“I’m ready, Kendall. And I wouldn’t worry. Malcolm will never leave without seeing you again.”
I nodded to him. “Enjoy what comes next.”
He gave me a small smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you there.”
I doubted that entirely. I wasn’t going to die. I was the Phoenix.
I waved my hand, my power moving through me this time like a curse instead of a gift. Screw the universe for making me powerful. Let someone else move Chase on; give someone else the burden.
Only it was my job—had been, even before there was such a thing as a phoenix in my life—and as I watched, Chase disappeared from my life. I sucked in my breath. I couldn’t fall apart, couldn’t draw attention to myself with the shadows wandering around so close to me.
I reached my hand to the empty sky. “Goodbye, Chase.”
* * *
I couldn’t go home; they’d look for me there. I needed to get the phoenix—the idol version—so I could see if I could figure out how to transfer the power out of the thing and back into myself. Victoria would have been helpful, but I wasn’t losing anyone else.
I still had my credit cards and booked myself a hotel room on the side of a highway. It was clean enough, and I bought some athletic clothes to change into. After I’d showered and redressed, I took a look at myself in the mirror. My arms were toned, my stomach as flat as it could be, having had four children and lived the equivalent of three lives. In my black yoga pants and pink tank top, I was practically back in my stay-at-home-mom uniform from my days before life had changed beyond recognition.
All I needed were my Uggs and I could go meet up with the girls at the gym.
Only, my sneakers would be more helpful if I had to run.
Although why I’d have to ever do so again was beyond me. If I died, I’d come back. Still, I felt better at least looking like I could take off like a bat out of hell if I needed to.
Now, the problem would be locating The Master. He had the phoenix idol, which should help me find him, I hoped. What was it Victoria always said to me? Like finds like in magic. If part of me was in that bird, then I would know where it was.
Except that as I stood there in my sort-of clean hotel room, I didn’t feel a thing. Not even a tingle. I groaned, loudly. I needed Malcolm. He would at least tell me not to fret. Or let me know that I sucked and this whole thing was my fault.
I kept expecting Ross to show up to tell me to move him on. Then I could break that to Erin, and she’d hate me more than she already did.
What would I do if I couldn’t feel the bird? Well, I’d have to find it some other way. This afternoon had been all about subterfuge. But now, maybe I needed to make myself seen. They could find me, bring me to The Master, and we’d take it from there.
I looked at the calendar on the wall. It was a Thursday. That meant it was PTA night.
Maybe I should go take in a meeting ….
Walking into my kids’ elementary school left me covered in goosebumps. This was where it had all started. Technically, my children hadn’t set foot in this building in a long time. If anyone questioned me, I’d say we’d moved back. Or I’d say nothing at all.
The last time I’d lived in my house, the shadows possessed a number of my neighbors to keep an eye on me. There were probably still a few around.
The shadows wanted to take over our world. They needed bodies to wear until the body wore out. Then they moved to another one. Only the leaders got the bodies that lasted, and I had shoved most of the shadow leaders out of reach in another dimension. As long as I didn’t make any more stupid mistakes, like I had with Malcolm, that sent my friends into the grip of the Shadows, they’d all be fine.
Heads turned when I walked in. Despite a few faces I didn’t recognize, all the old gang was there. They’d been there to see me have an episode with a ghost, which they would later report as drunken behavior on my part. Levi had taken their side. It had all gone downhill from there.
Or uphill, depending on how I looked at it.
The world was ending. Their loved ones were being possessed. When their bodies wore out, they’d have heart attacks and die when the shadows left. In the meantime, if the board at the front of the room was to be believed, they were planning a bake sale.
I used to make the lemon squares.
Everyone loved them. The secret was bottled lemon juice.
Holy hell. Maybe I’d had four or five lives because the woman who had spent time working on such things didn’t feel like me.
I grabbed a chair and sat down in the back of the room.
Kelsey Trent stood at the front, her mouth hanging open like she wanted to catch flies. “Kendall.”
Once upon a time, we used to laugh. Kendall and Kelsey. The K girls. “Kelsey.”
“Are you, ahem, back?” She put her hand on her hip.
I waved my hand in front of me. “As you see.”
As much as I should be solely focused on end-of-the-world stuff, I couldn’t help but revel in the fact that I’d stunned the people who had delighted in trying to ruin my life. They were supposed to have been my friends. We’d had dinners out as couples, play dates with our kids, served on committees—and the first chance they’d gotten, they’d turned on me.
The phone calls had come fast. By the time I’d gotten home, they’d labeled me an alcoholic, and they were ‘so’ concerned for ‘poor’ Levi and the kids. The fact that he’d believed them was on Levi. I wouldn’t forget the schadenfreude the whole lot of them rolled around in.
And here I was … I’d survived things they couldn’t imagine.
It almost made me consider letting them all hang up to dry. Humanity might not be worth saving anymore. Or maybe we never were. I didn’t see myself as anyone’s savior. Things had gotten personal for me and the shadows a long time ago.
I didn’t need a reason to kill them.
Kelsey cleared her throat. I didn’t let up with my eye contact. If she couldn’t hold my gaze for more than a few seconds, that wasn’t my problem, it was hers.
“How are your children?”
I almost answered with the requisite “fine.” Instead, I decided the truth would do—it always should have and would from now on. “Survivors.”
“Oh, I …”
A woman jumped to her feet. I recognized her distantly. We hadn’t been close, and as far as I could remember, she hadn’t partaken in the glee over my downfall. She was tall, blonde, and gorgeous. And her name was—
“Kendall,” she huffed out my name. “Where the fuck have you been?”
Gasps sounded around the room. Well, that was some pretty strong language for a PTA meeting. I covered my mouth, but not before I snorted my amusement. “Ah, I didn’t realize—”
The woman threw her hands in the air. “I’ve been in hiding. Do you have any idea how hard that is right now? We had a deal.”
I saw the shadow flash through her eyes. It took me a second to realize who I was talking to wasn’t whatshername because, like so many of them now, the shadow was faking the light of a soul. “Top Hat?”
“What’s going on here?” Kelsey looked between Top Hat and me. “Candice, there is no need for that kind of language.”
Candice, yes, that had been her name. Poor woman. Dead now, most likely. Just like everyone else would be shortly. Candice Martinez. She worked as a CPA downtown. Family-friendly office but she still overcompensated for being one of the working moms. Her cupcakes were gluten free even when none of the kids required the dietary adjustment. The trying-too-hard screamed “Don’t judge me!” to the other moms. It was unfortunate that they always did. And once I’d been among them. I’d been such a bitch—and not in a good way.
I waved my hand at Kelsey. “Shove it, Kelsey.” I spun in a circle. “Any other shadows in the room, I’m here. Come on, Top Hat. Let’s you and I get reacquainted.”
Chapter Eight
Top Hat, dressed as Candice, dragged me by the arm outside. I ripped my arm away when we rea
ched the side of the school. I wasn’t going to be handled by him—no matter what body he wore. There was a time when I would have been utterly horrified for Candice. I’d have cried and beaten myself up. But I had, somehow, gotten really used to the shadows running around doing what they did.
I even not-so-secretly thought Candice might be completely lucky she’d gotten out when she did.
Now, her children were another matter. “Are you being good to the kids, dipshit? You take on the body of a person with a family, and you can’t destroy them.”
She—he—growled at me. “There are more things at stake than the mental illness of two children under the age of ten. They’re fed, they’re bathed, and they’re not dead. That’s going to have to be good enough.”
It really wasn’t, but I wouldn’t win this argument. He’d been human once and bad enough to get sent to the Shadow Dimension; there wouldn’t be any appealing to his softer side. He didn’t have one.
“What do you want, and what were you doing in the PTA meeting?”
He stomped his foot. “I hoped you’d show back up there at some point. I couldn’t think of anywhere else you might visit.”
Poor Candice. Another mom in my neighborhood dead because of the street address Levi and I had once called home. I put my hands on my hips. “What is it you need? And by the way, you’ll have to dump this body now. Any other shadows who were in there will know where you are now.”
“I am aware of that fact.” She pointed at me. “You and I had a deal. A big one. I helped you; you were supposed to help me.”
He wasn’t wrong. I just didn’t care. “You’ll have to excuse me. I spent a considerable amount of time in your dimension. Seems I may have forgotten how deals worked. What. Do. You. Want?”
“You’re incredibly surly.”
Enough was enough. “The shadows have killed my friends. They’ve killed Malcolm. I’m not surly. I’m done.”
“Malcolm isn’t dead, you idiot.”
For a second, I quit breathing. Then I remembered he was Top Hat, and there was nothing he said that wasn’t some sort of lie. “He is. I’ve seen it. I was inside of him. Malcolm was gone.”
“Malcolm is alive. He and The Master battle constantly.”
I didn’t want to believe him. “How would you even know? You’re in hiding. They want to kill you about as much as they do me.”
Of course, they couldn’t. I was going to live forever. I had no intention of telling Top Hat about that, ever. Some things were better kept way under my hat. This whole thing could be a terrible, elaborate ruse.
“I have people who are on my side. You can’t imagine how hated he is. As many people love The Master as hate him.”
I could believe that. “And these so-called people are all on your side? They’re playing double agent? Reporting back to you?”
“Exactly.” He grinned, looking completely excited. “They’re my crew.”
For the love of all things holy, I didn’t give one little bit of a shit about this. I’d warned him I’d spent time in the Shadow Dimension. I wasn’t playing around. He had a crew? Congratu-fuckin-lations. I raised my hand, and he flew into the air, hovering above me like a hummingbird.
“I hate all of you. You took him from me. Every single one of you. I don’t care about your factions. I don’t care about your people. The only good shadow is a dead shadow. Tell me? Can you regenerate here or just there?”
His voice shook. “I don’t know anything about regeneration.” That unfortunately made sense, considering Victoria’s statement about me being the cause of everything. “But I do know Malcolm is alive. Please put me down. Please don’t vanquish me.”
“I’m so impressed with your vocabulary.” Part of becoming a shadow seemed to be the ability to speak all languages. I’d had it too, when I’d been in that dimension. “Vanquished. I like that thought. I vanquish shadows.”
“Malcolm is alive, Kendall. He’s in an epic battle for control of his body. I don’t know why you couldn’t see him when you were with Master. Maybe that was one of the times he was down. He’s not dead. Master has been locked away. Malcolm is making him crazy. It’s a good time for us to beat him. Your team and mine. Together.”
Malcolm was alive. My throat tightened up, relief travelling through me like a vicious kick in the ass. It was good news but the kind that made my body shake, as though it was a physical blow of information. My hand shook, but I kept Top Hat in the sky. “I wouldn’t trust you for anything in the world. You’re not going to take over when he’s gone. You’re not suddenly going to be King Top Hat.”
“I don’t want to be anymore. Honestly, most of us want to go home. The constant body changing. We’re going to start farming you people to keep ourselves housed. I’d rather go back to Shadow Dimension and rule there.”
Better to rule in hell …
I shook my head. “Do you see what I can do to you? How I can dance you around like a marionette? I’ll keep doing it. I can manage a whole room of you fuckers.” My language had seriously deteriorated. It was probably beyond time for it to have done so.
“We won’t betray you. Get rid of The Master. He’s the reason we can’t reopen the vents and go back home. Please.”
I had one more question. “If he’s so weak right now, how is he holding his position?”
“People are terrified of him. Think about it. If you were me, wouldn’t you be? He’s the worst of us, and we’re all pretty bad.”
I lowered him to the ground and watched when he hit it, hard. I had never been floated myself, but I imagined it hurt. Kneeling down, I stared at him. “If this all proves to be bullshit, the next muscle I’ll control will be your heart and throat. You’ll die in your body. I won’t let you out. Then I’ll—”
Top Hat held up his hand. “Okay, I don’t need to hear anymore. It’s not bullshit. Help us get rid of him, and then you can all be rid of us.”
I had to plan quickly. “You have to do something for me first. To prove it. I’m not risking my people or myself on your say-so alone. You shouldn’t trust me either. I’ve already broken a promise with you.” I bent down to look him in the eye. “You do this, and I’ll consider helping you. If you really have all that power, all those people spying for you, what I ask should be no problem for you.”
She blinked rapidly. “What do you want?”
“I want the phoenix. Get it for me. By this time tomorrow. We’ll meet right here. You bring it, and we can be partners. For now.”
Top Hat nodded and then, much to my surprise, grinned. “You didn’t used to be like this. You were such a lost soul. I couldn’t understand why he wanted us on you the way he did. Putting the demon in your son. Stalking you. Hurting you. You seemed so … human. So ordinary. Gotta give The Master credit in one way: he predicted you. Saw what the rest of us couldn’t. He once called you his ultimate enemy, and now here you are. You are what he said you would be.”
“I’m so happy I could finally meet expectations. Now, get out of my face before I change my mind.”
Top Hat ran for his life. I watched as he disappeared into the parking lot and jumped into his minivan before skidding away. My body buzzed. I wanted a fight, and I hadn’t gotten one—yet. But the night was still young, and I had a room filled with PTA moms nearby.
I might get the fight I wanted anyway.
“Kendall.” Kelsey called my attention, and I turned. “Are you okay?”
“Why do you ask?” We hadn’t been close for a long time. Her interest in my wellbeing was probably nothing more than show.
She walked toward me. “I’ve been worried about you. The way you disappeared. Things are so horrible now. I know ten people who died this year of heart attacks. They were all in their thirties and forties. There seems like there is something just … wrong. It all started after you had that incident at the PTA meeting.”
I rocked back on my feet. She wasn’t wrong. “Are you blaming me for it? For the ills of the world?”
&n
bsp; “No.” She put her hands out in front of her. “I’m afraid. I need help. I can’t even put my finger on why—”
“Kelsey.” I steadied myself. “You’re not wrong. I could try to explain it to you, but I don’t think you’d believe me, and frankly, I don’t need to give you more fodder to make up lies.” I might never be around to hear the fabrications, yet I somehow still didn’t want them said. If that made me small, so be it. “There’s nothing you can do to protect yourself, unfortunately. That’s where I come in. I can make it go away. Maybe. But all I can say to you is, if something feels off, it probably is and you should stay away.”
She visibly swallowed and looked everywhere but at me. “Are they … demons? I mean, I was raised Catholic. We haven’t been in such a long time. The kids were baptized but …”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Kelsey, none of this is about religion. It doesn’t matter which one you have. Good is good; bad is bad. This is happening to all of us. Believers and non-believers alike. And while there are demons running around, they aren’t the cause of this. They’re actually puppets to the bigger problem. Maybe stay home? Keep the kids home for the next few days?”
It was possible if they didn’t encounter the shadows outside, they’d be safe. Shadows could be anywhere, but statistically, if they kept their heads down, Kelsey and her family would probably be okay.
I nodded to her once more before I walked away. I wouldn’t hassle the PTA mothers. I’d forgotten, I’d been so completely caught up in my own battles—personal and otherwise—I’d completely missed the fact that everyone was fighting some kind of war all the time. The PTA women had not been good friends. That didn’t mean they weren’t worthy of saving.
How were they supposed to get their second chances if they all died before I gave them the opportunity?