hollowness in the captain's voice. "We didn'treach it. But we will. You'll repair the _Alpha_ and refuel it."
"As you were saying," prompted Colonel Halter, "you didn't reach it."
"A meteor," said the captain. "Straight into our rockets. Our shipbegan to drift. The cameras, of course, set in the bulkheads, werewatching us."
"May I see? Anything you have to show or say will be strictly betweenus. I've given orders for our communication to be unrecorded andprivate. You have my word."
"You'll be allowed to see. I've given my permission."
Colonel Halter thought, _You have given permission?_
Then he saw in his telescreen the little old lady who was CarolineGordon, dietician and televisor, press a button on the side of herchair. Instantly the picture changed. He heard her voice. "You see therocket room of the _Alpha_ back almost seventy-five years, a fewminutes before the accident."
* * * * *
There were the four torpedo-like tubes projecting into the cylindricalroom; the mass of levers, buttons, wheels and flashing lightspots.
Halter watched John Crowley, the rocketman, broad-shouldered andlithe, turning a wheel at the point of one of the giant tubes.
The next moment, he was flung to the floor. He struggled to his feet,jerked an oxygen mask from the bag at his chest, clamped it to hisface and rushed to the tubes. He twirled wheels, pulled levers,pressed buttons. He glanced at the board on which the lightspots hadbeen flashing. Darkness. He pressed a button. A foot-thick metal doorswung open. He stepped through it. The door shut and locked.
Leaning against the steel wall at the end of a long companionway, hepulled off his oxygen mask and ran along the companionway toward thecontrol room.
The others met him in the center of the ship.
Crowley saluted the young Captain McClelland.
"The rockets are gone, sir. A meteor."
McClelland did not smile or frown, show sadness or fear or any otheremotion. He was tall and slim then, with cropped black hair, its linehigh on his head. His face was lean and strong-featured. There was asense of command about the captain.
Quietly, he said, "We'll all go to the control room."
They followed him as he strode along the companionway.
The telescreen in Colonel Halter's office darkened and there was onlythe old voice of the captain, saying, "We were drifting in space. Youknow what that means. But no one broke down. We were too well trained,too well conditioned. We gathered in the control room."
Light opened up again on Colonel Halter's telescreen. He saw thepolished metal walls, the pilot chairs and takeoff hammocks, thelevers, buttons and switches of the young ship back those many years,and the six young people standing before a young Captain McClelland,who was speaking to them of food, water and oxygen.
It was decided that their metabolisms must be lowered and that theymust live for the most part in their bunks. All activity must be cutto minimum. All weapons must be jettisoned, except one, the captain'sshock gun, that could not kill but only cause unconsciousness fortwenty-four hours.
* * * * *
Captain McClelland gave an order. The weapons were gathered up andplaced in an airlock which thrust them out into space. Five of thecrew lay down in their bunks. Dr. Anna Mueller, tall and slim,full-bosomed, tawny-skinned and tawny-haired, remained standing. Shepressed the thought recorders over the heads of the other five peoplewho lay there motionless, clamped the tiny electrodes onto her owntemples and placed a small, black box, covered with many tiny dials,beside the bunk of Miss Gordon, the televisor.
A moment later, a jumble of thoughts: _Now I am dead. An end. Forwhat, now that it's here? Love. The warm press of a body. Trees andgrass. Sunrise. To take poison. Clean air after a rain. City, people,lights. Sunset--_
The thought words jumbled like a voice from a recorder when the speedis turned up.
Then they faded and one thought stream came through clean and clear:_I am Dr. Anna Mueller. Good none of the others can hear what I'mthinking. Was afraid I'd die this way someday. But to prolong it.Painless death in an instant. Could give it to us all. But orders.Captain McClelland. No feeling? Can't he see what I feel for him? Whyam I thinking like this? Now. But this is what is happening to me.He'd rather make love to this ship. Kiss Crowley before I give him themetabolism sedation shot. Captain'll see I'm a woman._
She stepped to the bulkhead and pressed a button. A medicine cabinetopened. After filling a hypodermic syringe, she went to Crowley, bentdown and gave him a long kiss on the lips.
Instantly Colonel Halter heard thoughts.
Captain McClelland: _She must be weak. Why's she doing that? Thoughtshe was stronger. But the ship's the thing. The ship and I._
Crowley: _What the hell? Didn't know she went for me. Just a half hourwith her before the needle. What's to lose?_ He pulled her down tohim.
Lieutenant Brady: _He'd do that, the damned animal. But I'm not enoughof an animal. I'm a good spaceman. All spontaneity's been trained outof me. Feel like killing him. And taking her. Anyplace. But I'm socontrolled. Got to do something. This last time...._ He sat up in hisbunk.
Caroline Gordon: _I knew he was like that. Married when we got back.Mrs. Crowley. And if we'd gotten back. Out every other night withanother woman. I could kill him._ She turned her face away.
Daniel Carlyle: _Look at them. And I can't live. Only one person needsme, back on Earth, and she's the only. And that's enough. But maybe Ican kill myself...._ He did not move.
* * * * *
The thoughts stopped and Colonel Halter leaned forward in his chair ashe saw Captain McClelland standing beside his bunk, the gun in hishand. Dr. Mueller saw, too--the young Dr. Mueller, back thoseseventy-five years. She struggled to pull away from Crowley.
Lieutenant Brady stood, started toward the captain, stopped. Crowleypushed Dr. Mueller away from him, leaped to his feet and lunged towardthe captain. A stream of light appeared between the gun muzzle andCrowley. He stumbled, caught himself, stood up very straight, thensank down, as though he had been deflated.
The captain motioned Dr. Mueller to her bunk. She hesitated, pain inher face, turned, went to her bunk and lay down. Another stream oflight appeared between her and the gun. She lay very still. The needleslipped from her fingers.
The captain turned the gun on Lieutenant Brady, who was coming at him,arms raised. The light beam again. The lieutenant sank back. CarolineGordon was watching the captain as the light stream appeared. Sherelaxed, her eyes closed. Daniel Carlyle did not move as the lighttouched him.
Captain McClelland holstered the gun. He picked up the hypodermicneedle and sterilized it at the medicine cabinet. Then he injectedCrowley's arm, filled the hypo four more times, injected the others.
He finally thrust the needle into his own arm and lay down. Hisbreathing began to slow. There was only the control room of the shipnow, like some ancient mausoleum, with the six still figures and thecontrol board dark and the eternal ocean of night pressing against theports.
The picture of the ship's control room began to fade on the screen.After a moment of darkness, the live picture of the six old figures,sitting in their half circle, spread again over the lighted square.
Colonel Halter saw his own image, looking into the old masks.
He said, "And where was _your_ weakness, Captain McClelland?"
"I was concerned," said the old voice, "with keeping us alive."
"You weren't aware that some of your crew were emotionally involvedwith each other?"
"No."
"Are there any more records you could show me?"
"Many more, Colonel, but I don't think it's necessary for you to seethem. It would take too long. And we want to get back out into space."He paused. "We can brief you."
"About your going back into space.... I'm not sure we can allow it."
"Our answer's very simple. There's a button, under my thumb, on thearm of this chair. A l
ittle pressure. Carbon monoxide. It would bequick."
"Your idea?"
"Yes. A matter of preserving our integrity. We'd rather die than facethe horrors of life on Earth."
* * * * *
Halter turned to the semi-circle of faces. "And you've all agreed tothis--this suicide?"
The captain cut in. "Of course. I realized years ago that the onlyplace we could live was in space, in this ship."
"When did your crew realize this?"
"After a couple of years. I told them over and over again, day afterday. After all, I am captain. I dictate the policy."
"You've come back. You're in port. You're not in complete command."
"I'll always be in