Chapter 6:
Five minutes had passed and neither of us had moved. We just stood there staring at each other, as still as statues. I was afraid to move. I felt like if I did all sanity would leave me and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my last moments, not that I was enjoying them now. I wondered if he felt the same.
Finally, Andrew moved. He started to walk toward me. I shifted my gaze to the floor, the sight of him tearing me as well as my sanity into shreds. Somewhere inside I think I was trying to teach myself to not long for what was no longer mine. He stopped right in front of me, placing my right hand in his outstretched hand. He lifted his other hand and brought it to my chin, lifting my face to meet his. He looked down into my eyes and I screamed inside. His eyes were wet with fresh tears, making them all the more devastating and all the more beautiful. I found myself drowning in flecks of golden brown and green. I wanted to look away. My chest had become tight. I thought my heart was sure to stop. As the tears fell down his cheeks he leaned down, his full warm lips brushing against mine. My heart shattered and I knew that I would never again be able to piece it back together. He lifted his face away and I just stared up after him. The silence that had held us captive returned once more.
I turned away and walked toward the bed, Andrew’s eyes following after me. Even in my misery it was still so beautiful, covered in the jade satin comforter adorned with the delicate white flowers. I sat down on the edge and removed my shawl. I looked up and Andrew’s eyes had widened. I followed his gaze to my left shoulder. When I looked over at it, I found that I was no longer surprised by its grotesque appearance.
Andrew walked briskly over to me and sat down next to me, once again placing my hand in his.
“Torey?” The sound of his voice stomped all over the shards of my heart, making me wince. I couldn’t look up. He grabbed my chin once more and turned my face towards his. “Torey, what happened to your shoulder,” he paused, his eyes searching mine, “I mean what happened to you? “I looked at my shoulder once again apathetically and then looked back in his eyes. “Baby, what happened? Tell me,” he said, his voice pleading with me.
My face crumbled. “Andrew I tried so hard!” I sobbed. “I just wanted to save you. I just wanted for us to go home together. I just wanted to have the chance to make up for every mistake I had ever made, to love you the way I had always meant to, if only I hadn’t been so caught up in myself.” I shook my head as I sobbed hysterically. He started to rub my back. I looked at him through my tears and threw his arm off of me and stood up, backing away. “NO! That will never happen now! You are hers now! I will never see you again. I… will… never…” I fell to my knees and grabbed them, rocking back and forth, my breathing jagged between my cries. I wanted to be able to be warm towards him. I wanted to so much to hold him. It wasn’t as simple as that though. I couldn’t get past the fact that this was it, that this was the end of us.
He stood up and walked over to me. He scooped me up off of the floor into his arms. I started to fight him and then just let go, letting the pain overtake me. Every breath I took in was filled with the scent of his aftershave. It was dizzying. I knew that I was losing it. He placed me gently on the bed, allowing my head to slowly slip onto the pillow. He walked to the end of the bed and crawled over next to me placing his arm around my waist.
“Torey please look at me, please talk to me. I had to do it. I couldn’t stand there and watch you bleed to death. I just couldn’t. Don’t you understand?” He was the one who sobbed now. I stared at the ceiling, tears pouring from the sore corners of my eyes to the pillow. “I love you. I had to do it because I love you. I couldn’t… I just… please?”
I turned to face him, no longer being able to take it. I would be brave. I could fall apart tomorrow. The one thing I knew I could no longer do was sit and torture him with my silence. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I held him as tightly as I could. His body heat radiated against mine. I could feel his heart beating rapidly, as was mine. I tried to focus on it, to remember the sensation of it, praying that I would never forget.
I backed away, looking him over, rememorizing every inch of his skin. I stared at his arms, his slender but well defined muscles, the veins that stood out on his forearms and hands. I stared at his face, his long, slender nose, his beautifully shaped eyebrows, his long lashes, the lines that stood at the corners of his eyes, his smile lines on his face. I memorized every freckle, every beauty mark. I caressed his cheek with my hand.
“I love you so much,” I whispered as I tried to move past his eyes into his soul, praying that I would get trapped there, never being able to find my way out.
He stared at me for a moment and then pulled my forehead to his, “I love you more than you will ever know.” Once again his lips brushed against mine. I pulled him to me, deepening the kiss. I tried to convey my feelings in that kiss, to make it say I love you, to make it scream that he was my life, the only thing I knew. Tears burned hot on my face, but I didn’t move away. I just continued, trying to pull him closer, trying to press us together so that we might never be separated.
He pulled away from me, moving down to my right ankle, kissing it softly, pushing up my gown as he moved up to my shin. I flinched and gasped as he brushed his hand against the acid burn on my calf. He backed away and turned my leg to get a better look at the wound. He lifted my dress up higher and saw my scraped up knees. He looked up at me, his eyes full of pain.
“What happened?” he asked. His voice was uneven and overflowing with concern. I looked at him and frowned. I didn’t want to rehash they nightmare journey to this moment. I knew that it would only bring him further down. “I can’t just lay here and ignore it. I need to know.”
“All right, come up here and lay with me, I will tell you,” I replied, dismay overshadowing my words.
He scooted up the bed and laid down next to me so that we were face to face. I tried to think of where to start.
“I woke up around 10 a.m. to find the shower running. I looked through the house and you weren’t there. Your cell phone was still at the house and so was your car, so I started calling everyone we know, but no one had heard from you. Later on when I went in the bathroom, a gangleus was there. They said that they had you and that if I wanted you back that I would have to come and get you. So, I climbed through the mirror and started walking. I ran across this friendly little furry creature name Meep,” I paused, waiting for him to remark, but he just laid there, completely enthralled. “Anyway, Meep led me to his friend Baron’s house. Baron was kind enough to give me a weapon and supplies for my journey. Then, we left to go to the Red River so I could go into the tunnel there that led to this place. Meep told me that he would go no further once we got to the entrance and I shimmied my way into the tunnel. I found a torch and started making my way towards here. Then the two lackels attacked me.” Andrew stared at me confused.
“What are lackels?” His eyes glowed with curiosity.
“They are these black scaly creatures. They can climb walls and crawl on ceilings. They have the most frightening silver eyes you have ever seen and razor sharp teeth.” I could see the fear in his eyes as I described them. “One of them came at me and I killed it with my machete, but it fell on top of me and I was unable to get back up before the next one was on top of me. I tried to gouge out its eyes with my thumbs, but it shook me off and bit into my left shoulder. I hit it over and over again and broke its nose and it fell backward. At that point I grabbed my machete and hacked it to pieces.”
Andrew just stared at me for a few minutes, absorbing it all in. His eyes would rest on my face and then my shoulder. It was as if he was trying to wrap his mind around the idea that his tiny 5’4’’ girlfriend had fought two monsters and had won. “So, what happened after that?” he said, caressing my face with his left hand.
“I tore a piece of my negligee off and wrapped up my shoulder and continued on.”
He smirked and interrupted
, “You were in your negligee?”
I couldn’t help but crack a small smile, “Well, it’s not as though I thought I would be fighting monsters and traveling through tunnels to get to you. In the real world, people don’t normally go through mirrors into lands straight out of a horror novel trying to save their boyfriends.”
“Ok, I’m sorry, continue.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead and then looked at me, conveying with his glare that I had his full attention.
“Well, I had to stop and take a nap. I had the most horrible nightmare. I kept running after you as they pulled you away, but I couldn’t catch up. Then you were gone and I was falling.” Tears started to form at the corners of my eyes and he blotted them away. He grabbed my face between his hands and met my eyes with his.
“I am right here,” he whispered softly. “Now, tell me the rest.”
I pulled in a deep breath and continued. “So, after I woke up from that I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. I relit the torch and started on my way again. After I got past the river, the tunnel started to incline. I felt like I was finally getting somewhere. Then I came upon a part of the tunnel where the walls were completely made up of mirrors.” I stopped, staring at the walls, my mind playing over all the horrible memories that I had seen in the mirrors. Sadness filled me. I would never be able to right those mistakes. I would never get to see our happily ever after.
“What is it baby? What did you see there?” His words pulled me out of my thoughtful trance.
“Well, any and everything bad that we have ever been through was depicted in the mirrors. It was like they had home movies of every argument we have ever had, of every breakup, of every negative feeling. I tried to shut it out, but then it overtook me. I couldn’t see anymore. The emotions overwhelmed me, the memories filled my eyes. I tried to run and fell and scraped up my knees pretty badly, as you can see,” I stated mater-of-factly, directing my gaze to my exposed knees, Andrew’s gaze following mine. “Then something hit me on the head and I woke up in some sort of dungeon. They had me chained to a wall. I was kept there for hours. I eventually passed out from exhaustion and a fire spider spit acid on my leg, which is where that large wound on my calf came from. Strange enough, that same spider spit on the cuffs that held my arms in chains and set me free. I was going to try to attack the gangleus when it came to get me, but then it said I was being taken to the queen and I decided to just go along with it, thinking that even if it didn’t lead me to you, that it would give me a chance to destroy her.” My face twisted in anger as I thought of her. I wanted nothing more than to hurt her, over and over again until she begged for death. “They brought me to this room and these three woman creatures with black eyes cleaned me up, forcing me into this gown and covering me in makeup and perfume. I was brought to the room where I finally got to see you. I was standing there for your entire conversation with the queen. There was some kind of barrier. I banged and I screamed, but you couldn’t hear me. I guess when she snapped her fingers the barrier disappeared. The rest, you were there for. So that’s what happened to me.”
Andrew just stared at me, unable to speak. His face was a mix of emotions. I could see fear, anger, surprise, but overall sadness. “You went through all of that? I don’t even know what to say. I am blown away. I am glad to know that you love me enough to come for me. I stare at your wounds though and I feel so guilty.” His eyes were full of torture and guilt. I couldn’t even begin to understand why.
“Why do you feel guilty? I don’t understand. You didn’t do this to me. You didn’t make this happen.”
“Yes, but I am a man. I am supposed to take care of you. I am supposed to save you. I have failed you there. I promise you this though, when the morning comes, we will fight together. We will go home together. I will make this up to you somehow. We will get past this nightmare.” His words were sincere, but in my gut I knew that tomorrow was the end. There were forces at work that were stronger than the both of us. They could render us paralyzed with a wave of their arms. I didn’t argue this point with him though. For the moment I decided to pretend it was true. I tried to imagine it; us back at home, sitting in bed drinking coffee, watching cartoons on a Saturday morning.
“Now you must tell me what happened to you while you were here. I was so worried. I am so happy to see that they didn’t hurt you.”
“Well, my story isn’t near as dramatic as yours. I was getting ready for work. I was in the shower and was in the middle of shampooing my hair. I heard the shower curtain open and I called out your name, thinking it was you. When you didn’t answer I opened my eyes and there was a brunette woman in front of me, wearing an evening gown. I rubbed my eyes, thinking maybe I was just seeing things. When I looked again she was still there. I moved past her and grabbed my towel to cover myself up. I asked her who the fuck she was and what she was doing in my house. She just stood there, smiling and laughing. I shook her, asking her again who she was, and she wouldn’t answer. I didn’t know what to do. I was so afraid that you would wake up and walk in and think the wrong thing. She picked up my work clothes off of the seat of the toilet. All of the sudden, I saw the black monster in the mirror. Before I even had time to yell, I found myself being sucked into the mirror. Within seconds I was inside the fortress. I stood there, in this gigantic room, all white and gold, completely naked. She just stared at me as I did my best to cover myself. She laughed. I asked her where we were, growing angrier by the second. I have to admit though, I was scared as hell. She threw my clothes at me and rolled her eyes at me. She told me to get dressed and that she would be back for me.” He paused, staring at me. I guessed that my emotions were probably painted clearly across my face. I was angry, murderously angry. I noticed that my fists had clenched subconsciously.
“I want to kill her. I wish that there was just a way. I want to kill her and I would enjoy it thoroughly as I did it if I could,” my voice was gravely serious. I didn’t even sound like myself. I had never truly wanted to destroy a human being before, let alone enjoyed the thought of doing so, but then again no one had attempted to kill me before. No one had tried to kidnap what I loved most before.
“Believe me; I want to make her pay for what she has done to you too, for what she has done to the both of us. If she tries taking you from me in the morning, I will make her pay. No one is taking you from me.” He circled my face with his eyes, running his large, graceful hands through my hair. He leaned and kissed me even more passionately than before. I returned it with equal force. I placed my hands in his silky hair, running my fingers though it over and over, making my fingers memorize the sensation, wanting to know each strand.
I pushed him away and gently and pulled his shirt over his head. I looked him up and down, his slender and muscular torso lying before me. His shoulders glowed, slightly tanner than the rest of his arms from surfing. Freckles were scattered playfully across them. I always loved that, and never knew why. I leaned in and started kissing him again as he gently tugged on my satin gown. We parted momentarily for him to lift the dress over my head. He removed the silver combs from my hair and let them drop to the side of the bed. He searched me over, taking inventory of all the small cuts that burned red across my milky white skin. He started to kiss each one of them gently, as if his kisses would cure them. He made it from my collar bone to my toes and then back up again to my face.
“Sit up,” he whispered gently. I sat up and he moved behind me. He began to loosen the laces my corset. I felt a great relief as I found it easy to breathe again. He gently lifted the corset over my head, being careful to not run it across my shoulder. He moved out from behind me and I faced him, staring at him lovingly. He gazed me over, as if he was drinking me in with his eyes. He grabbed my face and we began to kiss again.
We found ourselves lying down again both scrambling to remove each other’s lower garments. Within moments we were unified. It was as if we were trying to consume each other, to make this one act count for the rest of eternity, so
that the memory would forever remain on our skin. I wanted to be trapped in this moment forever, to remain here, no one in the world but the two of us.
We lay together when we were finished, legs and arms intertwined, staring into each other’s eyes. I tried to fight off the sadness as it worked its way through me yet again, reality my constant nagging burden. I didn’t want to ruin what we had just shared with thoughts of separation. I knew soon enough that I would have to say the things that were in my heart. If we were to never see each other again there were things that I could not live with not saying. I would apologize for the things that I had been wrong for. I would apologize for every moment that I had mistreated him. I doubted that it would make tomorrow any less torturous, but maybe it would make it easier to sleep, assuming I ever was able to sleep again.
He ran his fingers through my hair, “I love you. You’re so amazing. How did I ever get so lucky?”
“It’s funny that you say that, I was wondering the same thing about you earlier.”
He smiled the sweetest smile that reached his eyes; his perfect, soul-stealing, heart-stopping eyes. I would never be able to get past the memory of those eyes. They would haunt me for the rest of my life. I tried to smile back, but found myself unable to. My heart was breaking.
“Andrew, there are some things I really wanted to talk to you about. There are some things that have to be said,” I said, unable to avoid a serious tone.
His smile faded, but he continued staring into my eyes. “What do you want to talk about?”
“When I was in the tunnel, with all of the mirrors, I saw some things from an outside perspective that really disturbed me. I know you say that we’re leaving here together. God knows that I want to believe that more than anything. However, if we don’t there are just certain things I must apologize for.”
He reached a finger up to my lips, trying to silence me. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
I gently moved his hand away, but made my face stern. “Yes there are. Please let me get this out. I wanted you to know how sorry I am for the bad things I have put you through. I know I went out too much. I know that I was very inconsiderate of your feelings in that arena. I am sorry for the times that we broke up and how I hurt you when we did. I never meant to hurt you. I am sorry for not hearing you out when it came to our relationship on so many occasions. I am sorry for all of the petty things that I ever argued with you about, down to the dishes. All of that seems so stupid now. All of it seems so trivial. Had I only known that my time was limited, it would have been so much different. I thought you and I would stretch on forever. I thought you and I would grow old together. The more comfortable I got, it seems the less I cherished what we were, the real idea of us and all we stood for. I took it for granted. I pushed things farther than they should have ever been pushed and for that I apologize as well. I always loved you though. I still love you just as much as the first moment I realized I did. Even in the ugliest, darkest moments I have loved you. If we are to never see each other again after tonight, I will go on loving you until the end of time. I just needed you to know that. I needed you to know that I recognize that I made mistakes and if I could go back we would have done it right. I would have loved you right.”
He didn’t say anything at first. His face was pensive and slightly melancholy as though he struggled with some sad thought in his mind. Though I knew that the sadness that was apparent on his face was there because of the words I had spoken, I couldn’t bring myself to regret it. A great weight had been lifted from me. I felt something that closely resembled peace.
“You know that you were forgiven for anything you had done immediately. I never held any grudges. I know that I mistreated you a lot in the past. I recognize that maybe that fact alone drove you to do some of the things that caused me pain. You know I love you. You know I always will. Regardless of what happens tomorrow, nothing changes that. We love each other, which is all that matters. So no more apologies ok?” I nodded and pulled him into a hug.