CHAPTER FOUR.
As soon as I was clear of the door, I looked up into Ben's face andsaid, "Father, where are we going?"
"Well," replied he, "I am going to take you to school."
"School! What am I going to school for?" replied I.
"For biting your grandmother, I expect, in the first place, and to get alittle learning, and a good deal of flogging, if what they say is true!I never was at school myself."
"What do you learn, and why are you flogged?"
"You learn to read, and to write, and to count; I can't do either--more's the pity; and you are flogged, because without flogging, littleboys can't learn anything."
This was not a very satisfactory explanation. I made no furtherinquiries, and we continued our way in silence until we arrived at theschool door; there was a terrible buzz inside. Ben tapped, the dooropened, and a volume of hot air burst forth, all the fresh air havingbeen consumed in repeating the fresh lessons for the day. Ben walked upbetween the forms, and introduced me to the schoolmaster, whose name wasMr Thadeus O'Gallagher, a poor scholar from Ireland, who had set up anestablishment at half-a-guinea a quarter for day scholars; he wasreckoned a very severe master, and the children were kept in betterorder in his school than in any other establishment of the kind in thetown; and I presume that my granny had made inquiries to that effect, asthere were one or two schools of the same kind much nearer to mymother's house. Ben, who probably had a great respect for learning, inconsequence of his having none himself, gave a military salute to MrO'Gallagher, saying, with his hand still to his hat, "A new boy, sir,come to school."
"Oh, by the powers! don't I know him?" cried Mr O'Gallagher; "it's theyoung gentleman who bit a hole in his grandmother; Master Keene, as theycall him. Keen teeth, at all events. Lave him with me; and that's hisdinner in the basket I presume; lave that too. He'll soon be a goodboy, or it will end in a blow-up."
Ben put down the basket, turned on his heel, and left the schoolroom,and me standing by the throne of my future pedagogue--I say throne,because he had not a desk, as schoolmasters generally have, but a sortof square dais, about eighteen inches high, on which was placed anotheroblong superstructure of the same height, serving him for a seat; bothparts were covered with some patched and torn old drugget, and uponsubsequent examination I found them to consist of three old claret caseswithout covers, which he had probably picked up very cheap; two of themturned upside down, so as to form the lower square, and the third placedin the same way upside down, upon the two lower. Mr O'Gallagher sat ingreat dignity upon the upper one, with his feet on the lower, being thussufficiently raised upon an eminence to command a view of the whole ofhis pupils in every part of the school. He was not a tall man, but verysquare built, with carroty hair and very bushy red whiskers; to me heappeared a most formidable person, especially when he opened his largemouth and displayed his teeth, when I was reminded of the sign of theRed Lion close to my mother's house. I certainly never had been beforeso much awed during my short existence as I was with the appearance ofmy pedagogue, who sat before me somewhat in the fashion of a Romantribune, holding in his hand a short round ruler, as if it were histruncheon of authority. I had not been a minute in the school before Iobserved him to raise his arm; away went the ruler whizzing through theair, until it hit the skull of the lad for whom it was intended at theother end of the schoolroom. The boy, who had been talking to hisneighbour, rubbed his poll, and whined.
"Why don't you bring back my ruler, you spalpeen?" said Mr O'Gallagher."Be quick, Johnny Target, or it will end in a blow-up."
The boy, who was not a little confused with the blow, sufficientlyrecovered his senses to obey the order, and whimpering as he came up,returned the ruler to the hands of Mr O'Gallagher.
"That tongue of yours will get you into more trouble than it willbusiness, I expect, Johnny Target; it's an unruly member, and requires aconstant ruler over it." Johnny Target rubbed his head and saidnothing.
"Master Keene," said he, after a short pause, "did you see what atundering tump on the head that boy got just now, and do you know whatit was for?"
"No," replied I.
"Where's your manners, you animal? No `If you plase.' For the future,you must not forget to say, `No, sir,' or, `No, Mr O'Gallagher.' D'yemind me--now say yes--what?"
"Yes, what!"
"Yes, what! you little ignoramus; say `yes, Mr O'Gallagher,' andrecollect, as the parish clerk says, `this is the last time of asking.'"
"Yes, Mr O'Gallagher."
"Ah! now you see, there's nothing like coming to school--you've learn'tmanners already; and now, to go back again, as to why Johnny Target hadthe rap on the head, which brought tears into his eyes? I'll just tellyou, it was for talking; you see, the first thing for a boy to learn, isto hold his tongue, and that shall be your lesson for the day; you'lljust sit down there and if you say one word during the whole time youare in the school, it will end in a blow-up; that means, on the presentoccasion, that I'll skin you alive as they do the eels, which beingrather keen work, will just suit your constitution." I had wit enoughto feel assured that Mr O'Gallagher was not to be trifled with, so Itook my seat, and amused myself with listening to the various lessonswhich the boys came up to say, and the divers punishments inflicted--fewescaped. At last, the hour of recreation and dinner arrived, the boyswere dismissed, each seized his basket, containing his provisions, orran home to get his meal with his parents: I found myself sitting in theschool-room _tete-a-tete_ with Mr O'Gallagher, and feeling very wellinclined for my dinner I cast a wistful eye at my basket, but I saidnothing; Mr O'Gallagher, who appeared to have been in thought, at lastsaid--
"Mr Keene, you may now go out of school, and scream till you're hoarse,just to make up for lost time."
"May I take my dinner, sir?" inquired I.
"Is it your dinner you mane?--to be sure you may; but, first, I'll justlook into the basket and its contents; for you see, Mr Keene, there'ssome victuals that don't agree with larning; and if you eat them, you'llnot be fit for your work when your play-hours are over. What's easy ofdigestion will do; but what's bad for little boys' stomachs may get youinto a scrape, and then it will end in a blow-up; that is, you'll have ataste of the ferrule or the rod--two assistants of mine, to whom I'venot yet had the pleasure of introducing you--all in good time. If whatI've hear of you be true, you and they will be better acquainted aforelong."
Mr O'Gallagher then examined the contents of my basket; my aunt Millyhad taken care that I should be well provided: there was a large paperof beef sandwiches, a piece of bread and cheese, and three or fourslices of seed-cake. Mr O'Gallagher opened all the packages, and,after a pause, said--
"Now, Master Keene, d'ye think you would ever guess how I came by all mylarning, and what I fed upon when it was pumped into me? Then I'll tellyou; it was dry bread, with a little bit of cheese when I could get it,and that wasn't often. Bread and cheese is the food to make a scholarof ye; and mayhap one slice of the cake mayn't much interfere, so takethem, and run away to the play-ground as fast as you can; and, d'ye hearme, Master Keene, recollect your grace before meat--`For what we havereceived, the Lord make us truly thankful.' Now, off wid you. The restof the contents are confiscated for my sole use, and your particularbenefit."
Mr O'Gallagher grinned as he finished his oration; and he looked somuch like a wild beast, that I was glad to be off as fast as I could. Iturned round as I went out of the door, and perceived that thesandwiches were disappearing with wonderful rapidity; but I caught hiseye: it was like that of a tiger's at his meal, and I was off atredoubled speed.