‘What’ve you got planned for the rest of the day?’ he asked, rolling onto his back and staring up the sky.
‘Not a lot. Going out later for a drink at The Crown.’
‘Am I invited?’
‘I um, I can’t tonight,’ I stammered. I was supposed to be going there with Johnny to meet Abi and Sam, and how would it look if I showed up with Connor.
I had never dared to hope Connor would be interested in me. I had no option now, but to end things with Johnny. He just didn’t compare with this god lying next to me.
‘How about Monday?’ I said without thinking.
‘Great,’ he replied and got up. He went back into the house, leaving me lying there in a fizz of emotion.
That night, I got ready for my night out with Johnny. I was dreading it, knowing I’d have to finish things with him. I hoped I wouldn’t bottle out, but the image of Connor kept floating around in my brain, so I gritted my teeth and prepared myself for an awful evening. I didn't want to make myself look too nice, but at the same time, I didn't want Johnny to think I hadn't even bothered. I ended up settling on a long summer dress that had never really suited me.
We were supposed to be going to the pub to meet Abi and Samuel and I planned to speak to him on our way back home. But when Johnny came to pick me up, he told me he had two tickets for a photography exhibition at the Arnolfini in Bristol. Ordinarily I would have loved to have gone, but when he told me, my heart sank. I knew I had a long evening ahead of me.
Sure enough, when we got there, I couldn't focus on anything. I just kept thinking about what I should say and how I should say it.
We had a pizza afterwards and I could barely eat. I just wanted the night to be over. Johnny kept asking me what was wrong. I felt like such a cow. I realised I should probably have told him before we went out and spared us both the misery and the expense. He hadn't even let me pay for anything, which made me feel doubly bad. Finally we walked back to the car park, Johnny with his arm around me. The silence in the car pulsated with awkwardness. About halfway home, Johnny finally spoke.
‘What is it, Ellie? You've been quiet all evening. Are you feeling okay? Have I done something wrong?’
‘No, no nothing.’ I paused. ‘Johnny, I'm really sorry but I can't see you anymore.’ The words sounded worse out loud than they had in my head.
He didn't answer and I didn't dare look at him. I had my head down and started to feel car sick. We'd only met for about six dates in all, and they’d nearly all been with Abi and Samuel in tow, so I hadn’t imagined he would be too upset. Maybe just a bit of hurt pride. But even so, it still wasn't a very nice thing to do. Over the past four weeks, we’d kissed a lot but I hadn’t felt willing to do much else and he hadn’t pushed it, to my intense relief.
After a couple of minutes, Johnny spoke: ‘Is there anything I can say or do to make you change your mind?’
Oh no. ‘Johnny, I really like you, but I've met someone else. Nothing's happened,’ I hastily added. ‘I wouldn't see someone else behind your back.’ That sounded terrible. I racked my brain for something better to say, but I couldn't. I knew I wasn’t technically seeing Connor, but I didn’t want to complicate things and I knew Johnny would find out sooner or later anyway. I sneaked a glance at him. He looked really gutted and didn't say a word until he dropped me at my house.
‘I really liked you, Eleanor. I think we could have been good together.’
I couldn't look him in the eye.
‘Let me know if you change your mind.’
I was quite impressed he hadn't asked me who I’d ditched him for and I felt an unexpected tug of disappointment that I wouldn't be seeing him again.
‘I’m sorry,’ I replied inadequately, and went into the house feeling really down.
*
Finally, Monday evening came around. I‘d taken ages to get ready, even though I’d decided to dress down. Connor struck me as a jeans-and-t-shirt kind of boy and I guessed he wouldn’t be too into girls who wore tons of makeup. But it still took time to get the no-make-up look just perfect.
Connor took me to a pub on the banks of The River Severn. The warm evening breeze whispered across my skin, heightening my nervousness.
‘D’you want to get a table?’ he asked. ‘I’ll get the drinks.’
I made my way across the lawn of the pretty pub garden which sloped down onto the rippling water. It was busy, but I managed to get a table quite close to the river. I stared out across to the hills on the other side, not quite believing that Connor actually wanted to spend time with me. I hoped I wouldn’t embarrass myself by talking rubbish.
Ten minutes later, he put the drinks on the table, smiled and sat down opposite me. I couldn't believe how gorgeous he was.
‘Abi’s not very happy with me,’ I said.
‘No?’
‘No. I was supposed to be going out with her tonight. I feel a bit bad.’
‘Oh well, I’m sure she’ll cope.’
‘I don’t think so. You don’t know her very well. She’ll sulk for a week.’ I felt a bit disloyal talking about my friend like this. Connor reached across the table and ran his finger lazily up and down my forearm, making me draw in my breath.
‘You shouldn’t worry so much about what she thinks.’
‘I don’t! It’s just … well, you don’t know her properly.’ I pulled my arms back to my sides, instantly regretting it.
‘Okay, okay,’ he smiled, holding his hands up in surrender. ‘Just an observation. Don’t need to be defensive.’
‘I’m not.’ Then I smiled back, despite myself. He was so-o-o good-looking.
I loved his too-pale features which contrasted with almost black hair and dark eyes. His build was slim and lithe and he had the laid-back, easy-grace of an indie rock god. His cool confidence made me nervous, but it was irresistible.
When I’d told Abi how I felt about Connor, she’d turned up her nose.
‘What about Johnny?’ she’d said. ‘He’s the real catch. Connor’s just a baby and he’s too skinny.’
‘He’s not skinny! He’s athletic. And he’s three years older than us.’
‘Still a baby in boy years. You’re mad. Johnny’s such a babe - intelligent, rich and completely into you. He’s staying on this summer because of you, you know.’
‘No he isn’t, he’s got a work placement down here. I can’t help who I’m attracted to can I? And Johnny’s sweet, but he’s not really my type. Connor’s sexy and cool.’
‘Well Johnny’ll be devastated, and what about us? We were all supposed to go away together next half-term. You’re ruining our social life.’
Abi was really annoyed. She knew her grip on Samuel was loosening and now I’d ended it with Johnny she worried Sam would completely lose interest in her. Abi was always used to having the upper hand in her relationships.
The other black mark she had against Connor, was that he hadn’t been won over by her charms, which she’d turned on to maximum effect. She’d given him the full Abi treatment and it was like watching a master at work. But to my surprise (and intense relief) Connor hadn’t bought into her act at all. She actually irritated him and she knew it. This didn’t go down well with her at all. It made things tricky though, as it meant she wasn’t prepared to listen to me raving about him and so I had to walk a long tightrope between the two of them.
Chapter Ten
Riley
*
Once the Perimeter is a distant blur behind us, Luc gives me the all clear to come out from my hiding place. I unfold my body and slide back into the passenger seat. The heater’s warm air is now exchanged for a refreshing blast from the air conditioning. It may be September but now the sun’s up, it’s as hot as midsummer outside.
I take in the unfamiliar scenery - uneven scrubland, deserted shanties and packs of skinny, mangy dogs, lying in shady spots, their pink tongues lolling. The openness of everything unsettles me. I feel like an insignificant gnat about to be swal
lowed up by the vast landscape and I realise how much confidence and security the Perimeter provides. The genteel fuzzyfelt lawns, immaculate houses and straight roads of our everyday enclosed world that keep me safe.
It’s just over four miles from our Talbot Woods Perimeter to the Wessex Way, a sporadically-maintained road that will take us up to Ringwood and then on to Warminster. But we’re currently travelling on rough terrain. The Wessex Way used to stretch right into the heart of Bournemouth, but as the years go by, the army is less-and-less inclined to bother with its upkeep. Consequently, the road has shrunk as nature wins the battle.
The AV is well-equipped to deal with the scrub and overgrown woodland, but our progress is still snail-like. Rabbits bound and zigzag across our path with more speed than we’re able to muster. I look across at Luc with what must be a doubtful expression on my face, because he laughs.
‘Don’t worry,’ he says. ‘We’ll pick up some speed once we hit the Wessex Way. It’s mind-blowing out here, isn’t it?’
‘Amazing,’ I reply, too wired to really enjoy the surroundings. A million thoughts and worries flash through my mind. ‘Do you think the riots are still going on at Ringwood?’ I ask.
‘I don’t know. I’ve been worrying about that. If I knew a safer route I’d take it At least we don’t have to go directly through the Perimeter, so we should miss any trouble. And we’re safe enough in the AV. I’m sure it’ll be fine as long as we’re not there at night.’
We bump along across vast tracts of heather and gorse scrub and negotiate our way around dark stands of conifers. I’m riveted by the dramatic shape of a wind-blown pine - stunted and hunched as if frozen in fear.
Old bomb craters, reclaimed by nature, now blend into their natural surroundings as mossy banked dips and marshy pools. In less than two decades, the landscape has more-or-less reverted back to its natural state, most of it now scrub and overgrown woodland.
All the buildings making up the various Bournemouth conurbations have long since been destroyed; the remaining rubble and debris removed by scavengers either to sell on or re-build elsewhere. Somewhere safer and less desolate. Not a single brick remains.
It’s an ancient wilderness with only the odd violent nod towards civilisation - the shell of a burnt-out car, an upturned bus, a frayed rope hanging from a tree with a pile of bleached bones beneath it. I feel exposed and vulnerable, glad for the daylight. I don’t want to think about what it will feel like later, in the darkness.
A lone horseman materialises from nowhere. He gallops past, about two hundred yards from our AV. His head’s down low and his bay horse is slick with sweat. As he passes, he turns to look at us but Luc activates the blackout mode, so all he’ll see is his blurred reflection in our windows. He has a young face. He thunders off in the direction from where we’ve just come.
‘A messenger,’ says Luc.
There are no telecommunications these days. We’re privileged to have access to the Donovans’ radio communication system which links up the guards’ houses across the country but this sort of device is rare. Most people rely on the army for news, or the travelling horsemen who earn great sums to deliver mail to loved ones around the country and to pass on important messages.
I think about the dangers these riders face. They’re armed, but have nothing like the security we enjoy in our AV. And they’re prime targets, for who knows what important information or goods they might be carrying.
After forty minutes or so, the huge walled Charminster Compound looms ahead, sitting incongruously in the barren countryside. The outside wall must measure about twenty five feet high. Topped with razor wire, it’s a mish-mash of different bricks, some parts rendered and some parts exposed. It looks like a strange medieval town. A wide deep ditch runs around the outside and a sloping metal ramp at the entrance lies across the ditch, passing under two steel gates that have just swung open.
A convoy of metallic grey armoured buses crawls out of the compound, the sunlight glinting off their roofs. They’re the same as those that deliver the workers to the Perimeter and, sure enough, I recognise some of the faces behind the windows. Not all of the buses head in the direction of our Perimeter though and I wonder where the others are going.
‘The road we want is a couple of miles past the other side of the compound,’ says Luc.
I stare, open-mouthed at the huge circular structure, awed by its size. I never imagined it to be so enormous. I always assumed our Perimeter was much bigger than the Compound. But I see now it’s the other way around. I can’t conceive of the number of people who must live behind its walls. What do they all do?
‘Have you ever been in there?’ I ask.
‘A few times, but not on business. They use their own guards. Your Pa goes there a lot though.’
I can’t imagine Pa doing business there. I always picture him visiting a much smaller, less-intimidating compound where everyone treats him like royalty. But even my impressive Pa would get swallowed up in such a big space.
We carry on, driving around the outside walls towards the road. As we get further away from the main gates, we see hundreds of flimsy cardboard, cloth and corrugated metal huts all around the wall’s base - makeshift houses. They seem alright in this weather, but what happens when it rains? What about the winter months? People have cordoned off small rectangles of land to grow produce. Donkeys, ponies, goats and dogs are tethered to wooden posts. Children of all ages run around barefoot and dirty. Chickens scratch about in small wire pens.
Gypsy-looking men and women sit around on the baked mud earth, cooking whole skinned rabbits and unappetising black flatbread over open fires. They’ve nearly all got shotguns or more primitive weapons on their laps, even the children. Some of the people are horribly maimed with limbs or eyes missing. A lot of the adults have terrible scarring on their faces – a legacy of the bombings before I was born. Hardly anyone pays attention to our blacked-out AV. One or two people glance up with disdain on their faces. No one tries to approach us.
Ron Chambers used to live in this towering compound. I wonder what his house is like. Does he have any friends inside these walls? Suddenly I know it’s vital we go and see where he lived. I need to go inside and see if it sheds any light on his whereabouts. I can’t believe our plans haven’t included a visit to his old place. I know the guards and the army checked it out and found nothing, but now I decide I have to see it for myself.
‘Going in there won’t help us to find him,’ Luc says. ‘I promise you the guards will have turned his place inside out. If we go in, someone’ll recognise us and we could get sent back to the Perimeter.’
‘I’ll wear your baseball cap and you can just keep your head down. We’ll be fine.’
‘There’s no point, Riley. He won’t have left a map with an X marking his destination.’
‘Please. I really think we need to. Somebody might know where he’s gone. Aren’t you curious?’
I know Luc’s being rational and thinking of our safety, but he eventually capitulates and turns the AV around. We drive over the noisy metal ramp up to the now firmly closed main gates.
Our first destination was supposed to be the Century Barracks at Warminster. Luc’s parents know the soldiers there and Luc’s sure they’ll offer us hospitality. We’re going to try to find the two soldiers who saw Chambers and get as much information from them as we can. Then we’ll head across to the West Country, stopping at perimeters and compounds, asking people if they’ve seen a man of his description.
Luc’s got a copy of the circulated picture of Chambers so we’ll show it to people we meet in the hope they recognise him. But Luc and I both agree that he’d probably have cut his hair and shaved his beard by now, which will make finding him that much harder.
I realise Luc’s speaking to me again, asking me if he should beep the horn to attract someone’s attention. Before I have time to answer, a small metal door opens and a guard carrying a machine gun walks up to Luc’s window and knoc
ks on the glass. Luc buzzes his window down. As he does so, we get a blast of uncomfortable heat, unexpected after the cool of the air-conditioning. But worse than the heat is an awful stomach-churning rotting smell. I almost gag. It must come from the compound itself, or from the people who dwell outside in its shadow. Luc doesn’t flinch, but palms the guard a couple of silver bits.
‘We're here to barter,’ Luc tells the guard.
‘You’ll have to leave the vehicle here, Sir.’
‘Can I leave it inside the walls?’
‘No.’
‘We’ll only be about an hour,’ says Luc, passing him another couple of bits.
‘Wait here.’ He goes back inside and one of the gates creaks open. Another guard signals to us to park within the compound in a parking space off to the left.
Although we’re now inside the gates, we’re still outside the main walls. We’ve stopped in what appears to be a vast entrance area, a parking lot. I assume the other huge set of gates opens up to the main town. Luc locks the AV and we look around to see where we should go.
‘What’s that gross smell?’ I ask.
‘Shh. Most places outside our Perimeter smell like this. It’s how people live. In squalor mainly.’
I get that feeling of inadequacy again. There are so many things about this trip I’m not prepared for. I half-wish I hadn’t suggested coming in here now. The smell of the place makes me think I’ve seen enough and the rows and rows of vehicles are a strange sight, making me feel dizzy. But I can’t change my mind after making such a fuss to come here in the first place.
We don’t see either of the guards, so we thread our way through the cars towards the other set of gates. Most of the parked vehicles are little more than rusted heaps that don’t look as if they’ll be going anywhere ever again.
Luc holds out his hand and I take it, feeling self-conscious. His skin is cool and firm. As well as the massive gates, there are also several small entrances up ahead with uniformed guards stationed at each one, but strangely all I can think about is the feel of my hand in Luc’s.