swinging the arm casually, like a squid-ball batter walking up to the plate. Kacekans are tough, but Hasenpfeffers are strong, really strong, he was certainly strong enough to make good his promise. Everything had gone nearly dark; I was down to maybe a dozen working retinas, so I let him get right up to me. He bent down and planted his ugly, sloppy mug right in my face. “What’s a matter buggy-wuggey, is we running out of life?” He lurched back and laughed, and the crowd, that normally ran the other way when they saw me, joined him. He was taunting me with larva-speak; my least favorite flavor of ridicule, and not something I normally tolerated. He’d gotten close enough that I could smell him and I nearly gagged, but I could see him clearly at last.
The remaining bit of antenna I had wasn’t much, but it was enough. If mandibles could smile I would have, picturing the toads of Hashwalla, twenty-ton, armor plated amphibians with tractor-beam tongues and a compulsion for destruction.
There was a twinkle in the Hasenpfeffer’s eye. “Time to die, skuz…again.”
The nub of antenna twitched, connecting took a moment longer than I anticipated, but it was worth the wait. In a flash the severed arm’s elbow and wrist bent till the toad sticker was pointing directly at his wide open eye.
Hard to tell but I think I heard him croak, “Ut-oh,” right before I commanded the claw to fire. The toad-sticker’s artificially generated bolt of lightning blew his head into stew. It flew in every direction and, by the sounds of the muffled screams, I guessed I’d managed to cover the gawkers in freshly fried Hasenpfeffer.
Everything went dark, and then silent, and then I felt myself falling—and falling—and falling. But I could still picture that realized, terrified look on his soupy face. He transpired knowing that I was still the best. Wherever I was going, at least I’d have eternity to remember that, my last, best night, over and over again.
-Next Time-
Peedee3 is hired by a dame harder than a brick house, traverses the galaxy with one slippery eel, and faces loss of life and limbs at the paws of a cat armed with an SST launched knievel missile. A bug never had it so good.
PeeDee3, Episode 2, In Sheep’s Clothing
I hope you’ve enjoyed this, the first PeeDee3 story.
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