Oh brothers. I didn’t want to do this again, another break-n-take. I had no money, and another tuition bill wrapped itself around my neck and was choking me to death.
I wandered around the downtown on a cloudy afternoon and searched for the next opportunity. Then I spotted a quaint little college bar and restaurant the students called the Library. I walked along the side street to get a closer look. I knew the place served a medley of traditional American and French foods because I took Phaedra there for lunch yesterday. We marveled over the delectable entrees like beef tartar, escargot, liver pate, and French onion soup, and the traditional array of American food such as the juicy-dripping hamburgers and crispy French fries.
I explored the enclosed catwalk that went across street and connected the second floors of the Library to the building across the street. I smiled as I walked up the steps to the second floor and stared at a massive mosaic window. My opportunity lied on the other side of that window. Brothers, I knew this job would be easy, such as stealing coins from an ashtray of a rusty old car abandoned at the junkyard.
I returned to the dorm room. I feigned a stomachache, so Drew would stop pestering me about Daisy’s approaching party, which was quite unfortunate because Daisy threw some of the craziest parties on campus. But brothers, if I were lucky, Drew would be passed out on Daisy’s dirty, sticky carpet covered with empty beer cans and discarded food containers by the time I returned to the dorm room.
I snuck out from the dorm room around midnight wearing clothes I bought at a second-hand store. I walked to downtown while drunk college students staggered along the sidewalks here and there, polluting the air with their drunken songs and past female conquests.
I approached the enclosed catwalk from the other side of the street and walked up to the second floor and crossed the catwalk to the other side. Then I stopped at the mosaic window – my secret entrance to the Library.
I peered through one of the translucent panes and saw dim lights here and there that illuminated the aisles around the dark tables and bar. All the bar stools were stacked on the bar while all the chairs were pushed under the tables.
Slipping on my gloves, and popping out a small windowpane from the mosaic, I flipped the sash lock open. The windowpane popped out and fell onto the cushioned seat of a large U-shaped booth. I opened the window and crawled inside until my hands hit the booth’s seat cushion while my legs stuck up through the window. Then I slid in. I rose and closed the window but left it unlocked.
I tiptoed to the door of the manager’s office next to far corner of the bar.
I gripped the doorknob in my hand and turned it, and the door swung open.
I tipped toed inside and closed the door behind me. I pulled out my phone and switched on the flashlight.
I went to the antique wooden desk and opened each drawer and shined the light as I sorted through every paper and document. Humpenscrump! After slamming the last drawer closed, I mumbled, “Shit, where’s the money?”
I looked up and noticed two metal filing cabinets standing five feet tall. I approached the cabinets, and I pulled out one drawer and another and then another. Just more files and documents. Tetheradick, such is? Out of frustration, I turned and bumped into an end table covered with a thick tablecloth. Thump!
I rubbed my knee, “What the fuck?” I kicked the end table, but it didn’t bulge. I knocked on the tabletop several times – knock, knock, knock, and a metallic ring echoed through the air.
I lifted a corner of the tablecloth and revealed an ancient safe that stood at least three feet high and two feet thick, and, it had a foot-long lever and a large black dial with faded numbers and tick marks. Brothers, it was a beaut.
I released the tablecloth and pushed against the safe. It stood firm and resisted my struggles. But it wouldn’t matter anyway. The safe had to weigh a thousand pounds – no way would I be dragging this thing home.
I went around the room and straightened things, so the restaurant owner would not suspect anything when he came the next day to open the restaurant. I left the office and returned to the mosaic window.
I couldn’t see them, but their drunken arguments echoed up the catwalk and into the bar. They walked along the street below. I waited until their arguing vanished into the murky night.
I found the windowpane, where it snapped into two pieces. I carefully slipped them into my jacket pocket.
I opened the window, crawled out head first, and dropped to the floor below. Then I closed the window and secured the latch on the sash.
I walked to the other end of the catwalk and hopped down the stairs. Lucky for me, the 24-7 convenience store was only three blocks away.
I picked the most expensive scotch tape and placed it on the counter in front of the cashier.
The cashier didn’t even look at me. He grabbed the tape rang up the sale, “That’ll be three-fifty.”
I pulled out four bones and passed it to him.
You think he would at least look at me. Who in the fuck buys scotch tape one o’clock in the morning?
I returned to the Library and went up the catwalk. I taped the two pieces of the windowpane together and then tape the windowpane back into its proper place.
I stood several feet away and examined my work. Brothers, you would be impressed with my job. Someone would have to stand next to the window before he or she would spot my master rigging.
I returned to the dorm room. And the good news is Drew didn’t even stir as I came in. I undressed and crawled between the sheets in my bed.