Pale Reflection
by
James Bailey
* * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Pale Reflection
Copyright 2011 by James Bailey
[email protected] https://mywritingaspiration.blogspot.com/
*****
Sam sat and stared at the body of his mother lying on the bed in front of him. Her cold skin felt clammy and strange to touch. Someone had tried to close her eyes earlier but they had remained half open, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Son, don't be afraid now. Your mother will be back with us soon, they are just finishing the transfer in the next room." Sam's father said with a smile.
Sam looked at the body and tried to understand how his mother could simply be replaced like that. Sam had seen her dying yesterday in the kitchen, clutching her chest as she sank to the floor, heart finally giving out. As she fell she had reached out to him, gasping for breath.
"Call an ambulance! I don't want to die!" She choked out as she dropped to her knees.
Sam's father had watched dispassionately from Sam's side as she fell, he had been expecting this to happen. Some weeks earlier Sam's parents had sat down and explained to him that his mother was sick and that she would likely have to change bodies soon. He had been taught from birth that death was not the end for anyone any more, new technology meant that all you had to do was regularly enter a local MemStore center to upload your recent memories and personality changes and you could live free and happy in the knowledge that should you die you would simply be restored in a fresh identical body.
Sam's mother was suffering from a form of heart disease that was no longer cost effective to cure. Cancer and many other terminal illnesses were no longer researched, it was far cheaper to simply transfer a persons consciousness into a new body when theirs succumbed to the disease. Despite this all forms of euthanasia were banned, too many people took advantage of the system early on to get a new body when they perceived some flaw in their existing one. Sam's mother had simply had to wait to die, updating her MemStore daily so as to reemerge as close to her original as possible. Sam's father was already on to his third body Sam had been told, losing two to reckless accidents as a teenager.
"This isn't your mother any more Sam this is just a thing now. A body that is holding memories that your real mother won't have when she comes out of the tank." Sam's father said holding the boy back.
"But she is suffering dad, can't I hold her hand?" Sam asked as the body of his mother reached out to him from the floor.
"No! You need to understand Sam that once you know a body is dying it is no longer a person. The consciousness and memories it carries are dead, nothing. You need to learn to feel no emotions for it. Your real mother will be reborn tomorrow if they aren't too busy at MemStore. This is simply a sack of meat that will need to be picked up and disposed of." Sam's father said sternly. "I'll call the hospital, you stay here and watch."
Sam stood and stared as the body of his mother lapsed into unconsciousness, listening as his father called an ambulance to collect the body.
That was two hours ago, now Sam stood next to the dead body of his mother struggling to understand that this was no longer the woman that had brought him up over the past nine years.
"Dad, how do I know the new mum will be the same as my old mum?" Sam asked, not taking his eyes off of the face of his dead mother.
His father sighed, "Sam I have told you already. She will look exactly the same, better even, healthier. Everything that is in her mind is being transferred over into the new body right now." Sam's father said, tapping his head.
"But how do we know that Dad? How do we know they won't miss something. Mum wasn't just a bunch of stuff on a computer. What about Heaven? Will there be lots of you and Mum in heaven from every time you die?" Sam asked, turning to his father.
Sam's father frowned. "Who have you been talking to Sam?"
Sam shrugged, "Just some friends at school, Joss says his family follows the old religions. They don't believe in changing bodies. He says that we only get one soul and when one body dies it can't be transferred as it goes to Heaven."
"Your friend Joss is an idiot. There is no heaven Sam, there is no soul. I don't want to hear you talking like that again. I am in my third body Sam, do you think I have no soul?" Sam's father said, face red in anger.
Sam's eyes began to well up. "I am sorry Dad I just miss Mum. I want her back," he said struggling to hold back the tears.
Sam's father sighed and gave his son a quick hug. "I'll go check on the progress on the clone. It shouldn't be much longer."
He left the room, leaving the door ajar. Sam looked out into the hallway to make sure he was gone then moved back over to the body of his mother. Sam took her hand, tracing the outline of her fingers. Remembering how many times she had patted his head, held his hand and hugged him in an embrace. Sam looked into those dead eyes again and began to cry.
"I am sorry Mum, I miss you so much. I hope you are in the new Mum now but if not please be okay in Heaven." Sam said, wiping his eyes.
Sam moved back when he heard footsteps approaching from outside the room.
"Come Sam, she is just waking up in the next room." Sam's father said, entering the room.
"Okay. What will happen to Mum?" Sam asked, looking his father in the eye.
His father looked confused for a second before he realised what he meant. "You mean the body here. The body will be disposed of Sam, it doesn't matter where it goes. Come follow me son."
With one last look back Sam left the body of his mother behind and followed his father.
The next room over looked far different to the other. A doctor and a technician looked over the body, checking that the transfer was complete and the body was healthy.
"Ah hello there Sam." The doctor said with a smile as Sam entered the room. "Are you ready to meet your mother?"
"Um. Okay." Sam said hesitantly, venturing a quick smile more because he felt he had to than he actually wanted to.
"Now understand Sam that she might not remember you fully yet, it can take up to a couple of days for the memories to fully integrate with the brain. Normally we wouldn't let you in to see her this early but your father said you were having some problems understanding your mother's... change. She should wake up any second now."
Sam shuffled forward as he felt a gently nudge from his father and moved towards the bed. Rising onto his tiptoes he peered down on the body of his new mother.
Sam was surprised by what he saw. It looked exactly like his mother, same body shape, same face. Slowly her eyes began to flutter open.
"Hello? Am I dead?" Sam's new mother said throatily, looking around the room with bleary eyes.
“No my dear, you are quite fine. You have been transferred into a new body. How are you feeling?” The doctor asked.
“I... I feel pretty good. Where is my husband?” She asked.
Sam's father moved forward. “I am here sweetie.” He said with a smile.
Same decided to move forward too. "Hi Mum. It's me, Sam." Sam said, reaching out for her hand. Sam almost recoiled as he held it, the hand did not feel right, did not feel like his mother.
"Sam? Who is Sam?" His new mother said, pulling away her hand.
Sam stepped back, shock, fear and grief overcoming him at the same time as he saw the confusion in her eyes. Panic set in and Sam turned away from the bed, avoided his father's grasp and fled from the room ignoring the shouts from behind him. Weaving his way through the doctors, assistants and families in the hallways, Sam charged down the winding passages quickly becoming lost after a couple of minutes. Eventually Sam saw a door that looked like an exit and headed through it.
A wave of cold air
swept over him as he entered the room, he looked up and saw fans blowing cool refrigerated air out of ducts in the roof, Sam quickly realised he wasn't outside. Hearing a noise from close-by Sam ducked underneath a nearby desk.
"Has the new shipment arrived yet?" A man said entering the room with another man pushing a trolley of some sort, Sam could only see their legs from his position.
"Tonight, there were some delays in production, they were running low on genetic material." The other man said.
"Low again? Make sure all the bodies from today are sent back with the shipment. We really need to recycle everything now."
"This one here is probably the last of the day, some woman brought in earlier."
Sam poked his head out from underneath the table carefully to try and get a better look. To his horror he saw the body of his mother on the trolley, slowly being wheeled towards a large steel container. Sam stared as the two men lifted his dead mother by her arms and legs and dumped her straight in unceremoniously.
"Alright then, that's me done for the day, you be here later for the shipment?" The first man asked.
"Yep, stuck with the late tonight." The other man said as the pair walked past where Sam had resumed hiding and left the room.
The two continued their chit chat further down the hall but Sam had lost interest, heading straight towards the container, paying no heed to the cold that was slowly seeping in to his core. Standing on the tips of his toes he peered in and almost vomited at the site of the dozen or so bodies dumped inside. Some showed signs of severe damage, obviously hit by a car or some other physical trauma. Sam's mother was slumped in a corner, her eyes still half closed.
Stepping back Sam didn't realise someone else had entered the room and bumped into their legs.
"I think you better come with me lad," said a voice Sam recognised as one of the men that was just in the room. He was an older man, wrinkles lining his face but his eyes still looked kind as they gazed down at him.
Taking Sam by the hand the man slowly led the boy out of the room and back towards the guest rooms.
"I am guessing you are the boy that got spooked when he saw his Mum just after a Revival, am I right?" The man asked.
Sam nodded silently.
"I can understand why you are so spooked then boy, to be honest it still spooks me." The man said.
"Is she my mother?" Sam asked, looking up hopefully.
The man looked down at Sam sadly. "Yes and no lad, yes and no. She has your mothers memories, personality, DNA, that much is true. But is she the woman that gave birth to you? That I don't know lad, I just work here."
Sam began to cry softly.
"Oh dammit," the man said quietly, stopping in the hall and crouching in front of Sam.
"Lad your mum died of a heart attack right?" The man asked.
Sam nodded.
"Well, then your mum wouldn't be here now regardless. She was sick boy, very sick. She was going to die. What this place has done is give her a second chance. That new Mum has all the memories that your last mother did, she will remember giving birth to you, playing with you, loving you. She is still your mother even if she was never actually there to raise you. Give her a chance boy." The man said with a smile.
Sam thought about this briefly, thinking over what he said.
"Okay, let's go see her then." Sam said eventually, feeling a little better.
"There's a good lad." The man said, ruffling his hair.
As they drew near the room Sam saw his father approaching from a hallway to the left.
"Sam! Where have you been, I was worried sick!" Sam's father said.
"Don't worry sir, he was just wandering the hallways, he wasn't doing anything naughty." The man said, not mentioning where Sam was.
"Thank you." Sam's father said to the man before taking Sam's hand and leading him back to his new mother's room.
"Bye mister!" Sam said to the man, looking back and waving as his dad led him away, glad that they had spoke.
The man nodded and smiled as Sam looked back then walked back the way he had come.
Sam's father turned to Sam as they drew near his mother's room. "Look Sam I know this is hard and that I have rushed you. If you aren't ready to see her again that is okay we can leave it till tomorrow, or the next day even. Your Mum will understand."
Sam shook his head. "It's okay Dad, I want to see her now."
"Oh. Okay then," Sam's father said in surprise. "Let's try again."
Sam and his father entered his mother's room again. Sam was surprised to see her sitting up, only the doctor was in the room now and he was looking at some monitor in the corner.
His mother smiled warmly as she saw him. "Sam! I am so sorry I scared you before, how are you? I know this must be scary and strange for you. Come here and give your mother a hug."
Sam smiled and walked over, letting go of his father's hand and climbing up the bed to give his mother a hug. Her skin felt different and she smelled faintly of chemicals but the hug still felt like one from his mother.
"I am not going to leave you Sam okay." Sam's mother said.
"I know mum, it is good to see you again." Sam said with a smile, forgetting all about the body in the container that had once been his mother.
"I will never leave you Sam. Never."