Read Past Be Damned Page 10


  “So warm.” His hands stroked over my stomach. “Missed you, baby.”

  I couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. So I did the only thing I could, I moved. Up and down on him. Slowly at first, I soon found there was no way I would ever get enough of this. Pleasure shot through me, awakening feelings I’d long forgotten I was capable of having.

  He pulled back my leg to get a deep entrance and rubbed against my clit in the process. That was just enough friction to drive me crazy. I bit down on my lip then gave up trying to be quiet.

  I climaxed hard. There was a fine line between pleasure and pain. I crossed from one to the other, back and forth, grateful for each sensation. I’d been cold for so long. Aidan had given me back feeling. I’d be thankful for all of it, for as long as I could have any of it. And I planned on loving him forever.

  For one second, I could see him both as the gorgeous man that he was and also the light, the energy, that we all were and always would be.

  I fell on top of him, my body too heavy for me to hold up. He held me tightly.

  “How did I ever do without you, Aidan?”

  * * *

  I vaguely realized he cleaned me up. The water on the cloth was cold but I was so pleased at being babied that I didn’t even wince. I cracked open my eyes, and he grinned at me. “I’m going to go see if I can get the water fixed around here. I’ve got some skill in this. Waiting around for Anne’s guys to do it means it might be a year.”

  I rolled over. “I liked resting with you right here.”

  He kissed the back of my head. “You mean you liked snoring while I lay here with you?”

  “I don’t snore.”

  His laugh moved through. “Not usually, no. But you were just now. Really cute. Sleep. I can almost guarantee you won’t be alone long.”

  I didn’t think I’d fall back asleep, but I did.

  My dreams were like waves. They moved through me, but I couldn’t hold onto them. Then finally it was as though I’d come ashore. I looked around. I was barefoot and rain pounded down on my head. I wasn’t cold, dressed in my old Sisterhood outfit minus the hood. In front of me was a woman. I recognized her, but I couldn’t place her.

  I took a step in her direction, and she hugged me to her. She was tall, gray-haired, and her smile was kind. “It was never going to be easy. It never is for the Prophet. Soon you’ll remember. They were always the toughest. That’s why we took such a long time to find them. Only the Prophet can swim in the darkness and come out in the light. Stop fighting it. Say yes when you would say no.”

  I jerked awake, my heart in my stomach and my ears ringing. I’d been talking to someone in my dream, but I didn’t know who or what any of it had meant. Couldn’t I ever simply have a night’s sleep without it having to be analyzed?

  Thaddeus stood on the edge of the bed. “Dare I ask?”

  I extended my arms, and he climbed onto the bed, pulling me to him in a hug. “So glad to see you.”

  “Same.” After Aidan’s greeting earlier, I expected Thaddeus to immediately turn to me, wanting sex—which I would have been more than fine with considering how much I loved my One—but he didn’t. Instead, he seemed content to just cuddle.

  I hugged him tightly. “Was your sleep okay?”

  He nodded. “Sure. I don’t remember any of it. Out cold. Then back up. You didn’t do anything stupid while I was asleep did you?”

  I grinned. “Like what?”

  “Like going after the raven without me?”

  I shook my head. “Not at all. We’ve got some interesting problems going on with the two Sisters who are here in seclusion. They’re not making sense, and they’re going on about prophecy. Daniella says there used to be this person called the Prophet. I think we need more information on all of it. I would bet my left sock that whatever I have to do with the ravens will have to do with that.”

  Thaddeus rolled onto his side. “I’ll keep you safe while we work it all out. I promise you.”

  “I’m sure that you will.” I stroked my hand down the side of his face. “Didn’t Eric go under before you? I’m not complaining, but you’re out of order.”

  He grinned at me. “Boy is probably overthinking something and taking too long.”

  “Right… I…” The darkness within me ballooned even as my light erupted. My body convulsed as my divinity-given demon senses let me know that there was something nearby that shouldn’t be there. I would have fallen off the bed if Thaddeus hadn’t caught me.

  He pulled me up against him, his heat a beacon against the cold that filled the room. “Teagan? I can feel it with you. This is a change from the co-joining. But I can’t see anything. What’s going on?”

  I shook my head, and although my body burned from the onslaught of energy moving through me, I managed to get out of the bed. It would be nice to have the kind of life where I could curl up against Thaddeus and let him handle the danger.

  But that wasn’t what I’d been born to do.

  “It’s daylight,” I answered him instead of telling him what he should be seeing. I couldn’t make out anything either, which didn’t bode well. I grabbed a pair of Aidan’s pants he’d discarded on the floor and put them on. I resembled a little child wearing my parent’s clothes. That was fine. For now, it would do. My shirt was near the doorway so at least something fit me properly.

  Thaddeus handed me my shoes.

  He opened the door just as Aidan arrived at it. “I felt you. What’s happening?”

  I shook my head. “Not sure.”

  “I’ll stay in front, you in back,” Thaddeus instructed Aidan who nodded his head. I walked outside, going by instinct alone. The closer I got to the wrongness, the more my body buzzed. The coils of darkness wrapped the light. The sensation threatened to choke me. I nearly collided with Eric. His eyes were white and unfocused. He was there, but not awake. Behind him, Brody and Noah were the same. I touched Eric’s arm.

  “Go back to bed. You can’t help if you’re not awake.”

  Aidan and Thaddeus made eye contact. “This is so bizarre,” my One spoke. “I’m not used to being out of control, and I know the three of them aren’t either.”

  Eric nodded at me. “You need help.”

  “Not like this. You risk your life when you’re awake. You don’t do it on someone else’s behest. Noah, you and Brody, too. Sleep it off. Then decide if you want to fight.”

  I felt, rather than saw, Anne arrive nearby. “Teagan,” she called out. “Something is very strong.”

  I nodded, goosebumps traveling all over my body. “I know.”

  She walked over to me, her five guards behind her. We strung our fingers together. Whatever this was, it would take both of us.

  8

  Eric, Noah, and Brody did as I bid them and headed toward their rooms, presumably to go to sleep. Or to continue sleeping, just not walking around while they did it. I didn’t know, exactly. I couldn’t feel them in my head the way I could Aidan and Thaddeus at that moment. I was glad for the presence of the two I had awake right then.

  I put my free hand on Thaddeus’ forearm. “I’m not usually afraid.”

  “Right,” he nodded. “But you are now. Trust yourself. If you’re frightened, Teagan, you have good reason to be. Dramatics aren’t really your thing.”

  I loved how he knew me like that. “Okay.”

  “Nothing I can prevent will come near you, love.” Aidan stepped back to let Anne and me past.

  Her guards all wore their white eyes. I turned to her. “Who has the baby?”

  “Brooke.” Her voice was low. “She’s so good with him.”

  I didn’t know why I asked. It seemed like we should have some sort of conversation. “I really like Brooke.”

  Anne stopped moving. “You pulled an original demon out of me, and I carried one inside of me for months. You lived in those hellish mines for five years. I’ve been through my own personal pain. Why are we afraid? We’re not the type.”

  I took a deep
breath. “It’s clearly the demon and something it is doing to us. Where is Daniella?”

  “That’s a good question.” She turned around. “Milo could you…”

  He nodded. “On it.”

  Her guard took off running, presumably to find Daniella. I also saw no sign of Mika or Krystal. If the ladies were being affected as Anne and I were, maybe they didn’t know what to do. I envied them their ability to resist.

  Wait a minute… I didn’t.

  Anne was right, and Thaddeus had said it, too. I wasn’t the kind to run from the danger, I was more likely to charge right to it. At least now that I wasn’t mourning the loves of my life.

  I straightened my back. With Anne’s hand still in mine, I pulled her forward until we were both outside. Standing in the middle of our courtyard was a little boy. He couldn’t have been more than four years old. With red hair, freckles, and green eyes, he was precious to the point of being squeezable.

  But he wasn’t alone. Inside of him were a trio of demons. I shuddered. They were big and brown, with red hair and forked tails. My years of training told me they were third order demons. They could hurt us—but only if we, as Sisters, were sloppy. As Sisters, we had more deaths from sloppiness with demons than any other reason.

  The third levels were messengers.

  “He’s just a child.”

  Anne’s voice was low, like whispering would mean he couldn’t hear us. I sighed, a shiver moving through me. “He was a child.”

  I’d pull any demon out of any living being anytime. But that boy was no longer alive. Anne couldn’t see it—visualizing demons inside the possessed was one of my gifts, not hers.

  She sucked in her breath. “You used past tense.”

  “He’s long dead.” And what we were feeling—the terror—it had belonged to him. They’d held onto it, and they flooded us with the fear over and over again. The idea that the little soul who lived in that body before he was killed had felt what I now endured made me so mad I actually saw red. Anger made my feet move. I let go of Anne’s hand.

  All three demons tracked my movements while I approached. In my mind, I could feel Eric, Brody, and Noah wake truly. Maybe whoever kept them out of it decided it was more important I have their help than whatever spiritual shifting they were going through.

  I squatted down in front of the demons in the dead little boy’s body.

  “Teagan?” Aidan called out to me, and I shook my head. I didn’t need assistance. His concern moved over me from our link. I had to ignore their presence if I was going to do this.

  “Foul creatures, you took this boy’s life. You killed him. You must know what I’m going to do to you for doing this.” The shadow within me seemed almost gleeful.

  The creatures grinned at me, both in their own demonic forms and inside the body they’d taken. “But, Sister Teagan, we wanted to see you so much. How else were we to get your attention?”

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek so hard that it bled. “I won’t take the shame of this as my own. I won’t live with this guilt. Whatever you do, you do. And maybe divinity will forgive you when I am done with you, because I won’t.”

  “Sister Teagan, you’re going to want to stay right here and never leave. If you travel outside these walls again, you will be assaulted over and over. There will be no rest for you, no safe haven, and nowhere will you be safe. Even with your guards aligned, you will never know peace. We will pick them off one by one and then possess you, keeping you alive and alone so that your five years in the mines seem like a vacation.”

  Hearing the horrible words uttered by the small boy in front of me was bad enough. The smug look on the three demons’ faces did nothing to cool my temper. I glanced over my shoulder at Anne. “They’re level three. When they come out, be prepared.”

  “We will be,” Anne answered me. That was when I saw Daniella was finally with her. My freshly woken three were also present.

  I would get the demons out of his body, and the poor corpse would collapse. Instantly. There wouldn’t be a second where I could save him. It was too late. Still, it would be like watching this child die. I took a deep breath. There were lots of people alive because of what we did. There were children here we kept safe. I had to think about those things, or I’d never be able to do this.

  Thaddeus squatted down next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Whatever it is that’s making you sad, you’re not alone in it.”

  I had no time to roll around in his sweet statement. The demon launched himself at me, the boy’s hands, outstretched like claws, reached for my face. Thaddeus grabbed him, stopping him before he could touch me. He darted backward, swinging the boy straight into Eric’s arms, who caught him.

  Completely inhuman sounds came out of the child’s mouth. This was ridiculous. Eric wrestled with the dead child’s body, keeping him upright and restrained. This had to stop.

  I reached forward. My power sliced out. The darkness twined with the light to cut into the child’s body. The demons poured out, shrieking. Free of the child, only the Sisters would be able to see them. I had to trust Anne and Daniella to handle them. They were stronger than me when it came to the non-possessed variety of demons.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off the child. In Eric’s hold, he fell limp. I met Eric’s dark gaze and saw in it all the things I was also feeling. The futility of all of this, the constant assaults, the waste that was this child’s life, the questions about whether or not he had any family or if he’d been among the masses of parentless children. Not even knowing his name.

  I swallowed. “You can put him down.” Eric didn’t have to carry this burden alone.

  He shook his head. “I think I’ll hold him for a while. I think I’m just going to do that.”

  The demons were gone. I sat next to Brody, my head on his shoulder. The sun set in the distance. Above us, the raven darted in the air. “We have to go follow him.”

  On my other side, Thaddeus had a hand on my knee. “I knew you weren’t going to listen to that nonsense the demons spit out. No one could ever keep you behind these walls.”

  “Do you know what gets me about all of it?” Noah sipped water as he kicked a rock in front of us. “They had to know they were going to die, those three. There were three, right? I couldn’t see them once they were out. I was too focused to try to see through your eyes.” He looked at me, and I nodded. There certainly had been three of them. “They came in here and did it anyway.”

  Aidan nodded from where he leaned against a tree. “They never flinch when she curses them.”

  “That’s not exactly true.” I got off the table. “You’ll feel it now. They’re not always as removed or uncaring as those three. Most of them… the lower ones anyway… they feel sad.”

  I walked toward Eric, drawn like I had been to the demon before. Eric spent the last hour burying our unnamed boy. My powers shot to life, and this time like a whip of darkness, they circled around Eric. I pushed it down. This was about Eric, and the darkness could not have him. Things were different. Being co-joined to these five had changed me the way it had them. Eric needed me. I could feel his sadness through my link. It infested his very cells.

  I put my hand on his chest, right over his heartbeat. He covered it with his own. “What are you doing, Teagan?”

  “Sshh.” I’d never done this before, but I could feel the healing happen. I’d take this from him. He’d watched over the little boy, laid him to rest, and he’d taken in the pain the child felt. I wouldn’t let it hurt him anymore.

  The shadow within me rose. We would take the pain and make it ours instead. I’d been born to heal the world. I would start with my loves.

  Eric grasped my wrist. “Don’t do that, Teagan.”

  I shook my head. He wasn’t going to get my hand off his chest until I was done. We were connected in a way that went beyond human separation. “Let me.”

  “Don’t waste your power on me.” He narrowed his eyes. “I love you. I know you love me.
Even if you had to forget for a while. I want you strong. I can handle my sad.”

  My lips trembled, which surprised me as much as it did Eric. “I couldn’t do anything for that boy. I can do this.”

  He shook his head. “Teagan. I’m okay.”

  I dropped my hand and stepped back. I was fully powered, and he wouldn’t let me use it. “Sorry. I… I can’t exactly control it.”

  Eric took two steps forward and picked me up in his arms. His mouth was on mine. He kissed and kissed me. His mouth was everywhere, on the side of my eyes, my nose, the tip of my chin. Hands came around my waist from behind. I knew instantly it was Noah. He breathed against me for a second before he kissed the back of my neck.

  I moaned. With my powers on, I needed… something or the shadow would lash out.

  “Guys,” Thaddeus’ voice called out. “I get it. I had the same experience you did, and she’s like a beacon of light and heat right now. Not here. Inside. Keep in mind she’s not in her right mind.”

  Eric kissed me one more time as Noah set me back on my feet. It was Brody who finally spoke. He hadn’t moved off the bench. “She needs to sleep. If we’re planning to go in the morning.”

  The sun hovered on the western horizon. The light and dark raced through me, pinging off every nerve. “I’m not going to sleep.”

  Aidan and Thaddeus exchanged a glance. It was Thaddeus who finally spoke. “Maybe we should go visit those Sisters hidden inside. Your powers are awake. Let’s see if you can use them with them.”

  * * *

  I ended up on my knees in front of Mika. She rocked with her hands over her knees. Still, with my body ready to heal pain, I was in the right position to finally help her. She was sad, terrified, and lost. For one second, it was like I could see what she did.

  We weren’t in the room together but rather a dark path with no ending. She ran forward, her eyes widening and her arms opening up as though she would embrace me. “Teagan.”