Marley and I walked the wilderness for three days. It was almost entirely mountains. The sights were beautiful, surreal and we had finally pinpointed our location thanks to a sign that was still intact and upright; we were walking through the remains of Kentucky and going into Tennessee. We walked into a house on the second day to scavenge for food. An older couple was residing inside and offered us dinner. We stayed there for the night and continued walking the following day. We weren’t thriving, but I finally felt stability for a short time.
We passed two hikers the following day dressed in clothes that were fully intact and seemed to show the two had not been affected by the war in the least. In fact, nothing in the area seemed to have had any impact from the war. They were still living as if nothing had happened. The hikers were even polite. They waved to us and smiled as we passed. I assume that everyone believed that Marley and I were twins upon seeing us, despite not having been questioned about it.
Marley looked to me and said: “Does anything seem strange about this to you?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “Everyone’s too nice.”
“I’m glad I’m not the only one seeing that." Marley tilted his head in the other direction, as if making note of the wilderness.
“So what are you thinking?”
“Nothing, I guess. Just… keep your eyes open and keep looking for anything else weird,” Marley suggested. He sounded slightly suspicious.
“Do you think they know who we are?” I asked intuitively.
“Some might have suspicions, but this area was cut off from most of the war. Most of the people here don’t care much about what’s going on in the rest of the world,” Marley explained. He made a quick leap and tripped over a loose branch and nearly fell to the side of the mountain. He gripped a tree for support and I latched onto his jacket to pull him back up. We both peered over the side to see the fate he almost met; it was possibly a thousand feet down. “Thanks, Dustin.” He caught his breath and picked the loose pieces of brush out of his jacket. I can’t let you die. Then I’d be alone again and...
We had made it to the peak of a particularly tall mountain nearing the end of the day. We realized we had to make it down to the other side. There were more houses on the other end that may have housed people that would let us stay the night. We continued our descent, but the sun’s descent was quicker. It was nearing nighttime and, as it got darker, we heard more and more animals in the wilderness. I started to shake as it got colder. The animal noises we could discern began sounding less like the small and fuzzy variety and more like the large, feral types. I wasn’t sure if I was shaking more from fear or the cold.
“What kind of animals do you think are out there?” I asked worriedly. I attempted to cover up the fear in my voice but it was most likely still audible.
“If anything I’ve heard about Tennessee is true then most likely mountain lions and bears. The kind that want to kill you,” Marley said with a chuckle in his voice.
“Great,” I replied quietly. People I can reason with. This is different.
I peered over the ridge and noticed a silhouette. It was dark at this point. I quickly pointed the silhouette out to Marley and he instructed me to get down behind a rock. It moved slowly and appeared cautious in its movements.
“What do we do?” I whispered.
“Well, we can’t stay here all night,” Marley said back. He scanned the area, worry in his gaze. Worry turned to fright as he began to see that our possible avenues of escape were slim in the event that the animal would attack us.
“What do you think it is? It looks like a bear."
“It doesn’t look friendly, son,” Marley stated bluntly.
“What weapons do you have?” I put my hand out toward him, half-expecting something to be placed in it.
“Are you crazy?” Marley asked angrily. “They took away everything we had, remember? That means no weapons.”
“Sorry, I forgot,” I replied. “I’m nervous.” I have to keep my head straight. If I start to fear what’s out there then I’m already dead. I’ve faced worse than a bear.
I was relying more and more on Marley. I didn’t want to, but it was natural for me. I was dependent. The voice in my head was right. I was never meant to be a leader. That’s why I found Marley. This was fate. Finding him was the universe letting me know I was never meant to be put in charge of anyone.
“It looks like this is it, Marley,” he whispered to himself.
“Are you talking to me?”
Marley gave me a concerned look and continued his gaze for a moment. Finally, he diverted his eyes back to the looming threat.
“How old are you?” I asked suddenly. I don’t know what spawned my questioning other than fear.
“What?” Marley asked. He shot me a confused look.
“How old are you?” I repeated.
“I’m thirty,” Marley replied almost annoyedly.
“Why did you pretend you were dead?” I asked in a manner appropriate for the kind of interviews conducted before the war, not for the situation we were in.
“This isn’t the time for that." Marley was becoming more frustrated with my questions. He was putting all of his focus on the threat not far from us.
“Now’s the only time!” I said as loudly as I could without alerting the nearby predator.
“Alright, let’s talk then,” he said reluctantly. He leaned up a little bit to get a better look while still talking to me.
“Answer my question." I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back down.
We could hear the unmistakable sound of a large animal getting closer to us. This hurried our speech.
“I wasn’t ready. I killed enough people when I blew up the mayor’s office. That was hard enough for me to live with. Then I realized they would want me to lead them all. I couldn’t just be the catalyst. That meant more deaths on my hands,” Marley explained somberly.
“But all of these people died afterwards because of you anyway,” I rebutted. “There’s no escaping that.”
“Look, kid, this is what helps me sleep at night. Let it go,” Marley said back.
“You’re scared,” I pointed out abruptly.
“Of course I’m scared. There’s a goddamn bear over there."
“No, you’re scared to admit that you’re the bad guy,” I said with a feeling of revelation coming over me.
Marley looked at me with a pompous grimace and replied: “Only time will tell who the bad guy is.”
“What do you mean?”
“Whoever wins the war are the good guys. I’ll either be a savior and a martyr or… well... We’ll see,” Marley said with remorse in his voice. His head lowered slowly in shame and probably consideration. What’s going through that head of yours? Surely you can’t believe everything you say.
“Now I understand,” I stated disheartenedly. “This was inevitable to you. You believed a revolution was coming no matter what. You didn’t have to be the catalyst. You just wanted to be.”
“No, son. I’m not the catalyst. You are,” Marley said with a smile.
“I lived it, but it’s your name,” I explained, attempting to take the blame off of myself.
“Tell me, why did you pretend to be me?” he asked, still smiling.
I said back earnestly: “For my brother.”
“No, you were scared. It seemed like a safe bet."
The bear was getting closer. Despite this, we were becoming more relaxed in our tone and movements.
“Stop talking,” Marley said with his eyes closed. “This bear is death come for me. I accepted this a long time ago.”
“No, you’re lying. You haven’t accepted shit. We’re leaving,” I said as I got to my feet.
I grabbed Marley’s arm and picked him up. Lunging him forward, we made our way down the side of the cliff. We tumbled slightly and tripped on loose branches jutting out of the ground. Marley fell once, but managed to recover quickly. We heard the pr
edator approaching quickly from behind, but didn’t stop to look.
A quick snapping noise and Marley was stopped in his tracks. I looked to the ground hurriedly and realized he had sprung a trap meant for a bear. It encapsulated most of his leg and sent him to the ground, screaming in pain. Subtlety was off the table now. The bear knew exactly where we were and was rushing towards us. No! I can’t lose him. I can’t lose another.
“Marley!” I yelled in disarray.
I knew I couldn’t get the trap off of him in time. The bear neared closer and closer and I could see its fangs upon looking up. This is it for him. He can’t escape but… I can. A sense of fear and urgency came over me. It was time to decide what to do. I attempted to reach for the trap, but realized I was stuck in place. I was too scared to move. It was a feeling of shock I hadn’t anticipated for. Marley’s eyes widened and looked to me. He knew it was over. I knew it was over. He’s accepted his fate. It’s time for me to accept his as well. No, I can’t think like that. I can save him. I don’t know how but running away isn’t the way to go. I need to save him.
“Get this thing off of me!” Marley shouted helplessly to me.
I began stepping in the other direction. It’s over for Marley. The trap had done him in so I began to walk away. I kept my eyes trained on him as he continued to stare at me. My feet carried me further away. Finally, I began running in the opposite direction as I heard the bear encroach on Marley. His scream was loud and violent. He began cursing at me and crying. I couldn’t bring myself to go back.
Suddenly, a gunshot was heard that cleared the nearby trees of wildlife. The blast forced me to stop moving. Is Marley okay? How can I go back and show my face even if he is okay? It doesn’t matter. I have to. I hurried back to him. Shame came over me. I should have ran the other way and never turned back. I shouldn’t show my face to Marley. What is he going to think of me?
I came upon Marley where a huge black bear was lying on top of him. He was struggling to get it off, but was making no progress. I attempted to help, but the two of us could barely move it. A large man with a rifle slung over his shoulder approached and helped us lift the bear. The strength of all three of us was finally enough to push the bear off of Marley. He began breathing rapidly and I stood up to stare at the stranger that saved us.
“Trying to get eaten alive out here?” the man asked with an uncomfortable smile.
“We’re lost, sir,” I replied weakly.
“I had a feeling. Sorry about your leg there,” the man said sympathetically to Marley.
“It hurts! Do you think we can do meet and greets later?! Get me to a doctor!” Marley screamed.
The man agreed and sprung the trap from Marley’s leg.
We spent the night descending the mountain and carrying Marley down the side of it. The man disinfected what he could of the gaping holes in Marley’s leg with alcohol, which forced him to scream savagely.
During our descent, Marley looked to me weakly and said: “You left me to die, son.”
I looked back to him and replied bleakly: “You were right, though. You died a long time ago.”
“What’s he talking about?” the man asked, looking to me.
I ensured the man it was nothing to worry about. He reluctantly accepted not to persist with further questions.
We finally neared town in the middle of the night. There were only a few houses and they appeared to be in rough conditions. Lights were still on in them, however, which meant electricity was working in the area. They were old-style country homes in a valley in between huge mountains. I never thought I’d live long enough to see something like this.
The man led us to the town doctor. We laid Marley on the table and stepped outside to let the doctor work on Marley.
The man suddenly said to me: “Where are you two from?”
“Michigan,” I replied.
“Why did you leave?” he asked concernedly.
“You thought things were bad before the war. The state is nearly decimated now,” I explained.
“I never really followed on those kinds of things,” he said to me.
“What do you mean?”
“The economy. State by state. I guess I never really concerned myself with those things. I did what I do here and that was that. I made an honest living and I still do. All of us here do.”
“It’s nice to see that after all of this traveling,” I said back. “It’s nice to see a place get along well.”
“What kinds of things are out there?” he asked with intrigue.
“Cannibals,” I replied.
“Did you meet any?” he asked with engrossing curiosity.
“Not that I know of. I mean there’s no way to tell who’s what until the moment comes, right? Maybe I did, though. Maybe some of the people I met out here are eating somebody right now. I don’t want to go back and find out,” I explained solemnly. I kept my gaze trained on his eyes.
“Well, you and your friend traveled pretty far. You two must be quite the survivors,” he said to me in astonishment.
“Yeah, my journey’s far from over. I mean I think anyway. I know we still have a long way to go,” I said to him.
“Where are you headed?” he asked me.
“Originally Texas. But we were starting to think about Florida,” I said back.
“We heard there weren’t good happenings in either of those areas. Big concentrations of Hyenas,” he disclosed to me.
“We’re just looking to blend in,” I told him. “We just want to survive.”
“You and your… partner?” he asked carefully.
“What do you mean?” I shot him a confused look.
“Your partner. You two are…”
“Gay? No. I mean I don’t think he is. Not that I care,” I replied.
“No hard feelings. Just trying to get an idea of what our new guests are like,” he said cheerfully.
“That’s understandable.”
“Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you’d like. Given you and your friend aren’t afraid of a little hard work.” He smiled and laughed lightly.
The man pointed out a log cabin down the road that we would be staying at. He took me over to it and got me situated. I asked if Marley would be alright and he assured me he would.
I spent the night in solitude. Noises could be heard outside from animals howling and trees scraping on the windows of the cabin. It was much colder than when we were at the peak of the mountain. I was wearing my winter jacket in the bed, trying to get warm and comfortable. I accepted that it wouldn’t happen. I was supposed to sleep well that night. I finally had a bed to sleep in. A comfortable one. It was then that I realized that it wasn’t my living conditions that made me stay awake at night. It was me. It was what I went through. I couldn’t stop thinking about everything. But what was there to even think about? Everyone was dead. I was lucky to have any company at all. Marley would most likely be dead soon too, though. How could he survive the holes in his leg and the blood gushing out?
Medicine was nowhere near what it was before the war. What medicine we had left, that was. It wasn’t like companies were sprouting up all the time offering medicine or medical services. Most areas had devolved to using other forms of currency by now, too. Every area valued different things and some relied on simple barter. Therefore, many reputable people from before the war were reduced to scroungers. Fortunately, that was almost exclusively in the areas affected directly by the war.
These thoughts were keeping me up. I decided to close my eyes and relax. How was it they said to clear your mind to sleep? Counting sheep? No, that’s stupid. Maybe I should have just counted those damn sheep because I was awake for another three hours thinking about our future in that town. At least I wasn’t thinking about the past. I was finally looking forward. I was just unsure if Marley would be alive to experience it with me.
I couldn’t stand the thought of losing another companion. On
e would think I would lose all compassion for those with me at this point after having lost so much. On the contrary, it felt good just to have somebody with me who had experienced so much that I had also.
Halfway through that thought, I lost consciousness and finally fell asleep. I was at peace for the night.