“I was just thinking. About what it could be like. Down the road.” She reached for my hand and squeezed it.
“Tell me more. Give me details.” I hesitated, but then I looked at her and thought about everything and my resolve broke. I told her about a little girl with her eyes and her stubborn personality who would run around and drive us crazy, but that we would love more than we knew was possible.
“I was also thinking about my mom. About what she would say if she knew. I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about a lot of things.” A little half-smile formed on her face.
“So, you want a girl? Not a boy to carry on your family name and all that patriarchal bullshit?” I threw my head back and laughed.
“I love you so much. No, I would be fine with a boy, definitely. More than fine. But I don’t know, I just see a little girl. And if she was anything like you, she would be smashing the patriarchy before she was even potty trained.” That made her beam and she patted her belly again.
“Yeah, she would, wouldn’t she?”
“Definitely.”
I hadn’t been able to picture it at all until Hunter had started talking. About a little girl that was like me. I could hear how much he wanted her to be real. And I knew how amazing he would be as a father. He’d already proved that so many times over with Harper. Me being a mom on the other hand… That was still a huge unknown. And God, not even the mothering part, it took nine months to bake a little human. That didn’t sound like a long time until you were actually pregnant. Now it seemed like forever. Shit, it was going to change my body and what were we going to do about the house? We couldn’t just make a nursery out of nothing. Hunter had talked about adding on, but that would be a huge amount of work. Was nine months long enough for all that?
“Taylor?” Hunter busted through my thoughts and handed me my phone.
“Call your mom. I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready, okay?” He kissed my forehead and took the tray with him when he went back down.
I took a deep breath and called her. I didn’t think she would answer because she was at work, but she picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, Kid! To what do I owe this honor?” I opened my mouth and nothing came out. There really wasn’t a subtle way to tell your mom that you were baking a baby in your lady oven.
“Why aren’t you at work?” I asked instead. Great opening, Taylor.
“I have a random day off, why? Is everything okay?” Great, I’d set off her mom radar.
“Well, I think so? If being pregnant is considered okay?” There, it was out. Followed by a good ten seconds of complete silence on the other end.
“Mom?” I asked.
“Hold on, I just had to check the calendar to make sure it wasn’t April first. Are you serious?” This wasn’t going very well.
“Yeah. I took a test yesterday because I’d been feeling weird. It was positive. So. Here I am. Knocked up.” I laughed a little, but Mom didn’t join in.
“I thought you were using protection.” Ugh, I did not want to talk about this part with my mom. I should have called Tawny first. I could talk about this kind of stuff with her no problem.
“Um, we were, but then I was on antibiotics and I guess that messed with things.” I regretted telling her about the antibiotics the second I said it.
“What were you on antibiotics for?” she asked.
“Um, just an, infection I had,” I said, hoping she would take that as my answer and not ask anything else. Nope. No such luck.
“What kind of infection? Why didn’t you tell me? Taylor, what is going on? Do I need to come up there and sit you down to get you to tell me things?” I sighed.
“Okay, fine. I had a UTI, Hunter and I had banged while we were in Texas and now I’m pregnant.” Normally I wasn’t this blunt with my mom but today all my verbal brakes were malfunctioning.
“You didn’t have to say it like that,” she said, getting snippy. Why had I thought it was a good idea to call her?
“Can we get past that and back to the fact that I am currently pregnant and a junior in college and not in an ideal situation to have a baby but that I’m just going to have to suck it up and do it anyway?” I didn’t know that was what I was planning to do until I said it out loud.
“Oh, Taylor. I’m sorry. I was just taken aback by the whole thing. You sprung this on me with no warning.” I almost laughed at how silly that sounded to me.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t really plan my surprise pregnancy,” I said and she sighed.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. This must be a lot for you to take in. Have you told Hunter?” I gave her the play by play of what had happened up until this morning. I even told her about Hunter talking about the baby.
“You picked yourself a good one, Kid. I didn’t think there were a whole lot of them still out there. And how are you feeling about it?” I sighed.
“Honestly, I’m not over the initial shock of it. But then Hunter and I were talking about it and I could tell how much he wants this and I mean, I want this too. I didn’t think it would happen right now, but I always knew I wanted kids. I guess this is just speeding up the timeline a bit.” That was an understatement, but when had Hunter and I done anything by any sort of schedule?
Things weren’t going to be easy, but we had each other. He wasn’t going anywhere. He was probably downstairs picking out names right now and drawing up plans for a nursery.
This was happening.
I’d grabbed my laptop on the way downstairs and instead of looking up horrifying pregnancy stories, I started looking up baby equipment. I knew that a lot was required, and it was going to be expensive. Fortunately, I had a shit ton of money that I wasn’t currently using and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it.
I bookmarked a few sites and decided I would show them to Taylor later. We’d also need to figure out where we were going to put him or her. Our room was large, but all the baby items were going to take up space. There was room to put an expansion on the back of the house, which would be perfect for a nursery. Plus, having a team of built-in babysitters was going to come in handy. This kid was going to have more aunts and uncles than it would know what to do with.
I hadn’t even thought of moving out, or having the place to ourselves. It wouldn’t feel like home. It would be far too quiet, for one. And Taylor was going to need her support system. Especially Renee, who was going to be all over monitoring this pregnancy like white on rice. I had a feeling I was going to be really grateful for her medical helicoptering.
Taylor had shorts and a tank top on when she came downstairs and her hair was brushed out and thrown over her shoulder, still damp from her shower. It might me be my imagination, but she was already glowing. My eyes traveled down to her stomach, but she wasn’t going to not show one minute and pop out the next.
“How did it go?” I asked, closing my laptop.
She rolled her eyes and took the chair next to me.
“Well, I had to tell my mom how I got pregnant, which meant telling her that I had a UTI. Then I got a lecture. After that was over, she was actually very supportive. She wants me to come down and visit this weekend so she can take me out to lunch and share motherly wisdom or whatever. Tawny just basically laughed at me for ten solid minutes and told me ‘good luck.’” I chuckled. Taylor’s sister was one-of-a-kind.
“Are you gonna tell your dad?” I asked and she made a face.
“He’s going to find out. Mom is probably calling him right now and I’ll have a voicemail by the end of the night. Probably by the end of the day.” She put her arms on the table and rested her chin on them.
“And I should probably make a doctor’s appointment or something, right? Isn’t that a thing I should do? I don’t even know.” I cleared my throat and hoped I didn’t sound like an asshole.
“Well, if you’re less than twelve weeks, they’re just going to tell you to take the same kind of test you already took. It would probably be good to call and set the fir
st appointment, though.” She gaped at me.
“What?”
“Are you pregnant, or am I? How do you know that?” I shrugged.
“I couldn’t sleep last night so I looked up a bunch of stuff.” I wasn’t going to scare her with all the horror stories, that was for sure.
“Weirdo,” she said, but she had a smile on her face. “Well, I should probably do that. And we need to sit down and figure out how the hell this is all happening. Moneywise and everything else.” I put my hand up.
“Money is covered. Totally covered.” She started to protest, but I got up and kissed her until she shut up.
“Stop that. I don’t want you footing the entire bill for this.” She was crazy if she thought she was going to pay for this alone.
“You’re the one carrying it and giving birth. Even if I gave you a million dollars that wouldn’t be a fair trade.” She rolled her eyes.
“And now you’re just trying to butter me up,” she said.
“That is absolutely not true. And if I’m not spending this money on our baby, who am I going to spend it on? It’s just sitting in the bank. Joe has been driving me crazy about it forever. I’m relieved I can finally tell him I have something to do with it.” It was a huge relief, actually. I was going to spoil that kid. Whatever hobby she or he wanted to do, I was all for it. Braces, horseback riding lessons, everything.
“Ugh, we can talk about this later,” she said, shoving a hand in my face and pushing me away as she got up. “I need another nap.”
I let her sleep most of the day, but then she woke up and started to get caught up on her homework.
“I can’t imagine being in school and walking around with this huge belly.” She stretched out her shirt, as if she was imagining it.
“Well, you’ll probably be due around…” I counted “July, which is perfect timing. You won’t be in school and then if you want, you could defer for a semester and then double up, or just graduate a semester later.” Her eyes got wide.
“Shit, I wasn’t even thinking about school. Fuck. You’re messing everything up already!” She yelled the last part to her lower half and I snorted.
“Hey, don’t blame him or her. I don’t want you resenting them,” I said.
“I know, I know,” she said, putting her pen down on her textbook. “I won’t say stuff like that when it can hear me and understand. There’s just a lot to think about and every time I think I’ve got a handle on it, something else hits me.” She sat back on her heels and sighed.
“But are you excited?” I asked. I’d had yet to hear her being happy about this. Because I was so fucking happy I could barely handle it.
She thought about it for a moment and I was about to freak out but then a slow smile spread on her face.
“Yeah, I think so. It’s cool, thinking about a little person that’s half me and half you. Hopefully it won’t be as much of an asshole as you are.” She crumpled up a piece of notebook paper and chucked it at me.
“Oh, you are asking for it.” I got up and she tried to shield herself.
“No, don’t you dare. I am currently carrying your child. You can’t attack me, I’m the sacred vessel!” The last word was lost in her shriek as I tackled her and tickled her under her arms.
“Stop it, stop it!” she gasped. I relented, lying next to her.
“You’re going to be a terrible parent,” she said, pointing an accusing finger at me. I grabbed her hand and pretended to bite her, but kissed it instead.
“You’re gonna be amazing, Missy. Seriously amazing.” She got serious.
“Well, I’m glad you think so because I’m scared as fuck.” I pulled her into my chest and held her close.
“We have some time to figure it out, baby. We’ve got this. There are a lot of people far worse off who do this every day. We’ve got money and love and a house and a ton of friends and Hope is going to lose her shit when she finds out and give you the most epic baby shower the world has ever seen.”
I was itching to share my good news and I really wanted to ask Taylor if we could drive up to Bar Harbor and do it in person so Hope could hug the shit out of both of us. She was probably also going to cry. I wanted to cry, I was so happy.
I hadn’t said anything about getting married. We were still getting used to the whole “holy fuck, we’re having a baby” part to deal with that. It didn’t matter to me if we did it before or after, but I was actually hoping this would inspire Taylor to move things up sooner so I could wife her before our baby came.
“Oh my God, you’re right. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet,” Taylor said about the baby shower.
“We have time, Missy. We have time,” I said and twisted my fingers with hers. We both fell asleep on the floor, only waking up when the rest of our household banged through the doors.
“How are you doing, mama?” Renee said, standing over us. Taylor blinked up at her.
“Don’t call me that. It makes me sound old.” Renee plopped down next to us.
“Psh, my mom had me when she was seventeen. Youth isn’t always good when it comes to kids and you are not that old, Tay.” Paul came in a few minutes later and didn’t even question why we were all sitting on the floor. He just got down, gave Renee a kiss and started talking. Soon we were joined by Darah, Jos, Mase and then Dusty. Someone moved the coffee table so there was enough room for all of us.
“You’re all a bunch of weirdos,” Taylor said, looking around. No one wanted to make dinner so we were eating chips, dip, cookies, veggie sticks and strawberries from their containers.
“But we’re your weirdos,” Mase said, pointing at me with a carrot stick.
“He has a good point,” I said, looking at her. She shrugged and grabbed another chip.
“So, are we allowed to offer name suggestions,” Jos said, popping the top of her soda.
“Look, we haven’t even been to the doctor, so I think that’s a little premature,” Taylor said.
“She’s right. Your kid is only about the size of, like, a seed,” Renee said, holding her fingers up and pinching them to show a very tiny amount.
“A seed?” I asked. It was hard to believe it was really that small. And that it could cause Taylor so much trouble.
“So I am literally growing a human bean,” Taylor said with a laugh. Everyone else joined in and I had one of those moments when I realized everything in my life was really good and I should probably enjoy it while it lasts.
“But to get back to the name thing, please don’t name you child after like, a Game of Thrones character,” Jos said. Renee bristled.
“And what is wrong with the name Tyrion? Or Daenerys? Are you telling me that there’s something wrong with the name Jon?” Renee pointed at Mase. Jos rolled her eyes and then there was a huge debate about acceptable names for babies.
“We are not naming our baby after anything from a television show,” Taylor said in my ear.
“What about books?” I asked.
“Books are definitely up for debate. But I think we should find out what we’re having first, don’t you think?” I nodded. At least we agreed on that. I definitely wanted to know if we were having a boy or a girl ahead of time so we could figure out how we were going to decorate their room. I hadn’t talked to Taylor about my plans for the nursery yet. We’d get to it. Another time.
“You ready for this?” Mase asked me the next day when we were down in our makeshift home gym. I hadn’t worked out in a while, so I’d decided to join him while he lifted weights.
“No idea. But I’m going to try to be.” He picked up a set of dumbbells and started bicep curls. I wasn’t really doing much, so I got on the treadmill and started to jog.
“Hey, room for one more?” Dusty asked as he came down the stairs.
“Sure.”
“So, baby,” Dusty said and I rolled my eyes. That seemed to be the only talk of conversation anyone could come up with.
“Yup.”
“If I were you, I’d be
freaking the fuck out, but you seem to be happy about it,” Dusty said, picking up a set of weights and starting to work his arms.
“I am freaking the fuck out, but I’m also really happy. I honestly am.” They both looked at me like I was insane.
“Well, I just tell you now that Dare and Ne are planning a ‘congratulations on your baby’ party,” Mase said with a grunt.
“Isn’t that called a baby shower?” Dusty said.
“No, this is like, for the parents. The baby shower is all about getting baby stuff,” Mase said.
“And when is this party happening?” I asked.
“Soon,” Mase said. “They’re already getting baking supplies now.” If there was one thing the ladies of Yellowfield House knew how to do, it was throw a party.
So even though Renee said the baby was only the size of a seed, it was causing me all kinds of problems. I was fucking exhausted all the time. And the sickness continued every morning when I woke up. To his credit, Hunter was right there and took care of me through everything. He also took on my share of the chores when I needed a nap.
I hated taking up so much of his time, so whenever I could, I told him to play videogames with Mase, or hang out with Paul or work on Dusty’s car with him. I didn’t want to be some sort of ball and chain and make him resent me someday.
Our friends proved that they were the literal best when they threw Hunter and I a party to celebrate the baby. There were baby carrots and baby corn and it was a blast and everyone got very silly with baby puns.
That weekend we drove up to see Hope, John and Harper to tell them about the baby in person. Hope burst into tears and Harper kept asking if she and the baby could be best friends. That made me cry, which made Hunter go into hyper-caretaker mode. I had handfuls of tissues shoved at me until I told him I was fine and that he had to stop.
“Oh, I remember when I was pregnant with JJ. I was the size of a house,” Hope said, referring to Mase. I knew that wasn’t true because I’d seen pictures and she was the most glamorous pregnant woman I’d ever seen.