CHAPTER XVIII
A COQUETTISH COOK
"Hello, Pattypet," said Mona, appearing at Patty's bedside nextmorning. "How's your chocolate? Does it suit you?"
"Delicious," said Patty, who was luxuriously nestling among her pillowswhile she ate her breakfast.
"Well, make the most of it, for you'll never get anything more fit toeat or drink in this happy home."
"What DO you mean?"
"Listen to my tale of woe. The chef and his wife have both left."
"Francois? And Marie! Why, whatever for?"
"Your English is a bit damaged, but I'll tell you. You see, AuntAdelaide flew into one of her biggest tantrums, because her shirred eggwas shirred too full, or her waffles didn't waff,--or something,--andshe sent for Francois and gave him such a large piece of her mind thathe picked up his Marie and walked off."
"Have they really GONE?"
"They really have. I've telephoned to the Intelligence Place, and Ican't get a first-class cook down here at all. I shall have to send tothe city for one, but, meantime--what to do! What to do!"
"H'm,--and you've guests for luncheon!"
"Yes, the whole Sayre tribe. The captain just CAN'T keep away from YOU!Patty, do you know you're a real belle? Everybody was crazy about youlast night."
"Fiddlesticks! Just because I had on a green frock and let my hair hangdown."
"Your hair is WONDERFUL. But I didn't come up here to tell you of yourown attractions! I want your able advice on how to have a luncheonparty without a cook."
"Oh, pooh! that's TOO easy! Give me a helper of some sort, and I'llcook your old luncheon. And I'll promise you it will be just grand!"
"Cook! You? I won't let you. What do you take me for? No, you come withme, and we'll go somewhere where cooks grow and BUY one."
"There won't be time, Mona. What time is luncheon to be?"
"Half-past one; and it's about ten now."
"Oceans of time, then; I tell you, I'll see to the kitchen forluncheon. But of course, you must have a cook, for permanent use."
"Well, rather. But I'll get one from New York by to-morrow morning. Andyou know Adele Kenerley's friends are coming to dinner to-night. Whatabout that?"
"Leave all to me. I will arrange. But I want somebody to help me. Howabout Daisy?"
"Daisy's no good at that sort of thing. And I don't like to ask Adele.Say, Patty, let Bill help you; he's a fine cook, I've been on camppicnics with him, and I know. And maybe he wouldn't be GLAD to help youin anything! Ah, there, Patty, you're blushing! I feared as much! Oh,Patty, DO you like him?"
"'Course I like him. He's a jolly chap, and we're good chums."
"But is that all? Patty, tell me; I won't tell."
"There's nothing to tell, Mona. I like Little Billee a whole lot, butI'm not in love with him, if that's what you mean."
"Yes, that's what I mean. I hoped you were."
"Well, I'm not. And I'm not going to be in love with anybody for yearsand years. I'm fancy-free, and I mean to stay so. So don't try to teaseme, for you won't get any fun out of it."
"That's so; you're too straightforward to be teased successfully.Patty, you've been a real lesson to me this summer. I've learned a lotfrom you. I don't mean to gush, but I DO want to tell you how Iappreciate and cherish all the kindness you've shown me."
"Dear old Mona, I'm glad if I've said or done anything to make you feellike that! You're a trump, girl, and I'm glad to have you for a friend.Now, vanish, my lady, and as soon as I can scrabble into a costume,I'll meet you below stairs, and solve all your kitchen problems foryou."
"But, Patty, I CAN'T let you go into the kitchen!"
"You can't keep me out, you mean! I'm delighted to have the chance.Aprons are terribly becoming to me."
"Do you want one of the parlourmaid's aprons?"
"I do not! I want a big, all-enveloping cook's apron."
"Well, I suppose you don't want a man's. I'll find you one of Marie's."
"I don't care whose it is, if it's big. Skip, now!"
Mona vanished, and Patty jumped out of bed, and dressed for her newwork. She chose a pink-sprigged dimity, simply made, with short sleevesand collarless neck. A dainty breakfast cap surmounted her coil ofcurls, donned, it must be confessed, because of its extremebecomingness. Mona provided a large, plain white apron, and going tothe kitchen, Patty considered the situation.
The viands for the luncheon had arrived, but were not in the leastprepared for use. A large basket showed a quantity of live crabs, whichlay quietly enough, but a twitching claw here and there betrayed theiractivity.
"Mercy!" cried Mona, "let's throw these away! You can't do anythingwith these creatures!"
"Nonsense," said Patty, "I'm versed in the ways of crabs. I'll attendto them. What else, Mona?"
"Oh, here are some queer looking things from the butcher's. I don'tknow what they are. Can they be brains?"
"No, they're sweetbreads, and fine ones, too. And here is the romainefor the salad, and lovely squabs to roast. Oh, Mona, I'm just in myelement! I LOVE to do these things; you know I'm a born cook. But Imust have a helper."
"I know; Marie always helped Francois. They were a splendid pair. It'sa pity Aunt Adelaide had to stir them up so,--and all over nothing."
"Well, don't cry over spilt eggs. I'll do up this luncheon, and I'llfix it so I can slip up and dress, and appear at the table as ifnothing had happened. The waitress and the butler can manage theserving process?"
"Oh, yes. I HATE to have you do it, Patty, but I don't know what elseto do. Here, I'll help you."
Patty had already filled a huge kettle with boiling water, and wasabout to put the crabs in it.
"All right, Mona; catch that side of the basket, and slide them in, alltogether. It seems awful to scald them, but the sooner the quicker.Now,--in they go!"
But in they DIDN'T go! One frisky crab shot out a long claw and nearlygrabbed Mona's finger, which so scared her that she dropped her side ofthe flat basket, and the crabs all slid out on the floor instead ofinto the kettle.
With suddenly aroused agility they scuttled in every direction, somewaggling to cover under tables and chairs, and some dancing about inthe middle of the floor.
Hearing Mona's shrieks and Patty's laughter, Daisy came running down.But the sight was too horrifying for her, and she turned and sped backupstairs. Poor Daisy was not so much to be blamed, for having lived allher life in Chicago, she had never chanced to see live crabs before,and the strange creatures were a bit startling.
She flew out on the veranda and caught Big Bill by one sleeve, andRoger by another.
"Come! Come!" she cried. "Patty and Mona are nearly killed! Oh, hurry!You'll be too late!"
"Where, where?" cried Roger, while Farnsworth turned white with thesudden shock of Daisy's words. He thought some dreadful accident hadhappened, and fear for Patty's welfare nearly paralysed him.
"This way! That way!" screamed Daisy, darting toward the kitchenstairway, and then flying back again.
Down the stairs raced the two men, and into the kitchen. There theyfound Patty standing on a side table, armed with a long poker, whileMona danced about on the large table, brandishing a broom in one handand a mop in the other. Patty was in paroxysms of laughter at Mona'santics, but Mona herself was in terror of her life, and yelled like awild Indian.
"Get down! Go 'way!" she cried, as an adventurous crab tried, mostineffectually, to climb the table leg.
Roger sprang on to the table beside Mona. "There, there," he said, "yourest a while, and I'll holler for you. Go 'way! Get down! Go 'way, you!"
His imitation of Mona's frightened voice was so funny Patty began tolaugh afresh, and Farnsworth joined her.
"Get up here on my table, Little Billee," cried Patty. "You'll becaptured and swallowed alive by these monsters!"
Big Bill sat on the corner of Patty's table and looked at her.
"You make a charming little housewife," he said, glancing at the capand apron.
"H
elp me, won't you?" Patty returned, blushing a little, but ignoringhis words. "I'm going to cook the luncheon, and first of all we mustboil these crabs. Can't you corral them and invite them into thatkettle of water? We had them started in the right direction, butsomehow they got away."
"Right-o!" agreed Bill, and placing the toe of his big shoe gently on apassing crab, he picked it up by the hinge of its left hind leg, anddeftly dropped it in the boiling water.
"That's just the right way!" said Patty, nodding approval. "I can pickthem up that way, too, but there are so many sprinkled around thisfloor, I'm afraid they'll pick me up first."
"Yes, they might, Apple Blossom. You sit tight, till I round them allup. Lend a hand, Farrington."
So Roger poked out the unwilling creatures from their lairs, and Billassisted them to their destination, while the two girls looked on.
"Good work!" cried Patty as the last shelly specimen disappearedbeneath the bubbles. "Now, they must boil for twenty minutes. Theydon't mind it NOW."
The girls came down from their tables, and explained the situation.
"Don't worry, Mona," said Farnsworth, in his kind way. "Patty and Iwill cook luncheon, and this afternoon I'll go out and get you a cookif I have to kidnap one."
"All right, Bill," said Mona, laughing. "Come on, Roger, let's leavethese two. You know too many cooks spoil the broth!"
"So they do!" called Bill, gaily, as Mona, after this parting shaft,fled upstairs. "Do I understand, little Apple Blossom," he observed,gently, "that you're really going to cook this elaborate luncheon allyourself?"
"Yes, sir," said Patty, looking very meek and demure.
"CAN you do it?"
"Yes, sir." Patty dropped her eyes, and drew her toe along a crack inthe floor, like a bashful child.
"You little rascal! I believe you can! Well, then, you can be chef andI'll be assistant. I WAS going to arrange it the other way."
"Oh, no, sir! I'll give the orders." And Patty looked as wise anddignified as a small bluebird on a twig.
"You bet you will, my lady! Now, first and foremost, shall I pare thepotatoes?"
"Oh, Billee, there must be a scullery maid or something for that!"
"Don't see any, and don't want any! I'm not afraid of staining mylily-white fingers. You'd better put those sweetbreads in cold water toblanch them, and cut up some bread to dry out a little for the squabstuffing."
"For goodness gracious sake! Do you know it all?" exclaimed Patty,looking at him in amazement.
"Yes, I know everything in all the world. I'm a terrible knower!"
"You are so! How did you learn it all?"
"Born so. Are you going to have that sort of a grape fruit muddle inglasses?"
"Yes; with candied cherries in it. Don't you love it?"
"Yes, if you do. What thou lovest, I will love, and thy discards shallbe mine also."
"Amiable boy! Now, don't talk to me, I have to measure these thingsvery carefully."
"Oh, I say! Let me make the salad dressing. I'm a hummer at it, and Idon't measure a thing."
Patty looked at him coldly.
"If you turn out to be a BETTER cook than I am," she said, "I'll neverspeak to you again!"
"Oh, I'm not! I'm a FEARFUL cook! I spoil everything I touch! DON'T askme to make that dressing! DON'T!"
Patty couldn't help laughing at his foolishness, and the work wentmerrily on.
But picking out the crabs was a tedious task. It was easy enough, andPatty was deft and dainty, but it took a long time, and the sharpshells cut her fingers now and then.
"Let me do it, dear," said Farnsworth, quietly, and he took from herthe fork she was using.
"Oh, thank you!" she said, gratefully. "You ARE a help, Little Billee."
"I'm always ready to help YOU, Patty girl; call on me any time,anywhere; if ever you want me,--I'm right there."
"I think somebody else might have helped us with these crabs, anyway."
"They would, if we asked them. I like it better this way. Alone withthee,--just you and me,--the crabs to free,--is bliss for we!"
"Speak for yourself, John! I don't see any bliss in picking out crabs.I've cut and scratched every single solitary finger I possess!"
"Poor little girl! But, you see, I offer you my hand,--both hands, infact,--there's ten extra fingers at your disposal, if you want them.And all willing and eager to work for you."
"Mr. Farnsworth, how do you suppose I can make croquettes if you talkto me like that? One tablespoonful of flour,--two of butter, threeeggs--"
"Pooh, can't you read a recipe and be proposed to at the same time?"
"Yes, I CAN," Patty flashed back, "but,--I pay attention only to therecipe!"
"'Twas ever thus," Bill sighed.
"What! EVERY time you've proposed?" said Patty, roguishly.
"No, because I've never proposed before. Don't you think I do it wellfor a beginner?"
"Not very."
"Not very! You little scamp, what do you know about it? Have you had awide experience in proposals?"
"I shouldn't tell you if I had. One of flour, two of butter, three--"
"Three blithering wheelbarrows! Apple Blossom, have you any idea how Ilove you?"
"Don't put me out, Bill. One of flour, two of butter, three eggs--"
"Now, isn't she the limit?" mused Bill, apparently addressing thecrabs. "I express my devotion in terms of endearment, and she babbleslike a parrot of flour and butter!"
"If I don't, you'll have no croquettes," and Patty moulded the mixtureinto oval balls, and arranged them in a frying sieve.
As the time grew shorter they worked away in earnest, and soon afterone o'clock everything was ready. The finishing touches and the servingof the hot dishes were left to the butler and waitress, who were nonetoo willing to do anything outside their own restricted sphere, butwhom Patty cajoled by smiles, till they were her abject slaves.
"Now go and tidy yourself up," Patty said to Bill, "and I will too, andsee who can get down to the drawing-room first."
"Huh, I haven't to arrange a lot of furbelows. I'll beat you all topieces."
But he little knew Patty's powers of haste in emergency, and whenfifteen minutes later he descended to the drawing-room, where theguests were already arriving, Patty was there before him.
She was in a soft, frilly white frock, with knots of pale blue ribbonhere and there, the knots holding sprays of tiny pink rosebuds. A blueribbon banded her head, and save for an extra moist curliness in thesoft rings of hair on her temples, no one could have guessed that theserene looking girl had worked hard and steadily for three hours in akitchen.
"I surrender," whispered Bill; "you're the swiftest little piece ofproperty I ever saw!"
"Please address me in less undignified language," said Patty, slowlywaving a feather fan.
Bill bent a trifle lower, and murmured close to her ear, "MademoiselleApple Blossom, you are the sweetest thing in the world."