“All right, Cat. You’ve gotten me out in this dreadful heat, what is it that you want?” she said after finishing her first glass.
I took a healthy gulp of my wine before replying. “I’m going to have sex with Bones tonight, and I want to make sure I’ve got all my bases covered.”
Her wineglass almost fell from her hand. “Indeed?”
“You’re not invited to join in,” I continued pleasantly. “I’d like you to make a magnanimous gesture, Annette. One you get no personal gratification out of.”
Both her perfectly shaped brows rose. “You’re not making sense, dear.”
“Fine, I’ll cut to the chase. No one knows more about fucking Bones than you do, and I want him happy. Since he doesn’t have love to fall back on if sex with me is mundane, I want to make sure I’m pushing the right buttons with him. So, are you going to help me or not?”
Annette was speechless for a few moments before she laughed, loud and merry. “Oh, Cat! What you don’t realize is that right now you are exactly like Crispin. This is just what he would do, given similar circumstances.”
“Is that a yes?”
She stifled her laughter, but that gleam was still in her eyes. “The most effective method of instruction is demonstration.”
“The day I grow balls,” I said sweetly. “Verbal only. Yea or nay?”
“Yes.” Her lips kept twitching. “You start. Tell me what the two of you normally do, and then I’ll tell you what you’ve been neglecting.”
And that’s how I ended up detailing my sexual history to Bones’s ex-girlfriend, using concise descriptions and leaving nothing out. After fifteen minutes, the amusement had left her and her eyes had started to fleck with emerald.
“Well? What am I missing?”
Annette finished her wine before pouring herself another. She kept giving me sideways glances as she drank, until finally she just stared. “Do you know I’ve been under the impression that you were straitlaced? You act that way, and while I knew you were passionate—blimey, I have ears—I didn’t realize you were such a dirty little vixen!”
She said it accusingly, like I’d been holding out on her. I took another gulp of my own wine and shrugged. “You know Bones. I used to be straitlaced. He got around that.”
“So it seems.” She shook her head. “Faith, this won’t take long. You’ve no interest in ways to pleasure him with another woman, so I can only suggest three things…”
The items she rattled off almost made me blush. The first I hadn’t considered since he was a vampire and I didn’t think it pertained, the second was flat-out embarrassing, and the third… well. We’d see.
“Hmmm,” was all I said.
She gave me an arch look. “Even so.”
We didn’t say anything for another minute, both of us drinking our wine.
All of a sudden, I started to laugh. “Can you imagine what he’d say if Bones had his memory back and he came upon the two of us discussing the best ways to have sex with him?”
Annette laughed as well. “He’d swear I drugged your wine. He’s so bloody protective of you.”
Just as quickly, my eyes filled with tears. Yeah, he’d loved me so much that he used to be crazy protective. It had been annoying at times. Now I’d kill to have it again.
She set down her glass and slid across the small blanket. Even as I waved her away, she put her arms around me. “You poor girl,” she said softly. “Despite our differences, I know how much you love him. And somewhere deep inside him, past this blockage, he knows it too. There’s no spell that can erase that.”
Then I did the second most unusual thing I’d ever done with Annette. I let her comfort me as I cried.
***
The next time Bones came home, I wasn’t hiding away upstairs. I was in a chair by the foyer, a half-full glass of gin and tonic next to me. I’d been sipping conservatively, which wasn’t what I wanted to do. I’d have downed two bottles of straight gin, left to my own devices, but reeking of liquor didn’t lend to a romantic mood.
He saw me as he took off his coat, coming closer with it draped over his arm instead of putting it in the closet. He wore a royal-blue shirt, the deep color setting off his creamy skin. His pants were black, but that was his norm. Years ago, he’d told me he had better things to do than mix and match his tops with trousers.
“Catherine.”
Just the way he said my name made my heartbeat speed up. When he leaned down, brushing his lips across my cheek, it sped up even more.
Wherever he and Mencheres went during the day, it had shower facilities. He was freshly washed and smelled like soap, male, and his own natural scent. The combination was better than cologne.
Behind him, Mencheres gave me a quick, approving nod. He’d probably just filched from my mind what my intentions were. Then the Egyptian vampire melted up the stairs without saying a word. Spade and Denise were on the other side of the house, and Annette was out seeing a movie. Who said she couldn’t be gracious once in a while?
“I, ah, wanted to talk to you,” I said as I stood up and indicated the nearby den.
“Of course.”
He laced his fingers in mine as we walked. If only this didn’t feel so awkward. Or if I were rip-roaring drunk.
“It’s nice to see you,” Bones went on. “I’ve thought of you all day, as usual.”
“Stop.” I pulled my hand free as I shut the den’s door behind us.
“Stop what?”
“You don’t have to say that. What I mean is, you don’t have to try to seduce me. I’ve decided to, um, let you out of the doghouse.”
Part of me had thought he’d hear that, throw me over his shoulder, and run for the nearest bed. Or, as had happened before, just get busy right where we were. Bones didn’t do either.
Instead, a smile tugged at his mouth. “Waving the white flag, are you?”
I threw up my hands. “It just seems fair. You could die for sticking it out with me, and you’re very well aware of that. Hell, I’d be demanding some recompense, if I were you. And I know you’re not celibate out of preference, so… bar’s open.”
That drew outright laughter. By the time he reined it in, my foot was tapping in irritation.
“I apologize, luv, but that was priceless. Bar’s open? I’ll bear that in mind. Are you hungry?”
My foot quit tapping. “Are you being sleazy and metaphorical?”
He didn’t burst out laughing again, but from his twitching mouth, it was close. “No, I meant literally. Have you eaten supper yet?”
“Well, no.” In all my apprehension, I’d skipped that.
He gave me an appraising look, his tongue tracing inside his bottom lip. “Right, then, let’s be off.”
He grasped my hand and led me out of the den. When we reached the front door, I stopped.
“What are you doing?”
He gave me a tolerant look. “Can’t even remember the last time we went out for fun, can you? No wonder you look so confused. I’m taking you to dinner, Catherine. Alone.”
That last word was practically a dare for anyone in the house to try to stop him. So I played the part of Spade and Mencheres.
“We can’t, it’s not safe. Someone could spot us and tell Gregor, not to mention I can’t know where we are. Jeez, if you’re not in the mood, just tell me! You don’t have to go all crazy.”
He laughed again, but this time it was filled with more than humor. Green pinpointed in his eyes and he moved closer until my retreat was blocked by the door.
“My dear, sweet wife, I want you terribly. As to the dangers of going out, you’ve gotten good at keeping your eyes closed. If there’s immediate trouble, I have my mobile and we won’t be going far. Besides”—his smile turned wicked—“we haven’t even had a proper date yet. What bloke puts out without that? Blimey, I don’t know what sort you think I am.”
***
Bones took me to a chain restaurant. Smart, since it would have locations nationwide. Since it
was the dinner hour, a long line of people waited to get in, but Bones just flashed his eyes at the hostess and we were given the next table.
I didn’t look at the menu. Or the cars in the parking lot, license plates having too much information. I kept my concentration on him, and he made that easy. He sat next to me instead of across from me, touching my arm, back, or hand in casual ways that made me barely able to chew, and he never once let the conversation pause. I’d almost forgotten how charming he could be. It didn’t escape the notice of several females in the vicinity either, who kept throwing him interested glances. I reminded myself that there was nothing wrong with looking. Flinging my fork into some chick’s forehead for checking him out was undeserved. And too flashy. We’d definitely have to cut our evening short if I did that.
Bones didn’t eat since solid food wasn’t his preference, so he drank whiskey and encouraged me to eat everything on my plate. Over my objections, he also ordered dessert and goaded me into eating that too. Since it was a brownie with ice cream and chocolate sauce, I didn’t require much persuading. When I finally put my fork down, he let out an amused snort.
“Heavy-lidded eyes and a sated smile. Not the way I’d imagined seeing it, but lovely nonetheless. There’s one bite left.”
I was too stuffed to do more than look at it. “It’s good, you should have it.”
“All right,” he said at once.
Maybe I didn’t guess his intention because I was in the mildly dazed state of overeating. Or perhaps I was lulled by his easy charm. What I should have remembered was that this was Bones. There was only so long his chasteness would last.
His mouth came down on mine, his hand on the back of my neck keeping me from jerking away in surprise. I gasped at the contact, and he took my parted lips as an invitation. His tongue swept past my lips, deepening the kiss with a skillful sensuality that had me gasping for a different reason. My head tilted back as he explored my mouth with unhurried thoroughness, and when I slid my tongue along his, he sucked on it with erotic hunger.
Sensations hijacked my sensibilities. The taste of whiskey on his tongue. His hand on my neck, pulling me closer. My nipples hardening when our bodies met. The race of my pulse, increasing with every second. And his throaty moan when my hand moved farther up his thigh—
I yelped, snatching my hand away as color rushed to my face. I’d been about three inches from feeling him up in a crowded restaurant. What was the matter with me?
Bones’s eyes snapped open when I broke away, revealing that they’d changed from dark brown to bright green. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I repeated. “I’m a dirty tramp, that’s what’s wrong!”
Several heads turned. Oops, said that too loud. I sank lower in my seat, wishing the ground would swallow me.
Bones laughed, low and throaty. “I’m breaking your rule, Catherine, because I’m going to compliment you again. You’re even more beautiful when you blush. You’ll have me racking my brain thinking up ways to make you do it again.”
“Believe me, you already have,” I muttered, cursing my heated cheeks.
The waitress stopped by with the check, casting disapproving looks at both of us before hurrying away. First making out at the table, then me howling out my lack of morality. I hoped Bones left her a big tip.
“Let’s go, okay? I think I’ve done enough damage.”
His eyes had been marbling back to brown, but at that, they flashed green. “Feeling your response means more to me than anyone in this place, so sod them. I’ve been afraid that my actions had killed any real desire you had for me. Oh, I knew you fancied the look of me, but that’s not the same. I can’t decide if I’m more switched on or relieved, and believe me, luv, I have never been so aroused.”
He almost whispered the last sentence. Not for propriety, since as stated, he didn’t care about that, but because the words were more emphatic softer. All the while, his gaze drilled into mine until I felt stripped both physically and emotionally, and I scrambled to get control of myself.
“Okay, well, we can leave. If you’re, ah, ready to go to bed.”
Bones leaned back, eying me now with calculation. “Think you’ll keep me at bay by shagging me? Wrong. I want you, not just your flesh, though I confess a strong desire for that too. I’ll wait to have you until it is you. You won’t make me settle for anything less.”
“Are you sure you don’t have your memory back?” I snapped. “Because you sound just like you did the day you left me!”
As soon as the words left me, I clapped a hand over my mouth. I’d just ripped open a wound that had barely scabbed, and from his immediate pounce, he knew it.
“It wasn’t only Gregor between us, was it? Did you do this before? Shield yourself away from me?”
“People are waiting for this table.” I stalled, looking around to avoid his gaze.
It didn’t work. “You don’t want to have this conversation back at the house with a dozen eavesdroppers any more than I do. Here and now, Catherine, let’s sort this out.”
He’d never let it go. Not Bones, king of seeing things through to the end.
“I’ll need a gallon of gin for this,” I grumbled while trying to move away from him. At least I could get a little physical distance if he was about to rip apart my emotional barriers.
Bones eyed me before slapping money on the table. Then he grasped my hand. “Gallon of gin, you say? I know just the place.”
He led me out of the restaurant and I shut my eyes once we reached the parking lot, following the tug on my hand to the car. Once in it, I concentrated on the song playing instead of noises from nearby places. It was an old one, “Under Pressure” by Queen, and I could relate to the lyrics. I was under pressure too, and it was about to get worse.
Bones didn’t drive long before we stopped. He opened my door and took my hand again. Even these small touches affected me, bringing out a stinging longing. It was so weird to miss someone when they were right next to you.
“Open your eyes,” he said after he led me inside.
The neon Budweiser sign was the first thing I saw. We were at a noisy, boisterous bar. At least I didn’t feel underdressed as I had at dinner. My button-down shirt and jeans fit right in here.
Bones took us over to the bar. “Gin, top-shelf, the entire bottle.”
Money changing hands cleared up the bartender’s objection. I was too nervous over our upcoming discussion to be embarrassed by that little scene. When Bones led me to a table at the far end of the bar, I took the bottle from him and began to drink.
Bones waited until my third deep swallow before he spoke. “Did you hold yourself back from me the entire time we were together?”
My hands trembled on the bottle, which I gripped like a lifeline. Still, I refused to lie. “Yeah, pretty much.”
“Why?”
Such a simple question. So impossible to answer.
I sighed. “Different reasons for different circumstances. When we first met, it was because I hated vampires and you were one of them. Years later, after you found me, I had fears about my job, my mother, and you wanting me to change over. Then finding out that I was, like, the thirty thousandth woman you’d slept with. Always running into your exes was a little hard to swallow, and—”
“Who told you that number?” he interrupted, astonished.
I took a few more gulps before answering. “You did.”
Both his brows went up.
I nodded in confirmation. “I asked, and you said about three to four women a week was your average before me. Multiply that by your age, and there you have it.”
“Bugger,” he swore. “Don’t know what I was thinking, revealing such a thing to my wife.” He gave me another appraising sweep of his eyes, as if measuring what had made him tell me that.
I was glad for the switch in topics and plowed ahead. “You also said you considered your virginity lost in stages of four.”
His brows went higher. “I told you
that too? Did you pump me full of truth serum one night? Is that how you got me gabbing like a teenage girl?”
“Some of the things you told me weren’t to be believed, but you swore they were true. Like the time you were a whore and after a particularly busy night, you faked a hard-on with a new client by using your fingers to keep your cock straight. Now that I could imagine, but you said the woman never knew—”
“Clearly I opened up to you in a very personal way.” He cut me off, resolve replacing the disbelief in his expression. “Everyone tells me I was deeply in love with you. The things you know, like my mother’s perfume and other stories I’ve never shared, only solidify that. Yet you admit to holding me at arm’s length, and you still haven’t said why.”
I almost choked on my gin. The spotlight was back on me, with reinforcements.
Bones stared at me, waiting. Around us, people drank and danced and fought and had their own problems. In the grand scheme of things, one wobbly marriage didn’t matter except to the two people in it.
“I don’t know why,” I said at last, very softly. “It seemed like every time I opened up, something bad happened and I’d need my shields to get me through it. I almost jumped off a cliff when I thought you were dead, and Vlad had to talk me down. That’s what happens when I let myself go. I can’t stand to need you so much, so… I hold back. Just enough. Then if you’re gone, I can still function, no matter the reason why you’re not there.”
A small, twisting smile pulled at his mouth. “Never value something with more than you can afford to lose. Yes, I understand that very well. It’s what I’ve lived by all these years, so it appears I married someone just like me. I suppose it’s fitting.”
We didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I drank while those brown orbs bored into mine whenever I met them, which wasn’t often. Finally, he slid his hand across the table, palm up.
“Let’s agree to stop, both of us. Take my hand, Catherine. No more safety net, no shields. We’ll let each other in, though it will mean living a life as dangerous as it gets. Are you with me?”