Katie hadn’t seen this wall before, but then she never had walked all the way to the end of the hall. The design was well done and gave the impression of a large picture frame with the outline done in black, rectangular, corrugated cardboard. At the top of the wall was a hand-painted sign that read “The Kissing Wall.”
Katie laughed to herself. Not exactly the same wall as the one Nehe-miah walked around. I don’t imagine Nehemiah discovered a kissing wall on his tour of inspection!
Inside the frame were dozens of pictures of people kissing. Most of the pictures appeared to have been cut from magazines or printed off the Internet. Some of the pictures were photos. Scattered among the photos were various verses from the Bible on kissing.
“Love and faithfulness meet together; righ teousness and peace kiss each other.” Psalm 85:10
“ ‘May God give each of you a new home and a new husband!’ She kissed them and they cried openly.” Ruth 1:9
“Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.” Genesis 29:11
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” Proverbs 24:26
Katie recognized a few of the girls in the photos and knew they lived on this floor. One photo showed Sierra with her wild mane scooped up on top of her head in a humorous fountain of cascading, untamed blond curls. One of Sierra’s little nephews was kissing her on the cheek while Sierra was trying to stifle a yawn. It was a great candid shot.
All of the pictures on The Kissing Wall were sweet, tender, appropriate, and representative of everything that was innocent and beautiful about a kiss.
Katie felt like crying.
Less than an hour ago, Rick was inches away from her, but he hadn’t responded to her invitation to kiss her. Something primal, womanly, and sad inside Katie had been awakened. She longed to be loved.
Pressing her unkissed lips together, Katie read more of the quotations.
“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth — for your love is more delightful than wine.” Song of Solomon 1:2
“You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet.” Luke 7:45
“Greet one another with a holy kiss.” Romans 16:16
That was it. Kate couldn’t take another image or verse on kisses — holy or otherwise. She felt as if she were torturing herself standing there and taking it all in.
Striding back toward Sierra’s room, Katie was ready for a heart-to-heart talk with a girlfriend. Years ago she and Sierra had commiserated while on a missions trip to England. Their angst then had been that neither of them had a guy pursuing her the way Tracy and Christy did. The irony to Katie was how little had changed. Her feelings of longing and desire to belong were stronger than ever.
When does a heart finally feel at home and content? When are these unending passions fulfilled? In marriage?
The person Katie really wanted to talk with was Christy. Or should she say Mrs. Todd Spencer? Christy would have a whole different take on this discussion once she returned from her honeymoon, and Katie would be eager to hear it.
With a string of taps on Sierra’s door, Katie waited for the usual “Enter at your own risk” invitation to come from Sierra on the other side.
However, no voice responded. She knocked again. No answer. Sierra and Vicki evidently had joined the ranks of other Rancho Corona study postponers who, like Katie, were out roaming the campus instead of sticking close to their rooms.
You might as well go study, Weldon. You are too emotional right now to ponder any of your passions. Get on with what you need to finish tonight. This is finals week, remember?
Katie trekked across campus. With each step she thought of Julia’s acknowledgment that sometimes following Christ could seem random.
“You’re here, aren’t you?” she whispered, as if Christ were physically walking her back to her dorm. “Yeah, you are. I know you are.” She kept walking, aware that there never is a time when the Lord isn’t close to his children.
“Okay,” Katie breathed in a resolved sort of prayer that encompassed everything unsettled in her life. “Lead on. I’m in.”
7
Katie’s exam the next day went better than she had expected. She left class a little before noon. Her plan was to skip lunch and zip over to the Dove’s Nest before her 3 o’clock meeting with Julia and Craig. She wanted to tell Rick face-to-face that she had decided to take the position.
For some reason, though, she lollygagged around campus, talking to people and checking her mailbox and then stopping to talk with more people. Time ran out, and she didn’t end up going down the hill to the Dove’s Nest. She knew if she wanted to ponder the meaning behind her actions she could come up with a pretty good analysis of why she was avoiding talking to Rick about the RA job. But she didn’t want to know.
If she was miffed about not yet being his official girlfriend or anything else related to the lowly feelings she had struggled with when she stood before The Kissing Wall, Katie didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to think about those things when she met with Craig and Julia.
At 2:55 Katie entered Crown Hall and headed for the resident directors’ office on the third floor. Julia and Craig were already there.
Katie took a seat on the couch. “I should have mentioned this before, but I have to work this afternoon. I don’t know how long this meeting is supposed to go, but if I could leave by 3:30, that would be great.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Craig said. “Do you work on campus?”
“No, I work in town at the Dove’s Nest Café. Which brings me to another question I should have asked earlier. Will I be able to work part-time at the Dove’s Nest or is the RA position full-time?”
“It’s full-time and then some,” Craig said. “We’ve had a few RAs over the years try to put in hours here and there at various jobs, but it never has worked out for them. The hours you need to be on duty in the dorm vary each week, and that makes it hard to mix in a work schedule from another job.”
Katie nodded. Now she knew her conversation with Rick later this afternoon would be even more difficult. She had been thinking she could promise him that she still would work a few hours here and there so things wouldn’t be radically changed in their relationship. But that wouldn’t be the case.
“I’m going to go ahead and start our official interview time now with prayer,” Craig said. “Then I have a question for you.”
Katie had a hard time paying attention during Craig’s prayer because she was too involved thinking about what his question was. As soon as he said “amen,” Katie looked up.
“We ask every applicant this question. Even though we pursued you instead of the other way around, Julia and I thought it would be good to hear your answer.”
“Okay.”
“Why do you want to be an RA?” Craig asked.
Katie’s immediate answer was, “I get my room and board covered.” To her chagrin and surprise, her answer was spoken aloud rather than in her head. She pressed her hand to her mouth and said, “Did I just say that aloud?”
Julia nodded, and both she and Craig grinned.
“An honest answer,” Craig said. “You don’t know how refreshing that is.”
“There is another reason,” Katie said quickly. “I like people. I thought about applying for RA when I first came to Rancho, and my main reason is the same now as it was then. I love being with people.”
Julia smiled as if Katie had said the right thing.
“I also like the idea that I could make dorm life fun and maybe a little easier for some freshmen women. I feel happy when I think about that.”
“Good.” Craig seemed satisfied with her answer because he dove into a brief overview of what the position would entail. Twenty minutes later, he handed her a binder labeled “RA Manual.” Everything suddenly was official.
“Do you have any questions?” Craig asked. “I realize this is a lot of information all at once.”
“I don’t think so.
Your numbers are in here if I need to call, right?”
“Yes, and why don’t you leave your cell number with us too?” Julia said.
Katie was ready to go when she stopped at the door. “I do have one small request to add.”
“Sure,” Craig said. “What is it?”
“I haven’t told anyone about my decision. Could you wait until tomorrow before saying anything? I need to tell a few people before they hear it through the grapevine.”
“Totally understandable. How about if we don’t say anything until Thursday? The next meeting will be here at 7 o’clock Thursday evening. We’ll announce your position so everyone will hear at the same time.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Katie knew she was scheduled to work at the Dove’s Nest on Thursday from 3:00 to 9:00, but all that was about to change. She could ask to get off early. Then she realized she would be giving Rick her notice; she would be quitting. The thought launched her into a new level of funk.
Change is awful. I really don’t like this. Maybe Rick had the right idea about ruts being our friends.
Katie walked a little faster to her car, knowing the sooner she had this conversation over with the better.
The thickening clouds seemed to shrink the landscape as Katie left Rancho Corona campus and drove a little too fast down the hill. The low-lying marine layer of chilling dampness usually hovered along the coast during the “June-gloom” days of late spring. Inland, where Katie was from, the warmer air from the southern California desert generally pressed the clouds back out to sea. Today the ocean forces were prevailing against the desert winds. With the dulling skies a padded hush came over the afternoon.
Katie wondered which of the prevailing forces of her life were going to take control once she stepped into work and told Rick about her decision. She tapped her thumbs on the steering wheel of her VW Thing, which she affectionately called “Baby Hummer.” Not that her low-slung, cute VW bore much resemblance to the hulking SUVs sold by General Motors. No, Katie called her car Baby Hummer because, despite its age, it kept humming right along down the road. Katie loved having a one-of-a-kind car. She also loved the ridiculously low price she’d paid for Baby Hummer. Today, though, she was reminded that Baby was best suited for sunny days. As the damp breeze came through a dozen not-so-sealed-tight-anymore openings all over the car, she wasn’t feeling the love. She only felt the cold.
Part of Katie knew she was focusing her discomfort on Baby Hummer and the weather instead of what really had caused the slow adrenaline siphon. She was nervous about telling Rick her decision. She didn’t want their relationship to change.
Pulling into her usual parking space alongside the café, Katie hurried in the back door and found herself face-to-face with Rick.
“Hey, you’re here! Good. We’re slammed out front. Jared called in sick, and a group of Beanies showed up. We have a back-up on pizza orders.”
“Okay.” Katie wasn’t sure what Rick meant by “Beanies.” “Rick, I need to talk to you.”
“Can we do that later? We’re seriously behind.” Rick took off for the front of the café without waiting for an answer.
Katie reached for a clean apron, tucked up her hair under the less-than-flattering hairnet, and washed her hands.
Carlos, the assistant manager, was alone at the food prep station. He had six individual pizza crusts lined up ready for toppings.
“Here, Katie,” Carlos said. “Cheese only on these two. The next three are Hawaiian and then a pepperoni with extra cheese.”
“Got it.”
“We have nine more after these.”
“You’re kidding. What’s going on out there? A Beanie convention?”
“Beanies?” Carlos asked.
“Yeah, Rick said a bunch of Beanies showed up.”
Carlos laughed. “It’s not a bunch of Beanies. It’s a troop of Brownies. You know, those little girls with the brown uniforms and the funny hats.”
“They’re not funny hats. They’re little acorn tops. At least that’s what we used to call them when I was a Brownie. I didn’t know Brownies still wore uniforms.”
“Katie, you forgot the extra cheese on that one.”
“Sorry.”
“You didn’t by chance earn a speed-it-up merit badge when you were a Brownie, did you?”
“Why? Am I going too slow for you, Carlos?”
“Everybody goes too slow for me.”
Katie caught a glimpse of Rick out of the corner of her eye and said, “Nobody likes being stuck in the slow lane when they think they can keep up in the fast lane. But you know what? I’m beginning to think differently about the slow lane.”
“What are you talking about?” Carlos asked.
“Nothing. I was just starting to miss my favorite rut.”
Carlos ignored her. The next three hours went by in a blink. Katie barely saw Rick since he was working out front at the cash register where café guests came up to place their orders. She did notice when he came in the back to start going through his manager closeout routine. He had a series of checkout tasks when he was about to leave for the day. Today Katie noticed he was doing them earlier than usual.
She decided to take her break and followed Rick to the back office. “You on your way out?”
He nodded and put his initials on a page clipped to a board next to the freezer. “Max has been locked up in my apartment since eleven this morning. I should have left an hour ago. I only hope I don’t find a disaster. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Rick, I need to talk to you about the RA position.”
“What’s to talk about? You took the job, right?”
“How did you know?”
“Carley was in here an hour ago. She said someone she knew saw you leaving the RDs’ office this afternoon with the training manual.”
The surface temperature of Katie’s face shot to blazing. “Carley had no right to tell you! I wanted to talk to you about it. That really ticks me off. Sometimes Rancho is a beehive of busybodies buzzing into everybody else’s business.”
Rick gave her a long look.
Katie furrowed her brow. “I put too many ‘b’s’ in that sentence, didn’t I?”
“Maybe one or two, honey,” Rick said.
“Cute.” Katie let out a huff.
“Relax,” Rick said with a tone of authoritative stability in his voice. “Carley didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.”
“What do you mean?”
“I knew on Saturday when you talked about the position that you were going to take it. The numbers added up. It’s as simple as that.
You can get your room and board covered. I can’t match that with enough hours or wages here at the Dove’s Nest.”
“I thought you might be . . .”
“What?”
“Upset. Or disappointed in me or something.”
“Katie.” Rick took a step closer and drew her gaze into his with his warm brown eyes. “You are in the final stages of a long-term goal. I get that. You have to do whatever you need to so you can graduate. You know how hard I was hit with student loans after I graduated. You miraculously have managed to stay out of debt so far with the scholarships and the long hours you’ve worked. You’ve gotten this far without any help. Katie, that’s a major accomplishment. If you need to go for the job that gives you the best financial benefits, then that’s what you should do.”
Katie stood still for a moment, soaking in his words. “Is that it? Is that your final thought on the topic?”
Rick nodded. “You need to make your own decision, and obviously you have. Would it help you if I said I understand your reasoning and I support your decision?”
“Yeah, that would help a lot. Thanks.” Katie scanned Rick’s face, making sure she was reading honesty in his expression. “This means a lot to me, Rick.”
“I know it does.”
“You said on Saturday that we wouldn’t see each other as much if I took the RA pos
ition, and that’s true. I won’t be able to work here at all.”
Rick’s shoulders slumped. “Not even a few hours a week or on Saturdays?”
“No. The on duty hours are different every week, and it’s full-time. Plus, as far as my classes for next semester, I don’t know . . .”
“Katie, it’s okay. Relax. I’ll hire someone to cover your hours, and if it does work out for you to come back at some point, we can always fit you into the schedule.” He picked up his car keys and headed for the back door.
“Oh, Rick? One more thing. I need Thursday off.”
“Tell Carlos and put your schedule change request in my box.” Rick lifted his arm in a farewell gesture as he walked out.
Drawing in a deep breath, Katie thought, That went well. I think. One down and one to go.
She needed to tell her parents about her decision. Telling them would be much more difficult but for different reasons.
Because of those challenging reasons, Katie didn’t call her parents until Thursday after dinner. It was her last possible opportunity to tell them before her position was announced at the staff meeting. She knew she needed to honor her parents by giving them the update, even though at twenty-one she was independent of them and capable of making her own choices, legally and personally.
On her way across campus to Crown Hall, Katie made the phone call. Her mother answered. Pulling up her brightest voice, Katie said, “Hi, Mom. It’s Katie.” It killed her to have to announce her identity each time she called. The necessity came about after several years of her calling and saying, “Hi, it’s me,” and every time the response on the other end was “Who?”
“How are you, Mom?”
“Well, the sink backed up in the bathroom last week. We had to call a plumber.”
“I bet that was a mess.”
“No, not too messy. They have machines, you know. They make a terrible noise, but they aren’t very messy. It sure was expensive, though.”