"What are they doing?" I ask Matty in alarm. "Why are they taking my booth?"
"Kates, weren't you listening?" Matty asks, looking at me like I'm nuts. "That was the last scene we're shooting there. They're getting rid of that set. There's only a few weeks left of filming, you know."
I hold Matty's wrist firmly as I watch two men carry the jukebox out of the way. Do you know how many quarters Sam has dropped in that thing? How many times Sam and Ryan danced slowly to Robin Thicke? Summerville Breads is where the Jonas Brothers played last season and Joe gave me one of his guitar picks. And now the place is gone. One of the grips has powered up a small chain saw and is cutting down the door Sam ran through when she found out she was a finalist for the Summerville Golden Apple, this writing contest she entered. I blink back tears.
"Kates, are you okay?" Matty sounds worried. "You don't look good."
I have to get out of here. Suddenly I feel very hot. I can't breathe. I'm about to panic when I hear my phone ring.
"Hello?" My voice sounds teary.
"It's us!" Ava squeals.
I take a deep breath. "Hey."
"Where are you? We just got up and we're driving around looking for a place to park it for lunch," Ava adds. "Join us and we'll shop after. You in?"
"I can't," I tell them, wincing as I notice the popcorn machine is the next thing to be carted away. "I'm at work."
"Do you have to be there?" Ava moans. "Are you filming like right now?"
"Not exactly," I tell her. "My next scene is at two."
"Your mom wants to talk to you," Nadine mouths to me.
"Kaitlin! Come on then!" Ava is begging. "Get out of that dark soundstage and come meet us. Take back the power! You promised. We'll pick you up and whisk you back to set before your call time."
The chain saw sounds louder and louder. Nadine is still yakking in the background. Whenever I glance her way she holds up the SAT book and points to it. Nadine writes something on a piece of paper and hands it to me. It says, Your mom is mad. Wants you to ditch Manolos idea. Thinks the reality show is the way to go.
I feel like I can't breathe. My chest is tight. Matty is looking at me strangely. I've got to get out of here.
"Can you be here in ten?" I whisper quickly.
"You've got it," Ava says. "She's in," I hear her tell Lauren, who cheers. "Just give me directions."
I give Ava directions as I bolt from the room. The sound of the workers dismantling Summerville Breads rings in my ears.
"Kaitlin? Where are you going?" I hear Nadine yell over the chain saw. But I ignore her.
I'm out of here.
Monday, February 9
NOTE TO SELF:
B back @ 2.
Ten: Playing Hooky
Being with Ava and Lauren is so much fun. They don't care whether I'm taking meetings with Paramount or Universal. They have no clue how much my asking price should be for my next film. And they're not at all interested in whether or not I'm taking the SATs. The only thing these two want to talk about is clothes and boys, in that order.
"You have to buy those!" Ava coos when I walk out of Belladonna's dressing room wearing a khaki Juicy Couture Chunky Sweater ($300) and trouser-cut Citizens of Humanity Birkin jeans ($188).
We've just come from having lunch at The Blvd restaurant in the Beverly Wilshire, and even though I only have an hour and a half to spare, Lauren and Ava said I deserved a shopping spree after walking off set the way I did. That's how we wound up at Belladonna, which is owned by Celebrity Insider correspondent Taylor Ryan. She owns this small chain of California chic clothing stores and you can always count on finding something unique here.
HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER TEN: You know how I said a lot of stars don't do hands-on work in their restaurants? When it comes to stars owning clothing boutiques or having their own clothing label, the story is usually different. Several of my celebrity pals have their own labels and they oversee everything from first sketches and fabric and color choices to fittings, sitting in on meetings and doing runway shows. If I had my own label, I think I'd want to make clothes that are reasonably priced and fashionably cute. Maybe I'll have my own line at Target. Just because I spend a ton on clothes, doesn't mean I don't wince at the sales receipt sometimes.
"Tell me you're buying that outfit," Ava insists. She's wearing a Joie Sugar black sheer blouse that looks great against her pale blond hair. She has on the same jeans I do, but you wouldn't know it because they look completely different on her.
"You really like it?" I ask and bite my lower lip. I've already decided I have to have the Scoop Metallic Ballet Flats in silver (cost: $165) and the Rachel Pally Sweetheart Dress in graphite ($248) and if I buy this outfit too, I'll break the one thousand dollar mark. That's way over my limit. (Mom caps me at $300 a month max and I still haven't told her how much the Cinch bag cost.) I guess I'm getting a little carried away, but it's so easy with these girls. They carry boatloads of clothes into the fitting room, not restricting themselves to an outfit or two like Liz and I usually do. (Liz may have no limit on her AmEx, but she tries to curtail her dad's griping by keeping transactions on the low side.) Lauren and Ava also think everything looks superb and never glance at a price tag. This shopping spree will get me in a lot of trouble. But . . . I feel the sweater against my chin and it's so soft and woolly I could fall asleep. What the heck. I'm buying it!
Click. Click. Click.
I whirl around clutching my bag to my chest. I'm fully clothed, but whenever I get snapped inside a store, I feel naked. Most stores don't allow the paparazzi to shoot inside, but Ava's and Lauren's sidekick Gary is standing right in front of me and he has Larry the Liar with him. Larry gives me this weird little smile and I shudder.
"What are they doing here?" I complain.
"Relax," Ava says. "We invited them."
"Shopping?" I protest. "I don't want pictures of me on my lunch hour." Larry takes another photo of me anyway and I glare at him. That just makes him take more.
Ava pulls me aside. "Lau and I have this agreement with the store. We give them publicity; they give us loads of free stuff. I'm sure they'll gift you some stuff too if you stop whining. What's the big deal anyway? If they weren't in here, they'd be taking your picture through the window. Then it would come out blurry, and blurry pictures make people look fat."
I don't like the sound of this. I know there are some stars who invite the paparazzi everywhere they go, but I'm not one of those people. I don't need any more exposure than I already have and I certainly don't want to use publicity to get free stuff. Still, I don't want to be a pill. Ava is looking at me like I'm trying to spoil the party and I don't want to do that, especially after they've been so great. I guess the pictures are okay just this once. "Fine, they can stay."
Click. Click. Click. Gary and Larry start shooting again right away.
Lauren screams from the other side of the store. "We all have to get this!" Lauren catwalks out, throws her brown hair around and does a full circle in a black Tibi mini dress that has a white daisy pattern and ruffles. Gary snaps away. The outfit is really cute and Ava and I applaud. "We can wear them to LAX nightclub this weekend for Simon Barter's party!" Lauren suggests. "This is only three hundred dollars."
"Kaitlin, you're going to Simon's party in Vegas, aren't you?" Ava asks.
I want to say I've never met Simon and that my mom will probably never let me go to Las Vegas again after what happened when FA had their disastrous cast trip there last fall, but I know what Ava will have to say about that. So instead I say, "When is it?"
"Friday night," Lauren tells me as she piles another group of jeans over her arm.
"Friday night I have a date with Austin," I say. I would never miss a date with Austin for a party.
"Boo," they whine in unison. Boo seems to be one of their favorite words.
"I hate that she has a boyfriend and we don't," pouts Ava, hiding her head in a fur-lined Juicy hoodie she's still debating. "It's only fun if we a
ll have boyfriends together."
That's a weird thing to say. Liz and I never cared if one of us didn't have a boyfriend and the other did. We've never let the situation affect our friendship.
"Well if you're not coming to the party on Friday night, then you have to go to Shelter with us on Thursday night," Lauren says. "We get there around ten. We can wear the dresses! The press will love it!" Lauren pulls Ava and me in for a tight shot and Gary and Larry oblige.
I don't want to say anything, but by ten on weeknights, if I'm not still on the set, I'm usually in my pajamas watching a TiVo'd episode of Grey's Anatomy. "Um ..." My phone rings and saves me. I look at the screen and practically drop it. "Guys, I have to take this outside. It's, um, my agent." I motion to the store clerk about the phone and she nods. I guess she doesn't think I'm about to run off without paying.
I take a deep breath. Then I answer the phone. "Hello?" I use my cheeriest voice.
"Kates? It's Liz." Her voice sounds small and shaky.
Maybe that means she's as bothered by us not talking as I am. But then I remember everything she said. Even if she is upset, she still thinks we've grown apart. "Hi. How are you?" I say stiffly.
"Good," she says. "You?"
"Good," I lie.
"Great," Liz says, sounding nervous. Then there's a long pause.
That has never happened before. Usually it's a case of us talking so much that Nadine has to pull the phone from my ear so that I'm not late for wherever I'm going. Suddenly, even the Scoop shoes and cute Juicy sweater don't thrill me. Thinking of Liz and our fight makes me sad.
"I feel bad about what happened at lunch," Liz says.
Really? "Me too," I admit. And just like that I feel hopeful. Maybe this was all a misunderstanding.
"I didn't mean to upset you, but I thought you should know how I was feeling. You've been so distant lately and it really upset me."
The hope bubble bursts just like that. "You haven't been around either," I say lightly. I'm afraid to make things worse, but I'm not going to lie either. I take a deep breath. I have to say this. "I don't know why us growing apart -- as you call it -- should be all my fault." When Liz doesn't say anything, I start to babble. "I'm not saying we have grown apart. I mean, maybe we have, but I didn't see it that way. I just thought we were both busy and --"
"That's what I've been trying to tell you, but I just don't know how to explain myself," Liz says, sounding as awkward as I do. My babbling seems to have rubbed off on her. "I'm not used to us . . . and . . . I mean . . ."
Liz can't seem to find the words and for a moment, I want to wait and listen. I want to tell her it's okay. We both messed up. I'm thinking about saying just that when --
"CHICKY, what are you doing out here?" Lauren pokes her head out of the store and yells at me. "We have to try on more shoes and we can't do it without you," Lauren adds. "Gary is waiting!" She sees my phone and looks at me suspiciously. "Who are you talking to?"
"Liz," I mouth and motion for her to give me two seconds.
"UGH! Hang up already! She's not worth the minutes," Lauren complains.
My face flushes and I'm mortified. I hope Liz didn't hear that.
"Who are you talking to?" Liz wants to know.
"My friend Lauren," I say slowly. "I'm actually out shopping with some friends."
"I thought you were at work," Liz says. Her voice sounds strange.
"I was, but I'm on break. Lauren and Ava picked me up for lunch."
"Kaitlin," Lauren whines. "Come on! I told you Gary is waiting. He just got another call and he has to leave. We've got to get the last shot. Hang up with that loser. She doesn't deserve you!"
My jaw drops. I know Lauren is just trying to defend me, but Liz is not a loser. Liz had to have heard Lauren. I know it. And now I have a feeling the conversation we just had made things worse between us. I'm too tired to be upset. I just want this fight to be over.
Before I can say anything, Liz says stiffly, "I can see you're busy with your new friends. I'll try you another time."
"I'm sorry. Can we talk soon?" I ask awkwardly and try not to sound too sad when Liz hangs up without saying when.
I push open the doors to Belladonna and my phone rings again before I even have time to take in what's just happened. Liz tried to make up, I think, and I started rambling and then Lauren interrupted us and I let her. Why did I put Lauren before Liz? Why didn't I tell her I had to take care of this first? This conversation was important and I think I just blew it. What if I ruined my only chance at fixing our friendship? I think I'm going to throw up. What's wrong with me? My phone rings again. Is that Liz calling back? I look at the screen and see "restricted" on the caller ID.
Oh God. Who could that be? My breath gets tight and short. Someone other than Matty and Nadine knows I'm not at work, don't they? I've been avoiding all of Nadine's calls, but I don't know who this is from. Tom? Should I just let it go to voicemail? I take a deep breath and answer.
"Kaitlin speaking." I try to sound super professional. If it's Mom or Tom I can try to say I had a dentist appointment. If it's Nadine, I'm in big trouble.
"Hey, gorgeous," I hear Austin say.
I exhale. "Austin, hi!" I walk back into the store and forget all about what just happened. "Your number came up funny."
"My cell phone died. I forgot to ask you something before so I'm on Rob's phone," he explains. "Where are you?" I'm sure he can hear all the commotion in the background. Lauren just found a pair of Scoop shoes she had been looking for and she and Ava are jumping up and down and screaming while Gary and Larry take more pictures even though Lauren claimed they were getting ready to leave.
"Shopping," I admit guiltily. I mouth the word "Austin" to Ava and she grins.
"On a workday?" He laughs. "I don't know how you squeeze everything in."
"Well, I had a break so I'm out with Ava and Lauren. Those are the girls in the pictures with me from the Vanity Fair party --"
"Hi, Austin!" Lauren grabs the phone from my ear and Ava snuggles up next to her so she can hear too. "This is Lauren."
"And Ava!" Ava winks at me.
"I've seen your picture and I have to say you're really cute." Lauren giggles.
"Way hot. You're not a dork though, are you?" Ava asks.
"Ava!" I scold.
They fire off a few embarrassing questions before I wrestle the phone back. "It's me," I say, shooing the girls away by pointing out a cool bag I just spotted.
"So that's Lauren and Ava." He sounds amused. "They sound . . . interesting." I'm not sure if that's a compliment, but I'm too afraid to ask.
"They are," I promise, "and they're dying to meet you."
"So when are you due back at work?" Austin asks. "I've never heard of you shopping on your lunch hour before."
"Yeah, well." I can't lie to him. "Tom wanted me to film my interview for the retrospective and Nadine was driving me up a wall so I bailed."
"Burke, that's not like you," Austin scolds.
"I know," I say guiltily.
"What time are you due back?" Austin asks.
I look at my watch. It's 2:15 PM. 2:15! I was due back at work fifteen minutes ago! "I'm late," I shriek. "I'll call you later."
"Get back there," Austin says. "Miss you."
"Miss you too," I murmur. I wish I could say more, but the "I love you" thing can't be said over the phone. Especially with Larry the Liar nearby.
"Guys, I've got to go!" I wave down Lauren and Ava before they can head back in the dressing room with another pile of clothes. "I'm late."
Lauren looks up. "No biggie. I'm sure they'll be cool with it. We'll leave in a few." She pulls me close for another picture.
The sales woman walks over and offers to take my stuff from me and turns to Ava. "I just talked to Taylor. We can give you a thirty percent discount today, but I can't give you anything gratis. We've had a light month. I hope you understand."
"Sure. No problem," Ava says with a tight smile. Then she pulls Lau
ren and me into the dressing room and makes a face. "Great. I was sure she'd comp half our stuff for sure when we brought Gary! She always does!"
"What a pill," Lauren moans.
"I'm going to sort through my stuff and go pay," I tell them as they continue to complain. As I walk up to the register, I can still hear Ava and Lauren whispering in the dressing room. Hmm . . . how much do I have here? I start pulling things apart and making two piles as Gary and Larry take more pictures. When are they leaving?
"What are you doing?" Ava asks as she makes her way out behind me. "You loved all this stuff."
"I know, but it's more than I should spend." I hold up the beloved Scoop ballet flats and frown.
Ava coughs. "Hello? If you don't treat yourself well, who will?"
I stare again at the pile. Part of me feels guilty, but the other part of me agrees. I do deserve this stuff. I pull my credit card from my Chanel wallet and bang it hard on the counter. Ha! That feels good.
I feel so free spending like this. No one is here to stop me, or question my color choice (green) for that Alice and Olivia dress. I made every decision on my own. I have the power!
The clerk hands me the credit card slip to sign and smiles politely.
My total is $1,584.58.
GULP.
That is a bit more than I thought it would be. When I added the items up in my head it was only around a thousand dollars. I guess I added one or two things, or maybe four, but ... I start to hyperventilate. Larry and Gary keep taking my picture and I'm so annoyed I put my hand up in front of Larry's camera.
"Trust me." Lauren pulls my hand down. "When your mom sees the great loot you got, she's not going to care what it cost. Tell her she can borrow some. Your mom has a good body. She can pull it off."
Lauren's bill is way over two thousand dollars. Ava is next and her bill is equally steep. Neither of them seems worried. Maybe I shouldn't be either. How often do I splurge like this?
"Okay," says Ava, pulling out her keys. "Let's get you back to work."
Outside the store, a crowd has grown. A girl our own age taps Ava on her shoulder. Her friends are standing behind her. They all look nervous. "Hi," the girl says. Her hands are shaking. "You're Ava Hayden, right? And Lauren Cobb and Kaitlin Burke? Could we get your autographs?"