I was outside the hospital having what seemed like my fifteenth cigarette in two hours when Jay came out to find me.
I had been thinking about Ev and praying that she was going to be alright. Ev and I went back a long way. I remembered my first day on the job at TechniGroup and how Ev had helped me out of one of my most embarrassing moments. I had been working as a temp secretary and got a call from the agency that they needed someone at TechniGroup. I started on the 2nd of January and it was one of those days in Toronto that feels like spring but you know it can’t last. The snow that had been dumped in record amounts in December was turning to slush because of the mild temperatures. I had taken the streetcar to work, and when I got off at my stop, my feet went out from under me on the second step, and I landed on my ass in the slush on the side of the road. I wasn’t hurt but my clothes were soaked through. The black slacks I was wearing started turning white from the salt on the roads. I arrived at the office and explained how embarrassed I was to Evelyn, who was the receptionist at the time.
She led me into the kitchen off the reception area and started applying dry-cleaning fluid to the back of my pants. While they were on. I was bent over the counter and Ev was wiping away at the back of my slacks when the former owner of the company walked in. Personally, I saw the humour in the situation and Ev certainly did. He quickly got his coffee and made a fast retreat. Ev and I laughed so hard I thought we were going to pee our pants.
We became fast friends on that first day and she became like a second mother to me. I have been with the company now almost seven years, certainly longer than all of the current executives.
Five years ago, the original founder of the company died. As founder of the company he had maintained a majority interest in the company and the rest of the shares were held by the public. His majority shares were pledged as security for most the debt of the company, so when he died the consortium of banks that had loaned him the money called in their loans. They ended up owning the majority share of a $600 million, publicly-traded high tech consulting firm that they knew nothing about. One would think they’d know something about high tech consulting if they lent the company that much money, but bankers are just as stupid as the rest of us.
The bankers’ first order of business as majority shareholder was to hire a new Chairman and Chief Executive Officer. In their infinite wisdom, they went to the Board of Directors of our company, who formed a search committee to find a new chief executive officer. It took them four months but the committee found us a CEO. CEO, Christopher Earl Oakes. The guy wears monogrammed shirts with his initials CEO on the pocket. His lifelong dream was to be a chief executive officer so he could live up to his initials. What great heights we aspire to.
Chris had been an executive vice-president of the company that was our major competitor and he was the perfect example of why one should always check references before hiring someone. My sources told me that the senior management of the company that we hired Chris from had "remoted" Chris. Not promoted. Not demoted. Remoted. They had put him aside and were doing their best to ignore him and we saved the day when we recruited him. Chris was an executive vice-president in charge of nothing at the time we hired him. He had no staff reporting to him, no clients, no budget. Word on the street was that Oakes’ former employers had the biggest going away party in the history of their company when Chris left. And Chris wasn’t invited.
Our Board members who were given the responsibility of finding a new chief executive officer actually believed they were stealing a star performer, just because he worked for the competition.
His one crowning glory in the four years he has been our peerless leader was to increase the share price to a high of $16 from $6 when he joined the company. That price was very short-lived though, and the shares are now trading at about $11. The company’s current bottom line certainly didn’t justify the price of the shares, but many shareholders out there are betting on Chris Oakes turning the company around.
Chris' first order of business when he joined was to fire all of the top management of the company and hire his hand-picked replacements. Our executive payroll tripled. So far, the shareholders haven’t lynched him. I think shareholders are just as stupid as bankers.
My wandering thoughts were interrupted.
"Kate," I heard Jay say behind me. I turned around and knew by the look on his face that the news wasn’t good. He took a step towards me and said softly, "She’s gone."
I turned around and threw-up in the stone column ashtray that progressive organizations place outside their places of business for us social pariahs, smokers. Normally, it could hold a cup of sand and ten butts. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
Jay placed his arm around my shoulders as I was heaving into the ashtray.
"Fuck off. Leave me alone," I spluttered.
He backed off. Jay knows what’s good for him. I fumbled in my purse for a Kleenex and found one that had been used about three times. Not very effective for wiping off the chin in the circumstances, but it did the trick. I took a few deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Or was it the other way around?
I turned back and looked at Jay. He was standing on the other side of the entranceway. When he left me alone, he really left me alone.
I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I wanted to scream. No one close to me had ever died. I headed towards the parking lot at a fast clip and Jay came running behind me.
"Hey."
I kept going, digging in my coat pockets for my car keys.
"Hey. Monahan. Kate. Jesus Christ, Kate, wait up."
I stopped.
I knew I was going to start to cry and that wasn’t allowed in front of other people. The only time I cried was when the heroine of one my favourite novels lost her true love in a ship wreck.
I sniffed a few times to try and clear the lump in my throat and knew it wasn’t going to work. The tears started streaming down my face and I tried to cry quietly. Like when you’re at a movie with a girlfriend and you don’t want to let on you’re crying and you’re wiping your eyes with salted fingers from the popcorn. You do it quietly. Your girlfriend’s probably crying as much as you, but women of the new millennium have to be tough.
Jay caught up to me but I ignored him as I continued on to the car. I fumbled with the lock. It was stuck again. Cheap piece of shit. I kicked the car door.
Jay took the keys from my hand and opened the door.
"You drive," I sniffed and headed around the car to the passenger side. When I reached the back of the car it hit me like I had been slammed into the boards by Bobby Orr. Evelyn was dead. I started gasping for air, sobbing. I held on to the back of the car and cried. Fuck the new millennium, I thought.
Jay stepped to the back of the car and took me by the shoulders. He knew he was invading my personal space but he was a brave sort. He leaned over and put his arms around me and hugged me tight.
Jay patted my back, patted my hair, patted my shoulder. He just didn’t know what to do. Under normal circumstances he’s the Rock of Gibraltar to most women, but in all the years Jay had known me, he had never seen me cry. When I finally dried up, I asked him if he had a tissue. He dug a clean one out of his pocket and held it up. I blew my nose and hiccupped a few times.
Jay tried to ease himself in the driver’s seat and got stuck with his rear in the seat and only one leg in. I had to lean over and reach the lever under the driver’s seat to push it back. I’m so short they tease me at the garage that they’re going to have to put blocks on the pedals so my feet can reach. Jay finally got the seat pushed back far enough so he could fit in and disgustedly reached behind his back and tossed the two pillows I use for extra height into the back seat.
"Isn’t there a height restriction for getting a driver’s license?" he teased. I smiled weakly.
"Where to?" he asked as he started the engine.
> "Ev’s place. I want to see if Danny’s home yet. He hasn’t answered the phone and I’ve left about ten messages. Someone has to let the family know. I told the doctors that I’d look after contacting her kids."
Jay put the car into gear and headed out of the parking lot. It had been a long day, a long week, Jesus Christ, it had been a long month. I knew it was going to be a long night.