Night was arbitrary on Perpetual Twilight, since the planet didn’t rotate. Perpetual Twilight didn’t have time zones. When it was arbitrarily ‘night’, it was nighttime everywhere on the planet.
Jeff answered his home phone with a groggy, “Jeff here.”
“Hey Jeff, it’s Dean.”
“Don’t you casino guys ever sleep?”
“Sorry to wake you, but I’m up to my ass in Maddox Maimers, here,” said Dean.
“I suppose they’ll be in Philville next,” replied Jeff.
“I need that woman from the crew of the Maimer spaceship. I heard she’s living in Philville somewhere.”
“Marcie.”
“Right. I knew that.”
“Ah huh. I’d be surprised if you knew YOUR name, working with Todd.”
“It’s not that bad. The casino office actually aired out completely for a whole half hour a couple of years ago.”
Jeff didn’t answer right away. Dean heard Jeff and a woman talking.
Finally, a woman’s voice said, “This is Marcie. Who’s this?”
“I’m Dean, assistant manager of the Lucky Lady Casino, in River City. Sorry to bother you. I didn’t know you were with Jeff.”
“No big deal,” said Marcie. “Jeff’s wife is shagging some guy named Sal in Yellowtown, so we’re not being abnormally discrete or anything.”
“I’ve got a Maddox Maimer problem, here. There was a bombing at my casino. We think a Maimer named Dooley did it.”
“Dooley is a creepy pervert. He was always starting fires on the spaceship. I’m not surprised he’s a bomber.”
“There’s also a lesbian couple and a stoner dude who offered to help catch Dooley,” said Dean. “They claim to be moderate Maimers.”
“That sounds like Jade, Lucy, and Randy.”
“Right. Are they trustworthy?”
“Sure,” said Marcie, “they’re ok. Their gang has a rift, moderates against the hard-core Maimers. Lucy is the leader of the moderates.”
“I need you here like yesterday,” said Dean. “Will you come to River City?”
“Wait one.”
Dean heard Jeff and Marcie talking some more.
Jeff came on the line and said, “What exactly are you proposing regarding Marcie?”
“I want to hire Marcie as a security consultant for the casino,” said Dean. “It’ll be good pay and full per diem.”
#@#@#@#@
Jade went with Flo to Flo’s hotel room.
Flo said, “This talk about another bomb scares me.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll guard you,” said Jade.
Jade drew her gun and accidently shot one of the beds.
“I feel safer already,” said Flo.
#@#@#@#@
Todd, Lucy, and Randy met with fireman Dan. Todd introduced Lucy and Randy as members of his casino security force.
Dan said, “The bomb exploded in an OTB.”
“You mean an off track betting facility for guys who like the ponies?” asked Lucy.
“Right,” said Dan.
“The Taylorburg track had a sweepstakes race yesterday,” said Todd. “There was lot’s of betting action yesterday.”
Dan nodded and said, “The manager said they had a good day.”
“What blew up?” asked Randy.
“The safe,” said Dan. “It was no vault by any means, but it was a pretty good safe. The bomber cracked it with surgical precision. Whoever did this knew exactly how to open a safe with explosives.”
#@#@#@#@
Inside the diner, a young firewoman said, “I’m Suzie. Dan radioed you were coming.”
Todd introduced Lucy and Randy.
“The stoners are over there,” said Suzie, pointing at 2 guys and a woman in a booth by the window.
Then, Suzie pointed to another woman and said, “That’s the manager of the OTB.”
The OTB manager was sitting as far away from the stoners as possible.
#@#@#@#@
Connie the OTB manager said, “I can’t believe the bastard stole my Manolo pumps. They were special order from Earth. Took years to arrive, costed big bucks.”
“The bomber is a foot fetishist,” said Randy.
“He takes shoes for trophies,” said Lucy. “Something like a pair of Manolos would be a prize trophy for him.”
“Why did you keep your expensive shoes in the OTB?” asked Todd.
“Obviously you’ve never walked the boardwalk in heels,” said Connie.
#@#@#@#@
Lucy and Suzie talked near the restrooms.
“Do you know the bomber?” asked Suzie.
Lucy nodded and said, “Randy and I knew him on Earth.”
“I don’t suppose you know where we can find him.”
“As a matter of fact, we do. We know where he works.”
“Well let’s go arrest his ass,” said Suzie.
“We’re working on a plan for that. Are you willing to help?”
“Damn straight. I’d love to help arrest this creep.”
“That’s good,” said Lucy. “We’ve got a special role for you.”
“What?”
“How do you feel about wearing pink toenail polish?”
#@#@#@#@
Todd and Randy interviewed the stoners.
Todd said to Fred, “So we meet again.”
Fred said, “Hey casino guy. Thanks for the weed.”
“That red shit is awesome,” said Alice.
“My purple weed is better,” said Randy.
“No way,” said Alice.
Randy quickly lit and circulated a couple of purple numbers. A smoky haze hung over the booth. Eventually, the story about the explosion came out.
Alice said, “Two guys came running out of the bomb smoke. One guy was like a wrestler, big and muscular. He carried 2 heavy bags, which I assume were full of money.”
Fred said, “The other guy was very short and he carried a pair of high heel shoes, one in each hand.”
“You’re sure he was carrying high heels?” asked Todd.
Fred nodded and said, “Yes, I’m sure. When he went by the window, he brought one shoe up to his nose and sniffed inside.”
“That’s what happened,” said the cook, “I saw it too. The guy was definitely sniffing a woman’s high heel shoe.”
“Anything else?” asked Todd.
“The short guy was also freakishly thin,” said Alice.
“He’s on the heroin diet plan,” said Randy.
#@#@#@#@
Randy reached in his backpack and pulled out several quarter ounce bags of purple weed. He gave a bag each to Fred, Alice, and the cook.
Fred plopped his bigger bag of red next to Randy’s offering and said, “Casino guy gave me twice as much red.”
Randy distributed another quarter ounce bag to Fred, Alice, and the cook. Then when Todd signaled with a come-on gesture, Randy also tossed a bag in Todd’s direction.
“You guys are killing me,” said Randy.
“I’ve got you covered,” said Todd, as he tossed a couple of high domination casino chips in Randy’s direction.
Then when Fred, Alice, and the cook signaled with a come-on gesture, Todd tossed 2 chips to them, also.
“Don’t spend it all in one place,” said Todd, a little casino humor there.
Todd knew the chips could only be used in his Lucky Lady Casino, so the chips would actually be spent all in one place, for sure.
#@#@#@#@
Fred was amazed he could sleep after so much weed intake. There were no dreams, not even a moment of REM sleep.
Fred woke up hungry and still partially high. After finishing the half smoked number he found in the ash tray, Fred wandered downstairs.
Fred wasn’t much of a gambler. He went to the casino cashier and converted his 4 high denomination chips to a casino debit card the cashier loaded. The debit card was good everywhere in River City and most places elsewhere on the planet.
#@#@#@#@
r /> Fred was eating the lunch special at a sleazy stripper bar named the ‘Pink Toenail’. The waitress already swiped Fred’s casino debit card once and she noticed the card’s sizable balance printed on the receipt.
Armed with the waitress’s tip that the guy eating the lunch special had a fat balance on a casino debit card, dancer Delilah approached Fred.
“Can I sit with you?” asked Delilah.
“If you don’t mind watching me eat,” said Fred.
“I like watching guys eat,” said Delilah, as she sat next to Fred.
“Hi, I’m Fred.”
“I’m Delilah. Would you mind donating to the jukebox fund?”
Strippers had to pay the jukebox to play the songs they wanted to dance to. Asking for jukebox money was a standard opener for strippers cruising the tables.
Fred produced a 10 buck note. Delilah made it disappear.
#@#@#@#@
Fred said, “I witnessed a bombing at an OTB last night.”
“Oh?” said Delilah. “Do you like the ponies?”
“I’d love to try riding a horse,” replied Fred.
“Well, lucky you. I’ve got horse rides for sale.”
“Where are the horse rides?”
“Here,” said Delilah.
“Is your stable nearby?”
“Sure honey. How about you buy us each a horse ride and we’ll go to my stable.”
“Ok.”
Fred produced his casino debit card. Delilah used a portable card reader to make the card’s balance disappear.
#@#@#@#@
The bar tables had long draping tablecloths. Delilah was under the table. For a moment, Fred didn’t understand what she was doing under there, then he quickly ran Delilah’s conversation back through his brain.
Fred was wearing shorts and sandals. Delilah wrapped a rubber hose around Fred’s ankle and synched it up tight. Fred felt a pinch between his toes, then Delilah released the rubber hose.
#@#@#@#@
A fire raced up Fred’s leg and spread everywhere.
Delilah said, “Come on, dude, you can’t nod off here.”
Delilah helped Fred to his feet and propelled him towards the back door.
#@#@#@#@
Barefoot firewoman Suzie wore pink shorts and a pink halter top. Her toenails glistened with freshly applied pink polish.
Dooley said, “You’re lookin’ mighty fine, babe.”
“Are you hiring dancers?” asked Suzie.
“Always. Let me check you out.”
Dooley hung down his head and stared at Suzie’s bare feet. A tear dribbled down his cheek.
That was the signal to execute the search warrant. A law enforcement task force descended on the Pink Toenail Bar & Grill.
#@#@#@#@
Fred and Delilah slipped through the posse charging towards the back door. Delilah brought Fred to a nearby off-boardwalk apartment.
Delilah stripped Fred and threw him on the bed. Fred landed on a hard object. He picked it up and found it to be a woman’s high heel shoe. ‘Manolo’ was printed the shoe’s sole. Fred tossed the Manolo on the floor.
Delilah finished stripping and joined Fred in the bed.
“You’re beautiful,” said Fred.
“And talented,” said Delilah, feeling her horse, big time.
Delilah launched a skillful sexual assault. Superman Fred was up for the duration of Delilah’s delightful antics. Delilah rode Fred hard and put him away wet.
#@#@#@#@
Dooley had a sixth sense for trouble. He pushed Suzie down and sprinted through the front door of the stripper bar.
#@#@#@#@
The law enforcement posse locked the Pink Toenail down tight. No Dooley, no significant money, and no Manolo shoes.
In the front bouncer cubicle, Lucy found Dooley’s escape hatch. Several doubted Dooley escaped via that tiny hole. Petite Suzie tried to squeeze through, but she was too well endowed to pull her chest through without serious scraping.
Somebody brought a crowbar. They worked on enlarging Dooley’s escape hatch.
#@#@#@#@
Dooley entered the apartment and made a beeline for his precious Manolo shoes. Dooley stopped short when he found sweaty Delilah and equally sweaty Fred nodding off on the bed.
Dooley woke up Delilah and said, “Who’s this turd?”
“Just some john,” said Delilah.
Naked Delilah helped Dooley drag naked Fred out of the apartment. Fred quickly nodded off again in the hall.
#@#@#@#@
Delilah came out with Fred’s clothes. This time, she was wearing a robe.
Fred woke to Delilah slapping his cheek.
“What?” said Fred.
“Time to go,” said Delilah.
Delilah helped Fred dress, then pushed him down the hall. Fred exited the apartment building, then somehow found the boardwalk.
#@#@#@#@
Dan and Todd watched the stripper bar surveillance video.
Dan said, “Look, there’s your boy, the stoner writer.”
“I’m not sure he was a stoner before I gave him pot,” said Todd.
“You’re a bad influence, dude.”
“Everybody tells me that.”
#@#@#@#@
Fred was nodding off in his hotel room bathtub when a commotion in the bathroom woke him up. Fred opened his eyes and witnessed a semicircle of law enforcement officers pointing guns towards the bathtub.
#@#@#@#@
Suzie checked Fred’s eyes and pronounced, “He’s riding his horse.”
Fred said, “I saw a Manolo shoe. I thought it was a big coincidence, since that OTB lady was moaning about losing a pair of Manolos last night.”
“Where was the shoe?” asked Randy.
“Delilah’s apartment,” said Fred.
“Who’s Delilah?” asked Dan.
“Dancer and hooker,” said Fred.
“Tell us about the shoe,” said Lucy.
“The Manolo was on the bed. I threw it on the floor.”
Everybody in the room imagined Dooley in bed with a Manolo pump. It was a disgusting image.
#@#@#@#@
Amazingly, Fred was able to retrace his steps back to Delilah’s apartment. There were some missteps, however.
At one point Todd said, “I can’t believe our best lead is a writer who graduated to smack on his second day of doing drugs.”
“I wonder how his book is coming,” said Dan.
Todd shrugged and said, “If he’s got writer’s block after all of this, he’s a shitty writer.”
#@#@#@#@
They broke open the apartment door. Delilah was laying on the bed, breathing shallowly. Suzie checked Delilah’s vitals, then immediately called an ambulance.
Dooley and the Manolos were gone. An exhaustive search of the apartment would eventually uncover the fleece lining from Flo’s flight jacket, with one pocket containing the turkey baster and the other pocket containing a pair of Flo’s shoes. There were also other shoes that would eventually be linked to old unsolved bombing crimes on Earth.
Dooley’s trophies were bagged, tagged, and confiscated as evidence.
#@#@#@#@
When Jeff asked Sheila to shuttle Marcie and him to River City, Sheila called Jane and they both brought their husbands. Thus, when Flo went to the chapel for her father’s wedding, Flo found herself surrounded by several of her Philville neighbors.
“I thought this was just a family thing,” said Flo.
“Sorry about crashing the wedding,” said Jane.
“Mike is an old flame for both of us,” said Sheila. “We just had to see him get married again.”
“How come dad didn’t marry one of you?” asked Flo.
“It’s a long story,” said Jane.
“I’d love to hear it,” said Flo.
Sheila said, “Well, let me tell you, Mike was going to choose me, for sure, but …”
Jane interrupted with, “Mike was first and always my boyfriend. We p
layed doctor when we were children on a spaceship.”
The story was indeed long, but Flo didn’t mind. Flo preferred talking with Jane and Sheila instead of talking with future mother-in-law Mona.
#@#@#@#@
They were going to dispense with the ‘best man’ and ‘maid of honor’, but when the surprise guests showed up, Mike asked Jake to be his best man. Jake was Jane’s husband. The story of how Jake married Jane was part of the same story of Mike not marrying Jane nor Sheila in the first place.
Mona was suddenly in dire need of a maid of honor. Unfortunately, Mona wasn’t exactly swamped with offers from the other wedding attendees, who were all Mike’s friends and relatives, except for Mona’s mother and 2 guys in suits nobody knew.
Jade said she always wanted to be somebody’s maid of honor. Mona happily accepted Jade’s offer. Mona and Jade hugged and were soon yakking like old girlfriends.
#@#@#@#@
Mona was wearing a white dress, with a mid-calf hemline. She wore open toe white shoes, with a modest 2 inch heel.
The wedding party lined up, Jake, Mike, Mona, Jade. A lay preacher began uttering a pseudo-religious monolog about the sanctity of marriage.
Suddenly, Dooley ran in and started kissing Mona’s toes. Mona tried to wriggle free.
During the ensuing chaos, the 2 guys in suits grabbed Mike and Jake.
One suit said, “Jake and Mike, you’re under arrest for election fraud on Earth.”
Jade drew her Glock and sprayed bullets everywhere. Only the preacher was hit.
#@#@#@#@
As Jade paused to reload a new clip, she surveyed the room. Enigma Dooley was once again gone. Everybody else was hiding behind something or cowering on the floor. Jade jacked a shell into the chamber. Nobody dared move.
Jade said, “You guys in the suits, stay down, or I swear I won’t miss next time.”
Mike, Jake, and the wedding guests subdued the suits. Dean called for casino security, but there was no need to call, they were already on the way, responding to the gunshots.