“My favorite food is chicken.” I pointed at him.
“Lobster.
“My favorite kind of flower is the gerbera daisy.” I pointed at him.
“You don’t like roses?” He cocked his head.
“Yes. Answer the question.”
“Orchids.”
“Really?” I smiled.
“If I had to pick one favorite flower, it would be them.”
“I was sixteen when I lost my virginity.” I pointed at him.
“Fifteen.” He smiled.
“With who?” I cocked my head.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“I was homeschooled until the age of ten.” I pointed at him.
He didn’t say anything and got up from his seat. “That was fun, but I think we should go inside now.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked as I grabbed my glass and followed him inside.
“Nothing. I want to make something very clear to you. My past and childhood are off limits.”
“I don’t understand.” I frowned.
He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t talk about my past to anyone, including you.”
“But why?” I asked in a soft voice as I stepped closer to him.
“Because I don’t.” His voice was authoritative and harsh. “If you can’t respect that, then maybe you should leave.”
“You can talk to me, Sebastian.”
As I went to place my hand on his arm, he backed away.
“No, Chloe, I can’t and I won’t.”
“How am I supposed to get to know you if you won’t open up to me?”
“You know enough. Leave it at that. It’s not like you need to know anymore.”
“You’re right.” I looked down. “I know enough. You have so much hatred in your heart and I feel sorry for you. But I know somewhere in there you have more good. I’ve seen it and I’ve experienced it.” I grabbed my purse and as I was about to walk out the door, I turned and looked at him. “Life is lost without love, Sebastian, and I hope someday you find it.”
Chapter 23
Sebastian
Standing there, I watched the door close. She was gone and, suddenly, my place felt empty, or was it my life? An empty feeling always resided in me from the time I could remember when I was a small child. Her words replayed over and over in my head. “Life is lost without love.” I didn’t know what love was. How could I? I’d never received it and I never gave it. I had once again hurt her. Just like I knew I would. I should’ve stayed away, but when I saw her on the street, playing the guitar, and her sweet voice sang that song, everything that I thought I had pushed away came rushing back. Just like it did the first time I saw her after our one night together.
Two weeks had passed. I didn’t contact her and she didn’t try to contact me. Anger made itself a comfortable place inside me. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t think, and I certainly couldn’t have sex. I didn’t want to have sex with anyone but her. She somehow left her mark on me, like an imprint on my soul. Sitting at the bar with Eli, we kicked back some drinks. He was the only person in the world who truly knew me and that was because we had been friends since we were ten years old.
“I think it’s time we had a talk, Sebastian.”
“About what?”
“These past couple of weeks, you’ve been different. Different than I’ve ever seen you before.”
“How?” I shot him a look.
“You haven’t been going into the office as much. You’ve been sleeping in later than you ever have. You don’t listen when people talk to you. It’s like you’re in another world and you’re way more of an asshole now than before. Damien told me that he asked you the other day what was wrong and you nearly castrated him.”
I threw back my bourbon. “I’m tired of people asking me what the hell is wrong. Nothing is wrong!”
“Chloe is what’s wrong. Man, come on. I know you’re thinking she could be the one and it scares the fuck out of you.”
Rolling my eyes, I signaled the bartender for another drink.
“I don’t believe in ‘the one.’”
“Really? Because you’ve dated countless women over the years and not one of them has ever gotten to you like Chloe has. If you want to see her again, you’re going to have to open up to her.”
“I don’t have to do anything. I make my own rules about my life and you know it.” I pointed my finger at him.
“I know, but maybe now it’s time to let the fucking rules go. Damnit, Sebastian, you’re thirty years old. Are you really going to live the rest of your life like this? Shit, even Maura is worried about you.”
“You can tell Maura that I’m fine.”
“You say you don’t believe in the one, yet you wouldn’t sign a multi-million-dollar deal because of some Venus thing, which, by the way, you got from Chloe. All I’m saying is that you need to let go of the past. You beat it. We beat it. The only reason I’m working for your dumb ass is because someone needs to look after you.”
“You’re working for me because I pay you incredibly well.”
“That too.” He smiled. “Listen, man, you’re happy when she’s around. Why can’t you, for once in your life, accept some happiness? Don’t you think it’s about time?”
I glanced over at him for a moment and then looked straight ahead as I finished my drink.
“She’s good for you.”
“Really? And you know what’s good for me? She’s different and she lives in another world. Do you know that she talks to a homeless man and buys him food? She knows his damn life story.”
“What’s wrong with that? She’s a friendly person who apparently doesn’t judge people. She doesn’t seem to be into materialistic things, so you know right there she wasn’t seeing you for your money.”
“We’re from two different worlds, Eli.”
“You might want to rethink that because it wasn’t that long ago you were pretty much homeless yourself. You’ve only been in “this” world for the past nine years. Maybe it’s you who lives in a different world, not her.”
I clenched my jaw. “I’m done talking about her. It could never work and I would ultimately destroy her. She’d want things from me I could never give. Sure, I could give her all the riches of the world, but deep down, I could never give her what she truly needs or wants.”
Eli sighed as he finished his drink. “Whatever, my friend. You really need to go talk to someone or you really need to get your head out of your ass. You’ve never tried giving anything of yourself to anyone, so you don’t know shit. Let’s go. I’m taking you home.”
****
Chloe
It had been three weeks since I’d heard from Sebastian. I tried my hardest not to think about him, but it was impossible. My feelings for him, even though he was a total douchebag, were strong, and I missed him. I threw myself into my work, attended my mother’s yoga classes at night, and meditated just about every day. I did anything and everything just to keep my mind off of him.
Walking down the street on my way to the grocery store, I stopped when I saw Willie leaning up against the brick of Barnes and Noble.
“Hey, Willie.” I smiled.
“Chloe. Haven’t seen you in a while. Where you been?”
“Around. How are you?”
“Same.” He grinned. He patted the empty space next to him. “Sit down.”
Sitting on the cement, Indian style, I began to play with a small stone that was in front of me.
“What’s wrong? You seem sad. You’re never sad.”
“Tomorrow’s my birthday and I was hoping to celebrate it with someone, but unfortunately, we aren’t seeing each other anymore. Not that we were really seeing each other, I guess. We were having a lot of sex.”
“So then what’s the problem? If you were having a lot of sex, it had to be good.”
I smiled. “It was, but he won’t tell me anything about his past. No matter how hard I try to get him to open up to me, he won’t. He w
ants to know everything about me, yet he refuses to tell me anything about himself.”
“Where did you meet this guy?”
“Now there’s a story.” I grinned. “We met at a hotel bar in London and we had sex. He was my sex with a stranger in a foreign country. We didn’t even know each other’s names. I was planning on sneaking out in the morning before he woke up, but he beat me to it. When I moved back to New York, we saw each other again. I didn’t know he lived here.”
“Wow. That’s some crazy shit. What are the odds?”
“I know, right?” I held the stone tightly in my hand. “We hooked up again and again and I thought maybe we had something. I guess I was wrong. He told me to accept the fact that he was never going to tell me anything about him, and if I didn’t, I could leave. So I did and I haven’t spoken to him since.”
“Wow. He just let you leave and never tried to contact you?”
“Yep. That’s why I’m a little sad right now. But I’ll be okay.”
“If you want my advice, darling, it’s his loss, not yours. You deserve better than that.”
“Thanks, Willie.” I stood up. “I’m heading over to the store. Any requests?”
“No. You’ve done enough for me already.”
“Nah, don’t be silly. I’ll pick you up something good.” I smiled. “I’ll see you later.”
Chapter 24
Sebastian
As I was walking down the street, doing some thinking, I happened to glance across and saw Chloe talking to that homeless man. Not only was she talking, but she was pulling things out of the bag she was carrying and giving them to him. I stood there and watched her. Seeing her made me smile, something I hadn’t done since the last time I saw her. I waited until she walked away and was out of sight before heading across the street. As I approached the homeless man, he looked up at me.
“Hey, I saw that girl that was just here giving you some things. That was very nice of her.”
“Her name is Chloe and she’s a wonderful girl. She has a heart of gold, that one. One of the kindest people I have ever met in my life.”
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out a twenty-dollar bill.
“Here. I’m sure you could use this.”
He looked at me for a moment and then waved his hand at me.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it, but I’m okay.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out another twenty.
“Take it. Believe me when I say I don’t need it. It would make me feel better if you took it and bought yourself some food or something.”
“You’re a kind man. Thank you. What’s your name?”
“Sebastian.” I smiled.
“Nice to meet you, Sebastian. I’m Willie. You married?”
I cocked my head and spoke, “No. I’m not married.”
“You would like Chloe. She’s not married either. Poor girl is suffering from a broken heart. Maybe you’d like to meet her one day.”
“Yeah. Maybe. Have a nice day, Willie.”
“You too, Sebastian. Thanks again.”
I gave him a small smile and walked away. It hurt me to know that I broke Chloe’s heart, but deep down inside, I already knew I had. Fuck. I ran my hand through my hair as I walked down the street and climbed into the limo that was waiting at the corner.
“Did I just see you give that homeless man money?” Eli asked.
“Yeah. That’s Willie. The man Chloe always talks to.”
Eli turned his head and smiled at me but didn’t say a word as he pulled out into traffic and took me home.
****
Chloe
Opening my eyes to the bright sun that was shining through the slits of my blinds, I rolled over and thought of Sebastian. Had we been seeing each other, I would have had morning birthday sex. Instead, I was lying here alone on my birthday, feeling like shit because I missed him so much. As I was feeling sorry for myself, my phone rang. When I picked it up from the nightstand, Sienna and Sam appeared on the screen. Did I mention that he quit his job and wanted to permanently move to New York so he could be close to Sienna? I didn’t know what he’d do if Sienna decided one day she was done playing with him and tossed him out.
“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Chloe. Happy birthday to you!” they both sang.
“Thank you. What a lovely duet.” I smiled.
“How does it feel to be twenty-five?” Sienna asked.
“Great. I feel like a certified adult now. I’m officially a quarter of a century year old.” I smiled.
They both laughed and Sam blew me a kiss.
After ending our call, I made some coffee and hopped in the shower. The big birthday plans for today included a nice dinner with my mom, dad, Sienna, and Sam, and then afterwards, the three of us were heading to a club where Sienna had planned a big birthday party for me with all of our friends.
As I was sitting at the table sipping my coffee, the buzzer rang. Getting up to answer it, I asked who it was.
“I have a flower delivery for a Miss Chloe Kane,” a man with a deep voice spoke.
“I’ll buzz you up.”
Opening the door, I saw a man with a huge bouquet of flowers coming up the steps.
“Oh my gosh. What beautiful flowers,” I spoke as he approached the door.
“Happy birthday, baby.”
When the man lowered the bouquet, I nearly squealed when I saw it was Corey.
“OH MY GOD! What are you doing here?” I placed my hands over my mouth.
“Just thought I’d drop by and wish you a happy birthday.”
“All the way from California?”
“Yeah. All the way from California.” He smiled.
I took the flowers from him and wrapped my arm around his neck.
“I’ve missed you.” I hugged him tightly.
“I’ve missed you too. Cali isn’t the same without you.”
“Come on in.”
Taking the flowers to the kitchen, I filled a vase with water.
“These are so beautiful. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I can’t believe you’re here.” I kissed his lips.
“I’d been planning it for a while. Sienna knew, but I threatened to let secrets spill to that Sam guy she’s seeing if she told you.”
I laughed. “So how long are you here for?”
“My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. I have to get back to work. I thought it was time to see you, and what better day than your birthday?”
Corey and I talked on the phone at least twice a week, so he knew all about Sebastian.
“Still no word from that rich asshole?” he asked.
“No.” I lowered my head.
“You deserve better than him, Chloe.” He placed his thumb on my chin and slightly lifted it so I was looking up at him.
“He can be a wonderful man. If only he’d open up about his past.”
“There’s a reason he isn’t and you need to take that as a universal sign to drop him and run.”
I poured him a cup of coffee and we snuggled on the couch, catching up on everything that had been going on in both our lives.
****
Sebastian
I couldn’t help myself. I needed to see her. Maybe I was ready to tell her that I cared for her and tell her about my past. This gnawing feeling inside me wouldn’t stop until I saw her. Three weeks without her was long enough. I had to make her understand how much I liked her and I needed her to believe that she wasn’t just another girl. She was a girl who I wanted to be with all the time. Not talking to her or seeing her left me empty inside. I knew that now and I came to accept the fact that I had to tell her everything about me. She was worth it and I couldn’t fight my feelings and desire for her any longer.
I had Eli park around the corner and down the street. Climbing out of the limo and turning the corner, I stopped when I saw her and some guy coming out of her building. She was wearing a short pale pi
nk dress with rhinestone spaghetti straps and matching stiletto heels. She was all dressed up and on the arm of another man. Anger, rage, and jealousy grew inside me as they climbed into the cab that was waiting at the curb. Getting back into the limo, I instructed Eli to follow them.
Waiting in the limo until they were inside Space Ibzia’s, I started to climb out when Eli stopped me.
“Sebastian, don’t. Leave her alone. Obviously, she’s out to have fun tonight. You can talk to her tomorrow.”
“NO! I want to know who the fuck that guy is she’s with. She’s mine, Eli, and I’m going to make sure she knows it.”
“Good luck with that. She’s not yours. Just because you fucked her, doesn’t make her your property. If that was the case, you’d own half of New York City, other states, and countries.”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s different and she belongs to me.”
“You mean she belongs with you.”
“Yeah. Whatever. Maybe I won’t say anything to her tonight. I just want to see what she’s doing. That’s all.”
“Then I’m coming with you.”
I stared at him for a moment before agreeing. He parked the limo down the street and I slipped the bouncer a hundred-dollar bill to let us in.
“No need, Mr. Bennett. I know who you are. You two can go on in.”
Giving him a small smile, I placed the bill in his shirt pocket.
Chapter 25
Sebastian
The club was filled with wall-to-wall people. When I paid off two patrons at the bar for their seats, they kindly moved so Eli and I could sit down.
“Two bourbons. Make them doubles,” I yelled to the bartender.
Looking around, I didn’t see Chloe and that guy anywhere. But who the hell could find anyone in this place.
“Keep an eye out for them,” I spoke to Eli.
It had been a little over an hour and still no sign of them. Suddenly, Eli, grabbed my arm and told me that we needed to leave. Glaring at him, I couldn’t help but notice his eyes staring at the dance floor. When I looked to where he was looking, I saw Chloe and that asshole dancing together. Her arms were in the air as she moved her hips back and forth. He was behind her, grinding up against her like some pig. The two of them moved around, back and forth with his hands planted on her hips. The rage that was already inside me intensified as I walked up behind them, grabbed the guy’s arm, and threw a punch at him, sending him into the crowd of people that surrounded them and to the ground.