“So...” His fingers tightened around the cup in his hands.
I couldn't bring myself to keep him waiting anymore. Band-aid approach then. I kept my voice as gentle as possible, knowing it probably wouldn't soften the blow. “This isn't going to work between us, Reed.”
Hurt flashed across his eyes and he reached for my hand, taking it between both of his. “Please, Piper. I know I fucked up. Let me make it up to you. I promise I can be a better man.”
I gently pulled my hand away. “I'm sorry.” I shook my head. “What we had.” I struggled to find the right words. “It was too intense, based purely off of emotion and physical attraction. I'd had a crush on you and we were both vulnerable. The sex was great, but whatever connection was there, it wasn't real.”
His mouth tightened. “Things could be different this time. I've changed.”
I nodded. “I know you have.” And he had. The fact that he'd stood up to his parents was huge. “But I've changed too. I've learned a lot about myself and done some growing up. One of the things I realized was that we aren't right for each other.”
I watched as it sunk in and waited for a blow-up. His fingers flexed on the table.
“Is there someone else?”
For a brief second, I considered lying to him, but then realized I'd be doing exactly what I'd accused him of doing. It'd hurt for him to hear the truth, but it would be worse if he found out I'd lied.
“There is,” I confirmed.
A shadow passed across his face. “Who?”
“It doesn't matter.” He'd find out soon enough. I had no doubt the gossip mongers would have a field day with this one. “But I know he and I are supposed to be together.” I wanted to apologize again, but refrained. I hadn't cheated on Reed or led him on. I felt bad that he was hurting, but he pain couldn’t become my responsibility.
After another minute of silence, he let out a slow breath. “Okay,” he said. His eyes met mine. “I hope he knows how lucky he is.”
I smiled. I couldn't help it. “We both do.”
He drained his coffee while I tried to figure out something to say. Unfortunately, I blurted out the first thing that came into my head without thinking about whether or not it was appropriate.
“Are you going to try to work things out with Britni?” I slapped my hand over my mouth. “Shit. I'm sorry. That was completely out of line. It's none of my business. I'm so sorry.”
He held up a hand, the corners of his mouth twitching with humor. I had a flash of memory about what it had felt like to have those lips on mine, moving over my skin. There was fondness to the memory, but no heat, confirming what I'd told him. My feelings for him were platonic.
“It's okay,” he said. “And the answer's no. I'm through letting other people dictate my life.” He gave me a sad look. “It's already cost me too much.”
He didn't have to tell me what he was thinking at that moment because my mind was already there. How different things might've turned out if he'd made that decision earlier. If he'd broken up with Britni before his bachelor party, would he have forgotten about me and our little tryst, or would he have tried to find me? If he'd followed through with it when we'd been in Vegas, would he have asked me to come back to Philadelphia with him? Would I, instead of planning a date with Julien this weekend, be looking forward to spending Christmas with the Stirlings, perhaps wondering if it was too early to be thinking about a ring?
I didn't like where that train of thought was taking me. I asked another question, “What about the family business?”
“Rebecca,” he said. “My parents are pissed enough at me that they're going to let her be in charge, even though they'd always said she wasn't cut out for business. I just hope the people in the company aren't going to suffer because of what I did. Punishing me is one thing...” His voice trailed off and he forced a half smile. “I'm not going to let it change my mind. Whatever Rebecca does will come back on them.”
“What about you?” I asked. “Do you think she'll do a good job?”
He rolled his eyes. “Piper, you know my sister. What do you think?”
I smirked. “She flunked economics and, rumor has it, did some 'extracurricular work' to pass her computer class. Social media was the extent of her computer knowledge.”
“So you can understand why they haven't let her do anything before.”
“Maybe they'll change their mind about the whole Britni thing to keep Rebecca out of the board room,” I suggested.
He shook his head. “They aren't the kind of people who'll go back on a threat. They'll put her in charge to punish me. But I'm not going back there.”
“Right.” I suddenly remembered. “Your business idea.”
He spun the empty coffee cup between his fingers. “I'm thinking now I might put things on hold for a while.”
Guilt welled up inside me. So I had screwed up things.
“I need to clear my head,” he continued. He glanced up at me. “About a lot of things, not just this.” He gestured between the two of us. “I need to figure out where my life's going and what I want from it. I'd never really given it serious thought before. It'd always been understood that I'd take over the family business, and I didn't have anything that was pulling at me, some other passion I needed to explore.”
“Where are you going to go?” I asked. I couldn't imagine never having dreams of my own. As poor as I'd grown up, my mother made sure I'd known, with enough hard work, I could accomplish what I wanted.
“Europe,” he said. “I have a few friends from college who live there. One is in Germany, another in France. I haven't seen them in a while. I'll look them up.” He tried for a wider smile. “Besides, rumor has it the women over there are easy.”
I forced a laugh and he did the same. I could tell he was trying not to show what he was really feeling. “And I've heard they like Americans.”
He smiled at my attempt to go with his joke. He glanced out the window and stood. “I really should get going.”
I stood as well. We looked at each other for a moment before exchanging an awkward hug.
“Be careful,” I said.
He nodded and turned toward the door.
A question popped into my head. I didn't want to ask it, but I knew I needed to. “Reed, about the dance grant.” He stopped and turned. “I need to know when it expires.”
“It doesn't.” His voice was quiet. “You have talent, Piper, and you deserve every opportunity to use it. It was a gift to you; no strings attached.” He paused, and then added, “And I’m taking your suggestion about making it a permanent thing for low-income families. Once your studies are complete, you'll get to help select another person to help.”
“Reed, I don't know what to say.”
“Nothing,” he said. “I just expect some good seats when you make it to Broadway.”
And then he was gone, leaving me standing in the café wondering if it was possible that things had actually just gone better than I'd ever imagined.
Nine
I'd fully expected to be nervous when Julien picked me up for our date, but I wasn't. Not that I was exactly calm. Excitement hummed along my skin and the anticipation made my heart beat faster the closer the time got. Anastascia had gone back to her place yesterday, so I didn't even have her around to distract me. In fact, her parting words about why she hadn't stayed out the weekend had been about giving Julien and me space to do what we wanted, where we wanted. Not exactly the words of encouragement I could've used.
Would we end up back here? How long did he want to wait? The question kept circling in my head even as we walked to his car. I reminded myself that Julien and I were going to do this right. If we had sex tonight, it would be because the timing was right, not because I had no self-control when it came to him being naked.
I was surprised our conversation came as easily as it had when we were nothing more than friends. I'd anticipated an awkwardness that never came to be. We didn't struggle for topics or rehash the discussi
ons we'd had before. If it hadn't been for the little things, it could've been any one of the dozens of times we'd hung out together as friends. Little things like Julien taking my arm as we walked down the concrete stairs to the entrance of The Tavern or how he placed his hand on the small of my back as our waiter led us to a table by the wine cellar.
The cold and threat of snow had kept people away and the place was relatively empty. We could hear the piano and singing from upstairs and it added a nice background to our easy conversation. He told me about what he was doing with all of his father's businesses and I told him about the different aspects of dance I was working on. We discussed the possibilities of ways he could use his family's companies to better the community, as well as having a lively debate over which Christmas special was the best.
By the time the check came, what we were doing felt as natural as breathing. When he reached for my hand across the table and threaded our fingers together, little sparks of electricity danced across my skin. It felt right, like we'd been made to fit together. His thumb traced circled across the back of my hand.
“We didn't talk about where this night was going to end,” Julien said softly. His eyes met mine. “I should take you home, give you a kiss good-night and then call you tomorrow.”
I swallowed hard, my stomach clenching as I willed him to give a second option. I knew we'd only been on this one date, but my body remembered his too well and craved it. He'd said he wanted to take it slow, but I wasn't sure that was the best option.
He continued, “Or, you could come back to my place. My cousin and his girlfriend left this morning. We could watch a movie and see where things go from there.”
“I'll take option number two.” I didn't even need to think about it.
Relief showed on Julien's face and his eyes sparkled. “I was hoping you'd say that.”
The energy between us on the ride from The Tavern to Julien's loft was almost palpable. If it hadn't started to snow, I probably would've leaned closer, run my hand over his thigh, but the roads were slick despite the salt trucks and I didn't want him to lose control of the car. Talking to cops or being in the ER was not how I planned on finishing out tonight.
Both of us were coated with fat, wet flakes by the time we got into his building and we laughed as we brushed them off. Even that laughter had an undercurrent of sexual electricity and only the presence of an elderly woman in the elevator kept us from starting things up right there. Instead, we stood next to each other, our fingers linked, and pretended we weren't both thinking about ripping the other one's clothes off.
I saw Julien's hands shaking as he tried to get his key in the door and I flushed with pleasure at the realization that I could do that to him. When he got the door open, he pulled me in after him and was on me before the door finished closing.
His mouth was hot and greedy, his tongue pushing between my lips even as he worked to remove some of the layers between us. Laughter bubbled up, escaping in a little burst at one of the points when our mouths parted. He pulled back, a puzzled expression on his face as he dropped his coat to the floor.
“I was just wondering if we were skipping the movie.”
He rolled his eyes and smiled, leaning down to take my mouth again. This kiss was no less intense, but the near frantic nature was gone. This was slow and thorough, one of those deep, wet kisses that movies always seemed to show but real-life never lived up to... until now.
My coat joined his on the floor, the snow melting into puddles next to our boots, but neither one of us cared about that at the moment. Without breaking the kiss, he picked me up and began to walk back toward his bedroom. I took advantage of my new position to tear my lips from his and begin working my way over the side of his neck and up to his ear.
He moaned when I tugged on his earlobe and the noise grew louder when I scraped my teeth on his neck. His hands tightened around me for a moment, and then released me, dropping me onto the bed.
I looked up at him as he undressed. His movements were unhurried, sensual as he unbuttoned his shirt. By the time it fell to the floor, my heart was racing. His pants were next, but he didn't just pull them off. It wasn't until he started on them that I realized what he was doing. He wasn't dancing, but it was stripping just the same. The tease, the leisurely reveal. As he kicked aside his pants, he was left in just a pair of gray boxer-briefs, tight enough to reveal how much he was enjoying what he was doing. Those came off at an excruciatingly slow pace, the expression on his face saying he liked taunting me.
Once he was done, I reached for the hem of my sweater, ready to return the favor. His hands covered mine, stopping me. Without a word, he moved my hands aside and pulled my shirt over my head. His eyes locked on mine as he peeled off my pants, ending up on his knees in front of the bed. He parted my legs, dropping his gaze to the dark green silk I was wearing.
“Damn,” he swore softly. “You're soaked through.”
I sat up and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, pulling the two of us together until my mouth covered his. I took control of the kiss, my tongue sliding between his lips to explore the hot recesses of his mouth. His hands skimmed over the bare skin of my back, fingers finding the hooks and making short work of them. I moaned as his hands moved along my ribs, around to begin to work their magic on my breasts.
I arched into his touch, our mouths parting. His lips trailed fire down my throat, pausing every so often to shower a bit of extra attention. Not so much that I'd have to worry about covering it up, but enough to know that's what he wanted to do. When his mouth reached my breasts, I buried my fingers in his hair, loving the long, silky strands.
“Don’t ever cut your hair,” I whispered.
I wanted to close my eyes as he lavished attention on first one breast, then the other, but I wanted to watch him more. He looked up at me, his eyes darkening with each gasp and moan. Then his fingers were hooking around the elastic of my panties and they were sliding down my legs. They caught on my right ankle, but neither of us paid any attention. I was too busy watching him kiss his way down my stomach.
He sighed as his fingers slid between my folds, parting them and making way for his tongue. He licked one long stripe, making me fall back on my elbows.
“I've been dreaming about this,” he said, glancing up at me. “Making love to you this way.”
He hooked my legs over his shoulders and stretched his hands on either side of me so that our fingers locked. This time, when he buried his face between my legs, I called out his name. My fingers tightened around his as his lips and tongue went to work. Pleasure washed over me as his talented mouth sent every nerve singing. But it was when he looked at me from under those thick lashes that everything else faded away. I could see into the depths of his soul and something inside me reached out to something inside him.
As a child, I'd always been a romantic, believing in true love and happily ever after. Life had quickly taught me that those things didn't exist. When I'd first hooked up with Reed, I'd felt those parts of me wanting to come back, but I'd thought his betrayal had killed the last of any real romantic notions. Now, I found they hadn't been killed, but rather had just been dormant these past few months. I knew there'd be work and it wouldn't be easy, but in that moment, I knew I'd found my soul mate.
My orgasm burst over me as the realization hit me and I cried out, my back arching, hips rising, sex clenching around his tongue. He held me, kept me grounded as I came, and then his hands were on my hips, moving me further onto the bed. I heard a familiar ripping sound, and then he was stretching out over me, his cock nudging at my still quivering core.
“I love you,” I said, reaching up to press my palm against the side of his face.
The smile that spread across his face brought tears to my eyes. “I love you, too.” He brushed a stray hair off of my cheek, then leaned down to kiss it.
I raised my hips even as he surged forward and we came together in one firm thrust. His mouth covered mine, swallowing the half-s
cream that came from the sudden, nearly painful stretching. The feeling of being too full didn't stop me though. I began to move against him, with him, our bodies falling into an instant rhythm, the kind of dance that said we'd been partners for years.
He pressed against all the right parts of me and, as his hand slid over my hip and down my thigh to my knee, I knew we had been made for each other. He pulled my leg up and I keened as the change in position drove him even deeper than he'd been before. He was a part of me, connected in every way a person could be.
The room was hot, in stark contrast to the weather outside, and our bodies glistened with sweat. Our labored breathing mixed with the sounds of flesh coming together, punctuated by the pleasurable moans that escaped between kisses. It was just us, here in this room. The world outside didn't exist. Nothing and no one beyond the two of us. Time ceased to matter. We could've been there, riding the edge of passion, for minutes, hours or years. All I knew was that when it crashed over us, I didn't know if we could survive.
And then it was there, rushing, covering us with a flood of pleasure so intense I saw stars flash in front of my eyes and across his beautiful face. I heard Julien call my name and I was vaguely aware I was digging my nails into his back, but I couldn't get my muscles to obey me and release him, so I held him more tightly and rode it out.
Afterwards, our bodies lay entwined, trembling, and I wondered if either of us would have the strength to cover us with a blanket before we fell asleep. I put my arm across his stomach and pressed against him, not wanting to sink into oblivion. I knew it was irrational, but the last time I'd fallen asleep with him; he'd freaked out and run the next morning.
“I'm not going anywhere,” he murmured as he pulled me more tightly against his side. “Not this time. You're stuck with me.”
I kissed his chest. “Stop reading my mind.”