Just not right now.
Rick didn’t return to the car as quickly as Katie had expected. And she didn’t like being alone as much as she had thought she would.
Leaving the bouquet in the car, Katie went into the Dove’s Nest. She found Rick in the kitchen, lying on his back on the floor with his head under the sink.
“Tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”
“Katie, look at this, will you? Carlos said he thinks the ants are getting in through the wall here where the plumbing connects.”
Katie gingerly got on her hands and knees and twisted her head to look under the sink. She didn’t see any ants. “Rick, it’s time for you to call a professional. Seriously.”
“An exterminator?”
“Either an exterminator to kill your imaginary ants or a professional therapist to convince you the ants don’t exist.”
“They exist. You just haven’t been here when they’ve come en masse.”
“If you say so. And by the way, you’re still wearing a rented tux. Just in case you forgot.”
He got up and offered Katie a hand.
She stood. “What’s next? Were you planning on heading out to the dumpster to see if you could find any rodents?”
Rick lowered his chin. “Rodents, huh?”
“Yeah, because, you know, it seems you’re dressed for a little dumpster diving.”
“If I’m going in, you’re going in with me.”
“Oh, yeah? I’d like to see that happen.”
In one swift, quarterback motion, Rick grabbed Katie around the knees and hoisted her over his shoulder as if she were a sack of potatoes dressed up in bridesmaid blue.
“Rick!”
He crossed the kitchen in four strides and said, “Duck,” as he exited and marched to the dumpster.
Katie laughed and pounded her fists on his back. Before she could spout a threat, two girls from Rancho Corona called out to her. They were parked next to the dumpster shed.
Rick put Katie down quickly, as if suddenly realizing how unprofessional he was being at his place of business. Katie brushed back her hair; her face felt rosy. The two girls got out of their car and greeted Katie, but their eyes were on Rick.
“Hey, Carley, Tiffanie,” Katie said nonchalantly. “Nice night, don’t you think?”
Both the girls were wearing pink sweatshirts. Carley’s blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and Tiffanie wore her blond hair in two loose braids.
“We came for study-break food. What are you guys doing?” Car-ley asked.
“We’re taking a study break too.” Katie gave Rick a sideways grin. “One of us was studying ants, and one of us was about to collect data for a special report on rodents.”
“Ants?” Tiffanie asked.
“Rodents?” Carley echoed. “Dressed like that?”
“We were in a wedding earlier today,” Rick explained.
“You’re Rick, aren’t you?” Carley asked. “You’re the manager here, right?”
He nodded, sporting a funny look that seemed to be a mixture of embarrassment over being caught in the frivolity and pride for being identified as the manager. Katie realized it probably wasn’t good that she was mentioning ants and rodents at Rick’s restaurant.
“We love your San Felipe pizza,” Carley said.
“Yeah, that’s our favorite,” Tiffanie agreed.
Carley listed her favorite espresso beverages from the Dove’s Nest menu, with Tiffanie adding her agreement to everything.
Rick kept grinning, which made Katie want to slug him and say, “Don’t overdose on all the flattery, Doyle.” She was familiar with his friendly manager routine and would be the first to say that Rick excelled at public relations.
“I have to go back inside and get my keys,” Rick said. “When you two order, ask for Andrea. I’ll make sure she comps you a couple of espressos as my contribution to your study break.”
“Wow, thanks!”
Rick sprinted back to the kitchen door, and Carley said to Katie, “Your boyfriend is the nicest guy ever.”
“My boyfriend,” Katie repeated, liking the way that sounded.
In the awkward silence that followed, Carley added, “He is your boyfriend, isn’t he?”
Before Katie could come up with some sort of answer, Rick returned and said, “All set. Andrea is expecting you. Ready, Katie?”
“Yup, I’m ready.”
Katie could feel the girls’ gaze as they watched her leave with Rick. She would have loved it if Rick had put his arm around her or held her hand. Any sort of affectionate gesture to show Carley and Tiffanie that Katie and Rick were together. But Rick kept his hands to himself. He and Katie walked side by side, behaving like respectable, overdressed employees of the Dove’s Nest.
As they drove up the hill to Rancho Corona, Katie twirled Christy’s bouquet in her lap. She drew in the fragrant scent of the wilting gardenias and smiled, thinking of Christy and Todd. They were on the airplane now, winging their way to Maui.
“Why are you grinning?” Rick asked.
“No reason.”
Rick gave her a skeptical look.
“Okay, I can’t lie. I was thinking about Todd and Christy and the wedding and, you know, a bunch of mushy stuff.”
“Mushy stuff, huh?”
“Yeah, mushy stuff.”
“Do you want to know what I was thinking?” That was a rare question from Rick.
“Of course. What were you thinking?”
“I’m pretty happy with where our relationship is. I think things are going well.”
Katie waited for him to add something a little more promising. He didn’t.
So Katie added her own thoughts. “I think we’ve been in the slow lane for a really long time.”
Rick glanced at her, looking confused. “This road only has one lane going up the hill.”
“I meant the slow lane of the freeway of our relationship.”
Rick still looked confused.
Katie rolled her eyes. “Rick, you and I have been taking things slow in our relationship for a long time. I mean, s-l-o-w. Not that I have any major complaints. I just thought maybe you were going to say you’re ready to put on your turn signal.”
“And the turn signal would mean we’re ready to move into the fast lane?”
“Right. Or at least thinking about making a lane change. And it doesn’t have to be a change into the fast lane. It could be to the middle lane. Or if we’re on a six-lane relationship highway, then it’s an even smaller lane change. It’s just that we’ve been in this slow lane so long that we’re wearing a rut in the road.”
Rick kept driving. Same lane. Same speed. No comments.
Katie looked out the window and wished she hadn’t said anything. At least not the whole lane-change, rut analogy. She didn’t like the way her thoughts had tumbled out. The truth was, she didn’t want to be the one to push things forward. She wasn’t even sure she was ready to make a lane change in their relationship with all the other decisions she had in front of her. But today felt like a day for declarations of love — or at least affection. Rick’s things-are-going-well statement was just blah.
“Here’s the thing.” She turned to face Rick. “When you went back for your keys, Carley asked if you were my boyfriend.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I didn’t say you were, but I didn’t say you weren’t. I wanted to say, ‘Yes, Rick Doyle is my boyfriend. Isn’t he great?’ But I can’t say that. I mean, I can say you’re great. But ever since we decided not to go with the boyfriend-girlfriend labels until we were both ready for that next level of commitment — ”
“Are you?” Rick asked.
“Am I what?”
“Ready for the next level of commitment?”
Katie didn’t have an answer. That surprised her.
Rick rephrased his question as if she hadn’t understood what he was asking. “Are you thinking we’re ready to make a lane change? Ar
e we ready to be boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Katie’s immediate, off-the-top answer was “I don’t know.”
The spontaneous response surprised her again. She believed it was honest, so she stuck with it even though she knew that if he had asked her the same question earlier that day she probably would have squealed, “Finally! Yes!”
Katie tossed the hot potato back to Rick. “Are you?”
“Am I ready to officially be boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Yes. Are you?”
Rick paused. “Almost. See, I don’t think ruts are a bad thing. Ruts are routine, and routines are good. They’re steady and predictable. Routines get you where you’re going. We need to keep praying about what’s next for us. We have the whole summer ahead of us, and next fall you’ll be — ”
“A resident assistant. Possibly. Or maybe a college dropout. I’m wavering between the two.”
Rick laughed.
“Don’t laugh. I’m serious. About the RA position, mainly.”
Katie filled Rick in on her conversation with Julia and concluded with, “I haven’t decided, but I’m seriously thinking about it. And I’ll pray about it. And you’re right about us praying about what’s next for us. I need to pray about that some more.”
The car pounded over the highway with neither of them speaking for a few minutes. When Rick spoke, his tone was low. “This is a pretty big decision, you know.”
“Which decision? The boyfriend-girlfriend one or the resident assistant one?”
“Both.”
“I know. Add those to the shopping cart with my major dilemma, and I have three big-ticket items going through the life scanner at the moment.”
Rick pulled into the parking lot of Katie’s dorm and turned off the car’s engine. He leaned against the door with his arm over the steering wheel. “If you take the RA position, it would mean you would work fewer hours at the Dove’s Nest. That could be a problem since you’ve been saying you need to make more money next year.”
“I know. But that’s the good thing about the job. If I take the RA position, my room and board will be covered. Room and board, Rick! I can’t make enough working part-time at the Dove’s Nest to cover room and board. And I can’t work more hours than I already do because, even with summer school, my advisor said I’ll probably have to take eighteen units in the fall regardless of my major. Once I decide on a major, that is.”
Katie was feeling exhausted. She didn’t want to end this glorious day examining all the unfinished decisions in her life. It was depressing.
Rick’s jaw shifted forward and back as he chewed on Katie’s words.
“You realize you and I would see each other a lot less,” he said.
“Not necessarily,” Katie countered.
Obviously Mr. I-Like-Being-in-a-Rut didn’t like Katie’s potential leap out of their established routine. Maybe it was a good thing their relationship was still going slowly. If it changed radically, it could be their breaking point.
As soon as Katie realized the potential outcome of her decision, her throat tightened. She didn’t want to break up. She would take the slow lane over no lane any day.
Sticking with routine, Rick returned Katie to her dorm, gave her a hug, and said he’d call her later.
She sighed. “Later” was always one of Todd’s favorite words. Katie realized it was also the word that was keeping her relationship with Rick from bursting into a big, mushy romance. “Later” would never be her favorite word.
5
Katie opened her dorm room door and stood there in her bridesmaid dress. She didn’t walk right in. She hated, hated, hated entering her room alone that night. She hated that Christy was married and gone and would never again be her roommate. For the past nine months Christy had been only a few feet away every night, and they had the luxury of talking for hours in the cozy comfort of their beds. That era was over forever.
Katie tossed the bouquet onto Christy’s vacant bed and let the door slam behind her. She hated being alone. She hated being stuck in the slow lane. She hated that she had so many unresolved decisions in her life.
Right then and there, Katie decided she was going to take the RA job. She wanted the position. She liked the thought of partnering with Nicole, the other RA who would be on her floor. She liked the possibility of reporting to Julia. Plus, the wages would meet her financial needs for room and board.
There, one problem solved.
Just declaring the decision to herself felt like a huge relief.
Leaving her bridesmaid dress draped over the back of her desk chair, Katie put on her fuzzy yellow robe and headed down the hall for a shower.
As soon as the warm water pelted her back, she wondered if she had decided too quickly. Is this what you want, God? Because if you don’t want me to take this job, then close the doors. I’ ll do something else for the money. Whatever you work out is fine with me. This just makes sense, and I love the thought of being around a lot of new people next year now that Christy is gone and Sierra will be in Brazil. That is, if you want me to keep going to school here. I need to figure out a major. What do you want me to do with my life? With my relationship with Rick? I’m yours. I’m ready for you to roll out your plan for this next stretch of my life. I really will try to be patient, but don’t forget about me, okay? I know you won’t.
Katie turned off the water and sighed in the quieted shower stall. She wrapped her hair in a towel, put on her robe, and padded down the hall to her room. Entering the space that was now void of any evidence of Christy except for the wedding bouquet, Katie closed her door and cried. She didn’t cry often, but when she did, the cascade could be significant. One of the good things about Katie and her all-out-front emotions was that once a moment was over, it was over. Rather than saving up her feelings and luxuriating in a bad mood for an extended period, she considered herself to be more of a pay-as-you- go sort of emotionalist.
As soon as her tears were spent, she was done. Katie crawled into bed and fell asleep with her wet hair still wrapped in a towel.
Her cell phone woke her the next morning. She could tell by the customized tune it played that Rick was calling.
“Hi.” Katie sat up and tried to focus her eyes to see the time on the alarm clock on her desk. The towel fell off her head and toppled to the floor.
“I wanted to see if you were doing anything today.”
“I don’t know. I think I was planning to go to church later. It’s pretty early, Rick.”
“I know. My parents called and asked me to come down to their house today. I wondered if you wanted to go with me.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Around seven-thirty.”
“That’s in, like, twenty minutes.”
“I guess it is. Listen, I know you’re not a morning person, but I wanted to get down there in time to go to church with them. I need to clean the rest of my stuff out of the garage this afternoon and bring it back to my apartment. Their house goes on the market Monday.”
Katie threw back the covers and tried to jumpstart her brain. “Is their new house done yet?”
“No, but they think it will be by the time they sell the Escondido house.”
Rick’s parents lived a little more than an hour away from Rancho Corona. They had built the Dove’s Nest and the adjoining Ark Chris tian Bookstore almost a year ago in an area where the rents for business property were much less than near their home in Escondido. Business had been so good they decided to build a new house near the café and bookstore.
Katie walked past the mirror and let out an involuntary, “Whoa!”
“What’s wrong?” Rick asked.
“Nothing.” Katie didn’t want to explain what she looked like at the moment. Her hair had “set” itself during the night, and now the right side stuck straight up to form an entertaining curl at the top like a woodpecker.
Intrigued, Katie leaned to the right. The wave remained in place. She tilted to the left, and the cr
imson wave crested and fell. Katie cracked up.
“What’s going on?” Rick asked.
“It’s my hair.” Katie be-bopped her head back and forth in front of the mirror and watched her hair perform all kinds of tricks. She laughed at the antics of her hilarious hairdo.
“What’s so funny?”
“You’re not going to believe this. Actually, this is too good to miss. I’m going to take a picture and send it to you. Hang up and call me back when it comes through.”
Katie hung up. She held out her phone, dipped her chin to get the full effect of her wild hair, and snapped a picture. She cracked up again when she saw the shot and sent it to Rick.
A moment later her phone played Rick’s song.
“What in the world did you do to your hair?”
“I went to bed with it wet. Is that just the most hilarious thing you’ve ever seen?”
“Katie, you are the most . . .”
“What? Go ahead. Say it. The most whacked-out woman you’ve ever met?”
Rick neither agreed nor disagreed. “So what did you decide? Do you and your whacked-out hair want to go to Escondido with me in ten minutes?”
“I think my super-sonic hair and I should stay here. I have a final on Monday, a seven-page paper due Tuesday, and two more finals Wednesday. If I go with you, I know I won’t get any studying done.” Katie returned to bed and pulled up the covers.
“Okay. I understand.”
Katie thought she detected disappointment in his voice. That was good. She liked that at this moment she wasn’t officially Rick’s girlfriend. If they had decided to make a lane change last night, she had the feeling she would have gone with him because it would have seemed like something an official girlfriend would do.
“I’ll call you later tonight,” Rick said. “Maybe you’ll be ready for a study break.”
“Sounds good. Have a great time at your parents’. Oh, and if you do come by later tonight, bring food.” Katie flopped back in bed and stared at the ceiling. Within two minutes she fell asleep and didn’t wake up until noon.