“Of course I trust you. I don’t know how that happened. I don’t trust anyone, usually. But somehow…” I said, trailing off.
“I know exactly what you mean.”
“Soooo, how did it go?” I didn’t need to know the details, but I was a little curious.
“It wasn’t horrible and it wasn’t awesome. It was just kind of… what it was,” he said. Her name was Isobel and she was actually certified, so that was a relief. Basically, he’d told her about his past and she’d taken notes.
“She wants to see me next week, so I made another appointment.” He shrugged.
“That’s good. That’s really good. I’m proud of you.” Neither of us had been getting a whole lot of sleep lately, so I hoped that was going to change. I kissed him on the cheek.
“Thanks, Missy. Hey, I was wondering. I think I’m going to go ahead and get my fifth tattoo.” He’d been wanting it for ages, since I’d first met him. He’d talked about us going to get tats together, but I hadn’t been ready.
“Do you want to come with? Or get something yourself?” I looked up at him and his eyes sparkled at the idea of me getting inked. He was obsessed with my belly ring, so who knew what a tattoo would do for him.
“Maybe,” I said. “I mean, I’ve been thinking about it.” His eyes lit up even more.
“What do you want to get?” I took a breath.
“A peacock feather. What else?” He just smiled and shook his head.
“Oh, Miss, I know why you want it, and I’ve been really good about having the colors around, but putting one on your body just seems like courting disaster.” My superstitious fiancée. I smushed his face between my hands.
“You are such a dork, but I love you anyway.” He groaned, but then I kissed him and he shut up.
“Where would you get it?” he asked and I had an idea.
“I’m not sure. Maybe here?” I said, pulling my shirt off and pointing between my boobs. “What do you think?” His eyes widened and he gaped a little.
“Uh, yeah. I think that could work for you. Yeah, definitely.” I laughed.
“You have a one-track mind, Mr. Zaccadelli.”
“And you have beautiful tits, Miss Caldwell,” he said, brushing his thumbs across my nipples. Things escalated quickly and soon we weren’t talking about tattoos at all.
My sister called the next day and it was a relief to talk to her. It felt like we hadn’t chatted in forever.
“Hey, Kid! You still alive?” she said and I rolled my eyes. I was at the grocery store filling up my cart so I looked like one of those assholes who talked on their phone at the grocery store.
“Yes, I’m alive, thanks for asking. How are you?”
She sighed.
“Work sucks. Dating sucks. Everything sucks.” I laughed. She was a paralegal, but she still swore and used slang as much as the next person. She could turn on the professionalism in about three seconds flat if she needed to, though.
“Okay, do you need some sisterly advice? Or do you just want to bitch?” A little old lady staring at the salad dressings gave me a dirty look. I just gave her a huge smile and kept pushing my cart, grabbing a bottle of ranch and another of balsamic on my way.
“Bitching, please,” she said in a sing-song voice. I laughed again as she launched into her work drama, which included a war with a coworker over someone stealing the communal food, another who kept sending out stupid chai emails and another guy who wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“I swear, I’m almost tempted to take this guy out just to shut him up. If only that wouldn’t blow up in my face.” Poor Tawny. Her dating history was volatile and varied. She just couldn’t seem to find a guy who wasn’t threatened by her.
“All these guys claim to want a ‘strong, independent woman’ but when one shows up, they freak out. Fucking idiots. Don’t even know what they want.” She huffed and I started going back through the aisles again to make sure I hadn’t missed anything on my list.
“There are guys who do like that. I swear. I’m engaged to one.” I was never too much for him. I mean, shit, I’d punched him and yelled at him kneed him in the groin on the very first day we met. And he still wanted me.
“Yeah, well, if you find one, send him my way.”
“I will, Tawny, I will. Don’t worry, there really is a guy out there who is just right for you. All we have to do is find him.”
“Yeah, thanks for that, Kid. Hey listen, I have to go, but before I do, Mom made me swear on pain of death to tell you to call her. So this is me telling you.”
“I will, I swear.” I also still hadn’t listened to that voicemail Dad had left me weeks ago.
“Okay, you’d better. Because she’s been up my ass about it.” I rolled my eyes and headed toward the checkout.
“Bye, Tawny,” I said pointedly.
“Bye, Kid. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I still hadn’t found a good mashup for Kent, so I asked Jos for help and together we listened to about a thousand of them.
“This actually worked out because it gave me an idea for a series of posts for my blog, so thanks for that.” She gave me a smile and clicked on the next video.
“This is one of my favorites. The driving beats just work so well together.” It was a mashup of “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ‘Em Up)” by Fallout Boy and “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons. Both were great songs on their own, but holy shit, when they were layered on top of one another, it gave me chills. I turned and looked at Jos in awe.
“I know, right?” she said.
“What are you listening to?” Dusty said, handing Jos a cup of tea. Jos started the song over so he could listen.
“Sick. That is fucking incredible. Is this for Steiners?” he asked me.
“Yeah, I think so.” Dusty nodded along with the beat and then started working with it.
“Shit, yeah. We definitely need to do this.” Dusty played it again and again and started memorizing the beats so he could layer them as much as possible.
“This is just the kind of thing our set list needs,” he said.
“I think so too,” I said, finally satisfied. I hoped Kent was going to like it. Some of the guys were more old school when it came to music so more modern stuff was a tougher sell. But Dusty could perform the shit out of this and it would be amazing.
There was a knock at the door and Jos went to answer it.
“Hello, everyone,” Hannah said. She had her backpack and also another bag. Guess she was sleeping over. Good thing we had plenty of room. Might be time to consider adding another bedroom in the basement. We didn’t need such a huge man cave since we spent most of our time upstairs. Sure, Mase worked out down there, but his bench and weights didn’t take up that much space.
Something to think about for the future.
“Hey, Hannah,” I said and she gave me a fierce grin. She was kind of a badass, which made everyone adore her. Plus, she was a great friend to Jos, and that made her a winner in my book.
She dropped her stuff in the foyer and came to flop on the couch next to Dusty.
“So, what’s everyone up to? Nobody else get engaged or knocked up?” Jos rolled her eyes.
“Who got knocked up?” Dusty asked.
Hannah just smiled like she had a juicy secret and didn’t want to share it.
“Let’s just say that I know of a professor and a TA who are going to be getting a visit from the stork soon.” Nearly everyone gasped and spent the next few minutes trying to guess who it was while Hannah hoarded the information with glee.
Dusty was threatening to tickle it out of her when Taylor came in from her shift at the crisis center.
“Whoa, what did I walk in on?” she said, taking in the scene.
“Nothing important,” I said as she kissed me and collapsed in my lap.
“Tired, baby?” I asked. Hannah finally leaked the name of the professor and that led to all kinds of talk of other scandals. Taylor
and I tuned them all out, in our own bubble.
“Yeah. I was working phones tonight and this woman called.” She wasn’t supposed to tell me the details of the calls because of confidentiality, but sometimes she was able to give me enough details that I could piece things together.
“You want to talk about it?” I asked.
She shook her head.
“No. I just want to sit here with you for a little while.” I stroked her hair and held her tight. I loved how much she wanted to help people, but having her exposed to the nastiness in the world made me want to put on fucking armor and grab a sword and slay something.
“I love you, baby,” I said and she sighed.
“That’s all I need to hear.”
It was late before anyone was ready to go to bed. I snuck a glass of wine upstairs for Taylor and handed it to her after she put her shorts and tank top on to go to sleep.
“You’re perfect. You’re actually perfect. I totally love you,” she said as I presented it to her.
“I have my moments,” I said as she took a sip and moaned in pleasure.
“I know you couldn’t talk downstairs, but you can unload on me. Fuck knows I do it to you.” My baggage was heavy and she was amazing at carrying it. I wanted to do the same for her.
She set the glass down on the dresser and put her arms around my neck.
“It was just hard, listening her talk about how scared she is of her husband,” she said in a soft voice. “I just wish there was more I could do for her.” I wrapped my arms around her, wishing there was something I could do for both of them.
“You can’t save everyone, Missy. But you can do your best.” She pulled back and looked up at me with tears in her eyes.
“I know. But it feels like sometimes my best isn’t good enough.” I kissed her forehead and held her tight. That was all I could do. All any of us could do.
“So when are you coming to see me?” Mom asked. “It’s been weeks and it’s less than an hour drive, you know.” I held back a sigh, but rolled my eyes because she couldn’t see me.
“Soon, Mom. Really soon. Things are busy up here.” She made a grumpy sound.
“All I’m asking is for you to come and see your mother.” I held in a scream. She was driving me absolutely nuts, but if I didn’t cave, she was going to keep this up.
“How about lunch on Saturday?” I said, regretting I said the words when I heard the excitement in her voice.
“Oh, Kid, that would be great! I can cook and I’ll ask Tawny to come too.”
“Great!” I tried to find some enthusiasm, but couldn’t. “Okay, I’ve gotta go. Love you!”
“Love you, Kid.”
What had I done?
“How much do you love me?” I asked Hunter after I hung up with her and sat next to him on the couch. He was immersed in a new fantasy series that I had read and loved. I told him he had to read it so we could discuss together. His eyes bounced along the screen of my e-reader and then he looked up.
“I’m not sure, but I think you’re going to tell me,” he said with a smirk.
“Do you love me enough to go have lunch with me and my mom and possibly my sister?” I was willing to beg and grovel and pay him in blow jobs if it came to that.
He just laughed.
“As much as I love the idea of you owing me sexual favors, I will go have lunch with your family without coercing. Because I’m a good fiancé.” Oh, he was just so smug. I wanted to wipe that look right off his face.
“Are we having a contest right now? To see who is the best fiancée? Because I definitely think I win,” I said. He raised one eyebrow.
“Oh, really? Care to put a wager on that?” I snorted.
“Um, no. A bet is how we got into this mess to begin with,” I said, pointing to my ring.
“Then I think a bet is an excellent idea,” he said, tapping my nose with his finger.
“No. This time I’m putting my foot down. No. More. Betting.” I poked him in the chest to punctuate the words. He sighed as if I’d asked him to do something terrible.
“Fine, fine. But I’m still the better fiancée.”
I was gonna let that one die. If we got started again, we’d never stop.
“So, to get back to the point, you will come with me this weekend?” I asked.
“Of course. I was serious. You could just say that we’re going and not even give me the option. You have that power, Missy Girl.”
“I could? I didn’t even know that was an option. Hmmm,” I said pretending to think. “This could definitely work out in my favor.”
Hunter raised his eyes to the ceiling, as if beseeching a higher power.
“Why did I say anything?”
Honestly. He was ridiculous sometimes.
“Hate me?” I asked and he smiled slowly. It was the question he used to ask me. Back when we’d first met and had that other bet.
“Not even a little,” he said. “Not even a little.
“Love me?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“More than the stars,” he whispered and then carried me upstairs to show me.
“So, have you figured out when the big day is going to be?” Mom asked and I nearly choked on my grilled cheese sandwich. Tawny patted me on the back as I swigged some water from my glass.
“You gonna be okay?” Hunter said from my other side.
“Yeah, fine,” I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin. At first when I’d told her that I was getting married, she’d been shocked and had definitely tried to talk me out of it. She didn’t lay off until I assured her that no, I was not pregnant, and no, I wasn’t getting married until after I graduated. So this abrupt turnaround was… shocking to say the least.
“Um, are you wanting me to get married now?” I asked and Tawny tossed me a dirty look.
“Well, you’re engaged, so I figured you’d want to set a date.” She didn’t give anything away as she sipped at her tea. I had no idea what the hell was going on, but it was freaking me out.
“Uh, no. We’re not getting married until after I graduate,” I said slowly and carefully. I risked a glance at Hunter and he looked as puzzled as I felt.
What was happening?
“Oh, well, I just assumed that you’d move it up.” Mom was still giving me nothing to go on. I tried Tawny, but she just shrugged.
“Why would you assume I’d move it up?” I asked.
“No reason. Just figured,” she said. “I mean, I know I wouldn’t want to be engaged for over a year. Thought maybe now that you’d had a taste of being engaged, you’d be ready to go all the way.” Did she know me at all?
“No. We’re still getting married after graduation. Right?” I turned to Hunter and he smiled at me.
“Right.”
But there was a little tremor to that smile. I really wished my mom hadn’t brought this up. It was just another reminder that Hunter and I had different ideas of when our wedding should happen.
“Just checking, just checking. I don’t want to get an invitation in the mail without a warning,” Mom said, narrowing her eyes. Oh. I got it. She thought I was going to plan everything without her. Because I was up at college and had friends to help me.
She didn’t want to be left out.
“Mom,” I said. “You know you’re going to be the first one to know when we set a date. I’m not doing anything without letting you know or getting your approval. You know that right?” I reached across the table and touched her hand.
She finally smiled.
“I know, I know. It’s just hard to think about you so far away.” I snorted.
“Mom, I’m less than an hour away. I’m not going to plan this wedding without you. I can’t plan this wedding without you. My brain would explode. Or I’d die from stress.” She scoffed.
“You always underestimate yourself, Kid.” She squeezed my hand and her eyes were a little misty.
“Don’t make me cry, Mom,” I said, wiping my eyes.
“Group hug!”
Tawny said and we all got up from our chairs. Hunter looked a little bashful, but I yanked him in with us. Someone started laughing and then we were all laughing.
“Now that that’s over, tell me how classes are going and about your new job,” Mom said. I filled her in on the nicer aspects of my work at the crisis center. I didn’t think she would like me doing a lot of the things I was going to be doing there, so I left those parts out.
“And Hunter, how are things going for you?” She was really making an effort to include him and I was going to have to pull her aside and thank her for it later. She’d come a long way since that first weekend when I’d brought him over.
Hearing Mom and Hunter talk to each other like it was no big deal made my stupid heart all melty. He had become part of my family, just as I had become part of his.
After we finished lunch, Tawny and I volunteered (were told) to do the dishes while Mom chatted with Hunter in the living room. I couldn’t hear them over the rush of the water, but I hoped she wasn’t giving him the third degree after being so nice while we were eating.
“Oh, stop,” Tawny said, elbowing me as she handed me a rinsed dish to put in the dishwasher.
“What? I’m just looking out for him. Mom can be scary when she wants to.” Tawny just rolled her eyes.
“She likes him now, though. Because he’s going to make an honest woman out of you and you’re going to stop living in in sin and all that.” I snorted.
“Living in sin? Who even says that anymore? What are you, my grandmother?” She just gave me a look.
“It’s true though. She doesn’t want us giving it up for just anyone. Which is why I don’t tell her anything about my personal life.” Yeah, Tawny had been on more than a few dates and had more her share of bed partners. Didn’t matter to me, as long as she was safe, but I didn’t think it was making her happy. The last few times I’d seen her, there had been a dark cloud hovering over her.
“And how is your personal life, if you don’t mind me asking out of mom’s earshot.”
Tawny sighed and rolled her eyes.