CHAPTER VI
TABLE MANNERS
Patty's dining-room was beautiful. She argued that as an appreciablepercentage of one's waking hours were spent there, care and thoughtshould be given to its appointment.
The colouring was soft old blue, and the furniture of mahogany. Thelights were pleasantly shaded and the sideboards and cabinets showedattractive silver and glass in immaculate order.
"The flowers are in your honour," said Patty, smiling, as they took theirplaces at the table, in the centre of which was a bowl of azaleas.
"Ho, ho! You needn't have done that! I ain't accustomed to such grandthings."
"Now, Azalea, flowers on the table aren't especially grand. I think Ishould have them,--if I could,--if I were eating in the middle of theDesert of Sahara."
"I believe you would," said Bill, smiling at her; "Patty is aflower-worshipper, Zaly. Zaly's the name your mother called you whenyou were a tiny mite. Tell me about your father? Was he willing to beleft alone?"
"Oh,--he didn't mind. What lovely silver you have, Patty."
"Yes; they are my wedding presents."
"Oh, tell me all about your wedding!"
"I didn't have any. I mean, not a big reception and all that. We weremarried in haste,--so we could have a chance to repent at leisure,--ifwe want to."
"And do you?" asked Azalea, with such a serious air that the other twolaughed.
"I haven't had leisure enough for _that_ yet," Bill declared.
"And I don't know what leisure means," Patty said. "I'm busy from morningtill night. If we ever get any leisure,--either of us,--perhaps we'llbegin on that repentance performance."
But Patty's happy face, as she turned it toward her husband, left littledoubt as to her state of satisfaction with her life. Though, as she said,she was always busy, it was by her own wish, and she would have beenmiserable if she had had nothing to do.
Azalea, as Bill expressed it later to Patty, was a whole show!
The girl was ignorant of manners and customs that were second nature toher hosts, and was even unacquainted with the uses of some of the tablefurniture.
But this they had expected, and both Patty and Bill were more than readyto ignore and excuse any lapses of etiquette.
However, they were not prepared for Azalea's attitude, which was that ofself-important bravado. Quite conscious of her shortcomings, the girl'snature was such that she preferred to pretend familiarity with herstrange surroundings and she assumed an air of what she consideredelegance that was so funny that the others had difficulty to keep fromlaughing outright.
She was especially at great pains to extend her little finger when sheraised a glass or cup, having evidently observed the practice amongpeople she admired. This finally resulted in her dropping the glass andspilling water all over her dinner plate.
"Hang it all!" she cried; "ain't that _me_! Just as I get right into theswing of your hifalutin ways, I go and upset the applecart! Pshaw!You'll think I'm a country junk!"
"Not at all," said Patty, kindly, "'twas an accident that might happen toanybody. Norah will bring you a fresh plate. Don't think of it."
"No, I won't have a fresh plate. I'm going to keep this one, to serve meright for being so awkward." And no amount of insistence would persuadethe foolish girl to have her plate changed.
"Nonsense, Azalea!" Farnsworth remonstrated, "you can't eat that chicken,floating around in a sea of potato and water! Don't be a silly! Let Norahtake it."
"No, I won't," and a stubborn look came into the black eyes. But in themeantime, Norah had attempted to remove the plate,--carefully, not tospill the water.
Azalea made a clutch at it, and succeeded in overturning the wholething,--and the food fell, partly in her lap and partly on the prettytablecloth.
"Never mind," said Patty, gaily. "Leave it all to Norah,--she'll do aconjuring trick."
And sure enough, the deft waitress whisked the details of the accidentout of sight, spread a large fresh napkin at Azalea's place, set anotherplate for her, and was passing her the platter of chicken almost beforeshe realised what was going on.
"Well, I never!" she exclaimed; "that was _some_ stunt! Say, I'm sorry,Cousin Patty,--but I'm a little kerflummixed,--and I may as well own upto it."
"Oh, don't be that!" Patty laughed, carelessly. "Forget the past andenjoy a piece of hot chicken. It's real good,--isn't it?"
"It's great! I never tasted anything like it!" Whereupon, Azalea tookin her fingers a wing and, with both elbows on the table, proceeded toenjoy it in her own informal way. But both little fingers were carefullyextended at right angles to the others. She glanced at them now and then,to make sure.
Her equanimity restored by Patty's kindliness and tact, the girl lapsedinto what was, doubtless, her customary way of eating. She displayedundue gusto, smacked her lips at the appearance of a dainty dish and whenthe dessert proved to be ice cream, she rolled her eyes ceilingward, andpatted her chest in a very ecstasy of anticipation.
It was too much for Farnsworth. He appreciated Patty's patience andendurance, but he knew just how she felt. And it was _his_ cousin who wasacting like a wild Indian at their pretty home table!
"Azalea," he said,--Norah had left the dining-room,--"who brought you up?Your mother died some years ago. With whom have you lived since?"
"Why,--oh,--only with Papa."
"But Uncle Thorpe,--I remember him well,--was a simple soul, but he was aquiet, well-behaved man. Why didn't he teach you to be more restrained inyour ways,--especially at table?"
"Restrained? Oh, you mean I eat too much! Well, I have got a bigappetite, but to-night I guess I'm specially hungry. Or else your eatsare specially good! You don't mind how much I eat, do you, Cousin Patty?"
"Of course she doesn't," Farnsworth went on, trying to look severe butobliged to smile at Azalea's total unconsciousness of any wrong mannerson her part. "But she does care if you behave like a 'wild and woolly,'although she's too polite to say so!"
"Wild and woolly nothing! I've been awful careful to crook out myfinger,--and that's the very reason why I upset the tumbler!"
"That's true," agreed Patty, "and so, Zaly, suppose you discontinue thathabit. It isn't done this year."
"Honest? That so? I'd be mighty glad to quit it!"
"Do, then," put in Bill. "And while we're on the subject, you won't mindif I go into it a little more deeply,--will you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, for one thing, they don't put elbows on the table this season asmuch as formerly."
"Pooh! I know that! I didn't mean to,--but I forgot. I guess I know howto behave,--if I don't always do it!"
"I'm glad you do, Zaly,--and, listen, dear, you're my relative, you know,and I'm going to ask you to try to _use_ your knowledge,--for Patty istoo polite to mention such subjects!"
"Oh, I don't mind! Pick on me all you like,--either of you. I supposethere are some frills I'm not onto,--but I'm quick at catchin' on,--andI'll get there, Eli!"
Norah returned then, and the subject was not continued. Coffee was servedin the library and the small cups excited Azalea's scorn.
"Skimpy, I call it!" she cried. "And where's the milk?"
"You may have cream if you wish it, Azalea," said Patty, a little tiredof smiling. "Norah will bring some."
"Oh, let me get it," and Azalea jumped up. "I remember, Patty, you toldme not to trouble the servants too much."
"Sit down!" Farnsworth said, in a tone that made Azalea jump. "Wait forNorah to bring it."
"Oho! _you_ believe in making the lazy things work, don't you! What's theuse of hiring a dog, and doing your own barking? That's right!"
Patty struggled with her annoyance, overcame it, and making a gesture toBill to keep quiet, she warded off his angry explanations, and took thesituation in her own hands.
"Here's cream, Azalea," she said, as the maid reappeared, "many peoplelike it in after dinner coffee, and you're very welcome to it."
"Licking good!" was the verdict, as
Azalea stirred her coffee, and drankthe tiny cupful at one draught. "The sample's fine! I'll take a regularsized cup, please."
"For breakfast," smiled Patty. "That's all we serve at night. Are youfond of music, Azalea?"
"You bet! Why, we've got some records that are just bang-up!"
"I remember Uncle Thorpe was quite a singer," said Bill; "do you sing,too?"
"Not so's you'd notice it! My voice is like--"
But the description of Azalea's singing voice was interrupted by theentrance of two young people. Betty Gale and her brother Raymond steppedin at the open French window, and laughingly announced themselves asdaring intruders.
"Very welcome ones," declared Patty, jumping up to greet them, and thenFarnsworth introduced Azalea.
"You're the real purpose of our visit," said Betty, her charming littleface alight with gay welcome. "We adore our neighbours, and they simplyworship us,--so we're quite prepared to take any friends or relatives ofeither of them into our hearts and homes."
"My!" said Azalea, unable to think of any more fitting response, andtaking Betty's outstretched hand, with her own little finger carefullyextended.
Betty Gale's eyes opened wide for a fraction of a second, then she asquickly accepted the situation, and said, cordially, "I'm sure we shallbe friends. And you must like my scapegrace brother, too, if only for mysake."
"At first," supplemented Raymond, as he stepped toward Azalea, "but assoon as you know me better, you'll love me for myself alone,--I feel sureof that!"
"My!" said Azalea again. Her bravado deserted her in the presenceof these two merry visitors. They seemed so at ease, so knowing, socarelessly polite, that Azalea felt as if they were beings from someother sphere. The Farnsworths, she knew, made allowance for her becauseshe was a guest in their household, but these people seemed to expect herto be like themselves, and she suddenly realised she couldn't be as theywere.
A strange contradictory streak in her nature often made her assume anaccomplishment she did not possess, and now, knowing she couldn't chat intheir lively fashion, she took refuge in an attitude of bold hilarity,and talked loud and fast.
"I'll love you, if you make love to me good and proper," she said, with aburst of laughter. "But I've got a beau back home, who'll go for you, ifhe knows it!"
"Oh, we'll keep it secret," returned young Gale; "I'm awfully good atkeeping secrets of that sort! Trust me. And it shall be my earnestendeavour to cut out said beau. Meet me halfway, won't you?"
"Yes, indeed, and then some! I'm a great little old halfway meeter, youbet!"
"I'm sure of it!" Gale was laughing now. "Let's go out on the verandahand talk it over."
"Don't trust him too implicitly, Miss Thorpe," warned Betty; "my brotheris a first-grade scalawag,--and I want you to be forewarned!"
"There, there, Sis, I'll do my own forewarning. Come along, Miss Thorpe,we'll sit under the spreading wistaria tree."
The two disappeared, and there was a moment's silence, and then Pattysaid,
"Our cousin is from Arizona, and it's hard for her, at first, to adaptherself to our more formal ways. It must be great out there,--all widespaces, and big, limitless distances--"
"God's country!" said Farnsworth, who always had a love for his Westernwilds.
"Nix!" cried Betty, "I've been there, and it's just one cactus afteranother!"
"Well, cactuses are all right,--in their place," said Patty, smiling."They're as much verdure as maples or redwoods."
"Quite different kind of verdure," said Betty. "Now, Patty, I want to dosomething for your cousin,--right away, I mean, to help you launch her."
"Oh, no, Betty; you're awfully kind, but--"
"Yes, I shall, too. I'm your nearest neighbour, and it's my right. Isuppose you'll give her a luncheon or something, first, and then I'llfollow it with a tea, or a dance, or whatever you like. There'll be lotsof things for her later on, so I want to get my bid in first. How prettyshe is."
"You're a darling, Betty," cried Patty, enthusiastically, touched by herfriend's kindness, "but,--well, there's no use mincing matters,--I'm notsure Azalea is quite ready to be presented to society."
"Oh, but your cousin--"
"Indeed she isn't!" put in Farnsworth, "I want you to understand thatshe's _my_ cousin,--not Patty's. And, also my wife's quite right,--Azaleais not ready for social functions,--of any sort. You see, Betty, we can'tblink the facts,--she's of the West, western,--in the least attractivesense. I'm fond of my home, and unashamed of my people, but all the same,I'm not going to have Patty embarrassed by the ignorance and awkwardnessof an untutored guest. And so here's where I set my foot down. We acceptno invitations for Azalea until we think she is in trim to make a correctappearance in society."
"Oh, Cousin Bill, I overheard you and I think you're just horrid!" Azaleacame running back into the room, while Raymond Gale followed, evidentlyin a dilemma how to act.
"Cousin Patty would let me go, I know, and I _want_ to go to Miss Gale'sto a party! Just because I upset a glass of water at dinner, you're madat me! It isn't fair! I think you're real mean!"
The girl went up to Farnsworth and almost scowled at him as she awaitedhis response.
But he looked at her steadily,--even sternly.
"Of course it must be as Patty says," he told her, at last, "but I willsay, Azalea, that I'm surprised at you--"
"Why should you be surprised at me? You invited me to come and see you.If I'm not good enough to visit you, I'll go home again. You didn't askme any questions,--you just said come along,--and I came. I ain't aswell,--like these friends of yours,--but I am your cousin, and you'vegot no right to scorn me!"
"That's so, Bill," Patty said, seriously; "and here's another thing.Betty has met Azalea now,--she knows just what she is. If she stillcares to ask her to her house, I shall approve of her going. I want to doall I can for our cousin, and there's no better way to teach people toswim, than to throw them into the water!"
"Bully for you, Cousin Patty!" Azalea cried, her eyes snapping at Bill."I'm not so bad as I might be, and I'll do just what you tell me."
"I'm sure you will," agreed Betty, and Farnsworth looked at herappreciatively, feeling a deep sense of gratitude at the way she washelping Patty out.
"It seems hard on you, Azalea," he went on, "to talk of you likethis,--as if you were not present,--but it is so. You need,--I'm notgoing to hesitate to tell you,--you need a thorough training in matterspertaining to polite society. Unless you are willing to accept ourteachings and do your best to profit by them,--I am going to send youback home! For much as I want to be kind and helpful to my youngcousin,--I will not even try, if it makes my wife any trouble orembarrassment."
"Oh, pshaw, Little Billee,--leave Azalea to me,--I can manage her."
"You can't, Patty, without her cooperation and willingness. Will youpromise those, Azalea?"
"Sure I will! I'm a great little old promiser,--I am!"
"And will you keep your promises?"
"You bet! I don't want to go home when I've just got here! And if mylearning things is my meal ticket,--then I'm ready to learn."
Farnsworth sighed. He had had, as yet, no chance to talk to Patty alone,since their misfit visitor had arrived. He had been firmly resolved tosend her home again,--until now, that Patty and Betty seemed willing totake her in hand. If they were, it would be a great injustice to theWestern girl not to give her the chance to learn refinement and culturefrom those two who were so well fitted to teach her.
And, anyway,--he continued to muse,--perhaps Azalea's worst faults weresuperficial. If she could be persuaded to amend her style of talk andher _gauche_ manners, perhaps she was of a true fine nature underneath.His Uncle,--so-called,--and his Aunt Amanda, he remembered as kindly,good-hearted people, of fair education, though lacking in elegance.
"Oh, don't take it so seriously," cried the vivacious Betty, as she notedFarnsworth's thoughtful face: "leave the little girl to us for a fewweeks,--and you will be surprised at the result! You'll do
just as I tellyou,--won't you, Azalea?"
"If you tell me the same as Cousin Patty," was the reply, and the strangegirl gave Patty a look of loyalty and admiration that won her heart.
"That's right, Zaly, dear," Patty cried, "you're my girl, first, last andall the time! And we'll both do as Betty says,--because she knows it all!She knows lots more than I do."
"Indeed I do!" and the saucy Betty laughed. "Well, then, I'll arrange fora dance for Azalea very soon. Do you dance?"
"I don't know," replied Azalea, "I never tried."