When I realize the time, I stand up to leave. I hate having to go, but I need to get back to the slave quarters. Helga probably wouldn't mind me being late, but if I'm caught by an Elder not being where I'm supposed to be, I'd be in real trouble.
"I-I-I'll walk w-w-with you," Miguel says.
Stacy throws me a sly smile, but I ignore it and tell Miguel that I'd be happy to have his company. After hugging each of the ladies, I step out of the house with Miguel in tow.
"I've missed you so much, Frida," he tells me when we get to a private area.
I love that he remembers to use my real name. I've always hated being called by the fake name of Monica that the Mister had given me. "I missed you too," I return sheepishly.
His face turns anxious. "Did you really?"
"I've missed you a lot."
My answer seems to please him. "The Elders have me doing so much stuff that I hardly see you anymore."
"Even with Barstowe gone, you haven't gotten a break at all."
He frowns. "They work me harder than he ever did."
"Do you think he's gone forever?"
"I doubt it."
I frown harshly. "I'm just glad that the guy won't marry me after my accident."
His sight lands on my sleeveless left arm. "Does it still hurt?'
His leveled stare on my puckering burn discombobulates me. It's an ugly sight and I prefer him not being so engrossed with it. "No, it just looks bad."
"Can I touch it?"
"Why do you want to touch it?" I ask defensively.
"To prove to myself that you're not hurting anymore."
I nod. "Okay, but only a little."
His fingers slowly move over my burned skin as if afraid I'll shriek in pain. Instead, I nonchalantly stare at him with impatience. His hand lightly caresses my skin.
I jerk myself back. "That's enough," I tell him.
"Thank you for letting me feel your skin." His eyes are on me with a certain tenderness I hadn't seen before.
"It's really ugly, right?"
He shakes his head. "Nothing from you is ugly. Besides, that burn gave you your freedom, right?"
"Right. Still, it's a pretty nasty burn."
"I'll trade your burned arm for mine any day." Miguel is so efficient that it's easy to forget he's missing the part of his limb under his right elbow due to a malfunctioning land mine. He only has one hand--his left one.
I smile. "I get your point."
"I thought you would."
"I still don't know how my burn doesn't gross you out. Most people avert their eyes. "
"Does my half arm gross you out?"
"No."
"Your scar doesn't do it to me either."
I smile at him. "That's good to know."
"What really bothered me was when you were in the hospital with third degree burns and I couldn't see you."
"It was lonely in there."
"If it had been up to me, I would've been in the hospital every minute with you."
This turn in conversation reminds me of what had happened earlier, and I find myself trembling uncontrollably. Just thinking back at the horrible scene in the Grinder household makes me want to explode with fury over that violent episode.
"Are you okay, Frida?" he asks anxiously, his eyes full of concern.
"Miguel, would you happen to know if Jana is okay? She's in the hospital because Grinder beat her."
"I know," he says quietly.
I don't like what his grim face is telling me.
"She's in pretty bad shape," he murmurs. "She's on life support."
Chapter Four
"Life support?" I repeat with anguish.
"That monster really beat her," Miguel explains, his voice sparking with fire. "Jana is fighting for her life."
"All she did was eat an extra cookie," I muttered, angry tears falling from my face.
"A cookie?"
"Yes, an oatmeal cookie at the Holy-wives meeting."
Miguel frowns with disgust. "He told the other Elders that she had refused to say her prayers."
"Why did he tell them that lie?"
"Frida, he went overboard. They questioned him, and he had to give them a good reason for almost having killed her."
"I didn't think they ever questioned anything he did."
"With him proclaiming he's the son of the Great Master, the other Elders are watching him closely."
"I thought that with Barstowe gone, he'd have complete reign over Paradise Village."
Miguel shakes his head. "No, he doesn't. It may seem like that, but it's not."
When I step into the slave quarters, Helga's eyes are red. I realize that she's heard about Jana. While Helga could be a harsh person, her heart beats like the rest of ours and she really did like Jana. I put my hand on her arm.
"She'll be okay," I murmur.
Helga shakes her head. "I hope so."
"She has to be."
"By the way, you'll have to move to the top bunk soon."
"Why?"
"You've got a new roommate."
My heart squeezes itself. The Elders have stolen another little girl. She must be in the holding tank where they will begin their brainwashing. They will tell her that her family doesn't want her anymore but the Great Master had chosen her to be part of a new family.
I walk back to my bunk with a knot in my throat. I hate getting new girls in here because I know the truth. They were torn away from their families to be used as slaves like I was snatched away from my loving mother. When would someone catch them? When would they pay for their crimes?
It takes me a long, long time to fall asleep after thinking about Jana and the new little girl.
In church the next day, I now sit with Helga and not my usual spot with the destiny-brides. Miguel sits a pew away from me and gives me his usual bright smile. But even Miguel's friendly face doesn't keep my stomach from knotting itself. I have to keep myself from sneering at Grinder--the hypocrite. He's talking about the Great Master's mercy.
What kind of mercy did you show Jana when you just about beat her to death?
"The Great Master loves us as we, the Masters, love you," he preaches. "We take care of you, handle responsibilities, cherish you, and work at creating a better life. Whether you are helper-boys, servant-girls, destiny-brides, or family wives, we try to make sure your needs are met. It's a huge load, but we do it gladly because my father, the Great Master, requires it."
I want to scoff out loud. How can someone be such an idiot? The Mister had been right when he had called him one.
After church I have to drag myself to the Grinder household to do chores. I don't think I've ever hated an assignment as much as I hate this one. As I step inside, I automatically go to the supply closet as I always do. Grinder doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight. What a relief.
When I start sweeping the living room, the family-wives step past me to the prayer room. I prick my ears open to see if they mention Jana. I still hadn't heard anything about her, and my anxiety over her well being is growing by the minute.
"I'll say the first prayer," Cordelia chortles. "Then we'll repeat the husband-prayer I showed you."
I sweep lightly, so I won't make too much noise, or I'll be in trouble..
"Dear Great Master, thank you for your bounty. Thank you for giving us the privilege of being your son's wives."
Does she really believe Grinder? Maybe she's as nuts as he is.
"We talk to you with a strained heart today. It's about wife-Jana."
I stop sweeping.
"Forgive her Great Master for her complete ineptitude at being the wife of your greatest servant--your son. In your infinite kindness, you haven't taken her with you, but allowed her to stay with us."
She's alive, I say excitedly to myself.
"You've let her stay so we can help her mend her ways. I promise you I'll do just that."
I shudder
to think about the way Cordelia is going to help Jana. But she's alive, I tell myself excitedly. I continue my chores with a spring in my step. I couldn't have received better news today. I'm in such a good mood that it doesn't even bother me when Grinder comes barreling into the house and heads for the prayer room.
"I want you to listen carefully, family-wives," he snaps, interrupting Cordelia in the middle of the prayer.
"Yes, Highest Holy Grinder," they say in unison.
"If the Elders ask you what happened yesterday, you are to say that Jana was refusing to say her prayers and was being disrespectful to me."
Lying! He's supposed to be the spiritual leader here, but he lies and then he asks people to lie for him--to protect his own skin.
"But that's exactly what happened, Highest Holy Grinder," insists Cordelia with a firm voice. "Right, family-wives?"
The wives stare at her with bewilderment. They were all here yesterday. They know what really happened.
Cordelia continues her total garbage. "I remember distinctly that Jana was back-talking to you and being very ugly to all of us. You were only trying to discipline her. That's all you were trying to do."
"Yes, that's all," Grinder insists. "I was trying to get her back to the Great Master's ways for her own good."
What a way of re-writing history to fit to your agenda.
"We understand, Highest Holy Grinder, that your load is very heavy. You're the spiritual leader of the whole community, and then you have to come home to deal with sinful wives. We are so sorry not to be better followers for you. You're the son of the Great Master and we are nothing compared to you. It's such a travesty that you were stuck with such a foul-mouthed, slothful, and disrespectful wife such as Jana."
Who are they talking about? Jana was none of those things! Now they're re-writing her personality to fit their agenda.
"My load is heavy indeed," Grinder sighs. "You're all witnesses that I tried my best to correct her in the ways of the Great Master."
"Yes, Highest Holy Grinder, we were," Cordelia agrees. "Right, family-wives?"
"Right, wives?" snaps Grinder, a threat in his voice.
"Yes, Highest Holy Grinder," they say in unison like robots.
He must know that I'm listening and that I was here yesterday, but he doesn't care about me. I'm a nobody in his eyes. A nothing. The Elders would never debase themselves by listening to me. My words carry no meaning in Paradise Village.
I swiftly finish my chores. The sooner I get out of this household the better. On my way to the Barstowe home, I actually smile. Jana is alive, and I'm getting along great with the ladies in the Mister's house.
Stepping in the door, I'm about to shout my happy greeting when I notice the strained, unhappy faces of my new friends. What's happening?
"Hi, Monica," a voice murmurs. I turn my face towards the voice, my heart twisting and my stomach churning with sickening juices.
It's the Mister!
Chapter Five
He's returned! I should've known that this bliss was too good to last.
"Hello, Master Barstowe," I mumble.
He eyes me with water filling his eyes, and then he abruptly strides into his study. The family-wives and I stay transfixed to the floor in the living room.
"So sorry," I mouth to them after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence. They look at me and nod. They know I'm expressing my sympathy for them having to deal with the Mister now that he's back. The party is over.
I excuse myself and go to the kitchen to start my chores. Tears want to flow from my eyes but I demand that they don't. Why am I being such a baby? I knew that he'd probably be back to ruin our little oasis here.
As I finish one chore after another, I ask myself what to do about his study. I don't want to clean it while the Mister is there, but if I don't at least ask what he wants, I may get a beating. He's done it before. I reluctantly knock on the door.
"Come in," he says gruffly.
"Do you want me to clean your study right now, Master Barstowe?" I ask as I open the door but don't step inside. Sometimes he'll ask me to come back later or clean it the next day.
"How have you been, Monica?" he blurts. The rims of his eyes are red.
"I'm fine, Master Barstowe." I still don't step into his study.
"No one bothered you while I was away?"
"I'm fine, Master Barstowe."
He nods. "I'm glad."
"About your study, would you like me to--"
"Don't be so angry with me, Monica," he blurts.
"What, Master Barstowe?"
"You just don't know how much your accident destroyed me."
"Master Barstowe--"
"Not being able to marry you is breaking my heart into a million pieces but . . ." He eyes my burned arm with disgust.
"Yes, Master Barstowe, I understand," I say wryly.
"You were so perfect before but now . . ."
"Yes, Master Barstowe," I say as I turn my arm so he can have a better look. It's to both his and my benefit that he gets over his obsession with me.
The eyeful he catches makes his features ignite. "I wish Betsey was here," he snaps furiously, "so I could kill her again."
I don't like his rising emotions so I turn my arm to the side where he can't see it.
"What's done is done, Master Barstowe."
"Leave my study, Monica," he mumbles, his voice shaky. "Clean it another day."
I close the door, and resume my chores. When I leave the tomb-like house, I decide to take the long way to the slave quarters like Miguel and I used to do. I've got a lot to think about. With the Mister back, what kind of complications will there be? How will I navigate his household with him and his temper? Will he take out his inability of getting past my burned arm on me?
I wish I could talk this out with Miguel. Sometimes you just need to let things out. But even when I do see him, we can't talk freely since we're usually not alone. I really miss my alone time with him. I miss my alone time period.
Grinder has never restored the weekly free hour and without the Mister's intervention, I haven't thrown my boomerang in a long while. I had never realized what a big difference it was for me to be able to take out my frustrations on my toy.
Helga climbs off her bunk and steps over to me as soon as I walk in the door of the slave quarters. She used to meet me to aggravate me but not anymore.
"I just thought you might want to know that Jana will be getting out of the hospital in a few days," she says.
"Thank you for telling me."
"She'll need care after she gets out. Apparently, she's still in pretty bad shape," Helga grumbles. "I suggested you for the job."
"Thank you, Helga. I'd love to care for Jana."
"I thought so. She needs to be mothered."
Later that night when everyone in the slave quarters is asleep, I stare out the window next to my bunk. The moon is a crescent and many stars shine. Are you thinking of me, Mama, like I'm thinking of you? Had she continued looking for me all these years, I wondered. Was she okay?
Deep in my heart I know I'll see you again. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I really do believe it.
At the Grinder house the next day, I handle my chores as rapidly as I can like I usually do. I really hate being in the home of horrors. I know that once Jana returns, I'll be here much longer hours, but that'll be different. We'll probably be in her bedroom most of the time.
When I hear Cordelia mention Jana's name in her prayers, my ears prick up. I know it's not going to be anything good.
"Please, Great Master, show your infinite mercy on Jana. I know she's a bad follower. I know that she back talks your son. I know she is undisciplined, ungrateful, and rebellious, but I hold the hope that with Highest Holy Grinder's help, she'll see the light."
The total garbage about Jana is continuous. I realize with furious emotions that history is changed by repeating a lie over
and over again. Pretty soon, if they haven't already, the ladies here will start doubting the truth they know and absorbing the lies. Jana is nothing like Cordelia describes her. Nothing. But constant repetition makes facts into fiction.
I'm so disgusted. This is taking brainwashing to a new level. I'm relieved when I finish with the living room and am in the kitchen where I don't have to listen to such total garbage.
When I hear the door to the kitchen open, I don't look up from the dishes I'm washing. Being ignored in this house has its advantages. I don't have to converse with those who propagate the idiocy that goes on here on a daily basis.
"Monica!" Grinders voice thunders through the kitchen.
I can't believe he's addressing me. This can't be something good. I turn to him, placing the soapy dish in my hands back in the sink.
"Yes, Highest Holy Grinder?"
"After you finish you're chores here, you are not to go to the Barstowe household. You are being reassigned to another home. Master Barstowe doesn't want you near him. You are never to go to that house again."
Chapter Six
During the next few days, I'm thrilled to be out of the Mister's house even though I do miss the ladies in it. I finally get to spend a few private moments with Miguel when he walks with me to the slave quarters after I clean the house of one of the Elders and he happened to be there.
"I'm so glad to see you, Frida," he says when we're in a private area.
"Me too," I return.
"How have you been?"
I smile. "Fine, and you?"
"Missing you."
My smile grows larger. "I miss you too. You haven't been to visit me in a long while"
He frowns. "With Barstowe being back, I've got double the work to do. And to make matters worse, the man is in a horrible mood."
"He's been on your back?"
"He's constantly snapping at me and getting furious over the littlest mistakes."
"What's wrong with him?" I ask, bothered that he's messing with my friend.
"You are," he says quietly.
"Me?"
"He isn't over you. I don't blame him," Miguel mumbles quietly.