Read Only Human Page 7


  —Does your…

  —Vincent, we don’t need to talk about the toilet…

  —Yeah, but my…

  —I know. I know. Can you ask him about all the empty houses next time you see him?

  —Sure. But seriously, Rose, what do you care if we’re going home?

  —I’m curious.

  —And? Come on, I know when you have something on your mind.

  —I…

  —What? You can say it.

  —I don’t think we’re going home.

  —Oh, we’re going, Rose. I don’t care if you want to stay. We’re going home.

  —I didn’t say I don’t want to go home. I just don’t think they’re sending us back.

  —But if they are, you’d like to stay awhile before we go, is that it?

  —Is that so bad? We’re on another planet, Vincent. Another planet!

  —Well, I’m sorry, but I really hope you don’t get your wish.

  —I understand. But imagine for a minute that we’re staying here, for a while. Don’t you wanna make the best of it?

  —Rose, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I want to be absolutely clear. I don’t care what happens to me, to Eugene…to you. I don’t care if we live or die. I’m sorry for the way that sounds…I’m getting my daughter home.

  —I know you want to keep her safe.

  —I’m not just keeping her safe, I’m getting her back to Earth.

  —She could be happy here, you know.

  —You mean you.

  —I’m surprised, Vincent. I thought the scientist in you would be more excited. We’re the first humans to set foot on another world. This is a…Once in a lifetime doesn’t even begin to describe this. This is a truly unique opportunity. We can learn so much from these people, use the time we have to understand how their society works.

  —What’s the point if we can’t tell anyone?

  —Do you really mean that, Vincent? That doesn’t sound like you at all.

  —Maybe I’m getting old.

  —Vincent, we’re the same age.

  —We are, aren’t we? I keep thinking you’re older than me because…well, because you were older than me before. You’re right, though. I should be all over this. But I’m not.

  —You should try to—

  —I’ve never bought her clothes.

  —What?

  —Eva. I’ve never bought her clothes. I’ve never bought her a toy, a stick of gum. I never took her out for pancakes on Sunday, haven’t helped her with homework.

  —Those are all things you haven’t done. Are you sure this is about her?

  —Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m being selfish. I want her to have…I want to give her some semblance of normalcy. I want that to be my gift to her. I think she deserves it. Besides, you’re talking about staying here as if it were just another option, like moving to France or something. It’s not. She won’t be going to the prom with a bunch of her alien girlfriends. It’s not safe here, Rose. It’s not safe for us, and it’s not safe for her. You’re like a volcanologist staring down the crater of an active volcano. It’s cool and all, but I’m not raising my daughter on the edge of it just to satisfy your scientific curiosity.

  FILE NO. EE027—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT

  Personal Journal Entry—Dr. Rose Franklin

  Location: Assigned residence, Etyakt region

  I think I just tried to pet a rat. I was playing with the sand on the pathway outside the house I’m staying in. I thought it was ground volcanic rock—I guess it could be—but there’s a lot of metal in it. It’s insanely heavy, it won’t move at all when I blow on it. This…thing, about the size of my hand came out of nowhere. A red fuzzy fur ball. Something like a large hamster, but red. And I mean red. When I was a kid, my favorite crayon was called Torch Red. That red. The little thing didn’t have a tail, you could barely see its eyes. Just a red ball zipping across the path. It stopped dead in its tracks when it saw me. I tried calling it, slowly moved my hand towards it. That’s when a…security person showed up. She screamed, at me or the animal, I’ll never know. She said something else while she whooshed away my little friend. The whooshing part I understood. Red ball certainly got the message. I don’t think I was in any danger, but the guard looked at me like my mother did if I ate an earthworm on a dare, or chewed on a piece of gum I’d found on the car’s floor. I take it red ball isn’t the most beloved animal on this world.

  In many ways, this place is a lot like Earth. Gravity is roughly the same. There’s just no way to measure that with what we have. Atmosphere is obviously similar to ours, but the air feels a bit thicker. Atmospheric pressure might be a bit higher. That, or the air is just drier. It also smells different. The air is…sweet. Sugary.

  Vincent said Enatast told him we didn’t need to worry about diseases. I wonder why. I don’t want their entire species gone because of something like a cold sore. I guess the people doing the space travel probably know more about the dangers of space travel than I do. We didn’t understand a lot of what was going on when we first arrived, but I assume some of what they did was meant to prevent the cold-sore apocalypse. Hopefully, we won’t die of alien gum disease either.

  I know there are more important things to worry about, like dying, but I can’t stop thinking about that little red ball. I wonder if it’s considered a pest for practical reasons—maybe it eats crops, or carries diseases—or if it’s just cultural. Maybe red ball is mean as hell and would have ripped my finger off, but it seemed kind of friendly. It’s completely stupid and crazy—and I won’t do it, I swear I won’t do it—but part of me really wants to try and tame one, bring it inside the house. I have a feeling this is the kind of thing four-year-olds get scolded for around here.

  We might as well be four years old. We’re children here. Ignorant and naïve beyond belief. We’re in awe at the simplest and most insignificant things, playfully swimming in the unknown, gobbling information faster than we can process it. I am, anyway. Everything is science. Everything is discovery. Needless to say, I’m happy.

  I wish Vincent and Eugene were that happy. All they can talk about is going home. I understand. Or I want to understand. Eugene is suspicious of everything and everyone. He doesn’t trust a word out of Enatast’s mouth. I don’t think he ever will. Vincent just wants to keep his daughter safe. That part I really get. I just wish…I wish they’d make the best of whatever time we have here. We all see the same things, but I wish they could see them as I do. I feel like I’m enjoying a movie no one else in the room is paying attention to. It’s a selfish feeling. I really just want someone to share the wonder with.

  I don’t know how long we have, but I don’t want this to end. I’m so curious about everything, I can’t sit still. I’m not the only one who’s curious. We all stick out like sore thumbs here. Vincent and I, especially. We’re both freakishly pink. We’re also the only ones I’ve seen with long hair. Either theirs doesn’t grow long or they keep it short on purpose. I see more people walking in our neighborhood every day, no doubt hoping they’ll “accidentally” bump into us. I help with that as much as I can. I love the look on people’s faces.

  I should get ready. We’re going to the market today.

  FILE NO. 2116 (CONTINUED)

  INTERVIEW BETWEEN MAJOR KATHERINE LEBEDEV, RUSSIAN MAIN INTELLIGENCE AGENCY (GRU), AND VINCENT COUTURE

  Location: GRU building, Saint Petersburg, Russia

  —Look, Katherine. I can talk to you about what the weather was like, what we ate for breakfast, but I don’t think you’re that curious about it. What do you really wanna know?

  —The same thing everyone wants to know, Vincent. I want to know if they’re coming back!

  —They’re not! I told you already. How many times do you want me to say it? The Ekt aren’t coming back here. I really, honestl
y—cross my heart and hope to die—don’t think they are. The whole Earth debacle is a huge deal for them. They’ll talk about it forever, but there’s no way they’ll ever agree on anything. It’s all about interference. Everything is. Coming here to remove the alien descendants is definitely interfering, but they agreed to it thinking it would only affect a few people, and it was better than having our entire species “infected” with their genetics. Realizing that’s exactly what had happened was really bad. Killing millions of us while figuring this out is also bad, not so much because people died but because that’s even more interference. It’s like trying to wipe an oil stain off your shirt, only to realize your hands are dirty and you’re smearing more shit all over. They can’t fix this. They won’t do anything.

  —I wish I could believe that.

  —Well, that’s your choice, now, isn’t it? But stop asking the question if you don’t care about the answer.

  —It’s just hard to believe, Vincent. You said they came here to find a few people. They left when we all started dying, but they still haven’t found those people. They’re still here. Won’t they want to come back and finish the job?

  —I’m telling you, they don’t want a war with us. They told us in so many words. They were Ekt words, so there might have been fewer.

  —They did?

  —Tell us? Yes! General Govender was there. He made peace with their government.

  —Officially?

  —What does that even mean? Yes. Officially. He met with them, in an official manner. It was all…very official.

  FILE NO. EE028—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT

  Interview between Eugene Govender and Opt Enatast

  Location: Assigned residence, Etyakt region

  Translated by Vincent Couture

  —Sit down, Couture. You’re making me nervous. What does he want with me?

  [He said: “Take me to your leader.” I’m only half kidding, that’s sort of what he said. He wants to talk to the boss. I explained to him what a general was, and he said he wanted to meet you.]

  What’s his name again?

  [Opt Enatast.]

  Do I call him Opt? Mister Opt?

  [No. Either the whole thing or just Enatast. Or you don’t call him anything.]

  I have to call him something.

  [How often do you use someone’s name when you talk to them? But whatever, call him Enatast. That’s what I do. I don’t think it’s rude, but even if it were, he had to teach me how to use the toilet, I’m sure he’ll cut us some slack on etiquette.]

  And you’ll translate everything back and forth.

  [He might understand you if you keep it simple. If not, I’ll do my best, but you still need to keep it simple.]

  Goddammit!

  [Here he is. Eyyetist, Enatast. Eyet General Eugene Govender.]

  —Eyyetist, Vincent. Eyipot otot eps, Yeneyay.

  —What’d he say?

  [I don’t know. Something polite.]

  Did he call me Yeneyay?

  [Yes. He called you general. Just shake his hand, will you? I showed him how that works.]

  It’s an honor to meet you, Opt Enatast.

  —Eyitokt aktept otok apats Akitast—

  [Whoa. Stop! Slowly. Ansyets. Ansyets.]

  Eyitokt…aktept…otok apats Akitast.

  [Speak like Great Council of Akitast. I speak for the Council, on behalf of, something like that.]

  Ast eyapetent ekukt eteyans.

  [I apologize, or I’m sorry for the death of the Terrans, humans.]

  …

  [You have to say something now, General.]

  —Ask him why they attacked us.

  [How about you apologize for their four pilots first?]

  A hundred million to four. We’re not exactly even. Ask him.

  [Ekt eyepsats iset akt.]

  —Eyekant ops. Aks eyepsats apepoks Ekt. Ast eyapetent.

  [We didn’t. We attacked Ekt criminals. I’m sorry.]

  —That’s it? A hundred million dead, and he’s sorry?

  [Look, General, he’s not the one who sent those robots. I’m sure he’d have a lot more to say if his interpreter didn’t have the vocabulary of a three-year-old. Just take the man at his word, will you?]

  Ask him if he knows how many of us they killed.

  [No, I won’t. Even if I could, I’m not asking him that.]

  Fine. Tell him…Tell him we don’t want a war.

  [Aks eyapat ops…]

  Vincent?

  [EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. BOOM! TATATATATA! AAARGH!]

  What the hell are you doing?

  [I’m miming a war. I told you to keep it simple.]

  —Oyokyets!

  [Maybe?]

  Aks anyoks eyapat ops oyokyets.

  [We don’t want a war either. There!]

  —Tell him I don’t speak for our entire planet. Tell him no one does. Tell him it won’t be easy to convince the people on Earth that they don’t mean us any harm, not after what they’ve done. It might take a few generations before we’re able to start a relationship with a clean slate. Tell him I’ll do my best to explain to our leaders that this was…Goddammit, how do you tell someone one hundred million dead was an accident? It wouldn’t hurt if they took some responsibility. This five-year-old thing: It was an accident. I don’t think it’s gonna sit too well with anyone who’s had their biggest city turned into a mass grave. Are you sure he can’t understand me? YOU! I’M TALKING TO YOU! Did you hear what I just said?

  [Aks eyyots Eteyat anesk akt.]

  What did you tell him?

  —Eyakosk. Eyapetent Yincent.

  [Eyesunt.]

  —Why is he leaving? Dammit, Couture! What did you tell him?

  [It’s OK, sir.]

  Whatever you said, it was suspiciously shorter than what I told you to tell him.

  [There was no point, sir. Like you said, you can’t speak for everyone on Earth. He knows that. He can’t speak for his people either. This was just for show.]

  Why?

  [If I had to guess, I’d say he wanted to make us feel better about staying here.]

  What the hell are you talking about?

  [You wanna know what I told him? I asked when we were leaving.]

  That’s it?

  [Well, yeah. What else matters at this point?]

  And?

  [He said it’s complicated.]

  What the hell does that mean?

  [I think it means we’re gonna be here awhile.]

  Are you OK with that?

  [Like I told Rose, I don’t really care what happens to me, but I don’t want my daughter to grow up here. We need to get her home.]

  Then I suggest you start making friends.

  [Was any part of “We need to get her home” unclear? I don’t want to make friends. I don’t want to be here long enough to make friends. What we need is a plan.]

  No. What we need now are friends. I wanted a plan, but Rose shut me down faster than a rocketful of monkeys.

  [Don’t pay attention to her. She likes it here. She’s—]

  She’s right! Trying to come up with a plan is just stupid. We don’t know anything. We don’t know how we got here. We don’t know how to get back. What are we gonna plan for? What we need is someone who knows how to get us off this goddamn rock, so I suggest you get out there and start making friends. Lots of them. We need friends in the government, friends that hate the government. We need friends, Couture.

  FILE NO. EE031—PERSONAL FILE FROM ESAT EKT

  Interview between Vincent Couture and Esok

  Location: Aptakt Market, Etyakt region

  Translated by Vincent Couture

 
—What is your name?

  —You forgot already? You asked a minute ago (at a time four moments in the past).

  —I know I did. It’s for a…I don’t know how to say “recording.”

  —I’m Esok.

  —Just Esok?

  —Do you see anyone else?

  —No. Thank you, Esok. Can you tell me what this place is?

  —Here? This is the Aptakt Market. It’s the largest one in the Etyakt region. People come here to buy food and things.

  —We get our food on that street in another market.

  —Yes. Yes. Etyakt dispensary. Government.

  —The food over there is a lot better. There’s more too.

  —Much better.

  —OK, so what’s the difference?

  —There the food is free. Here you have to pay.

  —Then why do people come here?

  —Here is where the market is.

  —I…I don’t understand.

  —Yes. Yes.

  —No, I meant—

  —What is your world like?

  —My world? It’s…Parts of it are like here. We have trees, like here. Other parts are much colder…We have—I don’t know how to say ocean—lots of water, large things of water.

  —Yes. Yes. Here too. Is everyone like you?

  —Like me? What does that mean?

  —You have hair on your face, and on your arms.

  —A little bit of hair on our arms, yes.

  —Lots of hair. Does everyone have arms?

  —Yes, we have arms…and legs.

  —No one lives in water?

  —Yes. Animals do.

  —What is an-im-al?

  —Hmmm…A living thing? Something that eats, and sees, and moves.

  —Like you.

  —Yes, but different…less intelligent.

  —Some people are less intelligent.

  —How do you say self-aware? (I said me conscious of me. Blank stare…) Humans—I’m a human—are conscious of their own feelings, of what they think, what they do.