Page 47
Author: Robyn Carr
“That’s more than full-time, that’s two jobs,” Paul said. “When are you going to play?”
“Mornings, I guess,” she said with a smile. She ripped open her card to read it to herself and when it opened, a hundred-dollar bill fell out. “Aw, Jack,” she said softly. “After all you and Mel have done for me, you sure shouldn’t have done this. ” He just shrugged and Liz put the card down, stuffed the bill in the pocket of her jeans and reached out for him, circling his neck with her arms so she could give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Jack. That’s so sweet. I’ll thank Mel myself later. ”
Rick was dying as he watched. Of course, he hadn’t bothered going to her graduation, nor had he given her a card or even congratulated her. And he wanted those arms around him, those lips on his cheek. Not that he’d done one thing to deserve it.
Jack fixed up her giant Coke to go and put it on the counter. “On the house, Liz. We’re all proud of you. ”
“Hear, hear,” Paul said, lifting his beer. Hope raised her Jack Daniel’s, Dan lifted his bottle of Heineken, Jack toasted with his coffee cup.
“Thanks, that means a lot,” she said softly, maybe emotionally. “I’d better get over to Connie’s. ”
“See you later, honey,” Jack said.
Rick felt his eyes burn and his head start to pound as he watched her leave. His eyes dropped to her perfect butt, her long legs, that beautiful sheath of soft hair, and remembered how every inch of her felt under his hands. He could smell her, taste her. This was the love of his life, his childhood sweetheart, the girl he was going to marry, until life threw them a curve. He turned on his stool, grabbed his cane and followed her. Because he was slower getting around, she was nearly to the corner store by the time he was at the porch steps. “Hey!”
She turned toward him, frowning.
He slowly and clumsily descended the porch steps, walking toward her, his limp suddenly much more pronounced.
Dan saw Rick leave and followed, standing just outside the bar door on the porch, his arms crossed over his chest. Watching. Listening.
“You do that on purpose?” Rick yelled at Liz. “Just to punish me?”
She shook her head. “What are you talking about?”
He got a little closer. “Acting like I don’t exist like that. You won’t even look at me. Is that how bad I gross you out?”
“Shut up, Rick. You’re acting like an ass again. ”
“I’m an ass? For asking why you won’t even look at me?”
“I thought that’s what you wanted! You want everything we were to just go away! Right?”
“It’s not exactly like that,” he said.
“Bullshit, it is like that! You said we can’t even be friends! So back off—you got just what you wanted!”
Jack had heard the shouting, knew who it was and stepped out of the bar. He was about to go after Rick, shut him up before it got worse, but Dan put an arm across his chest. “Let it happen,” Dan said.
“I care about Liz. If Rick’s going to be a jackass, she doesn’t deserve—”
“Let it happen,” Dan said. “She’s fighting back. ”
“I don’t know,” Jack said, shaking his head.
“It’s their bone, Jack. Don’t chew on it. ”
And Jack stayed, joined by Paul a moment later.
“You know it’s not what I want! It’s how it has to be!” Rick was yelling at her.
“Why? You never did say!”
“You know why—I did too say! Because you can do better, that’s why!”
She laughed meanly. “Ain’t that the truth! But why? Is it about the leg or the fact that you’re such an asshole and you treat your best friends like crap?”
“Sorry if I’m not a happy-go-lucky idiot, Liz!” he shouted, leaning heavily on his cane. “I might have one or two things on my mind, y’know?”
“Oh, I know. You. Your mind is all filled up with yourself and how much you pity yourself. Because you’re the only one ever hurting, right?”
“Look around,” he yelled, and it was at that point that he saw the three men on the porch. He didn’t care. “How many other one-legged dudes you see hanging out here. Huh?” He stepped closer and so did she. Even though they got closer, their voices got louder. “Maybe you could just cut me some slack, Liz. ”
“I’ve cut you plenty of slack, Rick, but I’m done. I can’t do anything to please you. You want me to go away quietly, then you want me to fuss over you like you’re some old friend of mine? Or maybe I’m supposed to feel sorry for you because you’re a cripple! You’re out of your fucking mind!”
“Don’t say that word,” he yelled at her. “Don’t say words like that!”
“What? Words like mind? Which you’re fucking out of? Go to hell!”
“Don’t swear like that! You’re not like that!”
“Guess what, asshole—I don’t belong to you anymore, so you don’t tell me how you’d like me to talk!”
When she turned to go, Rick grabbed her wrist and whirled her back toward him, which caused her to drop her Coke and graduation card in the street.
Again Jack stepped forward to intercede. This time it was both Dan and Paul who pulled him back. “Don’t get in this, Jack,” Dan said. “He has things to work out. So does she. ”
“He wasn’t raised like that,” Jack said.
“He wasn’t raised to go to war and get wounded either. Let him go. ”
“What do you want from me?” Liz asked Rick, twisting her wrist out of his grasp. “Maybe you like to see me look at you all sad and hurt so you can feel like big stuff. Or maybe you were expecting me to beg. Is that what you want?”
“I want you to look at me! I want you to say hello to me! I want you to treat me like a human being!”
“Yeah? I wanted that from you, too! But you don’t think anyone besides yourself deserves to be treated with kindness or respect. You have to give as good as you get, Rick, that’s all there is to it. ”
“Sorry if I’m not unselfish enough for you, Lizzie! It gets tough, trying to figure out how to take a goddamn shower much less how to get the rest of your life back!”
“You think you’re the only one who wants their life back? Maybe you think you’re the only one who needs understanding, is that it? You hurting, Rick?”
“Yeah, Liz! Yeah! I’d trade anything to just be what I was before!”
“And so would I!” she screamed at him. “I’d give both my legs if you could have yours! You think I wouldn’t have given my arms and my legs just to see you holding a living son in your arms? You think I wouldn’t give my eyes so you wouldn’t have a limp?”
“Stop it! Don’t say that!”
“It’s true! It’s the truth! And not for me—for you! Hell, I don’t care if you limp. I don’t care if you wheel yourself around—it’s not your stupid goddamn leg I care about. I prayed all the way to Germany! I told God if you were dead when I got there, I wish I could go with you! But when I got there, you weren’t dead! You just told me to go away! Like I was dead. Sometimes I wish I was!”
“Shut up! Don’t say that!”
“I’d give my life if you could be happy again! I swear to God, I’d give my—”
“Stop saying that!” he screamed, and he shoved her. She was pushed backward a few stumbling feet.
Jack took a giant step forward and Dan pivoted quickly, putting himself in front of him. “Gotta let ’em do it, Jack. It’s their battle right now. We’ll get a piece of it later. ”
“I should stop it before it gets—”
Dan looked over his shoulder in time to see Liz turn and run toward the corner store, but instead of going inside, she got in her car. She pulled away from the store and drove out of town. Dan looked back at Jack. “You. Stay put. You’re way too close to this. ”
Dan went down the porch steps and moved toward Rick. Because he was
moving kind of fast, he had a little hitch in his step. When he stood in front of Rick, he put his hands on his hips. “Did you actually push that female?” he asked.
“How about you mind your own business,” Rick said hotly.
“That’s not gonna happen, boy. Where I come from, we don’t stand around and watch a man get physical with a woman and mind our own business. You looking for a fight, is that it?”
“Out of my way,” Rick said, leaning on his cane and trying to get around Dan.
Dan kicked the cane, sweeping it out of Rick’s hand and sailing a few feet down the street. Then he gave Rick a shove, just like he’d given Liz, and in just one second, Rick was flat on his ass.
“Hey! What the hell?”
“How about you fight with someone who isn’t afraid to hit back? How about that?”
“Funny,” Rick said from his place on the ground, “I think you might have a little advantage there, friend. ”
Dan grinned. “That right?”
Dan bent at the waist, leaned over and began unlacing his boot. He pulled it off, leaving a thick white sock. He straightened, unfastened his belt and dropped his jeans to mid-thigh and there it was, the silicon sleeve of a prosthetic limb right shy of his boxer shorts.
Dan lowered himself to the ground slowly, carefully, then pushed the pin to release the suction on the sleeve to free his stump. Since the ankle of his prosthesis didn’t bend, he had to work the artificial limb up through his pants’ leg and lay it on the ground. With the help of his hands, he pushed himself up on one leg, balancing with some difficulty. Once standing on one leg, he pulled his jeans up again, zipping and belting them. He pulled the empty pants’ leg up and tucked the end in the front pocket of his jeans. And with all the grace of a ballet dancer, he was solid on one leg. Totally solid.
On the porch, Jack muttered, “Holy Jesus. ”
“I wondered about that,” Paul said. “That unsteady knee of his isn’t his. Well, I mean, I’m sure he owns it and all…”
Dan balanced nicely. Years of practice had left him quite proficient. “You think the playing field is level yet?” he asked Rick. “Because I can’t take off the other one. ”
“Holy shit,” Rick said, raised up on his elbows.
“Tell you what, you keep yours and we’ll go a few rounds. I’m no little girl. And I’m just as gimpy as you. How’s that?”
“I am not fighting with you, man,” Rick said.
“You ought to be ashamed, treating that girl so bad,” Dan said calmly. “I don’t know what’s got into you. If yelling at her isn’t bad enough, you put your hands on her. And not in a sweet way. ”
“It’s not your business,” Rick said, but some of the hostility was gone.
“Thought I explained about that,” Dan replied. “I don’t stand around and watch a man get tough with a woman and look the other way. You have to answer for it. For being one mean, weak dick. You want to answer to me or to her?”
Rick just stared up at him. “How you stay upright like that, man?”
“Practice. ”
“How much practice?” Rick asked. “How long have you had it?”
“Been a few years now. I got mine in Iraq, too. And I was just as screwed up as you. Time we got this all straight, boy. You’ve whined and whimpered about long enough now. ”
Rick shook his head. “You don’t even wobble around. ”
“One of the neat little tricks I wish I’d never had to learn. ” Dan reached in his pants’ pocket. “Do you know where to find Liz?”