Jason howled in pain and anger. He grabbed Lank and jumped out of bed. Jason ran to the bathroom, slapping the light switch, and slamming open the toilet lid. He threw Lank as hard as he could into the toilet. Water splashed up in a plume.
Lank floated on his back, looking up at the human. He saw Jason’s hand push down on the silver handle and he began to spin around uncontrollably. Lank tried to get his head above the rushing water, but was disoriented by the swirling and the sudden blackness.
Jason looked to the bathroom counter just in time to see Garl swing his war hammer. The human threw up his arm, just in time to deflect the blow. He cried out again, falling to his knees, and holding the wounded elbow. Jason looked up to see Garl running off the edge of the counter, with war hammer held high above his head. Jason snatched Garl out of mid jump, squeezing Garl as hard as he could.
“I got somewhere good for you.” Jason snarled and stomped out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Garl struggled against Jason’s grip. The little creature’s wooden hammer was wrapped inside the human hand and could not break loose. He pounded his free fist on the hand wrapped around him.
Jason clumsily raised his injured arm and turned on the light over the sink and then turned on the water. Jason shoved Garl into the disposal head first, pushing and shoving at Garl with his fingers. The green creature fought back and tried to push his way back out of the darkness. Once crammed down into the hole, Jason covered the opening with a flat fanned out hand. He flipped the switch and the disposal roared to life. Thumps bounced up and pounded against Jason’s hand and then nothing, but the loud whir of the disposal.
~~~~~~~~~~
The same middle aged doctor leaned over Jason’s leg with the eight inch slice running above the knee. He cleaned the wound with some alcohol and was now spreading iodine over the length of the wound. “Well, this cut is not very deep.” The doctor plopped down on his rolling exam chair and looked up at the face of Jason that was twisted in discomfort. “It’s a clean cut. Looks like you used a very sharp blade.”
“It was sharp.”
“What did you use, a kitchen knife?”
“Oh! No! It wasn’t me.” Jason looked down at the doctor, shaking his head. Jason was stumped by the quizzical look staring back at him, “Honestly, I didn’t do this to myself.”
The doctor swiveled around to the tray with supplies and utensils and picked up a small cardboard with white strips of tape. “The wound isn’t deep, so surgical tape will keep it closed, while it heals, but you are going to have a scar.”
Once the tape was applied, the doctor took Jason’s bruised elbow in hand. He moved it slowly back and forth. Jason winced, but the joint rotated smoothly. “Your elbow isn’t broken, just deeply bruised.” The doctor stood up and moved over to the counter. He leaned against the edge, while tapping away on the tablet.
The doctor put the tablet back on the counter and crossed his arms. This was a scenario he was never comfortable addressing. The patient always denies there is a problem, “Look Jason, how about you tell me what happened.”
Jason scooted to the edge of the table. He straightened his leg and relaxed it, to feel the surgical tape and the cut. “I know it sounds crazy, but I’m being attacked by these little green goblins.” Jason looked up at the doctor to read his reaction. The doctor was a statue. “They go around inflicting pain on humans. They do it for sport. They did this to me.” Jason waved his hand over his leg, “They used a spear to slice my leg.” Jason held his elbow. “Another used a medieval war hammer to hit me in the elbow.”
“Where are they now?”
“I flushed one down the toilet and stuffed the other in the disposal.”
Looking Jason over, the doctor could see his sincerity. “I know this seems real to you.”
Jason groaned and dropped back on the table.
“Hear me out please,” The doctor walked over to Jason, “There’s no such thing as goblins. They are fantasy.” This is the part he hated. He helped Jason up to a sitting position. “What I have seen are people who become overwhelmed by their lives. You work for the state, right?”
“Yeah, Health and Welfare Department.”
“That’s a really stressful job. Maybe it has started getting to you.” Jason was being quiet and listening. The doctor thought he might be getting through to him. “I’ve seen people who get overwhelmed and deal with it in bad ways. Some drink, others do drugs, some cut themselves.”
Jason laughed under his breath and flopped his head up and down in acknowledgement.
“I’ve also seen where people lash out by hitting something and they end up hurting themselves.” He paused to try and make eye contact with Jason. “Did you try swinging your arm at something like a wall really hard, trying to break it?”
Jason only looked at the floor. Anything he said would be pointless.
The doctor stepped back from Jason. He knew he had lost him. He picked up a note pad and took out a pen. He scribbled a name and phone number down and tore off the page. Holding the paper out to Jason, he sympathized, “I really am trying to help. Unfortunately, it’s not my area of expertise. I would like you to call Janell Rafferty. She’s a good counselor. She can help you deal with your stress.”
Jason reached out and took the paper. He slid off the table and turned around to pull his pants off the exam table.
“I’ll let you get dressed. I’ll leave your prescription at the front with some dressings for your cut.” The doctor grabbed his tablet and walked out.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason’s work day was two hours and a few minutes from being over. He could not take being at his desk anymore and decided to wait out the rest of his day hidden in the break room. As soon as he walked in this morning all eyes were on him. It did not help he came in over an hour late and everyone was staring at his war wounds. The looks made his head throb harder and his limp more painful. He had to make a full report to his supervisor, Mara, but left out the part about little green goblins and made up some story about dropping a big knife. Tiffany teased that Dana beat him up and she gave him a phone number to an abuse hot line. His co-workers wandered by his desk. Some tried to be sincere. Others had to joke about his condition. Some even tried to feign surprise and claim they knew nothing. You had to be dead not to hear gossip in this office.
The only quiet place in the office was the break room. It was small. There were three long tables set in a U shape, all crowded with chairs. A person had to hug the wall to get around to the far side of the tables. Jason was sitting inside the U, hunched over trying to lose himself in the newspaper comics.
A crunch, crunch moved across the newspaper pieces that were spread across the break room tables. Jason lifted his head and was eye to eye with Lank and Garl. “Ah crap.” He lurched back in his chair.
“Hey kid,” Garl greeted him with a low growl, “how ya doin?”
“What do you mean, ‘how ya doin?’ You should know.” Jason glanced at the break room door. It was closed. He glanced at the clock. It was still fifteen minutes before most of the office would take a break. He hoped someone would walk in early.
Lank patted gently at the air in front of him and took a couple of steps forward, “Take it easy. We just came to thank you.”
“Thank me? What the hell for!?”
Garl stepped forward, just in front of Lank, “Normally a hunting group only gets one shot at a human and they are done, but the lodge is all excited about how insane and paranoid you look to the other humans.”
Lank took a few steps back, “Yeah. We’re gonna get Hunters of the Year because of you.”
“That’s right and the lodge wants to see how far we can take this.”
Jason screwed up his face in confusion, “How far you can take this?”
Garl dropped his hammer on its head in front of him and placed his hands on top of the handle, “The lodge wants to see how much pain and how much paranoia we can cause you. There are bets going on to see if you end up in a nut house.??
?
Jason leaned forward, fire in his eyes, “I won’t go down. I’ll fight you.” A sadistic grimace crossed his face, “I’ll tear you guys apart.”
The same sadistic grin crossed Garls face. Just barely loud enough for Jason to hear, he said, “The prey wants to play.”
A green blur appeared behind Garl that planted a long skinny green foot on his broad solid shoulder. Jason registered the blur as Lank just in time to lean back. Lank flew through the air, with his spear held high and pointed at Jason’s face, but his flight was stopped just out of reach of Jason’s nose, by Jason’s hand.
“Nice try, Lank. Garl tried this same move last night.”
It was now Lank’s turn with a sadistic grin, “We know.”
Jason looked down at the table. Garl was in full swing flying to Jason’s chest. Jason could not react quick enough. He willed his body to dodge the incoming attack but was frozen. Garl’s war hammer swung from around his body and connected with Jason’s lower left ribs. He felt a pop and was pushed backwards in the chair. The motion stopped with a jarring thud on the concrete carpeted floor.
Lying on his back, Jason couldn’t breathe. His muscles locked. His face turned purple and hot. With a sudden explosion he blew out all his air and sucked back in more. He lay on the chair panting. In his tight grasp, Lank was looking down at Jason’s face.
Garl called from the edge of the table, “I told you he would grab you!” Garl jumped off and landed on Jason’s sliced leg. Their prey let out a yelp.
The hand holding Lank prisoner flopped to the floor and he rolled out and up to his feet. Lank strolled over to his prey’s face. Garl appeared next to him.
Garl leaned against his war hammer, “I owed you for shoving me down the disposal. Took me forever to stop being dizzy.”
Lank leaned into Jason’s view, “I still owe you for flushing me down the toilet.” He straightened up and drove his spear into Jason’s shoulder, with one hand and yanked the spear back out. Jason winced in pain. Lank leaned back in, “Now we’re even.”
The two goblins turned and walked away. Garl waved back at Jason, “See ya tonight kid! We’re gonna have some fun!”
Jason tried to move, but it was too painful. The break room door opened and Tom strolled in, “Let’s see what there is to ransack from the fridge.” Tom stopped in mid-stride when he saw the wreckage on the floor out of the corner of his eye. He turned and dropped to his knees next to Jason, “What happened?!”
“Got knocked out of the chair,” Jason groaned.
“How?” Tom asked, amazed.
“Little green goblins.”
Tom sat back on his legs and chuckled, “That’s a good one.” Tom noticed blood spreading on Jason’s shoulder. Lying on the ground next to his shoulder was a paring knife from the break room. “So did one of the goblins stab you in the shoulder also?”
“Yeah. You want to help me up now?”
“Oh yeah, sure.” Tom grabbed Jason’s left arm and started to drag him up.
“AH,” Groaning in pain, “I think I broke some ribs.”
Tom shifted to where he could pick Jason up by both shoulders. He slowly lifted the injured man and placed him in an upright chair. Tom knelt down in front of Jason, “Are you OK? Did you hit your head again? Are you feeling dizzy?”
“No.” Jason said, slowly moving his head around.
“I’m going to get help. Don’t move.” Tom got up and ran out of the room.
Tom returned with Mara, Jason’s supervisor; Jill, the office manager; and several on lookers. It was decided Jason was in no shape to be at work. The consensus was that Jason was overcome with dizziness and fell backwards in the chair. By some strange poor luck, Jason had dragged the paring knife down with him and it landed in his shoulder. Jason was ordered home and was put on leave, until he had clearance from his doctor to work again. Jason could do little to argue the point. He was in a lot of pain and knew Lank and Garl had no problems with making a scene that made him look crazy.
~~~~~~~~~~
Tiffany drove Jason back to the doctor. He did break two of his ribs and this time he needed stitches for the cut on his shoulder. The doctor was more concerned about the continued harm Jason inflicted on himself. He recommended Jason check into the hospital for observation, but Jason refused. He was adamant that he was not harming himself. He also knew observation was exactly where his little hunters wanted him. They would torture him for everyone to see and then he would be committed to a psychiatric ward. Jason decided the only thing he could do was face Garl and Lank in private.
When Tiffany dropped Jason off, he assured her he would be fine and was just going to rest. In his apartment he locked all the doors and windows. He called and left a message for Dana, explaining he was really tired and was going to sleep and would talk to her in the morning. Jason then cleared a corner of his bedroom to sit. He prepared himself for a long night, with some propped up pillows and blankets. He had water and snacks and kept a butcher knife and a hammer next to him. He also found some fishing line to tie up his tormentors.
Jason waited. After about two hours in his corner he decided to watch some television. A couple of hours more and he needed to go to the bathroom. Carefully and slowly he made his way to the bathroom, all the while checking under furniture, in corners, and behind doors. When he returned to his corner he thoroughly searched through the blankets and provisions. He was safe. There were no little green goblins. Jason made himself comfortable in the corner and watched more television.
Sometime after three in the morning, Jason was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open. He slowly slumped down and then over on his side. He kept trying to open his eyes to see the television. He was interested in the show about green men with medieval weapons.
Jason’s eyes popped open wide and he jumped up to a sitting position, just as Garl’s war hammer slammed into the floor, where his head was. Lank ran at Jason with spear held in front of him.
Jason dropped his own hammer down on Lank, “Ha! I got my own hammer ya freaks!” Jason slammed the hammer into him again. He slowly lifted the hammer to peer at Lank. The skinny goblin looked like a little animal that had been run over by a bicycle tire.
Garl stared in disbelief at the smashed body of his hunting partner. He tried to fathom that a human was actually fighting back. He heard the rush of air of the swinging hammer. He snapped out of his pondering and barely dodged out of the way of Jason’s weapon.
Lank stood up and shook his entire body. He ran at Jason again. Jason grabbed at Lank, but the front of the little spear imbedded in his hand. Jason instinctively reacted jerking his hand away and tossed Lank across the room. Lank smack against the wall and bounced off.
Jason howled in pain and looked at his ankle, where Garl landed his war hammer. Jason kicked at the round Goblin, who jumped over the swinging leg and landed between his feet. He took a long arching swing and connected with the inside of the human’s knee. Jason quickly picked him up and tossed him over next to Lank.
Together the goblins got up and ran back at Jason. He swiped at the green hunters with the butcher knife. Their fronts split open and they fell to the ground. Jason grabbed Garl. The round goblin’s stomach wound was sealing closed. Garl looked up at Jason, “See, I told ya we can’t be killed by your world’s weapons.” The round Goblin twisted around, swinging his war hammer again, this time slamming it into the human’s forearm. Jason dropped Garl, but quickly grabbed the Goblin with his other hand.
Jason shook and pumped his hand into a fist a couple of times. He picked up the fishing line and began spinning line around Garl, “Maybe you can’t be killed, but I know human stuff can hurt you and it can hold you.”
Jason furiously wrapped Garl tight with the line. A sharp pain shot through his abdomen. Glancing down, Jason saw the line of blood where Lank swiped with his spear. Anger flushed through Jason’s body. He smashed Garl flat against the carpet and snatched up Lank, who was running for cover under the bed. r />
Holding the spear, while the skinny goblin dangled in mid-air, Jason leaned over against the wall and jammed the spear into the light socket near him and jerked back as sparks spewed from the holes. Lank’s body did a spastic dance. Sparks continued to shoot out and shower down on Lank. Smoke wafted up from the socket and from the burning creature.
A silent pop shot through the room and everything went dark. The television was blank. The alarm clock next to the bed was dead. The lights were out. There were no more sparks. Lank’s singed limp body flopped to the floor, like a bag of dirty rags.
Jason picked up the still bundled Garl. The round Goblin had stopped trying to free himself and was staring at his limp friend. He kept waiting for Lank to move. He wondered if the human actually killed him. Jason wrapped several more loops of fishing line around Garl and tied knots on top of knots, making sure he could not get loose. Jason pulled himself up to his knees and opened his bedroom window. With the butcher knife he sliced open the screen and dropped Garl through. Jason fed the line down several feet, so Garl was trapped between two apartment floors. Jason shut the window on the remaining line holding the goblin in place.
Jason turned and slid back down the wall, into his corner. He sat there for several minutes, holding his bleeding stomach with his bleeding hand. He looked over at the wall socket. Around the socket was black and singed. On the floor, there was no goblin. Lank had disappeared. Jason looked around the room and under the bed. He could not see any little goblins.
This fight was over and Jason had survived. One of the goblins was barbeque and the other was bait for birds. He did not care, so long as they were gone. He carefully and slowly lowered himself onto his bed and fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours later, Jason was awakened by his front door slamming shut. He could do little more than twitch in response to the sound. He decided it did not matter who was coming for him, he had no more fight. They could either torture him or put him in a psychiatric ward.
There was movement through the door of his bedroom. He opened one eye to see Dana. “Good Lord!” She dropped her purse on the floor and rushed to the bed.
“Ah … Ahh” Jason groaned in anticipation of being hurt.