Read Past Be Damned Page 16


  Teagan pressed her head against my shoulder. She was so small. How did she hold so much strength inside that tiny package? “I wouldn’t want this to hurt you.”

  “Let us share it. Less pain for everyone involved. That’s part of the link. We can be there for you.” I wrapped my arms around her. “Do it, sweetheart.”

  She nodded. Teagan always smelled like vanilla, and the scent moved through me while she opened her link. Immediately, the full feeling of knowing she was right where she was supposed to be traveled through my mind. I could breathe better. My muscles relaxed slightly. And then the heat hit.

  Across the room, Eric grabbed the wall. The five of us were sharing a portion of her pain, and she still held some onto herself. How did she do this? All the time?

  She lifted her eyes and met my gaze. “Is it bad?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  Her smile was small. “I love you, Noah.”

  Aidan knelt next to us. “Thanks for doing this, Teagan. Thanks for saving those kids. It was… something.”

  It was.

  Teagan

  We stopped for the night at an inn. I didn’t dress like a Sister, so we weren’t immediately greeted with the kind of respect I’d have if I did. I preferred it that way. The bathroom was small but clean, and unlike our home, the hot water worked. I sat under the spray. And let it wash away some of my exhaustion.

  A quick glance in the mirror showed that the light the guys kept commenting on was fading. What was interesting was neither the innkeeper nor his wife had seemed to notice it at all. Maybe it was something only my men could see?

  A knock sounded, and I looked down to make sure I was covered. I guessed that was silly, but I didn’t walk around naked in front of any of them, at least not yet. I might be the kind of person who never really could. The towel gave me the modesty I needed.

  “Come in.”

  Noah poked his head around the doorframe. “Hey.”

  “Hi.” I smiled at him. He didn’t seem to have been hurt by sharing the heat with me earlier. I liked having them back in my head. “You okay?”

  He leaned against the wall. “Checking on you.”

  “Clean and happy for the moment.” I inched toward him. “Thanks for your help before. Noah, can I ask you a question?”

  He extended his hand, and I walked to him, taking it. Noah pulled me against his chest. He was like a blanket I wanted to wrap myself in. “You can always ask me anything.”

  I smiled. “Why do you suppose they didn’t kill me? The Sisterhood? All those years ago? They wanted to kill you and the others. Why did they drag me off? Fake my death? Why did they bother? And who gave you the poison that killed me? Who sold that to you?”

  I couldn’t see the past. I needed answers. Noah always told me the truth, he never tried to shield me from anything to protect me. “I don’t know why they didn’t kill you. I’m glad they didn’t. More than glad, I’m… overwhelmed with happiness on the subject. As for the poison, Eric thinks it came in a shipment we took from a man named Maurice. He sold us all kinds of things we needed to fuck with the Sisterhood. We didn’t want to hurt the Sisters, other than Katrina, so we did things that would affect Katrina personally. We used to kidnap her couriers and get information from them. The drug that should have knocked you out was used many times during that process. Instead, he gave us poison. Although he can’t really talk about it much yet, Eric thinks Katrina wanted her couriers to stop talking.”

  Wow. My mind whirled. “So she set them up to die?”

  My powers activated, and I groaned. I didn’t want a vision. I really would have preferred if I could have simply gone to bed. But there she was, Sister Katrina, right in front of my eyes.

  She stood, her long black hair flowing down her back and her face that never seemed to age, focused downward on a map. Her face was uncovered, so she had to be inside the Sisterhood. Not that she ever left there anymore. She was a pretender and bringing down the world. If we were ever going to get to the future I wanted, she had to be eradicated.

  “There.” She pointed. “That’s where we’ll get rid of them. Anne and her cronies will be gone for good.”

  I shuddered back into my body. The future was fluid, but I wasn’t being given a different scene to see. Katrina must be pretty sure of her plans. Noah stroked his thumb down my cheek. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. I saw a vision I don’t like. I’ll have to talk to Anne when we get back. Nothing to do tonight.”

  He made a sound that was close to hmmm. I knew he was going to kiss me, and my body came awake with desire. I wanted Noah, badly. His mouth met my own. His lips were cool like he’d been drinking cold water, and I ran my tongue along the bottom of them. He made the slightest moan and slipped a hand between us, dropping my towel to the floor.

  So much for my modesty… I didn’t want it anymore. I closed my link to the others, leaving only Noah’s open inside of me. Amazing how I could simply do that now, like I could breathe. It was instinctual.

  He picked me up in his arm and carried me out into the bedroom. When I’d gone into the shower, there had been three of them in the room—we’d taken two for the night—but we were alone now. Noah had probably scooted the others out.

  Noah had the most beautiful blue-gray eyes I’d ever seen. I reached up to touch his forehead, smoothing his long hair off it. Out of all of my guards, he was the most naturally gentle. While he was more than capable of defending us, he wasn’t always seeking to fight.

  “Teagan.” He stared down at me, an expression on his face I couldn’t read. “They gave me visions, the abilities to hear the ravens, to help you. Don’t ever question whether or not to use our link again, okay? I can take pain. I was born for it.”

  I shook my head. “You weren’t born for it. You’ve developed a tolerance and that’s something entirely different. I won’t ever cause you pain. Needlessly.”

  He shook his head. “We have been having this argument since we met. I don’t suppose we’re ever going to get anywhere, are we?”

  “Noah, I was so afraid of all of you. The guards before you had been so mean to me. I believed in what the others said, that guards held sisters in disdain. And then you guys were kind. I wanted nothing more than to see to it that you were safe. I know now we already loved each other, from a very long time ago, another place, another existence. Nothing about that fundamental feeling of wanting you secure has changed.”

  He nodded. “You were the brightest light we’d ever seen. I’ve never felt worthy. But the Raven and the Sister, they don’t get it wrong, do they? I loved you instantly. I’ll never stop doing so.”

  “Sweetest man.”

  He made love to my mouth. Noah never rushed unless he had to, and it was clear that he intended to take his time. I was completely naked beneath his dressed self and yet his hand stayed on my side and on the top of my head. He smoothed the hair on my scalp, running his fingers over it again and again.

  I didn’t want to rush, either. This was my Noah. I wanted all of him.

  13

  Noah stroked his hand down my leg, from my hip to my knee. It was the first time he’d moved that hand since he’d started kissing me. His eyes were closed, and every so often he’d make a noise in the back of his throat that sounded as much a sigh as a moan. It was really, really turning me on. I was wet, and he hadn’t gotten anywhere near touching me there yet.

  I wanted more of him, all of my Noah. Beneath him, I squirmed, unable to stop myself from rubbing against his body. He lifted his head, his gaze pure heat, and stared down at me. “Teagan.”

  I waited to see if he’d say more, and when he didn’t, I had to grin. Had kissing me rendered him without the use of speech? I pulled his shirt over his head. Reaching up, I bit down lightly on his chin. “Take your pants off, love.”

  His nostrils flared, and then he nodded. “Love you.”

  “I love you, too.” I stroked my hand lightly over the six tattooed on his chest while he s
truggled with his pants. When he did finally kick them aside, he tented his underwear, showing me how hot he had gotten in just the time we’d been kissing. I was glad I wasn’t alone in that respect.

  “Teagan.” His voice was low. “It’s been a very long time for me. And I told you how I needed you. I’m worried... I’m worried that I won’t be able to pleasure you enough.”

  I shook my head. “Maybe it’s me who won’t be able to pleasure you.”

  I wasn’t the only one in this relationship. Noah feeling loved and finding release was as important as me doing it. In fact, as far as I was concerned, in that moment, it was more important.

  I reached between us and yanked down the only remaining clothing between us. He hissed out a breath. Before he could say anything, I cupped the top of his cock, and he moaned. “Teagan, seriously, I’m not kidding.”

  I knew he wasn’t. I could actually feel him throbbing in my hand. “Let me do this.”

  “Then I won’t be able to...” He closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face. “And it’s important.”

  I stroked him from his tip to his balls. “There’s lots of ways to get me off, Noah. You taught me that years ago,” I whispered in his ear. “Remember?”

  He smiled. “I want to be in you, Teagan. I need to come home.”

  I pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him. He was right, I wasn’t going to come as fast as he did, but it didn’t matter. He thought of being inside of me as coming home? That was among the best things anyone had ever said to me. My heart turned over. I inched him inside of me. Noah was big, I’d never been able to fit him inside of me all at once. He cried out, his hand going over his eyes.

  “Noah, don’t hold back. I want you. I want you to come inside of me. Please do that.”

  I raised my hips to lift myself slightly out and then pressed immediately back down. He grabbed onto my hips, changing the timing. He wanted it slower and that was fine by me, as long as it was what he wanted and not what he thought I did.

  “Need you to come, Teagan. Not the same if you don’t.”

  “Make me come after.”

  He moved his hand and met my gaze. “Okay. I promise.”

  I smirked at him. “You know I’m going to hold you to that.”

  I sped up my movements and soon he thrusted in and out of me at a speed that told me without words that he was going to come. I leaned forward so his jerks moved against my clit, each time giving me a jolt of pleasure. Not enough time to make me come, but I loved the sensations just the same.

  Noah came on a moan, his hands digging into my hips. I sighed, watching him come was a gift. Noah wasn’t likely to share vulnerability with just anyone and in that moment he was truly wide open for the world. I would always take care of him.

  He came, again and again, and when he was done, I fell forward on top of him. I pressed my head to his chest, listening to his racing heart slow down moment after moment. Suddenly, I was flipped over. I shrieked. I’d had no idea he was about to do that. He scooted down, pushing my legs wide apart.

  What was he doing? “Noah… I…”

  His mouth came over me. I moaned. Okay, yes. His tongue stroked over my clit, swirling until he found a rhythm that made me cry out. Oh yes, Noah had a delicious mouth and he was using it to make me crazy.

  He had promised I was going to come, and he’d not been kidding. I was already wound up from all the fabulous playing I’d gotten to do with his cock, and it didn’t take long until I was gripping onto the bed like it was my lifeline. He pushed my knees back then licked me deeply. He moaned as though he loved the act, and it was all I needed. I came right against his mouth.

  Stars crossed in front of my eyes. By the divinity, I couldn’t catch my breath. Noah raised his head and grinned at me. For just a moment, everything was perfect. Even with the grin of male satisfaction crossing his face. I didn’t mind it one bit.

  * * *

  The door opened just as I was closing my eyes. I’d reopened my link to my guys and at that moment I was floating in a bath of love. No one was angry, no one was feeling even slightly disagreeable. For now, we were safe. Aidan snuck through the door, quietly. He slipped off his shoes and climbed into the bed with me.

  Noah sighed in his almost asleep state and readjusted so that they could both hold me. I listened to his heartbeat while Aidan’s heat completed the night. That was right, I was always supposed to sleep with two of them with me. I closed my eyes.

  Morning came fast. I opened my lids to find both of my guys were still asleep. What had woken me? I rubbed at my face and Aidan made a sound in the back of his throat. I sighed. They weren’t in some magical dream state, they were just asleep. With our lives, I could never be sure.

  My powers surged to life, a vision moving through me. Katrina set a book down in front of her. “The end is near.” She raised her gaze. “And I can feel you… Prophet. You can’t win, Teagan. Tell the others.”

  I shot back into my body just in time to see Aidan’s eyes open. He smoothed my hair off my forehead. “Does that hurt when it happens?”

  I shook my head. “No, sometimes I just don’t like having to see what I do.”

  He kissed my nose. “I’m sorry about before. I don’t know why I got so… off.”

  Noah pressed his legs over mine. I waited to see if he was awake, but he let out a sigh then went back to breathing evenly. Aidan grinned at me, and I kissed his chin. “I forgive you. The whole thing… I get it. I can’t change it. I have to be who I’m meant to be. I can’t be less.”

  “And you wouldn’t ask me to be.” He nodded. “You know me, I have to push and pull until I get to the place where things work.”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  That was the thing about loving them: I knew them, from the inside out. And that was what I had missed when we’d been separated. Like an ache I’d never fill. Even now, when they were back, I wasn’t sure I could trust it. What if I let the sensation of their love move through me, warm up the cold places that were still there, and then they disappeared? How would I survive it?

  After a breakfast with the innkeeper and his wife, we hit the road. I had a lot to report to Anne and the Sisterhood was calling me to return. If my vision had taught me anything, it was that Katrina needed to be stopped sooner than later. We all sat together on the top of the carriage. It was a rainy day, but not cold, with just enough humidity in the air to make my bones ache.

  But it was better than the sandstorm that was going to be coming soon. I didn’t need powers to see that eventuality, just the way the clouds swirled in the air. I scooted until I sat behind Eric. I pressed my head against his strong back. “We need to talk.”

  “I know.” He paused. “Are you going to throw me off the carriage?”

  I snorted. “No. Wait. Why would you think that?”

  “I injected you with poison.”

  As gently as I could, I bit down on his shoulder. He leaned against me. “When we’re alone, tonight, we’re going to talk, and I’m going to get you to believe me that it wasn’t your fault.”

  “Whoa.” Thaddeus called out, bringing the carriage to an abrupt stop. “There’s a big tree down ahead on the path.”

  I pulled back just a bit from Eric. “Was that here on the way over?” I didn’t remember it, but there were periods of time on that journey when I’d been otherwise occupied.

  Aidan shook his head. “No, and unless they had a freak storm that we missed, nothing weather related brought down that tree.”

  “Human or demon, then.” I looked around at all of them. “Let’s get it moved.”

  I went to hop off the carriage, but Eric grabbed me, his arm reaching backward to stop me from jumping down. “Not you. Not yet.”

  I rolled my eyes. This was going to be like the hedges at the Sisterhood. “I’m strong. Like it or not, the mines made me tougher. I can help move the tree.”

  “Sister Teagan.” Noah kissed my cheek. “You are so smart and yet som
ehow so clueless. We don’t want you to get down until we make sure it’s safe.”

  Brody nudged me on his way off the carriage. “Since you understandably don’t want to use your powers to be constantly monitoring us, then you have to allow us to continue to look for trouble.”

  I supposed that was fair enough. “Thanks for that little dig, Brody. Are you suggesting I should turn it on?”

  “No, actually,” he grinned. “Don’t get all worked up. I don’t want to know what’s going to happen to me either. Stay there. Don’t move.”

  I hated to be ordered around, but the truth of the matter was he was correct. I wasn’t going to be all that useful in a fight unless it was a demon, and my powers weren’t on. There weren’t any possessed or demons to deal with here. Hopefully, the most we were going to have to do was moving a tree.

  Thaddeus used a hand signal I didn’t recognize, motioning for Aidan and Brody to do something. Brody nodded and disappeared into the woods, going left. Aidan took the other side, disappearing right. Eric stayed by me and the carriage while Thaddeus followed Brody and Noah took off after Aidan.

  The sense that I should be very quiet moved over me. I rubbed the back of my neck. Ravens flew through the sky in the direction Noah had gone. Well, that couldn’t be good. Goosebumps broke out on my skin.

  Noah appeared on the edge of the woods and walked toward me at a brisk pace. When he spoke, it was to both Eric and me. “All I’m getting is stay alert.”

  So something was brewing. I sighed. If the birds were getting involved then I needed to treat this differently. I took a deep breath. I’d never sought the future when my guys were involved.

  Of course, I hadn’t been doing this that long, which meant that I really didn’t have any hard and fast rules yet. Just a sense of things.

  I reached for my power, and it flooded me. The world tilted sideways. There were so many futures, and my five guys in the vicinity had thousands of variations. That was good news. There were, of course, gravestones. But any of us could trip and fall, making that happen at any time.