The second servant, however, was not only not “saved.” She could not even be classified as “questing.” She was an Anglican who was in the household from charity, having been deserted by her navvy husband and been denied Poor Relief by two parishes, each of whom claimed she was the other’s responsibility. And it was she—freckled-faced Fanny Drabble—who was behind this Christmas pudding. She had white bony hands and bright red knuckles and had lived a hard life in sod huts and shanties beside the railway lines the brawling navvies helped to build. Her baby had died. The only clothes she had was a thin cotton dress. A tooth fell out of her mouth on her first morning. But she was outraged to discover that Oscar had never known the taste of Christmas pudding. Mrs Williams—although she should have known better—found herself swept along on the tea-sweet wave of Fanny Drabble’s moral indignation. The young’un must know the taste of Christmas pudding, and what the master don’t know won’t hurt him.
Fanny Drabble did not know that this pudding was the “flesh of which idols eat.”
It was only a small cottage, but it was built from thick blocks of Devon limestone. You could feel the cold limey smell of the stone at the back of your nostrils, even when you were sitting by the fire. If you were in the kitchen, you could not hear a word that was said in the tiny dining room next door. It was a cramped house, with low doorways, and awkward tripping ledges and steps between the rooms, but it was, in spite of this, a good house for secrets. And because Theophilus did not enter the kitchen (perhaps because Mrs Williams also slept there on a bench beside the stove) they could have manufactured graven images there and not been caught.
But Oscar liked the kitchen. He liked the dry floury warmth and he carried the water, and riddled the grate, and sat on the table when Mrs Williams scrubbed the cobblestones. He soon realized what was going on. He saw cherries and raisins. They did not normally have raisins. He had never seen a cherry. On Christmas Day it was expected they would have a meal like any other.
Theophilus had called Mrs Williams up to his study. As this study was also Oscar’s schoolroom, he heard the instructions himself. His father was quite specific. It was his character to be specific. He paid attention to the tiniest detail of any venture he was associated with. When he drew an anemone you could be certain that he did not miss a whisker on a tentacle. The potatoes, he said, were to be of “fair to average size.” There would be a half a head of King George cabbage, and so on.
But within the kitchen the treasonous women were kneading suet, measuring raisins and sultanas, peeling a single precious orange. Oscar set by the bellows and puffed on them until the kettle sang so loud you could hardly hear the hymn that Fanny Drabble hummed. Mrs Williams went running up the stairs like a dervish whose activity is intended to confuse and distract. She made a screen of dust, a flurry of rags. She brushed her hair on the front step looking out through the dripping grey branches, over the rust-brown bracken, to the cold grey sea. She walked around the house, past the well, and put the hair on the compost heap. Oscar knew that Mrs Williams’s hair did not rot. He had poked around with a long stick and found it. It had been slimy at first but you could wash it under the tap and it would turn out, with all the slime washed off, to be good as new. This was exactly how Mrs Williams had told him it would be. He was surprised that she was right. His father did not value Mrs Williams’s beliefs. She was not scientific. She said there were men who robbed graves just to steal the hair of the dead. They sold it to hair merchants who washed it and sorted it and sold it for wigs, and curls and plaits. This hair still had bulbs at the end of each strand, “churchyard hair” was what it was called. Mrs Williams lived in a state of constant anxiety about her hair. There were, she insisted, perhaps not in Hennacombe, but in Teignmouth and Newton Abbot, “spring-heeled Jacks” with sharp razors ready to steal a living woman’s hair right off her head. She brushed her hair on the stairway and the upstairs study. At each place she collected the hair from her brush, made a circle with it, knotted it and put it in her apron pocket. On the day they made the Christmas pudding she did this even more than usual. Theophilus, being a naturalist, may have noticed. Oscar certainly did.
Oscar was not told about the Christmas pudding, but he knew. He did not let himself know that he knew. Yet the knowledge thrust deep into his consciousness. It was a shaft of sunlight in a curtained room. Dust danced in the turbulent air. Nothing would stay still. When Oscar ate his lunch on Christmas Day, his legs ached with excitement. He crossed his ankles and clenched his hands tight around his knife and fork. He strained his ear towards the open kitchen door, but there was nothing to hear except his father breathing through his nose while he ate.
Oscar had a little wooden tray, divided into small compartments. It was intended to house beetles, or shells. Oscar kept buttons in it. They were his mother’s buttons, although no one told him it was so. They were not his father’s buttons. There were small round ones like ladybirds with single brass loops instead of legs. Others were made of glass. There were metal buttons with four holes and mother-of-pearl with two. He drilled these buttons as other boys might drill soldiers. He lined them up. He ordered them. He numbered them. There were five hundred and sixty. Sometimes in the middle of a new arrangement, his head ached.
On this Christmas Day, his father said: “You have reclassified your buttons, I see.”
The buttons were on the window ledge. It was a deep sill. Mrs Williams had put the buttons there when she set the table.
Oscar said: “Yes, Father.”
“The taxonomic principle being colour. The spectrum from left to right, with size the second principle of order.”
“Yes, Father.”
“Very good,” said Theophilus.
Oscar scraped his plate of stew clean. He finished his glass of water. He bowed his head with his father and thanked God for what He had provided. And when Mrs Williams came to the door and asked would he please help her add pollard to the pigs’ swill, he went quickly, quietly, a light, pale, golden-haired boy. He thought about his buttons, not about what he was doing.
The two women stood side by side like two jugs on a shelf. One was big and floury, the other small and freckled, but their smiles were mirror images of each other and they held their hands in front of them, each clasped identically.
They had “It” on a plate. They had cut it into quarters and covered it with lovely custard. Mrs Williams pushed her hairbrush deeper into her pinny pocket and thrust the pudding at him. She moved the bowl through the air with such speed that the spoon was left behind and clattered on to the cobble floor.
Mrs Williams stopped, but Fanny Drabble hissed: “Leave alone.” She kicked the fallen spoon away and gave Oscar a fresh one. She was suddenly nervous of discovery.
Oscar took the spoon and ate, standing up.
He could never have imagined such a lovely taste. He let it break apart, treasuring it inside his mouth.
He looked up and saw the two mirrored smiles increase. Fanny Drabble tucked her chin into her neck. He smiled too, almost sleepily, and he was just raising the spoon to his mouth in anticipation of more, had actually got the second spoonful into his mouth when the door squeaked behind him and Theophilus came striding across the cobbled floor.
He did not see this. He felt it. He felt the blow on the back of his head. His face leapt forward. The spoon hit his tooth. The spoon dropped to the floor. A large horny hand gripped the back of his head and another cupped beneath his mouth. He tried to swallow. There was a second blow. He spat what he could.
Theophilus acted as if his son were poisoned. He brought him to the scullery and made him drink salt water. He forced the glass hard against his mouth so it hurt. Oscar gagged and struggled. His father’s eyes were wild. They did not see him. Oscar drank. He drank again. He drank until he vomited into the pigs’ swill. When this was done, Theophilus threw what remained of the pudding into the fire.
Oscar had never been hit before. He could not bear it.
His father
made a speech. Oscar did not believe it.
His father said the pudding was the fruit of Satan.
But Oscar had tasted the pudding. It did not taste like the fruit of Satan.
4
After Pudding
His son was long-necked and delicate. He was light, airy, made from the quills of a bird. He was white and frail. He had a triangular face, a thin nose, archer’s-bow lips, a fine pointed chin. The eyes were so clean and unprotected, like freshly peeled fruit. It was a face that trusted you completely, made you light in the heart at the very moment it placed on you the full weight of responsibility for its protection. It was such an open face you could thank God for its lack of guile at the very moment you harboured anxieties for its safety in the world. Not even the red hair, that frizzy nest which grew outwards, horizontal like a windblown tree in an Italianate painting, this hair did not suggest anything as self-protective as “temper.”
He should not have hit him.
He knew this even as he did it, even as he felt himself move like a wind through the cabbage-damp kitchen, which was peopled with stiff and silent mannequins. He saw Mrs Williams reaching for her hairbrush. He saw Fanny Drabble raise her hand to cover her open mouth. He knew, as he heard the remnants of the nasty sweetmeat hiss upon the fire, that he should not have struck his son.
Theophilus saw the two blue marks he had made on bis son’s neck. They were made by the pincers of his own thumb and forefinger. He regretted the injury, but what else could he have done? The boy had skin like his mother. In a surgery in Pimlico, a Dr Hansen had dropped nitric acid on this skin from a 15ml pipette. Had the boy in the waiting room heard her cry out? She had cancer, and Hansen had removed the growth like this, with drops of acid on her tender skin. What they finally removed was a lump, dark and hard from all this pain. She had died anyway.
He had never struck his son. They had supported each other, silently, not wishing to touch their hurt with words. They were alone in a country where they did not belong. They sat on the red soil of Hennacombe like two London bricks. When the father fell into a brown study, the boy squatted silently, an untidy mess of adolescent limbs, and clasped his father’s knee and horny hand. They were united by blood, by the fundamentalist certainties of a dissenting faith, by this dead woman whom they could not talk about directly.
He had thrown her clothes into the sea. He had been half-drunk with anger and grief. He had left the boy in bed and gone running down through the rifle-sight of the combe, carrying her lavender-sweet clothes, not caring to separate them from their wooden hangers. The sea took them like weed, and threw them back along the beach. He dragged them out, searching for a current. The sea rejected them.
It was little Oscar, standing in his flannelette nightgown like a wraith, who finally brought him to his senses.
They had never talked about this with words, but in the silence of their eyes they understood each other and said things that would have been quite unthinkable to say aloud.
Mrs Williams began to brush her hair. She stood, wide and tall, her stomach pushing out against her white starched pinafore, and brushed at that tangled mass of grey frizz which would never right itself. She stooped a little so she might stare out of the seaward window while she did it. Thusk-thusk-thusk. She brushed as if she was in the privacy of her own room. And such was the conviction with which she brushed that she made herself a room, a little glass cage within the kitchen. It had a door and lock and you might not enter.
“Well,” Theophilus said. He was riddling the grate of the stove, No one dared tell him he was riddling to excess or making coals go through the grate. A long strand of Mrs Williams’s hair fell on his own. He did not feel it. Fanny Drabble saw it but did not dare to lift it off.
“Well,” he said, still riddling, back and forth, forth and back, “Master Hopkins, you will be a good helper and fetch up the buckets.”
“Let me get them, sir,” said Fanny Drabble who was ill, almost to the point of vomiting herself. She knew her tenure to be in danger. She knew it was to do with pudding, but beyond that she really could not fathom. “Oh, please,” she said. “Let me go, sir.” And she snatched the grey hair off his head. She could not help herself.
“No,” said Theophilus Hopkins. He did not notice the hair was gone. He kept on at the grate, in-out, out-in. “That will not be necessary, Mrs Drabble. Master Hopkins and I are going to collect some specimens.”
He looked at her then. She did not understand the look she saw. It seemed weak and watery. It did not match the tenor of the voice.
“But, sir,” said Fanny Drabble, feeling at last that she was free to stoop and pick up the spoon from the floor, “it be Christmas Day.”
It was then Theophilus turned his head enough to look at his son’s eyes. It was then that he saw the damage he had done.
“Christmas Day,” cooed Fanny Drabble, “and they say the boilers are bursting from all the frost at Exeter.”
When Theophilus looked at her he brought a face whose emotions were related to what he had just seen. The face had nothing to do with Mrs Drabble.
“Christmas Day,” she said gently, not knowing what she did.
“Some call it that,” said Theophilus, standing from the grate. He held out a hand so she must hand him the spoon. She gave it to him. “Some call it that, but none in my employ.”
“Yes,” thought Fanny Drabble, “and what a black loveless bastard you are.”
5
A Prayer
Oscar was afraid of the sea. It smelt of death to him. When he thought about this “death,” it was not as a single thing you could label with a single word. It was not a discreet entity. It fractured and flew apart, it swarmed like fish, splintered like glass. Death came at him like a ghost in a dream, transmogrifying, protoplasmic, embracing, affectionate, was one minute cold and wet like his father’s oilskin, so he shrank from it and cried out in his sleep, pushing the tight-bunched flannel sheet into the pit of his stomach, and then sometimes it was warm and soft and wore the unfocused smile of his mother.
In the sea-shells on the beach he saw the wonders which it was his father’s life to label, dissect, kill. He also saw corpses, bones, creatures dead. Creatures with no souls. When the sea lifted dark tangles of weed, he thought of jerseys with nothing in their arms. He fetched the buckets from where they had stood since autumn, hanging on the back wall beside the well. He did not like the sea to touch his ankles. He felt the light frizzing froth like steel shackles on his skin. He put his fine hands to the pit of his stomach and stood stock still, his face chalky and carved, like a creature wishing to make itself invisible before the eyes of a predator.
Mrs Williams swooped down on him with pullovers. She made him put four of them on, helping him in her breathless, impatient way, pulling his hair by mistake and getting the sleeve of the first rucked up inside the sleeve of the second, and so on, until he was a sturdy lumpy creature with a big woollen chest.
She did not meet his eye or say anything about the pudding.
“What will happen to her?” Oscar asked.
Mrs Williams was not worrying about Fanny Drabble. She was worrying about herself. She took her hairbrush from her pinny and tried to tidy Oscar’s hair. It was as bad as her own. Oscar struggled under the sharp bristles.
“I forbid you,” said Oscar, and was surprised that Mrs Williams stopped.
“Then go,” said Mrs Williams, handing him the buckets and the coil of rope. “Swim,” she said maliciously. She knew he was afraid of the sea. He carried his fear coiled and tangled in him like other boys carry twine and string in their crumb-filled pockets. You would not know he had it. You would think him cheerful, happy, obliging, polite. And he was. He was very religious, yes, but not in a gloomy way. When he talked about God it was with simplicity and joy. He had a face better suited to the master’s beliefs than the master himself.
Mrs Williams looked into this face to see the fear. She could not locate it. There was something else, but h
e would not show her what it was.
This something else was anger.
His right ear was still hot and stinging from the blow. He followed his father out of the front gate (bumping it—he always bumped it) and down the steep and sticky path (counting his steps—he always counted) towards the sea, with his anger held hard against him, like a dagger. He took short steps to make the number of steps right. He carried six metal buckets, three hessian bags, a coil of rope, and the buckets banged against his scratched blue shins. His stockings did not have sufficient calf to hold them up; they were rumpled arid mixed with red mud around the shiny brown laced boots. He had already torn the seat of his knickerbockers on a bramble and there was more red mud on his woolly combinations. This was a boy, anyone could see it, whose school books would be smudged and blotted. He slipped and stumbled down the path, counting, in the direction of the sea.
It was not marine biology that led Theophilus down this path to stand chest deep in freezing water. He was a naturalist, of course, and he would collect specimens. But now he was in a passion to bear witness. He dug his nails into the palms of his hands. He pulled himself upright by that imaginary thread he kept in the centre of his skull. He would show all of Hennacombe—his son most particularly—what a true Christian thought of Christmas. His breath was shallow and he bore on his face an expression which a stranger might mistake for a smile.
They were still in the mulch-damp dripping woods between the high downs and the sea, but Oscar could already smell death. It was lying out of sight, neat black velvet mounts of it, a weed named Melanasperm washed up beneath the fox-red cliff which gave the hamlet of Hennacombe its name. He could also smell the poisonous salt. He was shortsighted and could not see any more of the sea than a soft grey colour, like a sheet of satin thrown across a pit. But he could hear it already and knew how it would be, lying flat and docile like a tiger sleeping. It would be grey and pearly and would let itself be drunk up by the sand in quiet fizzy laps. But the Melanasperm was there to give the lie to this, to show that the sea could pluck free a plant the strongest man could not dislodge, could kill the man himself, push white plumes down his gurgling throat, tear off his clothes and leave them scattered and formless, pale pink things like jellyfish along the white-laced edges of the beach.