CHAPTER XXXVIII.
AN INLAND RUN.
"Won'erful well, 'e doed it, sir. If ever I gets into Queer Street, yoube the one to get me out."
This well-merited compliment was addressed by Dick Herniman to AttorneyBlickson, at a convivial gathering held that same afternoon, tocelebrate the above recorded triumph of Astraea. The festal party hadbeen convoked at the Wheatsheaf Tavern in Perliton Square, and had takenthe best room in the house, looking out of two windows upon that nobleparallelogram, which Perliton never failed to bring with it, orally,when it condescended to visit Perlycross. The party had no idea of beingtoo abstemious, the object of its existence being the promotion, as wellas the assertion, of the liberty of the subject.
Six individuals were combining for this lofty purpose, to wit the twogentlemen so unjustly charged, and their shrewd ally of high artisticstanding, that very able lawyer who had vindicated right; also CaptainTimberlegs, and Horatio Peckover, Esquire; and pleasant it is as well asstrange to add, Master Joseph Crang of Susscot, blacksmith, farrier, andengineer. For now little differences of opinion, charges of perjury andbody-snatching, assault and battery, and general malfeasance, were sunkin the large liberality of success, the plenitude of John Barleycorn,and the congeniality of cordials.
That a stripling like the Hopper should be present was a proof of somefailure of discretion upon his part, for which he atoned by a tremendousimposition; while the prudent Pike, and the modest Mopuss, had refusedwith short gratitude this banquet, and gone home. But the Hopperregarded himself as a witness--although he had not been called upon--inright of his researches at Blackmarsh, and declared that officially hemust hear the matter out, for an explanation had been promised. Thegreater marvel was perhaps that Joe Crang should be there, after all thelash of tongue inflicted on him. But when their Worships were out ofsight, Blickson had taken him by the hand, in a truly handsome manner,and assured him of the deep respect he felt, and ardent admiration, athis too transparent truthfulness. Joe Crang, whose heart was very sore,had shed a tear at this touching tribute, and was fain to admit, whenthe lawyer put it so, that he was compelled in his own art to strike thefinest metal the hardest.
So now all six were in very sweet accord, having dined well, and nowrefining the firmer substances into the genial flow. Attorney Blicksonwas in the chair, for which nature had well qualified him; and perhapsin the present more ethereal age, he might have presided in a"syndicate" producing bubbles of gold and purple, subsiding into a bluertone.
For this was a man of quick natural parts, and gifted in many ways forhis profession. Every one said that he should have been a Barrister; forhis character would not have mattered so much, when he went from onetown to another, and above all to such a place as London, where theythink but little of it. If he could only stay sober, and avoidpromiscuous company, and make up his mind to keep his hand out of quietpeople's pockets, and do a few other respectable things, there was noearthly reason that any one could see, why he should not achieve fiftyguineas a day, and even be a match for Mopuss K. C., the father of Mr.Penniloe's fattest pupil.
"This honourable company has a duty now before it;" Mr. Blickson drewattention by rapping on the table, and then leaning back in his chair,with a long pipe rested on a bowl of punch, or rather nothing but apunch-bowl now. On his right hand sat Herniman, the giver of thefeast--or the lender at least, till prize-money came to fist--and on theother side was Tremlett, held down by heavy nature from the higherflights of Bacchus, because no bowl was big enough to make him drunk;"yes, a duty, gentlemen, which I, as the representative of Law cannotsee neglected. We have all enjoyed one another's 'good health,' in theway in which it concerns us most; we have also promoted, by suchprayers, the weal of the good Squire Mockham, and that of anothergentleman, who presented himself as _Amicus curiae_--gentlemen, excuse asample of my native tongue--a little prematurely perhaps last night, andleft us to sigh for him vainly to-day. I refer to the gentleman, withwhom another, happily now present, and the soul of our party, andrejoicing equally in the Scriptural name of James, was identified in anearly stage of this still mysterious history, by one of the mostconscientious, truthful and self-possessed of all witnesses, I have everhad the honour yet of handling in the box. At least he was not in thebox, because there was none; but he fully deserves to be kept in a box.I am sorry to see you smile--at my prolixity I fear; therefore I willrelieve you of it. Action is always more urgent than words. Duty demandsthat we should have this bowl refilled. Pleasure, which is the fairersex of duty, as every noble sailor knows too well, awaits us next in oneof her most tempting forms, as an ancient Poet has observed. If it issweet to witness from the shore the travail of another, how much sweeterto have his trials brought before us over the flowing bowl, while werejoice in his success and share it. Gentlemen, I call upon CaptainRichard Herniman for his promised narrative of that great expedition,which by some confusion of the public mind has become connected with adarker enterprise. Captain Richard Herniman to the fore!"
"Bain't no Cappen, and han't got no big words," said Timber-leg'd Dick,getting up with a rattle, and standing very staunchly; "but can't refusethis here gentleman, under the circumstances. And every word as I sayswill be true."
After this left-handed compliment, received with a cheer in which thelawyer joined, the ancient salt premised that among good friends, herelied on honour bright, that there should be no dirty turn. To this allpledged themselves most freely; and he trusting rather in his ownreservations than their pledge, that no harm should ever come of it,shortly told his story, which in substance was as follows. But somenames which he omitted have been filled in, now that all fear of enquiryis over.
In the previous September, when the nights were growing long, asuccessful run across the Channel had been followed by a peaceful, andwell-conducted, landing at a lonely spot on the Devonshire coast, wherethat pretty stream the Otter flows into the sea. That part of the shorewas very slackly guarded then; and none of the authorities got scent,while scent was hot, of this cordial international transaction. Some ofthese genuine wares found a home promptly and pleasantly in theneighbourhood, among farmers, tradesmen, squires, and others, includingeven some loyal rectors, and zealous Justices of the Peace, orperadventure their wives and daughters capable of minding their ownkeys. Some, after dwelling in caves, or furze-ricks, barns,potato-buries, or hollow trees, went inland, or to Sidmouth, or Seaton,or anywhere else where a good tax-payer had plastered up his windows, orput "Dairy" on the top of them.
But the prime of the cargo, and the very choicest goods, such as fineCognac, rich silk and rare lace, too good for pedlars, and too dear forCountry parsons still remained stored away very snugly, in some old drycellars beneath the courtyard of a ruined house at Budleigh; wherenobody cared to go poking about, because the old gentleman who livedthere once had been murdered nearly thirty years ago, for informingagainst smugglers, and was believed to be in the habit of walking therenow. These shrewd men perceived how just it was that he should standguard in the spirit over that which in the flesh he had betrayed,especially as his treason had been caused by dissatisfaction with hisshare in a very fine contraband venture. Much was now committed to hisposthumous sense of honour; for the free-traders vowed that they couldmake a thousand pounds of these choice wares in any wealthy town, likeBath, or Bristol, or even Weymouth, then more fashionable than it isnow.
But suddenly their bright hopes were dashed. Instead of reflecting onthe value of these goods, they were forced to take hasty measures fortheir safety. A very bustling man, of a strange suspicious turn, as dryas a mull of snuff, and as rough as a nutmeg-grater; in a word aScotchman out of sympathy with the natives, was appointed to the stationat Sidmouth, and before he unpacked his clothes began to rout about,like a dog who has been trained to hunt for morels. Very soon he cameacross some elegant French work, in cottages, or fishers' huts, or onthe necks of milkmaids; and nothing would content him until he haddiscovered, even by such deep intriguery as the distribution oflo
llipops, the history of the recent enterprise.
"Let bygones be bygones," would have been the Christian sentiment of anynew-comer at all connected with the district; and Sandy MacSpudder musthave known quite well, that his curiosity was in the worst of taste, andthe result too likely to cast discredit on his own predecessor, who wasthreatening to leave the world just then, with a large family unprovidedfor. Yet such was this Scotchman's pertinacity and push, that even thelittle quiet village of Budleigh, which has nothing to do but to listento its own brook prattling to the gently smiling valley, even thisrose-fringed couch of peace was ripped up by the slashing of this rudeLieutenant's cutlass. A spectre, even of the best Devonian antecedents,was of less account than a scare-crow to this matter-of-fact Lowlander."A' can smell a rat in that ghostie," was his profane conclusion.
This put the spirited free-traders on their mettle. Fifty years ago,that Scotch interloper would have learned the restful qualities of agreener sod than his. But it is of interest to observe how the Englishnature softened, when the martial age had lapsed. It scarcely occurredto this gentler generation, that a bullet from behind a rock would sendthis spry enquirer to solve larger questions on his own account. Savagebrutality had less example now.
The only thing therefore was to over-reach this man. He was watching allthe roads along the coast, to east and west; but to guard all thetangles of the inward roads, and the blessed complexity of Devonshirelanes would have needed an army of pure natives. Whereas this busyforeigner placed no faith in any man born in that part of theworld--such was his judgment--and had called for a draft of fellowshaving different vowels.
This being so, it served him right to be largely out-witted by thethick-heads he despised. And he had made such a fuss about it, athead-quarters, and promised such wonders if the case were left to him,that when he captured nothing but a string of worn-out kegs filled withdiluted sheep-wash, he not only suffered for a week from gastrictroubles--through his noseless hurry to identify Cognac--but alsoreceived a stinging reprimand, and an order for removal to a very ruggedcoast, where he might be more at home with the language and the manners.And his predecessor's son obtained that sunny situation. Thus is zealrewarded always, when it does not win the seal.
None will be surprised to hear that the simple yet masterly stratagem,by means of which the fair western county vindicated its commercialrights against northern arrogance and ignoble arts, was the invention ofa British Tar, an old Agamemnon, a true heart of oak, re-membered alsoin the same fine material. The lessons of Nelson had not been thrownaway; this humble follower of that great hero first mis-led theadversary, and then broke his line. Invested as he was by superiorforces seeking access even to his arsenal, he despatched to the eastwarda lumbering craft, better known to landsmen as a waggon, heavily ladenwith straw newly threshed, under which was stowed a tier of ancientkegs, which had undergone too many sinkings in the sea (when a landingproved unsafe) to be trusted any more with fine contents. Therefore theynow contained sheep-wash, diluted from the brook to the complexion ofold brandy. In the loading of this waggon special mystery was observed,which did not escape the vigilance of the keen lieutenant's watchmen.With a pair of good farm-horses, and a farm-lad on the ridge of theload, and a heavy fellow whistling not too loudly on the lade-rail, thisharmless car of fictitious Bacchus, crowned by effete Ceres, wended itsrustic way towards the lowest bridge of Otter, a classic and idyllicstream. These two men, of pastoral strain and richest breadth oflanguage, carried orders of a simplicity almost equal to their own.
No sooner was this waggon lost to sight and hearing in the thick Octobernight, and the spies sped away by the short cuts to report it, than along light cart, with a strong out-stepping horse, came down the woodedvalley to the ghostly court. In half an hour, it was packed, and startedinland, passing the birthplace of a very great man, straight away toFarringdon and Rockbear, with orders to put up at Clist Hidon beforedaylight, where lived a farmer who would harbour them securely. On thefollowing night they were to make their way, after shunning Cullompton,to the shelter in Blackmarsh, where they would be safe from allintrusion, and might await fresh instructions, which would take themprobably towards Bridgwater, and Bristol. By friendly ministrations ofthe Whetstone men, who had some experience in trade of this description,all this was managed with the best success; Jem Kettel knew the countryroads, by dark as well as daylight, and Harvey Tremlett was not a man tobe collared very easily. In fact, without that sad mishap to their verywilling and active nag, they might have fared through Perlycross, asthey had through other villages, where people wooed the early pillow,without a trace or dream of any secret treasure passing.
Meanwhile at Sidmouth the clever Scotchman was enjoying his ownacuteness. He allowed that slowly rolling waggon of the Eleusine dame toproceed some miles upon its course, before his men stood at the horses'heads. There was wisdom in this, as well as pleasure--the joy a catprolongs with mouse--inasmuch as all these good things were approachinghis own den of spoil. When the Scotchmen challenged the Devonshireswains, with flourish of iron, and of language even harder, aninterpreter was sorely needed. Not a word could the Northmen understandthat came from the broad soft Southron tongues; while the Devonshire menfeigning, as they were bidden, to take them for highwaymen, feigned alsonot to know a syllable of what they said.
This led, as it was meant to do, to very lavish waste of time, andincrement of trouble. The carters instead of lending hand for theunloading of their waggon, sadly delayed that operation, by shouting out"thaves!" at the top of their voice, tickling their horses into a wildstart now and then, and rolling the Preventive men off at the tail.MacSpudder himself had a narrow escape; for just when he chanced to bebetween two wheels, both of them set off, without a word of notice; andif he had possessed at all a western body, it would have been run over.Being made of corkscrew metal by hereditary right, he wriggled out assound as ever; and looked forward all the more to the solace underlyingthis reluctant pile, as dry as any of his own components.
Nothing but his own grunts can properly express the fattening of hisself-esteem (the whole of which was home-fed) when his men, without afork--for the Boreal mind had never thought of that--but with a greatmany chops of knuckles (for the skin of straw is tougher than aScotchman's) found their way at midnight, like a puzzled troop ofdivers, into the reef at bottom of the sheefy billows. Their throatswere in a husky state, from chaff too penetrative, and barn-dust overvolatile, and they risked their pulmonary weal, by opening a toosanguine cheer.
"Duty compels us to test the staple;" the Officer in command decreed;and many mouths gaped round the glow of his bullseye. "Don't 'ee titchnone of that their wassh!" The benevolent Devonians exclaimed in vain.Want of faith prevailed; every man suspected the verdict of hispredecessor, and even his own at first swallow. If timber-leg'd Dickcould have timed the issue, what a landing he might have made! For theCoast-guard tested staple so that twenty miles of coast were left freefor fifty hours.
Having told these things in his gravest manner, Herniman, who so wellcombined the arts of peace and war, filled another pipe, and was open toenquiry. Everybody accepted his narrative with pleasure, and heartilywished him another such a chance of directing fair merchandise along thelanes of luck. The blacksmith alone had some qualms of conscience, forapparent back-slidings from the true faith of free-trade. But theyclapped him on the back, and he promised with a gulp, that he neverwould peep into a Liberal Van again.
"There is one thing not quite clear to me;" said the Hopper, when theman of iron was settled below the table, whereas the youth had kepthimself in trim for steeple-chasing. "What could our friend have seen inthat vehicle of free-trade, to make him give that horrible account ofits contents? And again, why did Mr. Harvey Tremlett carry off that toolof his, which I found in the water?"
With a wave of his hand--for his tongue had now lost, by one of nature'sfinest arrangements, the exuberance of the morning, whereas a man ofsober silence would now have gushed into bright eloquence--the
chairmandeputed to Herniman, and Tremlett, the honour of replying to theHopper.
"You see, sir," said the former, "it was just like this. We was hurriedso in stowing cargo, that some of the finest laces in the world, such asthey call _Valentines_, worth maybe fifty or a hundred pounds a yard,was shot into the hold anyhow, among a lot of silks and so on. Harvey,and Jemmy, was on honour to deliver goods as they received them;blacksmith seed some of this lace a'flappin' under black tarporly; andhe knowed as your poor Squire had been figged out for 's last voyagewith same sort of stuff, only not so good. A clever old 'ooman makethsome, to Perlycrass; Honiton lace they calls it here. What could a'think but that Squire was there? Reckon, Master Crang would a' told 'ethis, if so be a' hadn't had a little drap too much."
"Thou bee'st a liar. Han't had half enough, I tell 'e." The blacksmithfrom under the table replied, and then rolled away into a bellowsful ofsnores.
"To be sure!" said Peckover. "I see now. Tamsin Tamlin's work it was.Sergeant Jakes told me all about it. With all the talk there had been ofrobbing graves, and two men keeping in the dark so, no wonder Crangthought what he did. Many people went to see that lace, I heard; andthey said it was too good to go underground; though nothing could be toogood for the Squire. Well now, about that other thing--why did Mr.Tremlett make off with _little Billy_?"
"Can't tell 'e, sir, very much about 'un;" the wrestler answered, with alaugh at the boy's examination. "Happen I tuk 'un up, a'veelin' of 'un,to frighten blacksmith maybe; and then I vancied a' maight come handylike, if nag's foot went wrong again. Then when nag gooed on all right,I just chucked 'un into a pool of watter, for to kape 'un out o' sightof twisty volk. Ort more to zatisfy this yung gent?"
"Yes. I am a twisty folk, I suppose. Unless there is any objection, Ishould like very much to know why Dr. Fox was sent on that fool's errandto the pits."
"Oh, I can tell 'e that, sir," replied Jem Kettel, for the spirit of thelad, and his interest in their doings, had made him a favourite withthe present company. "It were one of my mates as took too much trouble.He were appointed to meet us at the cornder of the four roads, an hourafore that or more; and he got in a bit of a skear, it seems not knowingwhy we was so behindhand. But he knowed Dr. Vox, and thought 'un betterout o' way, being such a sharp chap, and likely to turn meddlesome. Hedidn't want 'un to hang about up street, as a' maight with some sick'ooman, and so he zent un' t'other road, to tend a little haxident.Wouldn't do he no harm, a' thought, and might zave us some bother. But,Lord! if us could have only knowed the toorn your volk would putt on it,I reckon us should have roared and roared, all droo the strates ofPerlycrass. Vainest joke as ever coom to my hearin', or ever wull,however long the Lord kapeth me a'livin'. And to think of Jem Kettelbeing sworn to for a learned Doctor! Never had no teethache I han't,since the day I heered on it." A hearty laugh was held to be a sovereigncure for toothache then, and perhaps would be so still, if the patientcould accomplish it.
"Well, so far as that goes, you have certainly got the laugh of us;"Master Peckover admitted, not forgetting that he himself came in for asmuch as any one. "But come now, as you are so sharp, just give me yourgood opinion. And you being all along the roads that night, ought tohave seen something. Who were the real people in that horrid business?"
"The Lord in heaven knoweth, sir;" said Tremlett very solemnly. "Uspassed in front of Perlycrass church, about dree o'clock of the morning.Nort were doing then, or us could scarcely have helped hearing of it.Even if 'em heered our wheels, and so got out of sight, I reckon, usmust a' seed the earth-heap, though moon were gone a good bit aforethat. And zim'th there waz no harse there. A harse will sing out a'mostalways to another harse at night, when a' heareth of him coming, and a'standeth lonely. Us coom athert ne'er chick nor cheeld from Perlycrassto Blackmarsh. As to us and Clam-pit volk, zoonder would us goo togallows than have ort to say to grave-work. And gallows be too good for'un, accardin' my opinion. But gen'lemen, afore us parts, I wants todrink the good health of the best man I've a knowed on airth. Bain'tsaying much perhaps, for my ways hath been crooked like. But maketh anykearless chap belave in good above 'un, when a hap'th acrass a man asthinketh nort of his own zell, but gi'eth his life to other volk. Godbless Passon Penniloe!"