“Oh my God,” Nicolette gasped as soon as he was out of earshot. Fanning at her face, she gushed, “You’re my new hero, because that… That was awesome.”
“Awesome?” I choked out on an incredulous laugh. “I thought it was awful. I totally didn’t mean to say that. I can’t believe I was so brash and…and…”
“Honest?” the young princess guessed knowingly as she lifted amused eyebrows.
I cleared my throat, a hot flush consuming me. “Yes. I’m sorry. I know he’s your cousin, but—”
“Oh, don’t be sorry,” Nicolette cut in, bumping her shoulder against mine and grinning as if we now shared a great secret. “He creeps me out too. I’d probably hang myself if I was forced into marriage with someone like him.”
Her declaration caused me to straighten and blink at her. “Truly? I’d never even given such an idea thought.”
Nicolette merely shrugged as if she weren’t surprised. “Probably because your willpower is so much stronger than mine.” Her gaze strayed thoughtfully across the room. “But maybe you won’t be stuck with Soren forever.”
I followed her stare to Prince Urban, and a prickle of awareness raced up the back of my neck. Shivering past the sensation, I readjusted Anniston in my arms and shook my head. “Nicolette, you know that won’t happen.”
She sighed out her disappointment. “But it would make such a romantic story, don’t you think?” Tipping her face to the side, she kept staring at the prince with acute sympathy. “He looks sad.”
He did look sad, or rather, lonely might be a more apt description. His features were tense, showing no emotion, but the air around him shimmered with a solitary kind of isolation. When I stared at him long enough that he glanced back as if he could feel my eyes on him, I turned away, smiling tightly at Nicolette.
“We should find a seat we like before Caulder lets the rest of the guests in.”
And, on cue, the king clapped his hands, ordering everyone to their places. Once he was seated at his throne, the main doors were opened to let the masses in. The ceremony began, and Anniston decided she needed to turn fussy. But I was able to calm her by standing to the side of the room and bouncing her in my arms.
When I glanced over, Prince Urban was ignoring the way the friar was wrapping Allera’s and Brentley’s hands together with a cloth and watching me instead. When he caught my gaze, he looked away again, resembling a beaten puppy.
I sighed.
I couldn’t seem to stop feeling bad, as if I were adding to his misery. After hearing Soren so rudely demanding the prince keep his distance from me, the prince had obeyed. Not that I was surprised. He’d never once approached me before the others knew about this love mark nonsense between us, so I wasn’t sure why they were so worried that he might now. Meaning, they didn’t have to be so cruel to him. This was all because of me.
I’d been told to stay clear of him, as well, as if he were extremely dangerous to me. It made something in me ache with pity. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d actually saved my life… Had anyone even thanked him for that? I had a feeling the answer was no, not if they’d ended up beating him for it.
I studied him more intently, wondering if he had healed yet or not.
Then I told myself to stop thinking about him. The man wasn’t my concern. I didn’t believe he could really love me, anyway, not the way Allera had made it sound when she’d come to my room and tried to explain the bond. He knew nothing about me, had only ever seen me from across a room. There was no way he could’ve formed any kind of attachment to me. The idea was just plain ludicrous.
As ludicrous as it was tempting.
Because, honestly, I don’t think anyone had ever placed me first in their entire life, had thought of my wishes or loved me above all others. To even imagine that someone might—especially the handsome stranger from High Cliff—well, it called out to my wishful, romantic side. And it made me infinitely curious about him.
But I didn’t dare go anywhere near him. It would no doubt get him into terrible trouble, and I’d already gotten him into enough of that. Besides, I had a husband… And a baby. Anniston was my concern, not him. I needed to stop thinking about romance and silly one true loves.
These dreams I’d been having were just getting to me; that was all.
And yet despite all that, I kept thinking about him and wondering… What if?
Chapter 21
Vienne
The wedding proceeded without a hitch, two kingdoms became allies, and the royal celebration began afterward in the dining hall.
Anniston fell asleep in my arms, so I reluctantly let a maid take her up to her room. Except once she was gone, I felt empty without her. What was worse, Nicolette abandoned me when Soren’s older children appeared, begging her to play with them. Soren stood across the room, hovering around Caulder as a cluster of council members circled them, and Yasmin held her own court with a group of dignified ladies. Meanwhile, Brentley led his new bride around the room, showing her off to whoever seemed willing to accept an introduction, while his new brother-in-law remained a step behind them, like a silent, overprotective bodyguard.
I started having those thoughts again, those thoughts about how lonely he looked in a crowded room, but this time, I empathized. Everyone I was comfortable with and usually talked to was busy; the same went for him. If I didn’t think it would cause a huge controversy, I probably would’ve gone over and spoken to him for the first time, simply so we’d each have some companionship, but that seemed unwise now, considering, so I let out a deflated sigh and simply people-watched until I noticed Prince Urban departing the room through a side exit.
Frowning, I stared after him, wondering where he was going. Surely, he wasn’t already retiring for the day. The sun hadn’t even fallen yet.
I’m not sure what exactly prompted me into rising from my seat to follow, but I could only blame a great curiosity that overcame me. I wasn’t even that curious about where he was going as much as I was about who he was and what he was like.
When I entered the side corridor, he was gone, but I could hear the distinct echo of fading footsteps. Hoping I was being stealthy enough, I followed, simply wanting to know a bit more about him.
The man cut a winding path through the servants’ halls, twisting this way and that, once backtracking through a corridor he’d already traipsed. I shook my head, wondering where the heck he was going, almost certain he was lost, until suddenly, the footsteps stopped. It was too late to realize that though as I’d just turned a corner, and there he was, leaning negligently against the wall under a lighted sconce with one boot crossed in front of the other and his hands resting lightly together on the end of his sword hilt.
A yelp escaped as I screeched to a halt in front of him.
Rearing back, I gasped, because... Oh Lord. He was right there. Like… Right. There.
Goodness, had he always been so tall? And strapping? It was hard to tell as I’d never been quite this close to him before. We were face-to-face as I looked up into a sea of blue, blue eyes.
Remembering the dream I’d had the night before of meeting him alone in a hallway way too similar to this one, with his hands under my skirt, his body pumping into mine, his mouth kissing me, I swallowed dryly.
A hot flash of mortification prickled my skin.
In unison, we shied backward away from each other, neither of us expecting to get quite so close to the other and both of us leery of such proximity.
Drawing in a sharp, rattled breath, I pressed my hand to my chest. “Oh,” was the brilliant word I chose to speak.
Likewise, his eyes were wide with alarm, and I swear he was holding his breath, until suddenly, he frowned. “Wait. You’re not afraid of me, are you?”
I had been frightened, but strangely, not of him, even though Soren, Yasmin, and even sometimes Caulder almost made it sound as if Prince Urban would force me to his will, or rape me, or some awful fate if I were ever caught alone with him. I’d just never got
ten that sense from him myself. So I wasn’t worried about that. No, I was scared to death of being separated from my baby forever while this innocent man was executed just because we were both standing here together… Alone.
Except, for some reason, his worried inquiry relieved me. I rattled out a small laugh and shook my head. “That’s funny. I was going to ask you the very same question.” Because he looked distinctly intimidated by my presence. Maybe he’d heard the rumor that he’d lose his head too if we were ever discovered in a compromising position.
He didn’t share my smile. Slanting his head to the side, he seemed to give my words thought before he admitted, “I’ll be honest. I’m scared shitless right now.”
I gave another laugh. He was much more personable than I thought he’d be. That was unexpected. Pleasantly so. Some of my embarrassment dimmed. But then I sobered and said, “Because of my husband?”
He crinkled the features in his face with disgust, muttering, “What? No!” Then just as quickly he flashed a smile that had my heartbeat pumping faster. Pressing an impassioned hand to his chest, he said, “I’m sure this isn’t manly to admit, but I’m most afraid you won’t like me. It would quite wound my tender feelings to the core if you didn’t.”
I snorted out an incredulous laugh. “Your tender feelings, you say?”
He nodded heartily. “Yes. So tender. They’re like veal.”
Shaking my head and smiling over his joke, I set my hand on my hip and countered, “Well, what if you don’t like me?”
The man blinked. Once. Twice. Then he frowned as if confused by the question before saying, “That… That’s not even possible. It’s pretty much a given I’ll cherish everything about you.”
“Oh?” I asked. “Because of the mark?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
I sighed. “So, everything everyone’s been telling me is really true, then? All the one-true-love, love-mark, soul mate, bonding stuff, and you bringing me back from the dead? It really, honestly happened? I’m truthfully your—”
“You are,” he murmured with another decisive nod. Then he arched an eyebrow. “Is that why you were following me? You wished for proof of our bond?”
“I…” With no idea what to say since I hadn’t been planning on actually engaging with him, I just stared at him stupidly. “No. Of course not. I wasn’t even following you. We just accidentally ran into each…”
My lie trailed off when his lips quirked with a knowing grin, making the muscles coil tight in my stomach. He took a step closer, and my throat closed over with dread… Excitement? I wasn’t sure which emotion it was, but it froze me in place as he leaned in to murmur next to my ear.
“I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, my lady.” He shifted even closer until I could feel his breath on my cheek. “But the mark lets me know whenever you’re near.”
I shivered and jerked a step back, scowling at him for unsettling me so physically with his mere presence. I knew I should leave. This man could only cause me problems. I could only cause him problems. But the curiosity and fascination in me was too strong. I had to know more about him, about this connection he swore we had.
Suddenly, his words took root in my brain. “Wait. What do you mean, the mark lets you know when I’m near?”
What an alarming prospect. I wasn’t sure if I liked it.
“I feel you,” he said as he tapped the side of his eye directly over his tattoo while an engaging smile lit his face. “Right here. The closer you get, the more insistently it tingles.”
I blinked at him, trying to understand, needing to know why he’d targeted me for his silly mark-bonding claim. “Like… How?” I asked. “It gives you a headache?”
“No.” He looked thoughtful for a moment as if not sure how to describe it. Then he focused brilliant blue eyes on me. “There’s no pain. Not even close, so it’s definitely not a headache. It’s quite the opposite, I’d say. Like a head…rush, maybe.”
“You get dizzy?”
When he laughed, I felt like a fool. My cheeks heated with embarrassment and I took a step back, prepared to leave. But Prince Urban surged forward, lifting his hands. “No, no. I’m sorry. Don’t go. I’m not laughing at you, I swear. It’s just your curiosity and determination to understand…” When he shook his head, grinning broadly, I scowled.
“What about it?”
“It’s adorable,” he murmured. “And refreshing. I like that you want to know, that you want to understand.”
The yearning, seeking quality in his gaze told me he wanted something from me. Something I could never give.
Realizing I could only ever lead him on and offer him false hope if I continued to stand here, I started to turn away.
“I don’t get dizzy.”
He rushed the words as if he hoped they would waylay me. And his plan must’ve worked, because I paused, glancing back at him, unable to help myself.
“I’ll try to explain it the best I can,” he said, nodding as if encouraging me to stay and listen.
Then he glanced away and blew out a breath as he wiped a hand over his mouth. When he returned his attention to me, I could tell from his expression that he was nervous. He wanted to impress me. The idea was so uncanny and flattering that I remained, waiting for him to speak.
“Okay,” I promised. “I’ll listen.”
With a grateful nod, he started. “I grew up fascinated with warriors and soldiers,” he said. “All the great swordsmen and champions of the past. So when I finally fought in my first battle and my father was forced to honor and recognize me in front of his people for my victory, I remember experiencing this overwhelming gust of joy as he drew his sword that day to honor me. I knew something amazing was coming. This sense of wonder and…and anticipation and exuberance crammed itself into every pore I had. It was everything I’d ever dreamed I wanted finally coming true. I swear, that moment before the edge of his blade touched my shoulder was more of a high than when it actually happened. And that’s the only way I know how to explain it when you are near. It’s like the most wonderful, searing anticipation.”
My lips parted as I gazed at him. It was bizarre to think I could do that for anyone, but to do it for this man—this tall, handsome, intense yet personable man—it was more than I could process.
“And I’ve felt it since the moment I left the ballroom,” he went on, watching me closely. “I even changed course to make sure of it.” Eyes glittering with smug awareness, he took me in from head to toe. “You’ve definitely been following me for a good five minutes.”
“I… I…” Feeling caught and exposed, I cleared my throat and glanced away, trying to ignore the fact I was blushing like crazy. “I… Yes, well... Okay, fine! I did follow you.” Cringing as if preparing for the reprimand that would surely follow, I slid my gaze back to him. “I’m sorry.”
But he only laughed. “Sorry? For what? I certainly didn’t mind it.”
“But I shouldn’t have,” I insisted.
He shook his head. “Why not?”
“Because…” I gaped at him as if he’d lost his mind. “They told me to stay away from you. They told you to stay away from me. I even asked your sister to make sure you did.”
Still amused, he leaned his back against the wall, his eyes alight with laughter as he continued to watch me. It was frankly unsettling how intense his attention on me was. Not disturbing, just unnaturally powerful.
“Yes. I received all the messages.” He shrugged and glanced away. “Not that I care what the others commanded.”
“And yet, so far, you’ve followed their edict to the letter,” I murmured, tilting my head in curiosity as I studied him.
“Not theirs,” he murmured, returning his attention to me. “Yours.”
My heart thumped hard in my chest. He’d been respecting my request, and my request alone. I once again felt the need to explain myself to him, and this might likely be my only chance.
“I… It seemed like the path of least resistance,??
? I offered, biting my lip on an apologetic cringe. “Better for all involved. For you, especially. Soren’s already making your life miserable. It could only be worse if you didn’t keep your distance from me. So, I apologize again. I shouldn’t have followed you just now. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just…”
When I floundered for a word, he quietly finished the sentence for me. “Curious?”
With a sigh, I nodded
And he nodded as well. “As am I.”
“You are?” Shocked to the bone, I blinked at him.
His grin was immediate. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? This thing on the side of my head keeps telling me I should hold you in more esteem than I’ve ever held anyone. Why wouldn’t I want to know why? Why wouldn’t I… God, you have no idea.”
With a hard laugh, he shook his head. “I want to know everything there is to know about you. I want to know why you make me hot and needy whenever you’re near. I want to know why you—a complete stranger—fill me with a loyalty and respect I’ve not felt before. I want to know how you make me think about you constantly and ache for your mere presence. I want to know why I’m so willing to die for you if need be, why I’d cut off my hand rather than hurt you, or my tongue before I spoke a single harsh word against you. I want to know why I now see your enemies as my enemies and your home as my home. All my allegiances are firmly placed at your feet. Of course, I’m curious to learn everything there is to learn about you.”
His words sent me reeling. I blew out a breath, overwhelmed by such…unwavering commitment, and yet still utterly confused by all this.
“So…” I shook my head. “So you have no control over these feelings at all?”
“None whatsoever.” With a grin, he shrugged quite playfully, as if it were no big deal.