Perfect Love
(A Celestra Novella )
Addison Moore
*This book consists of Logan’s point of view from select chapters in ELYSIAN (36-39). Bonus feature includes the first chapter of
Addison Moore’s new series, CELESTRA FOREVER AFTER.
*In no way does this book offer spoilers to Skyla’s fate at the end of the Celestra series or the fate of Logan, Gage, or Marshall. Those answers lie embedded in the final few chapters of Elysian.
Edited by: Sarah Freese
Cover Design by: Regina Wamba of www.MaeIDesign.com
Interior design and formatting by: Amy Eye of www.theeyesforediting.com/
Copyright © 2013 by Addison Moore
http://addisonmoorewrites.blogspot.com/
This novel is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to peoples either living or deceased is purely coincidental. Names, places, and characters are figments of the author’s imagination. The author holds all rights to this work. It is illegal to reproduce this novel without written expressed consent from the author herself.
All Rights Reserved.
Books by Addison Moore
New Adult Romance:
Someone to Love (Someone to Love 1)
Someone Like You (January 2014)
3:AM Kisses (3:AM Kisses 1)
Winter Kisses (3:AM Kisses 2)
The Solitude of Passion
Beautiful Oblivion
Perfect Love (A Celestra Novella)
Young Adult Romance:
Ethereal (Celestra Series Book 1)
Tremble (Celestra Series Book 2)
Burn (Celestra Series Book 3)
Wicked (Celestra Series Book 4)
Vex (Celestra Series Book 5)
Expel (Celestra Series Book 6)
Toxic Part One (Celestra Series Book 7)
Toxic Part Two (Celestra Series Book 7.5)
Elysian (Celestra Series Book 8)
Ephemeral (The Countenance Trilogy 1)
Evanescent (The Countenance Trilogy 2)
Ethereal Knights (Celestra Knights)
To those who love Celestra, this is for you.
1
Logan
Talking to the Dead
The sky over Paragon is dark and dismal like a reflection of my tortured heart—my soul just days from leaving the planet.
Barron and Emma are gone for the night. I’ve been using them as an excuse as to why I haven’t told Gage yet, but they’re not home, so it looks like it’s game over on that good time.
I make the sad trek from my bedroom to his and give a solid knock over his door.
“What?” he barks from inside. He’s been in a piss-poor mood these past few weeks—mostly because Skyla hasn’t bowed to his ebony-haired glory. I can’t blame him, though. It’s pretty easy to get used to Skyla’s special brand of idol worship, I should know. I’m sort of missing the hell out of it myself. But the reverse is true. Both Gage and I would die a thousand deaths to be with Skyla, and now I’ve already died, I’m a walking corpse just waiting to lie in a casket and have the lid sealed shut. The last thing to rain down on me will be dirt from the Paragon cemetery. And the story of who I am will be finished, every period in its final resting place—my earthly eyes closed forever.
I twist the knob and let myself in. “Just me.”
Gage lies over his bed with the TV flipped on while a Huskies game blares in the background.
“What’s up?” He switches the TV to mute and tosses the remote to the side.
“Just thought I should share a little something with you.” I take a seat at his desk and roll myself over to him. “Got some shit news, dude.”
His eyes round out. “Is this about—”
“My life, or lack thereof.” I nod into the sorry idea. He’s tried to confront me about it a few times, but I proved evasive, elusive as hell. And the truth is, at one point I didn’t want anyone to know, not even Gage. “I talked to Candace.” Skyla’s mother has been carefully walking me through each new level of pain—although, she’s the one who put me in this position to begin with. Not that I don’t appreciate what she’s already done for me by allowing me to have this chance at life with Skyla—even if the timer is up on that good deal. And now there’s nothing to look forward to with the exception of being buried under six feet of Paragon soil.
Gage sits up with his adrenaline pumping, his eyes widening with a mix of fear and anger. “What did she say?” It comes out lackluster because deep down Gage doesn’t want to hear it, just as much as I don’t want to give it.
“She zapped me to the ethereal plane—told me exactly how it was going to go down. Looks like I take off for good at the end of this weekend.”
“Shit.” He lands his feet to the floor. His face bleaches as if he might be sick.
“Don’t worry about it.” I try to brush it off as if I were good to go. “It was supposed to happen this way.” Not that I believe it for one fucking minute. Everything about my death has raised a dozen red flags from the beginning. I was supposed to be right here. I was supposed to live out a decent span of years—to be with Skyla. And now my life has burned up like a field fire right under my nose. I had no clue the end would come so quick. No more earthly charity for Logan Oliver.
Candace had better have one hell of a plot twist at the ready, or I’m going to be severely pissed for one long eternity.
“It shouldn’t go down this way. In fact, it shouldn’t go down at all.” His face glazes over. “You tell Skyla yet?” His furious eyes settle over mine like cobalt flames. I don’t have the balls to shake my head, so I press out a depleted smile instead. “Dude”—he straightens, serious as shit—“you have to tell her.”
“I can’t.” I drop my elbows to my knees and stare at the hardwood floor because sometimes there are no words. “She knows it’s coming. I don’t see why I need to drill it home for her. ”
“Drill it home for her?” His voice sinks low, pissed as hell, all for Skyla. “You don’t think she’s going to be upset when she finds out you never gave her the chance to say goodbye?”
“I won’t be here, so I guess that’s for you to know.” I meet his pissed off gaze. Who the hell is he to judge me? It’s mighty easy to see what’s right and wrong until death is on the other foot.
“What do you mean that’s for me to know?” Gage gets wild-eyed and squirrely like he does just before a fight. “Take care of this tonight. Go find her and tell her. If it’s only days, she’s going to want to spend every last minute with you. I know she will.” His voice rises to its upper register like he’s about to start a riot—like he’s in the mood to snap every one of my weary bones, and I bet he is.
“Settle the fuck down.” I bark it out far more animated than I wanted. “Don’t you think I’ve thought about it? This is my business and this is how I want to deal with it. It’s only going to make her miserable knowing there’s a countdown taking place. That’s why God doesn’t stamp an expiration date on people, genius,” I roar. “It’s too fucking painful to deal with.”
A strangled silence clots up the air as Gage bears into me, refining his rage as if he were ready and willing to catapult me into the afterlife just a little bit sooner.
“So that’s it?” He huffs a dull laugh. “You tell me, and you expect me to keep it quiet. Did you tell my dad?”
“No. Just you—one and done. I’m not telling anyone else and neither are you.” It never even occurred to me that Gage would go against my wishes and run around yapping to anyone let alone, Skyla. In my mind I thought we’d be hugging it out right about now—that he’d respect the fact I want him to be there for Skyla. But it’s becoming obvious I need to spell it out for him. “You’re going to help her get through this, dude. I want you to.”
My voice drops off. “I want things to work out between the two of you.”
A growl of a laugh rumbles from him, but his narrowed eyes let me know he’s still pissed to hell.
“You want this to be some kind of bonding exercise between Skyla and me? You’re sick—you know that?” He kicks the chair I’m sitting in, and I float back a few feet. “She’s going to hate both you and me if she finds out we knew and let her go about her day like it was no big deal. You know she’s busy with practice. She’s got a fucking paper due in Lit, that’s why she’s not around. You need to go to her, tell her what’s happening right now. You can’t just let her spend all that precious time away from you.” He pauses, pulling back, stunned by some big epiphany he’s having. “Wait.” He holds out a hand. “You piece of shit.” He huffs an incredulous laugh. “She’s not going to hate you, and you know it. She’s going to hate me.” He leans in as if he’s onto my big bad plan of deception.
Crap. Nothing could be further from the truth, and he’s wrong. Skyla would never hate Gage. I’ve seen the way she looks at him. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what the hell is. Besides, he’s the one fate determined would marry Skyla, not me.
“Swear to God it’s not what I’m doing. I just thought—”
“You didn’t think!” He charges at me, and I bounce to my feet to meet him until we’re chest to chest. “You fucking never think. That’s why we’re in this mess to begin with.” He sends me sailing into his desk, and his trophies rain down over me.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Gage yanks me in by the T-shirt with the fire of vengeance brewing in his eyes. “That means you’re talking to the wrong fucking person you idiot. You should be with Skyla right now, pouring your heart out—not hoping I’ll translate how much I think you cared about her when she’s broken and dying inside because you left her without so much as a goodbye.” He pushes me back into his desk, good and hard, and a stack of paperbacks fall over my chest like literary precision missiles.
I get up and pat my palms over my jeans because if I don’t find something to keep my hands busy, God knows I’m going to deck him.
Oh, what the hell.
I give a good swing and clock him square in the jaw.
“Shit.” He holds his fingers over his mouth and inspects for blood. “You think I’m going to let you get away with that crap just because you’re checking out?”
Gage needles into me with that death stare of his, and I can’t tell if he’s genuinely pissed or already grieving me on some level. I suppose my ego wants to believe the latter. Hell, I know Gage is hurting, too. I know I am.
“Give it to me.” I flick my fingers at him like a dare. “Go ahead. Kick the shit out of me one last time—you can’t kill me, I’m already dead. I get all the pain and none of the pleasure—story of my life.”
“You think this is all about you, huh?” He tilts his head, mocking me. “Poor little Logan—and what about Skyla? Dude, you say you love her. She’s the only thing that has ever come between us, and you’d rather take a beating from me than drive the hell to her house and tell her everything she deserves to know? You ever hear of a thing called closure? Because she’s going to need it, from you, not me,” he roars the words in my face so loud I can’t see straight.
Maybe Gage is right—hell, I know he is. But this is me. I like to make all my mistakes right in the open, out fucking loud. And if not breaking Skyla’s heart for the next few days is the only way I can think to comfort her then that’s what I’m going to do. Besides, if the universe wanted her in on my dirty little secret it would tell her itself. That’s how I’d be sure she was supposed to know—that it was okay to bring her into this dark hole with me. But I need Candace to help me with this, and she doesn’t seem to be willing to help me out with too many things these days, other than dying. She’s more than glad to assist with that little detail.
“I’m not telling, Skyla.” I hold out my arms, welcoming the sucker punch I’m sure he’s about to gift me.
A moment bounces by. The air in the room grows stale as if every molecule were acutely aware of what’s about to go down.
His blue eyes dart into me as he winces. “Then I’m going to have to beat the shit out of you,” he says it plain as fact.
“Because you love Skyla?” I give a curt nod. “You should be on your knees thanking me for eating dirt.”
“On my knees?” He gives a little smirk as his chest expands. “Why’s that? Because you think that’s the only way I can have her—if you’re not around? I’m going to fucking hold my tongue out of respect for you, but there are plenty of things I can say to prove you wrong.”
And there it is. Gage always knew how to knife me with that sword parked in his mouth.
He gets in my face until we’re nose to nose and roars, “Tell her!”
I don’t say anything just tap my chest with the invite. “Do it but know I’m going to fight back.” Only I’m not going to hit him simply because he’s hitting me, I’m ready to let out some pent up rage over the fact he gets to love Skyla for the rest of his life, exactly the way I wish I could have.
Gage knocks me back, and this time the top half of his desk crashes to the ground. I don’t mind implementing my Celestra strength and shoving his ass right into the hall until he damn near falls over the banister. I charge at him, and we kick and punch our way down the stairs, rolling over those final few steps like a couple of hopped up bears. We continue our newfound wrath into the kitchen, exploding cabinets, shattering bowls and plates. He tries to noose me with the blinds, and the entire infrastructure of the curtains comes crashing down. We fist it out all the way to the living room, grunting, punishing one another as if this were a blood sport where one of us had to die—only one of us is already dead, and that one is me.
“Just fucking tell her,” he bellows it into my left ear, and I can’t hear shit out of that side now.
My fingers dig into his shoulders as I bash him into the glass slider, over and over, until the panel cracks clear down the middle. The door slips open, and I toss his sorry ass outside. I knock him back until he falls onto the lawn and offer a swift kick to his ribcage.
“I’m not telling her shit!” I kick him again, and he yanks me down by the ankle. “You wouldn’t understand because nothing ever goes wrong for you. When you fall in love, the entire universe bows down to make sure sweet baby Gage gets exactly what his little heart desires.” I take in a quivering breath because the tears are right there, I can feel them. “You should’ve been with Chloe!” It rips from my lungs like a siren into the virginal night.
Gage slugs me in the stomach for even hinting at the idea.
“Skyla’s been mine from the beginning.” He pummels his fist into my gut. “I’ve got visions stacked to the fucking moon, so you can suck my dick.” He yanks me in by the shirt, the whites of his eyes glow like flames. “She was never yours to begin with.”
Every muscle in my body goes rigid because on some level what he’s saying must be true, and, yet, I’m still too much of a moron to believe it.
“She’s mine.” I meant to say it with just as much ferocity, but it comes out barely a whisper as if my vocal cords didn’t want any part of the lie.
Gage bunches my shirt up and pulls me in even closer. The blue wash of moonlight exposes a seam of blood dripping from his lip, and it makes me feel like crap knowing I did that to him.
“I can take you to her right now, Logan,” he pants the words right over my mouth. “I’ll stop beating the shit out of you. We’ll clean you up, and you can wrap your arms around one another and not let go until you’re ripped from this planet.” He closes his eyes a moment as if he were in pain. “Do this for her, please. I know she’d want me to beg you. If she knew how this was going down, she’d want to see you. She loves you, dude. She’s fucking head over heels, so don’t hold her under the water like this. You’re going to kill her.” His Adam’s apple rises and falls. “She’ll be an empty sh
ell. You’re going to take her with you. She’ll be stuck on this planet in misery because she never got a proper goodbye.”
I lay my head back in the dew-covered grass and stare up at the stars veiled with Paragon’s signature fog. He’s right, I’m wrong, and I still can’t see myself slitting her existence in half with the knife of grief. There’s no way I’m inflicting an ounce of pain on her one last time.
“I don’t want to say anything to her.” I get up and start heading toward the house.
“You don’t want to say anything because you’re a fucking pussy,” Gage roars it out like a lion before tackling me to the ground.
We go at it again. Second verse same as the first.
Fists fly. Blood trickles down his face in a thick, black river.
“Stop!” A girl’s voice shrills it out like the serrated edge of a saw, cutting right through this world and into the next.
Gage and I stop long enough to look up. And there she is—Skyla in all her ethereal glory. The moon glows through her hair. The stars spray out behind her as if they were venerating her beauty.
Gage gets up and pulls me to my feet.
Swear to God, I think he cracked a rib.
“I’d better go.” I stumble past her. I can’t look her in the eye because Gage worked me up so damn much I might cry like a pussy until I officially receive an eviction from the planet. This wasn’t near enough time to love Skyla, not how I wanted to—how I wish to God I still could.
“Not so fast.” She pulls me in and lands her gentle gaze over my features. I’m sure I look like shit rolled in blood and dirt—wearing my broken heart on my sleeve. “What happened?”
I glance over to Gage because the whole fucking universe knows he’s ready and willing to spill it like a seventh grade girl.
“Nothing that concerns you,” I belt it out, looking right at my nephew with a threat locked in my eyes. This isn’t how I want it to happen. Not like this with both Gage and I bloodied and broken, neither one of us fit to properly help her through the aftermath.