Chapter 3:
As I moved into the darkness, the torch illuminated what I was unable to see before. The sides of the cave were very jagged. There were many alcoves and crevices. The danger of what may reside in any of those crevices or alcoves became very real in my mind. The light fluttered and I realized that my hands were shaking. Anything that had eyes would be able to see this light, which put me in even more danger. I shook the thought from my mind and pushed myself forward, my flip flops making me clumsy on the jagged rocky floor. The blood from the river above dripped on me every few feet. I could feel it, running down my scraped up skin. I laughed to myself, thinking that even if I found Andrew and made it home that I might still die from some disease in the blood that trickled down on me now. My laugh echoed through the tunnel and sent a shiver up my spine. I made a mental note that I would need to be much quieter and much more careful.
As I walked my mind wandered. I thought of the weeks leading up to where I was now. I realized that all of the moments that I may have found unpleasant would be moments I would kill for now. I remembered feeling put out when Andrew had ignored me while playing his video games a few days ago. I remember feeling neglected on nights we laid in bed and he was reading instead of cuddling up to me. Now it has become apparent that all of those things are extremely petty and if given the chance to go back, I would treasure every second. We do not get to go back though. Life does not give us a rewind button.
All of the sudden a strange noise pulled me back to the here and now. I could hear shuffling from further up the tunnel. I couldn’t tell how far away whatever the noise was coming from was. A vision of a lackel appeared in my mind. I was paralyzed with fear. I kept trying to make my limbs move, but they would not cooperate. The noise moved closer. I had to get the machete ready. I had to try to hide if possible. I knew that the light would be a dead giveaway, but also knew that with no light I would be blind to my enemies. I found a large crevice in the wall and wedged the torch in. I sat my knapsack on the floor of the tunnel and unstrapped the machete from my back. I pulled the machete out and took a defensive stance. Was this it? Was my journey over so soon? Would I die in this dark place, no one to ever know what has become of me or Andrew?
From the sound of the shuffling I knew that whatever the source or sources were they were very close. I would see them at any moment. Just as the thought crossed my mind, the creatures came into view. There were two of them. Their skin looked rough and scaly. It was the deepest shade of black I had ever seen. Their teeth reflected the torch light and were pointed like icicles. They had silver soulless eyes and I could hear their snarling and see the drool pouring from their mouths as they moved forward.
My heart felt as if it would jump out of my chest. I could not find enough air to make my lungs feel at ease. My mouth had become a desert and everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. The creatures paused as they took notice of me. The snarls that I had heard them make before were nothing compared to the noises they made now. It was a loud guttural noise. The sweat poured from my forehead and I thought my eyes might bulge out of my skull.
The lackels looked at each other and made grunts. It seemed as though they were discussing what course of action to take. I gripped my machete tight. My gut told me that this would not be a peaceful encounter. I started silent prayers to whatever higher power existed. I could not die, not here, not now.
One of the lackels started to move towards me. The other one stayed where is was and glared at me with its frightening silver eyes. The lackel that moved towards me grunted and snarled angrily. Its mouth was twisted into an evil grin. It broke into a run. I braced myself for the attack. I could see the other lackel behind it crawling up to the ceiling. Apparently this was to be a dual attack. The first one jumped at me and I swung my machete. It landed into the side of its head with a sickening wet thud. Blood started pouring out of the wound. The forward momentum of its now limp body pushed us both to the floor, the length of its body landing right on top of me. I scrambled to get it off of me before the second lackel arrived. Its scaly, slimy skin under my fingers made my skin crawl. I looked above me and knew it was too late.
The lackel jumped down from the ceiling and tore the other lackel off of me. It growled in my face, its rotten breath flowing over me. Tears flowed down my face. It stared at me with its hungry eyes and opened its mouth. I knew this would be the last chance for attack that I would get. I quickly reached up my hands and dug my thumbs into its eyes. My stomach twisted at the feeling of the creature’s eyeballs under my fingers. It felt like I was like trying to squash giant, warm grapes. The lackel began to screech in agony. It shook violently. I lost grip and it sunk its teeth into my left shoulder. I writhed in pain and screamed. I reached back with my other fist and started pounding into its skull and the side of its face. I heard the crunch of its nose under my fist and blood began to spray. The lackel fell backwards, clutching its face. I stood up and ran over to the first lackel. I placed my foot on the lackel to hold it down as I removed the machete from its skull. I ran up to the other lackel and began swinging, chopping off its arms and legs. It made the most horrible noises I had ever heard, the high pitched sounds ringing in my ears. Finally it was motionless and silent. I leaned over and vomited, clutching my ruined shoulder. With shaky hands I tore off a strip of fabric from my negligee. I pulled tightly on the fabric as I tied it, to reduce the blood flow. I screamed as I did. I picked up my supplies, grabbed the torch, and began to walk again.
I went for what seemed to be miles. I had lost all concept of time. I wondered what time it was back home. I was exhausted, dizzy, and nauseated. If I didn’t get some rest, I knew that I would be unable to survive another attack. I noticed an alcove to the left. I would have to stop, eat a little, and sleep. Upon walking into the alcove, I felt a sort of relief. It was deep into the wall of the cave and wide enough to be comfortable. I would be able to go undetected here if I was careful. I found another large crevice in the wall and wedged the torch in it. I sat my machete and knapsack down and pulled the blanket out of the sack. I laid it upon the floor of the alcove, sat down, and sighed in complete and total pleasure. I couldn’t recall any time that sitting down had felt so good. I pulled out the cloth napkin full of bread that Baron had placed in my knapsack. I removed two of the twisted rolls. I tore into the first roll like an uncivilized beast. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was. At first I was afraid that the rolls would come right back up. My stomach settled down a little as I forced myself to eat more slowly, savoring the yeasty softness of the bread as it melted in my mouth. I took a few conservative sips of water. I stood back up and grabbed the torch. I sat back on the blanket and snuffed out the torch to the side of it. I laid down, closed my eyes, and sought out sleep. It was only moments before I found it.
Andrew walked towards me in the darkness, his face frozen in a horrific expression. Tears were streaming down his cheeks.
“Andrew, what’s wrong?” I called out. My voice echoes throughout the black void.
I felt myself start to run towards him. I had to get to him. There was a sense of urgency I didn’t quite understand. I was almost there, just a few more feet. All of the sudden, two black undefined hands grabbed him. He began to scream. He was reeling backwards. I looked around and there were a hundred red glowing eyes staring at me from the darkness. A woman’s laughter filled the air, evil maniacal laughter. I covered my ears and screamed no over and over as I ran after him. I started to sob.
“Please give him back!! Please! PLEASE!!! NO!!!!” I screamed. The woman laughed louder and harder. My legs felt as if they would give out. Andrew was getting further and further away as each second past. Finally, it got to where I couldn’t see him anymore. I thought my head would explode and my heart would collapse. All of the sudden I tripped in the darkness. I found myself falling down a black hole. Darkness was all I could see. I closed my eyes and prepared to smack into the bottom if there was one.
I shot up from my sl
eep, sweating profusely. My heart was racing and I was short of breath. I started to cry. I had never dreamt of something so real. I wanted to see Andrew more than I think I ever had in my life. His horror stuck face and his screaming lingered in my mind. The fear I had felt fighting the lackels did not even compare to how I felt now. The real fear was failure. The real fear was being too late. The real fear was being unable to do anything. I searched the ground for the torch and my knapsack. I didn’t know how much sleep I was able to get through, but it didn’t matter. There was no way I would be able to fall back asleep now. My shoulder throbbed. There was nothing to clean it out with. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before it became infected. I found the torch and the knapsack. I fumbled around in the sack to find some of the dried grass I had taken from the entrance and my flint stones. I crawled away from the blanket and set the grass on fire. I lit the torch. I looked over at my left arm and shoulder. The blood had seeped through my makeshift bandage and had run down in streaks on my arm. I prayed that the bleeding was coming close to stopping, if it hadn’t already. Bleeding to death was not an option. I had to make it. I packed up my makeshift camp. It was time to set out again into this nightmare fairytale.
After what I imagined was another mile, the tunnel had begun to incline slightly. I became excited. This meant I was beginning to travel up into the mountains. I felt a small amount of accomplishment and hope. I reminded myself to not get overly optimistic. There was still a long way to go more than likely and I was in no way, shape, or form safe or close to finishing what I had come to do. It was fairly silent in the tunnel now. There were no more dripping sounds since I had moved past the river. I was happy about that. It meant that I would be able to hear anything or anyone approaching.
I wondered how Andrew was faring. I wondered if he would look the way he looked in my dream, horrified. I was completely shaken. It as if that look on his face had been burned into my retinas. It was all I could see. I was barely paying attention to where I was going. It was as if I was in constant battle with myself to keep from breaking down. My shoulder ached more and more as time passed. I felt weak and dizzy. The more inclined the tunnel became, the weaker I felt. The worst part was not knowing how far there was to go. I thought of Meep. I wished so much that he could have made the journey with me. I would not be all alone with only me fears to keep me company. I guess it is kind of wrong to wish another creature to risk their safety for me and Andrew, not knowing either of us.
A glimmer caught my eye from further up the cave. I slowed my pace, unsure of what to expect. I walked slowly forward, being careful to not make any noise. I was almost sure that that I could see something or someone around the curve ahead. As I closed in on the curve, my pulse quickened. There was someone there. They looked human. They had a torch as well. Meep had said the queen used to travel through here. Well, if it was her, she was about to suffer more than anyone ever had. She would tell me where Andrew was, and if Andrew was dead, I would cut off little pieces of her and laugh as she screamed for mercy. I pulled my machete off of my back and quietly put down my torch on the rocky tunnel floor. I ran toward what I now saw was a woman. She was running also, her weapon held high like mine.
“You bitch!!! Where the fuck is Andrew? Where is he!?” I screamed as I swung down at her. She swung down at the same time and I found myself reeling backwards to the ground. I quickly stood up and got ready for a second attack. As I moved forward, the appearance of the woman in the dim light caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks. I moved my free hand to touch my face and she did the same. I waved and she did the same. I put away my machete and so did she. She was me. It was a mirror. I walked up to it, my eyes wide as I glanced myself over. My hair was matted with sweat and dirt. Almost every inch of my skin was splotched with dirt and drops of blood. I looked incredibly sick. The clean parts of my skin had an alarming pallor to them. In my dirty, torn, black negligee, I looked like a housewife that was stolen from her bed and dropped into the middle of a war zone.
I walked back over to my torch and picked it up. I started walking again and noticed that the walls of the tunnels were all mirrors as far as I could see. I wondered who would need mirrors in a place like this. Maybe the queen was incredibly vain. The thought made me laugh a little. My laughter was interrupted by someone ahead. I stopped and listened. The voice sounded strangely familiar. I rushed forward to where the voice was coming from. I almost squealed when I finally recognized the voice. It was Andrew! I started to run. All exhaustion was gone. I was going to get to see Andrew! We would go home and I would hold him forever! I closed in on the voice and stopped as I looked to my right and there he was. I started sobbing.
“Oh Andrew, I was so scared. I thought I would never see you again. I love you so much. I love you…I….I” My voice trailed off as my chest heaved and my sobbing became hysterical. I moved forward to encircle him with my arms and bumped my head as I moved forward. I looked up confused. I saw my living room. Andrew was there. He was talking to somebody. I looked over to see who it was and was in total disbelief when I realized it was me.
“I really wish you would stay here,” Andrew said. He looked up at the mirror image of me pleadingly from our navy blue paisley couch.
“God, why are you always doing this? I just want to go out with my friends. I mean is it so bad for me to go out and have a drink every once in a while?” The mirror image of me curled her face in disgust.
I stood back and watched Andrews face grow cold. The other me turned and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. Andrew sat and frowned. I felt sick inside. I knew the scene all too well. Was that what it was like from the outside? Either way, I needed to keep moving forward. I walked a few more feet and another scene started playing out.
I looked to the left and we were on the back porch of the old apartment we had lived in before we got the house. I started to rot apart inside. This was the last thing I ever wanted to see.
“I just feel like I am missing out on life. I love you. I am just not in love with you anymore. Look at you. You are this upset now; imagine what you will be like ten years from now if things don’t work out. We aren’t good together. I am sorry,” Andrew said to the other me. He was crying. The other me was too. We got back together six months later, but that was one of the single most painful memories I had. I could feel it, the exact desperation and hopelessness that I had felt at that very moment. It felt like the whole world was crashing around me and that my insides were rotting out. I could hear the screaming in my head like I had heard that night. I felt the pure terror of losing everything that meant anything to me all over again. What was this, a fun house for the damned? I was completely riveted.
I started to run forward, my vision blurred by tears. I could not handle much more. I knew my sanity and will to survive hung by a thread already as it was. I tripped and fell, slamming my knees into the jagged floor. I screamed in agony. I had scraped my knees terribly and they throbbed now in pain. I moved my legs to be sure nothing was broken and was somewhat relieved when nothing was. I looked over and a new scene had started. I braced myself. Which dark haunting memory would this be?
“I am sorry. I know I fucked up. You’re leaving aren’t you? You’re leaving and it’s all my fault. I will change. I promise. Please, I don’t think I can live without you,” Andrew looked at the other me, completely broken. The other me moved to hug him.
“I just need to get away for a while and clear my head. I still love you. I am just moving out, we’re not breaking up,” the other me said, reassuringly.
I shook my head and screamed. What an idiot I had been then. I screamed out to no one, “Ok, I get it! We had problems. I made mistakes. What is this?! Why am I being shown this?!”
To the other side of me a new scene started. Andrew and the other me sat on the couch together. He played video games while her head rested against his shoulder. She stared at him, waiting for him to glance down at her. He was completely oblivious to her presence.
> I thought I would seriously be sick. My stomach churned as the emotions that I felt at that moment flowed though me. So many times I had felt helpless, invisible. So many times I had sat there waiting for him to just look over, aching for him to acknowledge my presence, that I was alive. Tears streamed down my face. I shook my head and clenched my fists. None of it mattered. Everyone has their problems. Andrew and I were no different than anyone else. Whatever force that was at work here would not stop me with ugly memories. I would not go running, scared of the darkness that lay in my own heart. I would fight my way up this stupid fucking mountain in this god forsaken tunnel. Nothing short of death would stop me from getting to Andrew.
I stood up and brushed myself off. I started to walk forward again. Every few feet I could hear my voice and Andrew’s voice. Even though I refused to look over, it didn’t seem to matter. The memories played in perfect detail in my mind. Every bad moment we had ever lived was being thrown at me. Tears were a constant presence on my cheeks. Guilt flowed freely through me for all of the bad I had ever done. Old scars left from things I had forgiven were torn open to make new wounds. It started to feel as if the walls were closing in.
As I continued forward I became so consumed by visions and memories that I couldn’t even see. The visions of things passed flashed before my eyes. It got to the point where I wasn’t even sure if I was still moving anymore. I couldn’t make it stop. I was drowning in the moments that I had tried to forget for so long. I was being tortured by my past transgressions. I started bargaining with whatever higher power there was that I would do anything for it to stop. I think I had started to scream, but was unsure. All of the sudden there was a bright flash and then quiet. I drifted into blackness and became completely lost.