Read Past Be Damned Page 19


  I’d see. There were some things I wanted done the way they usually were, because everything in my life was always up in the air, and I thought it would be great to have some small things stay as they were designed to be. They should ask me to marry them. That was neither here nor there at this present time.

  “As I was saying, your true guards would never have hated you,” Anne finally finished. “I agree with you, Teagan. We have to find their guards, and if not their specific guards then someone to guard them. Or Mika and Krystal can’t go out and use their powers.”

  Daniella nodded. “How do you propose we do that?”

  “I don’t know.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “Teagan, can you see any future where we’ve successfully done this and maybe get a sense of how?”

  “I can try.” What she was asking me to do was use my powers strategically. It was like hitting a specific target instead of wildly shooting everywhere with my abilities.

  I concentrated on Mika. If we managed to find her guards, that would be a first step. I pushed a few years in the future. Mika stood in our garden. She wore a green tunic over black leggings with boots that were worn down in the front. Her hair was long—much more so than it was now—and fell down her back in waves. She hummed as she watered one of my hedges. A man came up behind her. He had blond hair that fell to his shoulders. “We were looking for you, love.”

  I pushed to a different vision. This time she battled a demon. I winced as I watched her take a blow. Behind her, five men waited.

  I swept through four or five more possibilities for Mika. Of course, one of them was a gravestone. The trip and fall problem. All of us could die, anytime. There were more circumstances where she lived. That wasn’t what I technically sought, but I liked seeing it, nonetheless. As for how she got them? I wasn’t seeing...

  A knock sounded on the door, and I was wrenched out of maybe and into the now. I blinked rapidly. Throwing around my consciousness hurt. Noah poked his head in the door, looking around until he found me.

  “Sorry to disturb, ladies.”

  I cleared my throat. “What’s wrong?” He wouldn’t be inserting himself into a Sister meeting unless he really needed me.

  “The ravens spoke to me.”

  That was news we certainly needed to hear. “What did they say?” I got up and crossed to him, putting a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

  I didn’t love that Noah had to endure the communication with Brother Raven and his birds. My guys battled enough. They’d been through hell. But Noah saw this as his duty, and I wouldn’t get in the way of it, even as I worried that one day something might go wrong with the birds and he could end up somehow injuring his brain.

  Of course, that was exactly how they felt about what I did so I had to endure it the same way. Worrying was part of love.

  “They said do nothing to find the guards.”

  I blinked. “Do nothing?”

  “That’s right. Leave it, and they will come as they are called to. Brother Raven says that is his job.”

  Daniella shifted in her seat. “Well, then I’d love it if he could get to it.”

  I’d seen those guards in my vision. It seemed to be he was.

  “Thanks, Noah.” I leaned up and kissed him. “See you in a bit.”

  “Yep.” He nodded at everyone before he headed back out to the hallway and closed the door.

  Anne caught my gaze. “Did you see anything?”

  “Nothing I’m going to share. If Brother Raven felt strongly enough to insert himself into this conversation, then I’m going to suggest we listen to him.”

  Daniella nodded. “I barely remember him, but I’m going to agree. Divinity trumps personal want in our lives here at the Sisterhood. Otherwise we risk becoming Katrina.”

  Anne rubbed her eyes. I wondered if she’d been sleeping. “What was the second thing, Teagan? The opinion, not the vision.”

  “I think it’s time we go back to Katrina.”

  “I agree,” Anne said quickly. “If she’s blocking people from coming, here then we have no choice.”

  Well, then it really was time to plan. I turned on my power and nothing but blackness hit me. That wasn’t a good sign. Although I hadn’t seen a gravestone, so that was a relief. Either divinity didn’t want us to go to Katrina or the blackness meant something else.

  I was going to go with that interpretation. Divinity might trump personal needs most of the time. This instance, however, I needed to look that woman in the eyes and tell her that her reign of terror was over.

  She needed to stay out of my head.

  When I’d left the meeting with the other Sisters, the last thing I’d expected was to find myself crawling under the house. But Aidan was determined to see what was wrong with the hot water and apparently the only way to really do that was to see what the problem was beneath the house. Otherwise, the steam should have been heating everything up nice and toasty for us.

  I could have left Aidan do this by himself, but given that he needed someone else to hold the torch while he looked, and everyone else was busy, I’d volunteered. We crawled on our hands and knees through muck that was utterly disgusting. I contained my gag reflex with the idea that I would soon be able to take a hot shower and rinse all of it off.

  “You wouldn’t have done this in the past. You wouldn’t have been willing to get this gross.”

  I laughed. “Not loving it now. Just better accustomed to the yucky part of life. When you met me, I was a spoiled Sister.”

  He snorted. “Hardly. I appreciate the help.”

  “Of course.”

  Right then, my powers turned on. One second they were off, the next they were hot. This wasn’t the vision kind, this was the demon bit. “Aidan, stop.”

  He jerked to a halt. Through our link, he must have felt my powers turned on. “What is it?”

  “Not sure.” I looked, left and right. I had very good night vision, thanks to my powers, but I still didn’t see a demon. There were five Sisters, including me, living in the house. How was it possible there was a demon down below it and not one of us would notice?

  “Because I was asleep, Sister Teagan.” The voice that spoke was creaky and reminded me of a snake with the way it said its s sounds. “And I didn’t want to bother you anymore than I wanted to be bothered. I have been here a long time. Go back to your house and your battles and leave me be.”

  I sighed. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. Now that I know you are here, foul creature, I will have to deal with you.”

  “You will lose,” he sighed. “My rising will destroy your house. I have no interest in such a feat. Fight the demons who care. I do not wish to battle. You will come to no harm from me.”

  I stopped moving. I still couldn’t see the creature. It was as though he was the blackness itself. Was it possible? Could he go back to sleep while we continued on as we had done before we knew about him? I wasn’t being signaled, and my powers, which ran hot, were not blasting at me to destroy him, at least not yet.

  He hadn’t threatened me.

  Although, there were some truths that I held close to my heart. There was a natural order to things. Humans were a problem in this respect. We changed. We might begin as a good person and end quite differently. Or, the opposite could be true. Demons were a different situation altogether.

  They were, by nature, evil creatures. They possessed and destroyed. Over and over until they were stopped.

  “That is not necessarily true.”

  Aidan hissed out a breath. “You speak as though she has when she has not uttered a word. Twice now. Do you read her mind?”

  “I do, Raven.”

  That he would call Aidan by the title Raven proved this demon knew quite a lot. Before he could answer my unasked question, I vocalized it. “Why do you stay down here? Why do you not want to fight? Why do you want to be left alone? Why are you different?”

  “As long as there has been anything, we have existed. I did not wish this w
ar. I did not set about to destroy this world. If you do not thrive then we have nothing. There is a connection between us, and not until you understand that can any of you ever hope to win this war.”

  I turned toward my visions and found none. I shook my head. Twice, the ability I’d literally died to possess had failed me. What good was I?

  “I will need to speak to Anne.”

  He laughed. “As you will Sister Teagan. Anne is the right person for you to speak to. And I do apologize, I have no vested interest in any of this. And yet that Sister Katrina used me to get to you last night. It won’t happen again.”

  Well... that was something. When I would have backed up and left the dark demon where he was, Aidan spoke up. “Are you doing something to make the hot water not work?”

  I supposed that was a valid question.

  Anne pointed at the ground. “He’s down there?”

  “He is.”

  We’d gone through this three times. If I hadn’t seen him—or rather heard him—I wouldn’t have believed it either. A demon. Under the house. Who wanted to be left alone.

  I checked the sky. The spirits didn’t show themselves to me anymore, not since Brother Raven became capable of communicating with Noah. As it was, I saw no birds at all, which meant the ravens weren’t coming to tell Noah what I should do.

  My five wandered into the area, taking their places around Anne’s guards. Was I wrong or was some of the tension gone between the sets of men? Everyone was sort of falling into an easy understanding that we were all on the same side. That had to be good for the overall cause.

  “Should we leave? Or fight him?” She looked up at the sky. “You have no visions. The spirits and birds are quiet. Then this all falls to me.”

  Milo walked toward her. Her Fifth guard was the one who could hear the spirits, most of the time. “They led us here. Said make this a Sisterhood. Unless they were blind to whatever is down there, then they knew what they were doing. Anne, maybe they wanted you to a build a Sisterhood on top of that demon.”

  “The good news,” Aidan called out, “is that we will now have hot water. He’s moved away from the heating component.”

  “That is good news.” Anne whirled around. “For now, we stay where we are. Alert. Aware. Cautious. If we see any sign of a problem, we fight or we run. I’ve learned to trust my husbands. Milo is usually right. We shall see.”

  He winced. “Nothing like a little pressure.”

  Anne and her men dispersed. I was still thinking about what the demon had said. Katrina used him to get in my head. How had she done that? I had half a mind to go back down and ask him. I’d been too stunned to properly think earlier. Plus, he’d been answering the things I thought and that had been really, really disconcerting.

  “Do you trust us like that?” Thaddeus wrapped his arms around me and tugged me toward him. I grinned when he put his head down on my shoulder.

  I sighed. “I can’t possibly.”

  His body tensed. “Come again?”

  “She said she’d come to trust her husbands. I don’t have any husbands.” I shrugged and got out of his embrace. “Can’t trust a husband I don’t have. Anyone hungry?”

  I had five sets of eyes on me as I trounced my way toward the kitchen. I’d give them some time to stew on that. If my passive-aggressive play didn’t work, then I supposed I would propose. Or tell them to.

  I swirled around until I faced them, walking backward the rest of the way to the house. “I do trust you, of course. If you suggested we stay here in the house, I would also listen.”

  After lunch, the rest of the day went very smoothly. I worked in the garden, finally getting to fix the hedges the way I’d wanted to when I had no idea of who I really was. We would be leaving in two days to go take on Katrina. Anne insisted we take some time to rest before we went.

  She dug in the dirt next to me, planting seeds. I didn’t know if she was actually accomplishing anything but it seemed to soothe her. Most of the seeds she planted wouldn’t grow in this dirt. My years helping to tend the botanical gardens at the other Sisterhood had taught me quite a lot. But she’d found them in a drawer in the back of the house where things were not yet cleaned out and fixed.

  I could advise her on many things. Planting was not one I planned on taking on. This was her house. We were all welcome residents living under her care. I really didn’t want to be annoying.

  “When I left for the Sisterhood to confront Katrina, I was pregnant.”

  I nodded. “That’s right. So odd that you and Daniella could have babies when the rest of us couldn’t.”

  She placed a hand on my arm, stopping me mid-dig from scooping down in the soil. “You know that was one of the lies, right?”

  I stopped moving. “What?”

  “We can all have babies. They dosed the guards up there in the other Sisterhood with some herb that kept them sterile. Six months off, they can make babies again. Had you forgotten? Just not focused on it?”

  I hadn’t given the idea of pregnancy much thought. I should have. Daniella had children, and Anne had a baby. So what in the world had been the matter with me that I hadn’t stopped for one second and questioned the lie about babies? I’d been very involved in life or death things but that was no excuse. We’d talked about children—my confession about my true fear that I would be a lousy mother had been a conversation—but we’d taken no measures to try to prevent my conceiving.

  Sweat formed on the back of my neck. Was it the sun or my internal stress? “I’m old. I’m probably not getting pregnant.”

  Anne set down her shovel. “You’re what? Thirty-one?”

  “Yes.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Do you really think you’re old?”

  I sat back on my rear end. “No. How would I know if I was pregnant?”

  “In my case, Daniella told me. Could you look in your visions?”

  I supposed that I could. “I’ve tried not to follow my own timeline. Seeing the potential gravestones on the guys is too much. I can’t stay objective.”

  “I can understand that.” She hugged me to her. “Did you get your monthly visitor?”

  I smiled. That was how they referred to our menses at the other Sisterhood. Like the knocking on the table, some things traveled with us. “I stopped getting it regularly at the mines. I haven’t really been giving it very much thought since. I don’t know the last time I had it, actually.”

  She stared skyward. “Go ask Daniella.”

  I sat on my bed and looked out the window. The guys were doing various tasks around the house. I’d sort of lost track of them. They were all fine, I knew that much through our link, and I was keeping my emotions to myself, which was easier said than done.

  I was pregnant.

  I supposed I could look and see if it was a boy or a girl if I wanted to. Turn on my powers and know. I closed my eyes. But what if it was a gravestone? How would I live through even seeing that possibility?

  A knock sounded, and I forced myself to smile. “Come in.”

  Eric poked his head around the corner. “Hey, we’re all going to come in. Unless it’s a bad time.”

  I opened my arms. “Never a bad time for the five of you.”

  They filed inside, lined up in numerical order. I gazed at them. “Something up?”

  Thaddeus rocked back on his heels. “Well, you said something earlier. Actually twice now. About husbands. Specifically you not having them.”

  Aidan took over for Thaddeus. “So, I asked Anne’s guys how they went about making that happen. You know how much I hated that.”

  Eric shook his head. “He asked, but I listened. Daniella married them. I don’t know that anyone married Daniella to her guys. They may have simply decided that they were married.”

  Noah smiled. “So which would you like, Teagan? A ceremony or a decision? We can do either.”

  “Because we feel married to you, completely committed, and if you need something to call us your husbands than let’
s do that.”

  Like they had practiced this—and maybe they had—Thaddeus spoke again. “We love you.”

  They all stood there, so completely vulnerable. They were wearing their love for me on their sleeves. “I should have just asked you. I played games. Who has time for that?”

  Aidan rubbed the back of his neck. “We should probably have thought of this on our own. To us, finding you again, cemented everything for us. We are here. You’re our wife.”

  I got up on my knees. “It’s possible that I am not acting exactly the way I should be.” I never expected to utter the words I was going to say. “I’m pregnant.”

  Silence fell over the room. My five guys made eye contact in a silent conversation I couldn’t follow. Brody sat down next to me on the bed, he rubbed my back gently. “That is fantastic news.”

  “Scary”—Noah got on his knees in front of the bed—“and fantastic. How will we keep you all safe? We live with a demon.”

  Thaddeus, Aidan, and Eric hadn’t spoken. This didn’t surprise me even a little bit. Thaddeus was paused, considering all angles, Aidan would be wondering about upcoming threats, and Eric was probably thinking about health, nutrition, and childbirth. A lot of women died bringing their babies into the world.

  There was always a gravestone.

  “Let’s not stand on formality. We’re having a baby. You’re mine. From this moment on, you’re my husbands. Because we say so.”

  Aidan nodded. “We need three bedrooms. One for you, with two of us, an attached one for the other three and the baby’s room. One of us will always be in there, too.”

  I wondered if he’d even heard me about husbands. This was how Aidan loved me. He planned. Noah got to his feet. “I’m going to scout the house, find three good ones, and we renovate as needed.”

  Brody kissed my cheek. “Are we still going to Katrina?”

  “The best way I can make this baby safe is by getting rid of her, taking her out of power.”

  Sooner rather than later.

  16

  The other Sisterhood wasn’t just a hop, skip, and jump away. We had to take multiple trains to get to our destination and then travel from the train stop to the Sisterhood. My pregnancy, which I hadn’t known even existed until the day before we left to go, rode me hard the entire trip. I threw up on the trains. Over and over again.