"I love you, Damon."
His eyes widened and jaw dropped. "What? You... You what?"
I couldn't help laughing at his surprise. I griped the front of his top and pressed my body against his. Our mouths were still so close and I ached everywhere to kiss him. "I love you. I'm still scared but I'm less scared when you're standing beside me. I want us to be official. If you do, of course."
"If?" He gripped my upper arms, lifted me up and then his mouth was on mine. I squealed against his lips and wrapped my legs around his waist.
"I love you, Nell," he murmured into the frantic, needy kiss.
I cried out as we bumped into the corner of the wall, neither of us broke the kiss, too caught up to care about anything else. I'd never wanted him as much as I did right now. It was more than sex; I wanted to be as close to him as humanly possible. If it was possible to crawl inside him I would.
Kneading the tops of my thighs with his fingers as he carried me, he stumbled into be bedroom and laid us both down. He pulled out of the kiss and trailed his lips over my jaw at a feathers touch.
I shuddered and moaned deeply, feeling it everywhere. "Damon," I whimpered, so turned on I could cry or scream. His touch was softer and his kiss slower. It was maddening and perfect and everything I needed it to be right now. The throbbing between my legs made me moan. I was on fire, desperate to feel him inside me.
"I love you," he murmured against the edge of my jaw and pushed my leggings down. I arched into his hand as he rubbed me through the lace of my underwear. "Shit, I can't wait, Nell."
His voice was so husky it made me shudder. I sat up, shoving him back and reached for his t-shirt. "There's a time for foreplay and this is not it," I said, as I made it my mission to get him naked in record time.
"God I love this side of you. Actually I love all sides of-" I kissed him, shutting him up. Groaning, he sat back on his knees and pulled me onto his lap. His tongue slid over mine and then circled it. I let him control the kiss, or I really didn't have much choice because it seemed he was determined to get me off just from his mouth on mine. If he kept going like that he'd do it too.
I clamped my legs around his and clawed his back, pressing my chest against his. I was burning and the need to come suppressed everything else. My nails dug into his back, he groaned, roughly tugged my top over my head and removed my bra.
Bloody. Hell.
Not being able to stand it anymore I crushed my body back against his and ground into him. With his erection lined perfectly between my legs I got the best friction as I circled my hips. My nipples rubbed against his chest setting every nerve ending in my body on fire.
"No foreplay you said," he growled, lifting and entering me sharply.
I cried out and let my head drop back. "Oh...Oh God that feels..."
"I know," he bit out and gently laid us both down. He took my hands, pinned them above my head on the pillow and very slowly started to move inside me. Gasping, I closed my eyes at the incredible feeling of him filling me and how much he meant to me. I was in love - totally and completely and eternally.
Sensing that I was on the verge of tears, a complete emotional wreck, he kissed me, gently brushing his lips against mine as he made long, slow strokes. I wanted to wrap my arms around his back but he still had me pinned above my head. Not being able to move somehow made it feel better.
I whimpered against his mouth, really, really needing to move now because I was so close I felt everything inside me tighten. Damon's lips curled against my own but he didn't move any faster like he usually did when he knew I was about to come.
Bastard.
Pulling my arms, I tried to get free and when he didn't let go I pushed my hips harder, only to have him pin me deeper to the bed so I couldn't move. And he didn't stop kissing me so I couldn't scream at him.
My body was so worked up I felt it shake. The emotional feeling of it heightened everything. I clenched around him as he circled his hips, pushing hard. He groaned into my mouth and I fell apart, clamping around him hard. My body felt like an explosion and the orgasm rolled on and on until I felt my legs go numb. Damon followed with a growl, burying his head in my neck and whispering over and over that he loved me.
Having sex with someone you were in love with was nothing like meaningless sex. Damon had always been killer between the sheets but this time was on a whole new level. It was perfect and beautiful. I'd been missing out on so much by keeping him at arms length.
He rolled beside me, pulling me into his arms and ran his fingers through my hair. "How're you feeling?"
"I feel kind of like I'm floating. I'm pretty sure my legs have turned into jelly. But I'm happy. Really happy."
His smile made my heart swell. "I'm so glad to hear that, Nell, you have no idea."
"Please, you know you're good in bed," I teased, knowing full well what he meant.
"Oh, I do know, your screams, pleads and back clawing confirmed that years ago."
Rolling my eyes, I snuggled closer so our bodies were pressed tight against each other's.
"I'm happy too," he said. "Looking forward to the rest of our lives."
"Funny, a few months ago that would have scared the hell out of me. But I finally feel ready to give you everything you want and deserve."
"I never needed any promise of marriage, mortgage and kids. Through my teens and Uni I was fine to mess around because I was young and I watched friends settle down as early as seventeen and eighteen. I was doing well in school, had my dream job lined up a year before I finished Uni. I had success from an early age but as I watched my mates love someone, I realised what really mattered in life. Success is great but what's the point if you're alone. All I've ever really wanted is you."
I slapped his chest with the back of my hand and then wiped my eyes. "You dickhead, you made me cry!"
Damon laughed and kissed my forehead. "It's nice to know how you feel too."
"You know how I feel, I told you, but I don't know where to even begin describing how much. I'm not that good at the whole verbal thing, never have been, but I know that as long as you're by my side I can face anything and be happy doing it. I love you so much more than I ever thought possible to love another person."
His lips parted. "I don't think you're doing too badly with 'the whole verbal thing'. It's nice to know you feel the way I do. More than nice, actually. There was a time where I didn't think this would ever happen."
"Me too. I'm sorry I put you through that."
"No, it's okay. You didn't do it to hurt me and hell, you were hurting too."
"It still kills me that I caused you pain. I wish I could have got it together before. God, it took my mum dying to make me realise that I'm in control of how I turn out."
He ran his fingertips over my bare shoulder. "Yeah, but seeing what you did growing up left a pretty big scar. You've come a long way, Nell, and as far as I'm concerned that part is done with. We're past it and I don't want you feeling guilty for something that you shouldn't feel guilty for."
That was easy for him to say. We weren't exclusive so I didn't break any rules - technically he was the rule breaker - but that didn't change what'd happened.
"Well, I'm all for putting the past behind us and moving forwards," I said, trailing my fingernail down his chest. His eyes dilated as I traced each bump and groove of his muscles.
"Yeah," he replied, licking his lips. "And how do you want to move forward?"
"I'm thinking we should start with me cooking for you tonight and you taking me out tomorrow." That wasn't what he was after. His pout was adorable. "Then later you get to decide how we move forwards."
He brightened immediately and got out of bed. "Alright, deal. I'll make drinks and you cook. Where do you want to go tomorrow?"
I watched him with a big moronic grin on my face. How the hell did I get so lucky to not only have him fall in love with me but to give me another chance?
He was looking for his clothes. I was pretty sure I'd ripped them of
f him before we'd entered my bedroom.
"What the fuck happened to this?" He asked, pulling my destroyed sage cushion out from behind another on the chair. He was still wearing nothing but his white gold watch, and I was very much enjoying the view.
My heart skipped a beat. I'd not looked at that for a while. I kept quiet, hoping he'd throw it down and let it go. Keeping a pillow stained with your mascara and tears from the break up with your ex-fuck buddy was too pathetic to admit.
"What did you do?"
My quilt covered me but I felt totally bare. "I cried on it a lot."
He rubbed his forehead. "Oh. Why do you keep it?"
"It's a reminder that I never want to hurt us that bad again."
"Wait, you cried on this pillow over me?"
I sat up, pulling the quilt with me. My efforts to protect my modesty were in vein as Damon tugged on the bottom, uncovering my breasts.
"Yes. A lot, actually. Just because I was..."
"Being fucking impossible?"
"Going through some things," I corrected, "doesn't mean that I didn't want to be able to be with you. Every time I thought I could give it a try I would think about my parents and what I didn't want to become. To me it was a risk I couldn't take. Ever."
"I know and I understand now. We could've saved ourselves a lot of hurt if you would've opened up and told me from the beginning. There was something wrong there, I knew that, but I thought I could eventually get you to open up and let me in. I hate that you went through so much alone."
He walked towards me and I bit my lip as my heart went wild with his slow decent to the bed.
"I wasn't alone," I whispered.
"You had Chloe but you wanted and needed me."
I nodded, confirming what he clearly knew. He was the one I wanted to hold me when everything went to shit.
"Well you have me now and I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you so don't even think about getting scared and running away from me again because I won't let you go."
Usually someone telling me what to do would piss me off but Damon telling me I was stuck with him really didn't.
"Bring it on," I replied.
He cocked his eyebrow. "Are you going to try running from me?"
"What would happen if I did?"
"Oh, Nell," he said breathlessly, his eyes intensifying. I didn't have time to blink before he was back on the bed and I was laying flat. His lips covered mine and I was lost for the next hour.
Damon
Nell walked out of the bathroom wearing a black pencil skirt that gave Pippa Middleton's arse a run for its money and fitted royal blue silk shirt. She had her hair up in a sleek ponytail. I stopped getting dressed. Fuck me, she was stunning.
She looked up halfway through smearing gloss over her lips. I hated that shit. "What?"
"You're beautiful," I said, not even pretending I wasn't ogling her like a pervert.
Taking a deep breath she dropped the lip gloss on the bed and made her way over. "I don't think I'll ever get used to the way you make me feel, especially when you say things like that."
"Good," I replied, pulling her into my arms where she belonged. If she got used to it then I wasn't making her feel the way I swore to make her feel every day of our lives. "I love you."
I heard her breath leave her lungs much too quickly. "I love you too."
That was getting easier for her to say. She'd had a difficult time finding her way back to me but we were there and we were happy.
"You'll pick me up after work and we'll go straight there, right?"
I kissed her forehead. "Right. Are you sure you want to spend the weekend with my parents?"
"Of course. I love your parents."
"Yeah, but you love them based on spending a few hours with them three times since we got together. A whole weekend is-"
"Damon, will you chill. This is going to be great. No commitment fear anymore, remember?"
"You sure about that?"
"Maybe I worry sometimes but not because I think we'll turn out like my parents. We won't, I know that for sure."
"Then what do you worry about?"
"You leaving me," she whispered.
I almost laughed in her face but thankfully I managed to pull it back at the last minute. "Come on, Nell, be serious."
She folded her arms over her chest defensively. "What? You asked!"
"You honestly think there's even the slightest possibility that I'd leave you?" I asked.
"I do. I can't help it. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm so sure that I must be dreaming here."
"Funny," I replied. "I feel the same."
"When we ended things before it hurt more than I could have imagined but I know if anything happened now..." She looked away and I saw a tear trail down her cheek.
"Hey," I said, lifting her chin. "Baby, look at me. I love you, Nell, and I always will. Whatever happens in the future we'll be okay because we'll work at it. You're stubborn as fuck so as long as you're willing to hold on and not let go we'll be just fine."
She let her arms drop and fell into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and leant my chin on the top of her head. "Do you trust me?" I asked.
"More than I trust myself."
"Then believe me when I tell you I won't let anything happen to us. You're stuck with me for life."
"Yeah?"
I nodded against her. "Yeah. Now have we finished this discussion and fought off your doubts?"
"Mmm hmm," she breathed into my chest.
"Good. Let's get to work and then."
I dropped Nell off and headed to my office. Today had better pass quickly because I was really looking forward to spending some real time with my girl and my parents. I loved how she integrated in my family as if she'd always been there.
Nell was waiting outside her office when I picked her up that afternoon. Unlike when she worked for those last pricks she had a big smile on her face. She loved her new job, got the respect and recognition she deserved and was making good changes for the company. I loved to see her happy in all aspects of her life.
She opened the door and dropped in the seat, lobbing her bag in the back. "Hey, baby," she said, leaning over for a kiss.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Very okay but it was a long day. We walked around the whole warehouse, offices and workshop. We've made great progress and both Harold and Margaret listened to my ideas so we're definitely making progress. Oh, and I bought a new desk."
Nell worked for a company that made, up-cycled and sold furniture and home furnishings. She spent at least 20% of her wages there and loved one-of-a-kind things. Thankfully so did a lot of people, mass produced flat packed shit was on its way out and people wanted quality. They needed to expand quickly and Nell was hired to plan and oversee that.
"We might need to look for a bigger house."
She grinned. "That's exactly what I was thinking. Three bedrooms will do."
There were two of us and we shared a room but of course we needed an extra two.
"Well I look forward to paying out hundreds more a month so all your new stuff can be stored."
"There's a retro pinball machine they're working to restore..."
My eyes flicked to hers as I pulled up at a red light. "You're trying to get around me with man toys?"
"Absolutely. Oh, and sex. I plan on having lots of sex with you in each of those three bedrooms."
Who was I kidding, there was no way I was pushing for a smaller place if offers of arcade games and steamy sex was on offer.
"Fine. Start looking for bigger places then."
Squealing, she pulled out her phone, no doubt hopping on Rightmove to start the search right away. I couldn't care less, as long as we could comfortably afford it, the place it didn't matter to me, where we lived or how much space we had. I'd live with her in a hostel if it meant we could be together.
Nell had come so far and she deserved everything she wanted. We deserved it.
; Two hours later, we pulled up at my parents and I went to get the bags out of the boot. Nell had been organised and packed the night before so we could go straight from work since we'd be travelling at peak time.
Mum answered the door and hugged Nell first. I hadn't realised that when I got a girlfriend I'd be bumped down on the favourite list. But I loved it.
"Hi, darling," Mum said, crushing the life out of her.
Nell laughed and squeaked a, "Hey."
"Will you put her down?!" I said, laughing and kissed my mum's cheek once she'd let Nell go. We walked inside and I headed to the living room to find Dad. No doubt he'd be watching football. I rounded the corner and sure enough found him waving his hand at a footie match.
"Hey, Dad," I said, dropping down beside him.
"Alright, son. Nell not with you?"
"Mum stole her."
"She never had a girlie daughter. I'm surprised she's not in there combing Nell's hair."
Cara was not one bit girlie. The one time Mum bought her a dress and asked her to try it on and see if she liked it Cara took it out in the garden and burned it.
"How is C getting on at Uni?" I asked.
"She's not called asking for money in a week, so doing better I think."
"I remember those days." I laughed and kicked my feet up on the coffee table same as his. We'd both get told off for it but we still did it every time.
"How are things going with you anyway?" He asked.
Dad was the only one of them that knew the whole story with Nell. There was no way I was telling Mum. I'd only get my ear chewed off about the correct way to treat a woman - being not to have casual sex with them. Didn't matter that it was a mutual decision between two adults. It'd be my fault.
"Great," I replied, trying to stop the aching grin I got when I spoke about her. Or even just thought about her. My colleagues must think I'd lost it the amount of smiling to myself I did.
"That's good. Not thought about the next step yet? I knew your mum was the one after the first date and soon after got a ring on that finger."
"Oh, did you?" I asked sarcastically. The amount of times I'd heard that story.