
“I'm glad you accepted it.” He reached across the table and curled his fingers around my hand. “And I'm glad you're back in Philadelphia.”
I pulled my hand away as quickly as I could without being rude. I didn't want to start another fight, especially not here where Britni could be back at any moment. My skin tingled where it had touched his and I rubbed my hand on my leg under the table, wishing I could scrub away the feeling. “After I graduate from the studio, I hope you find another dancer to extend the grant to. There are a lot of talented people who don't get the chance to fulfill their potential simply due to a lack of funds.” I could hear the stiffness in my voice and hoped he understood that I was closing off the personal part of the conversation.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I never heard what it was because at that moment, Britni returned. She glared at me, but I gave her a polite smile and sipped at my champagne. It was Reed's decision to tell her about the grant. As far as I was concerned, he and I were done. We might see each other at events like this, but I would make a point of not being alone with him again.
My stomach twisted as I thought of it. Sure, I'd told myself that I wanted to be free of him, but in truth, his touch was almost enough to make me forget everything that had happened.
It was crazy, I knew, but I couldn't help the way my body reacted when he was near. My brain said to quit being stupid and my heart agreed, but other parts of my anatomy were still asking why I hadn't kept holding his hand. And it wasn't helping that, even with Britni at his side, he was still watching me.
“Would you like to dance?” Julien's voice came from my left and I nodded quickly; grateful for any excuse to look away.
I slid my hand into Julien's, feeling the heat of Reed's gaze on the back of my neck. “I'd love to.”
He led me onto the dance floor and I slid my arms around his neck. His hands started on my hips, but I stepped closer and let him slide them around to the small of my back. I needed to stop thinking about the unattainable and focus on what I had. Julien was a sweet guy who'd never tried to be anything more than a friendly ear. I needed to focus on my friendship with him and not get bogged down with all that emotional, romantic shit.
The only thing was, now that Reed had touched me, it was like a switch inside had been flipped and I wasn't able to turn it off. I kept feeling the way the warmth had spread through my hand and then remembering what it had been like when he'd touched me other places. I wondered what it would be like if he was the one I was dancing with.
“Don’t break your brain,” Julien said, cutting into my thoughts. I glanced up at him, unsure of what he meant and he laughed. “You seem to be thinking about something awfully hard.”
I flushed as I realized what I'd been doing. How could I be angry at Reed for watching and thinking about me while he was with his wife when I was thinking about him while I was with someone else? Granted, Julien and I weren't even dating, but it was still rude and unacceptable. And dangerous.
“Sorry,” I said. “Won't happen again.”
He smiled his easy smile. “Don't mention it. If you knew how often I daydreamed at these things, you'd think I was even more of a rebel than you already do.” His eyes were sparkling with good humor. “That is, if you think I'm a rebel at all and not just a bored rich kid with too much time and money on his hands.”
My body began to relax as we talked. Other people danced around us, but they were nothing but peripheral shapes moving in the background. The only ones I saw clearly were the faces I knew. Brock dancing with some petite blonde who didn't look like she was going to need any extra encouragement to fuck him tonight. Rebecca leaning against a handsome young man whose smile probably cost more than my apartment. And, of course, Reed and Britni. No matter how Julien and I moved, Reed was always there, at the corner of my eye. I kept my face at an angle, not wanting to look at him full-on. It was bad enough that I could feel him watching me. I didn't want to have to acknowledge it when his wife was right there in his arms.
Julien spun me around as another song began to play and I laughed as I whirled away from him... right into someone's waiting arms.
I hit the muscular chest and caught a whiff of subtle aftershave, confirming what I already knew. I looked up into those obsidian eyes and was lost.
Six
“Piper,” he murmured my name as his arms closed around me and it was all I could do not to lean into his embrace.
I could see the truth in his eyes. He really did want to be with me. It wasn't just lust I was seeing there, but something deeper I wasn't sure I wanted to name. It connected to a point inside me, a flame of hope I thought I'd extinguished, and it latched on, drawing me to him. His hands were on my bare back, the heat from them setting my skin on fire.
It felt like the moment lasted a lifetime, but when I found the strength to step back, only a couple of seconds had passed.
“Thanks for stopping me from falling.” The words sounded stiff and wooden, but I hoped they'd be enough to satisfy any gossipers.
“Dance with me.” Reed took a step toward me, seemingly oblivious to the people still dancing around us.
I shook my head and went another step back. “You should dance with your wife.” A sharp pain went through me, but I knew it had to be said. I couldn't keep doing this. To me or him. “You're starting a family. You can't dance with me. You can't see me.”
I hurried away before he could protest. Julien didn't try to stop me, though I did catch a glimpse of him coming after me. I followed the discreet signs and ducked into the bathroom before he could catch up and then went into a stall. I leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and trying not to cry. I'd told Reed all this before, but somehow, this time felt more final.
When I was sure I wasn't going to do anything completely embarrassing, I flushed the toilet and stepped out to wash my hands. While I was still at the sink, the door opened and I automatically glanced up. I stiffened as I saw Britni enter. I'd never spoken to her one-on-one, only general comments in a group setting. Since she was striding toward me, I knew that was about to change.
“Piper.” She stopped about a foot away and folded her arms.
I nodded in acknowledgement as I dried my hands. I didn’t indicate that I had any idea of why she wanted to talk to me. For all I knew, she was there because of Brock. Sisters could be protective.
“Listen to me, you little bitch.”
I clenched my jaw and reminded myself that it wouldn't be a good idea to knock her out.
“I don't know what kind of game you're playing here, with my brother and my husband and Julien, but whatever it is, Reed's not a part of it anymore.” Her eyes narrowed. “Brock told me what you did for a living in Vegas, and I know that you're dancing at Madam Emilana's now.”
I wasn't sure which revelation shocked me more, though I was leaning toward the dance studio. How had she found out about that? And if she knew I was there, did she know that Reed was paying for it?
“If you don't stay away from my husband, I'll make sure everyone knows that you're not just a gold-digger, but that you used to be a stripper. The only reason I'm not announcing it right now is because you're with Julien and the Atwoods are a very influential family.” Almost as an afterthought, she added, “And most everyone here knows you were dating my brother, and I don't want to spread it around that he sank that low just to get laid.”
My hands clenched into fists. I wasn't going to do or say anything that could ruin Julien's family's event. I owed him that much. Still, it took all of my self-control to l
et Britni walk away thinking she'd sufficiently cowed me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, counting to ten. When I was certain I wouldn't go after Britni and at least knock out a couple teeth, I walked back out to the tents.
I didn't have to go far to find Julien. He was standing at the edge of the canopy, anxiously looking in my direction.
“Are you okay?” he asked as soon as I was close enough to hear.
“Do you have anything else you need to do here?” I ignored his question and asked my own.
He shook his head, a puzzled look on his face. “No, why?”
“Because I want to go home.”
He didn't ask for an explanation or offer some excuse as to why he couldn't go. He simply slipped his arm around my waist and started toward the path leading around to the front of the building.
Seven
The few weeks following the charity event helped me establish a routine. My work schedule varied a bit, but it was more or less consistent. I'd go to work, class, then back to work. Home, then rinse and repeat. Whatever time I had off was generally spent on the apartment since it did, as Julien said, need some work; but I enjoyed it. There was definitely something satisfying about cleaning and painting and doing repairs on a place that was mine. The guy who leased it to me had said that as long as I wasn't tearing out walls, I could pretty much do what I wanted without having to ask permission.
At least once a week, Anastascia stopped by. Sometimes she brought dinner for us both, other times she came to help. Julien came by more often, though the two of them rarely crossed paths since they were on different schedules. Most of the time, he liked to stop by before class if I wasn't working.
It was one of those mornings during the second week of October when Julien and I were working on stripping the finish off of an ancient table I'd found at a thrift store. Well, I was stripping off the finish and Julien was attempting to help. He'd done something to his hand over the weekend, though he refused to tell me what. It was slow going with his left hand, but I appreciated the help nonetheless. The windows were all open and we had a fan going, but the smell was still strong enough that, by mid-morning, I had the front door open too.