Read Perfect - 02 Page 31


  ABOUT THE BOOK

  Everyone dreams about the perfect life, but an obsession with perfection can be crippling. Cara Sykes is beautiful, rich, and destined for Stanford. She has the seemingly ideal circumstance; however, unreal parental expectations have already sent her twin brother, Conner, to a psychiatric hospital for attempted suicide, and Cara herself, confused over her sexual identity, is afraid to admit that she is not sexually drawn to her boyfriend, Sean, but rather to Danielle, a girl she meets snowboarding. Her admission will destroy the perfect image her parents have impressed upon her. Sean O’Connell, a baseball star resolute on earning a scholarship to Stanford to be near Cara, pumps iron and takes steroids to become the perfect hitting machine, but the steroids send him into a spiral of rage. Paralleling their relationship is the story of two sisters, Kendra and Jenna Mathieson. Kendra, Conner’s former girlfriend, will do anything to become a supermodel, including starving her 5'10" frame down to a size 2, having rhinoplasty and a breast augmentation, and having sex with older men in the modeling world who promise to take her to the top. Jenna, wounded by living in the shadows of her “perfect” sister, pops pills, drinks, and flaunts her sexuality. Andre Kane, Jenna’s rich boyfriend, does not escape perfectionism—his mother is a plastic surgeon who turns image dreams into reality, and he himself, interested in becoming a professional dancer, fears sharing his passion with his parents because they believe a perfect life includes a financially rewarding career. Driven by expectations, all five teens feel disempowered and fear not living up to expectations. In order to survive, they must find courage to stand up for who they really are.

  PREREADING ACTIVITY

  Is perfection a reality or an unattainable abstraction? Explain.

  In what ways do today’s youth feel a need to be perfect?

  Is the need for perfection self-imposed or is it caused by external forces? Why are some individuals more driven than others to be perfect? Explain.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  How does Cara view her parents? Describe her relationship with them. What happened to her brother, Conner?

  Compare and contrast Kendra and Jenna. Are they close? Why or why not?

  Why does Kendra’s mother impress the importance of pageants upon Kendra? What effect does the pressure have?

  Jenna appears not to be driven by perfection. In fact, she seems to retaliate against her parents’ expectations, but she is self-destructive all the same. Explain.

  Why does Jenna take Andre with her to have lunch with her father and his future wife? Why does she not feel good enough for Andre?

  Sean begins as a likeable character, but as the story progresses he spins out of control. Why does he have difficulty accepting Cara’s sexuality?

  Andre feels special affection for his grandparents. What did he learn about pursuing one’s dreams from his grandfather? How are his decisions affected by his relationship with his grandparents?

  Kendra believes “Empty is the perfect state of being” What does she mean? What other characters in the story would agree with her? How might they define empty?

  Sean lost his parents at an early age. How might this loss affect his fear of losing Cara? How might it impact his behavior?

  Cara says, “Transformation begins—and ends—inside of you.” What accounts for this belief? What does it say about her ability to deal with her parents’ expectations of her?

  When Sean learns that Cara is no longer interested in him, he does not want to stop his anger. He says he doesn’t want to stop it “because anger feels better than the pain of losing someone.” Do you agree or disagree? What accounts for Sean’s perspective?

  In what way is Cara impacted by her brother’s death? Her parents? What does Sean learn from Conner’s death?

  Shantell is a minor character in the story. In what way does she foil Jenna’s personality? What does Andre learn about relationships from Shantell?

  One might say Andre finds release in dancing. Explain.

  Which character has the most difficult challenges to overcome? Why? Who is the most likely to succeed and why?

  Compare and contrast Andre’s mother and Cara’s mother. Which mother is more capable of understanding the damage she may have caused as well as her son’s or daughter’s feelings? Who is more likely to admit she has made parenting mistakes?

  How can an emphasis on perfection make an individual believe he/she is not worthy or good enough?

  Activities:

  Identify passages for the main characters that illustrate their perspectives on and/or definition of love. Do their beliefs change throughout the story? What accounts for the way they define relationships? Write a short poem from the perspective of one character that illustrates his/her perspective on male/female relationships.

  Individuals who have been driven to be perfect often say they are afraid of failure. Why might this fear exist? Is it rational? Interview a family member or another older person about how he/she set goals in high school. What goals did they achieve and what or who influenced the choices they made? What fears did they have? What would they change now if given the chance?

  Hopkins’s work is rich in metaphor. Examine the metaphor that begins “Some people say love is fire.” What does this metaphor tell readers about the complexities of love? Find other examples of metaphor in the text and discuss their meaning. Try your hand at writing your own metaphor for perfection.

  Research statistics on teens and plastic surgery or steroid use. What trends do you see? What dangers exist for young people who undergo plastic surgery or who use steroids?

  Guide prepared by Pam B. Cole, Professor of English Education & Literacy, Kennesaw State University, Kennesaw, GA.

  This guide has been provided by Simon & Schuster for classroom, library, and reading group use. It may be reproduced in its entirety or excerpted for these purposes.

  Without Warning

  Sometimes

  your’re traveling

  a highway, the only road

  you’ve ever known,

  and wham! A semi

  comes from nowhere

  and rolls right over you.

  Sometimes

  you don’t wake up.

  But if you happen

  to, you know things

  will never be

  the same.

  Sometimes

  that’s not

  so bad.

  Sometimes

  lives intersect,

  no rhyme, no reason,

  except, perhaps,

  for a passing semi.

  Triad

  Three

  separate highways

  intersect at a place

  no reasonable person

  would ever want to go.

  Three

  lives that would have

  been cut short, if not

  for hasty interventions

  by loved ones. Or Fate.

  Three

  people, with nothing

  at all in common

  except age, proximity,

  and a wish to die.

  Three

  tapestries, tattered

  at the edges and come

  unwoven to reveal

  a single mutual thread.

  The Thread

  Wish

  you could turn off

  the questions, turn

  off the voices,

  turn off all sound.

  Yearn

  to close out

  the ugliness, close

  out the filthiness,

  close out all light.

  Long

  to cast away

  yesterday, cast

  away memory,

  cast away all jeopardy.

  Pray

  you could somehow stop

  the uncertainty, somehow

  stop the loathing,

  somehow stop the pain.

  Act

  on your impulse,

  swallow the bottle,

&
nbsp; cut a little deeper,

  put the gun to your chest.

  Conner

  Arrival

  The glass doors swing open,

  in perfect sync, precisely

  timed so you don’t have

  to think. Just stroll right in.

  I doubt it’s quite as easy

  to turn around and walk

  back outside, retreat to

  unstable ground. Home turf.

  An orderly escorts me down

  spit-shined corridors, past

  tinted Plexiglas and closed,

  unmarked doors. Mysteries.

  One foot in front of the other,

  counting tiles on the floor so

  I don’t have to focus the blur

  of painted smiles, fake faces.

  A mannequin in a tight blue

  suit, with a too-short skirt

  (and legs that can wear it),

  in a Betty Boop voice halts us.

  I’m Dr. Boston. Welcome to

  Aspen Springs. I’ll give you

  the tour. Paul, please take his

  things to the Redwood Room.

  Aspen Springs. Redwood Room.

  As if this place were a five-star

  resort, instead of a lockdown

  where crazies pace. Waiting.

  At Least

  It doesn’t have a hospital

  stink. Oh yes, it’s all very

  clean, from cafeteria chairs

  to the bathroom sink. Spotless.

  But the clean comes minus

  the gag-me smell, steeping

  every inch of that antiseptic

  hell where they excised

  the damnable bullet. I

  wonder what Dad said when

  he heard I tried to put myself

  six feet under—and failed.

  I should have put the gun

  to my head, worried less

  about brain damage, more

  about getting dead. Finis.

  Instead, I decided a shot

  through the heart would

  make it stop beating, rip

  it apart to bleed me out.

  I couldn’t even do that

  right. The bullet hit bone,

  left my heart in one piece.

  In hindsight, luck wasn’t

  with me that day. Mom

  found me too soon, or my

  pitiful life might have ebbed

  to the ground in arterial flow.

  I thought she might die too,

  at the sight of so much blood

  and the thought of it staining

  her white Armani blouse.

  Conner, what have you done?

  she said. Tell me this was just

  an accident. She never heard

  my reply, never shed a tear.

  I Don’t Remember

  Much after that, except

  for speed. Ghostly red lights,

  spinning faster and faster,

  as I began to recede from

  consciousness. Floating

  through the ER doors,

  frenzied motion. A needle’s

  sting. But I do remember,

  just before the black hole

  swallowed me, seeing Mom’s

  face. Her furious eyes

  followed me down into sleep.

  It’s a curious place, the

  Land of Blood Loss and

  Anesthesia, floating through it

  like swimming in sand. Taxing.

  After a while, you think you

  should reach for the shimmering

  surface. You can’t hold your

  breath, and even if you could,

  it’s dark and deep and bitter

  cold, where nightmares and truth

  collide, and you wonder if death

  could unfold fear so real. Palpable.

  So you grope your way up into

  the light, to find you can’t

  move, with your arms strapped

  tight and overflowing tubes.

  And everything hits you like

  a train at full speed. Voices.

  Strange faces. A witches’ stewpot

  of smells. Pain. Most of all,

  pain.

  Tony

  Just Saw

  A new guy check in. Tall,

  built, with a way fine face,

  and acting too tough to tumble.

  He’s a nutshell asking to crack.

  Wonder if he’s ever let a guy

  touch that pumped-up bod.

  They gave him the Redwood

  Room. It’s right across

  from mine—the Pacific

  Room. Pretty peaceful in

  here most of the time, long

  as my meds are on time.

  Ha. Get it? Most of the time,

  if my meds are on time. If you

  don’t get it, you’ve never

  been in a place like this,

  never hung tough from one

  call till the next.

  Wasted. That’s the only way

  to get by in this “treatment

  center.” Nice name for a loony

  bin. Everyone in here is crazy

  one way or another. Everyone.

  Even the so-called doctors.

  Most of ’em are druggies.

  Fucking loser meth freaks.

  I mean, if you’re gonna

  purposely lose your mind,

  you want to get it back some

  day. Don’t you? Okay, maybe not.

  I Lost My Mind

  A long time ago, but it

  wasn’t exactly my idea.

  Shit happens, as they say,

  and my shit literally hit

  the fan. But enough sappy

  crap. We were talking drugs.

  I won’t tell you I never tried

  crystal, but it really wasn’t

  my thing. I saw enough

  people, all wound up, drop

  over the edge, that I guess

  I decided not to take that leap.

  I always preferred creeping

  into a giant, deep hole where

  no bad feelings could follow.

  At least till I had to come up

  for air. I diddled with pot first, but

  that tasty green weed couldn’t drag

  me low enough. Which mostly

  left downers, “borrowed” from

  medicine cabinets and kitchen

  cabinets and nightstands.

  Wherever I could find them.

  And once in a while—not often,

  because it was pricey and tough

  to score—once in a while, I

  tumbled way low, took a ride

  on the H train. Oh yeah,

  that’s what I’m talking about.

  A hot shot clear to hell.

  I Wasn’t Worried

  About getting hooked, though

  I knew plenty of heroin addicts.

  I didn’t do it enough, for one

  thing. Anyway, I figured

  I’d be graveyard rot before

  my eighteenth birthday.

  It hasn’t quite worked out

  that way, though I’ve got

  a few months to go. And

  once I get out of here, I’ll

  have a better shot at it. Maybe

  next time I won’t try pills.

  I mean, you’d think half a bottle

  of Valium would do the trick.

  Maybe it would have, but I had

  to toss in a fifth of Jack Daniels.

  Passed out, just as I would

  have expected. What I didn’t

  expect was waking up, head stuck

  to the sidewalk, mired in puke.

  Oh yeah, I heaved the whole

  fucking mess. Better yet, guess

  who happened by? You got it.

  One of the city’s finest.

  Poor cop di
dn’t know what

  to do—clean me up, haul

  me in, or puke himself. So

  he did all three, only dispatch

  said to take me to the ER.

  Hospital first. Loony bin

  later.

 


 

  Ellen Hopkins, Perfect - 02

  (Series: # )

 

 


 

 
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