CHAPTER V
MISS YANKEE DOODLE
"You didn't, really!" exclaimed Lady Hamilton, as Patty gleefullydescribed giving the flowers to Sir Otho Markleham.
"But I did, Kitty, and truly, he _was_ mad enough to pitch me into thatyellow muddy old river. I greatly admire his self-control in not reallydoing it. But what eyes he has! So gray and steely, they cut rightthrough me! And he just said, tragically, 'I have no daughter,' andstalked away. But--and this is the main thing--he kept the flowers!"
"How do you know?"
"I watched him. I fully expected he'd fling them straight over ParliamentHouse, but he didn't. He didn't even throw them on the stone floor of theTerrace, and gr-r-rind them 'neath his iron heel! I can't say that he putthem in his button-hole, for his back was toward me, but I _know_ he keptthem."
"Oh, Patty, you are a silly! You think you've gone far toward healing thefamily feud of the Marklehams. But you haven't. My father gave the wholeepisode no thought at all, unless it was to think of you as animpertinent child."
"Well, it was a wedge," said Patty, doggedly, "and if I ever get anotherchance at him, I'll hammer it in."
"No, don't, Patty dear; you mean well, I know, but you don't knowfather's disposition. If he thought you were an intermediary, he'd bemore stubborn than ever."
"Huh!" said Patty, more expressively than politely; "I'm not going tomake any trouble. Trust your Aunt Patty for that!"
Lady Hamilton laughed, as she always did at Patty's funny Americanphrases, and the subject of Sir Otho was dropped.
"Better not mix yourself up in other people's quarrels," said Mr.Fairfield, when Patty told him about it. "Your motive is a good one, butan Englishman is not apt to brook interference from an outsider,especially an American."
"Oh, pshaw, Fred; Patty won't do any harm," said Nan. "Patty's tact is amatch for any English temper, and if she could bring about areconciliation, I'd be so glad for that sweet Lady Hamilton."
"All right; I give in. When you two are against me, I hold up my hands."
"We're not against you, Daddy," said Patty, smiling fondly at her father."You're on our side, only you don't quite realise it."
"I told you she had tact," laughed Nan, "and she grows cleverer everyday; don't you, Stepdaughter?"
"Yes, Stepmother," replied Patty, gazing at Nan in mock adoration; "sinceI have you for a model, how could I do otherwise?"
"You're a pair of sillies," said Mr. Fairfield, laughing at theirnonsense, "and in a vain endeavour to improve your minds, I think I'llread aloud to you."
"Oh, goody!" cried Patty, for they both loved to hear Mr. Fairfield read."And mayn't I ask Lady Kitty to come in? She'll sit still as a mouse, Iknow."
"Certainly, my child; ask any one you like. If you see any people in thecorridors, bring them back with you. Perhaps the elevator man will come."
"'Deed he won't be asked," said Patty, indignantly. "I just want mysweet, lovely Lady Kitty."
The sweet, lovely lady was pleased to come, and did indeed sit still as amouse, listening to Mr. Fairfield's fine reading.
Then Patty sang one or two of her newest songs, and then Nan declaredthey must all go down to the Grill Room for a Welsh Rabbit.
This plan enchanted Patty, and after a moment's hesitation, Lady Hamiltonagreed. So the evening proved a merry little festivity, and Patty went tobed healthily tired, but healthily happy.
Bob Hartley did not forget his promise to ask Patty to the Garden Partyat Regent's Park, and Patty gladly accepted the invitation.
"The only thing that bothers me," she said to Nan, "is that the Hartleysdon't seem to have much money, and at a Charity Garden Party there are somany ways to spend, that I fear I'll be a burden to them. It makes meawfully uncomfortable, and yet I can't offer to pay for myself. And withthose young men present, I can't offer to pay for the whole party."
"No," agreed Nan. "But you might do something yourself. Invite them allto be your guests at some especial side-show, or booth. There are oftensuch opportunities."
"I hope there will be. The Hartleys are a funny kind of poor. They have agood apartment in London, and their country place is fine. They have oldservants, and keep a carriage, and all that, and yet they never seem tohave spending money."
"English people are often like that. The keeping up of an establishmentcomes first with them, and little personal comforts afterward."
"That isn't my idea of economy," said Patty, decidedly; "I'd rather spendall I want on flowers and books and pretty hats, and go without a butlerand a footman and even a team of horses."
"You can't judge, because you've always had whatever you want."
"Of course; because father is indulgent and has plenty of money. But ifhe hadn't, I'd be just as happy, living in a plainer way."
"Yes, Patty, I believe you would," and Nan looked at the girlaffectionately. "Well, do your best to help the Hartleys financially thisafternoon without offending them."
"Ah, that's just the trouble. They're so dreadfully proud they won'taccept so much as a glass of lemonade from one who is their guest."
"Try it, and see. It may not be so difficult as you think."
So Patty went gaily off to the Garden Party. Mrs. Hartley called for herin her carriage. Mabel was with her, and they were to meet the boys atthe park.
It was a beautiful drive, in the open victoria, along the busy streets ofthe city, and then on out to the green slopes of Regent's Park.
The portion of the park devoted to the Garden Party was gay with boothsand flower-stands, tents and arbours, and catch-penny shows of all sorts.
Sinclair and Robert were awaiting them, and also another youngEnglishman, whom Bob introduced as Mr. Lawton. The latter was a typicalBriton, with a slight drawl, and a queer-looking monocle in his righteye.
"Awfully jolly to meet you," he exclaimed, as he shook Mrs. Hartley'shand, and bowed formally to the girls.
He fascinated Patty, he was so exactly like the young Englishmen picturedin _Punch_, and she waited to hear him say "Bah Jove!" But he didn't sayit, he contented himself with "My word!" by way of expletive, and thoughit didn't seem to mean anything, it was apparently useful to him.
"You must jolly well let me be your guide," he declared; "Mrs. Hartleyand I will lead and the rest of you will follow wherever we go. First, wemake the grand tour."
This meant joining a long procession that were sauntering along a boardwalk, on either side of which were settees filled with people.
Patty, with Sinclair, followed the leaders, and Mabel and Bob followedthem.
But their progress was slow, for continually some of the party recognisedfriends seated alongside, and stopped to speak to them. Patty wasintroduced so often that she became bewildered, and soon stopped tryingto remember who was who.
"You're getting jolly well fagged," said Mr. Lawton, suddenly noticingher expression. "Now, we'll stop this merry-go-round and adjourn to thetea tent."
This they did, and were soon comfortably seated round a tea table.
"Great show, isn't it?" said Bob, enthusiastically. "And you haven't seenhalf of it yet. There's fortune-telling, and Punch and Judy, and thehat-trimming contest, and I don't know what beside."
Sinclair adroitly paid the tea bill, before Mr. Lawton could do so,though the latter tried.
"Never mind, old fellow," he cried, "I'll get even with you! I herebyinvite you all to supper at six o'clock."
"We're pleased to accept," said Patty, promptly; "and I hereby invite youall to the play, or whatever it is, given by the Stagefright Club. Ithink that's such a lovely name for a dramatic club. Can't we go atonce?"
Mrs. Hartley looked a little disturbed at Patty's invitation, but did notdemur, and tea being over, they all went toward the tent where the playwas to be given. Patty managed to walk ahead with Mr. Lawton, this time,and when they reached the big tent, she offered him her little goldchain-purse, saying, quietly, "Won't you see to the tickets, please?"
"Trust me," said Mr. Lawton, an
d taking Patty's purse, he bought seatsfor them all. It was gracefully done, and they all went in in gay spiritsand without a trace of embarrassment, thanks to Patty's tact.
The play was very funny. Though only a trifling farce, it was written byprofessionals, for the benefit of the charity, and was played by theclever amateurs who had chosen such an odd name for their club. Thesituations in the play were screamingly funny, and Patty shook withlaughter as she listened to the jokes and the merry by-play.
"Hist, she comes!" declared a weird figure in a sepulchral voice, as hewaited in the middle of the stage.
"Hist, she comes!"
But nobody came.
"That's her cue," he muttered; "what can be the matter? I say," hecleared his throat and spoke louder: "Hist, she comes!" As the expectedentrance was still delayed, he only said: "Well, she ought to be hissedwhen she does come!" And calmly sat down to wait for her, amid theapplause of the audience.
The short playlet soon came to an end, and still shaking with laughter,the party went out again into the beautiful atmosphere which is found ona spring day in Regent's Park.
"Now, my children," said Mrs. Hartley, "I simply cannot walk about anymore. I'm going to sit in one of those chairs yonder, for I see somepeople I know over there. You can amuse yourselves with Punch and Judy,or Ring Toss or whatever you like, and come back to me in an hour or so.Sinclair, look after the little ones, won't you?"
It was a great joke that Sinclair, the oldest Hartley boy, should lookafter the others. He had reached the age of twenty, and was much moregrave and dignified than Bob and Grace. Mrs. Hartley often declared shecould even trust him to match samples for her, so careful was he. So theyoung people wandered away and spent a delightful hour looking at thebeautiful or grotesque sights that adorned the fair.
Patty could not do much financially, but under cover of giving tocharity, she bought pretty souvenirs for Mabel and Mrs. Hartley, andlaughingly invited the group to be photographed by a Camera Fiend.
This personage was clothed in red, and with black horns and Mephistopheleancountenance was made to look as much like a fiend as possible. Withoutlandish hoots and yells, he posed the group and took several snapshots,which they were to call for later.
As they concluded it was nearly time to drift back to Mrs. Hartley, Pattynoticed a gentleman who stood at a little distance, looking at herintently.
"Who's your friend, Patty?" asked Mabel. "Do you know him?"
"Yes," said Patty, slowly. "He's Sir Otho Markleham."
"So he is," said Bob. "I've seen him often, but I don't know himpersonally."
Sir Otho, still looking at Patty, took a few steps toward her, and thenpaused irresolutely.
"Please excuse me," said Patty to the others, "I think I'll go speak tohim for a minute."
"Do," said Mr. Lawton; "we'll wait for you right here."
Following an impulse, Patty walked directly toward Sir Otho, who lookedas if he would like to run away.
"How do you do?" she said, pleasantly, as they met.
"Quite well," he said, but there was no responsiveness in his manner. "Doyou wish to speak to me?"
Now after he had first advanced toward Patty, this was a strangequestion, but she bravely took up the burden of conversation.
"Well, yes," she said, smiling at him prettily; "I want to ask you howyou are enjoying the Garden Party."
"I never enjoy anything," he returned, but his face was sad now, ratherthan angry.
"Oh, what a pity!" said Patty, involuntarily, "and you have such powersof enjoyment, too."
"How do you know that, Miss Yankee Doodle?"
Patty didn't altogether like the name, or rather the tone in which it wassaid, but she was determined not to get piqued. So she said:
"Oh, because you're such a big, healthy, hearty-looking man; you ought tolaugh most of the time."
"Ought I, indeed? But you see I never have anything to laugh at."
At this Patty laughed outright.
"Why, the world is full of things to laugh at,--and you're not blind."
"No, but I don't feel like laughing."
"Don't you ever even feel like smiling?"
"Not often."
"Didn't you feel like smiling just a little bit of a happy smile, when Igave you those flowers the other day? Those flowers--from Kitty."
Sir Otho's face grew dark.
"How dare you mention her name to me?" he cried. "You are a saucy minx!Go away!"
"I won't be sent away like that," declared Patty, looking haughty now."I'm no child to be scolded for nothing. How dare you speak to me likethat? What do you think I am?"
Sir Otho turned red with rage. He choked and stammered and looked like acholeric old gentleman, as indeed he was.
"I think you're an impertinent Yankee. What do you think I am?"
Patty looked him squarely in the eye. Her chance had come, and she didnot flinch.
"I think," she said, looking steadfastly at him, "I think you're anobstinate, stubborn, selfish, cruel old--Pighead!"
She confessed, afterward, that at that moment she fully expected theirate old man to strike her. But he did not. Instead, he looked at herjust a moment in amazement, and then burst into peals of laughter.
Surprised beyond measure, but unable to resist the infectious merriment,Patty laughed too.
"Oh, Miss Yankee Doodle," said Sir Otho, wiping his eyes, "you are mostastonishing. The strange part is, you are quite right. I _am_ a stubbornold Pighead, but how did you know it? Do I wear my heart on my sleeve tothat extent?"
"Have you a heart?" asked Patty, so gravely that Sir Otho again roaredwith laughter.
"And yet," said Patty, thoughtfully, seeing that frankness pleased theold man, "and yet, no one with such a sense of humour as you seem to havecan be wholly bad."
"Oh, thank you! So I'm not wholly bad? Well, that's a comfort; I alwaysthought I was. But your friends are looking this way. I think they wantyou to rejoin them."
"In a moment," said Patty. "Sir Otho,--won't you--please--send a flowerback to my friend, Lady Hamilton?"
"I would do much for any friend of yours," said the strange old man, verygravely, and taking a few steps to a nearby flower stand, he bought abunch of sweet peas, and said, carelessly, "Give her those, if you like."
Then formally escorting Patty back to her friends, he raised his hat, andwalked quickly away.