Read Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 Page 27


  Chapter XXIII

  Exalted with our success, we march through France without touching theground--I become feminine--We are voluntary conscripts.

  At day-break I called O'Brien, who jumped up in a great hurry.

  "Sure I've been asleep, Peter."

  "Yes, you have," replied I, "and I thank Heaven that you have, for noone could stand such fatigue as you have, much longer; and if you fallill, what would become of me?" This was touching him on the right point.

  "Well, Peter, since there's no harm come of it, there's no harm done.I've had sleep enough for the next week, that's certain."

  We returned to the wood; the snow had disappeared, and the rain ceased;the sun shone out from between the clouds, and we felt warm.

  "Don't pass so near that way," said O'Brien, "we shall see the poorcreatures, now that the snow is gone. Peter, we must shift our quartersto-night, for I have been to every cabaret in the village, and I cannotgo there any more without suspicion, although I am a gendarme."

  We remained there till the evening, and then set off, still returningtowards Givet. About an hour before daylight we arrived at a copse oftrees, close to the road-side, and surrounded by a ditch, not above aquarter of a mile from a village. "It appears to me," said O'Brien,"that this will do: I will now put you there, and then go boldly to thevillage and see what I can get, for here we must stay at least a week."

  We walked to the copse, and the ditch being rather too wide for me toleap, O'Brien laid the four stilts together so as to form a bridge, overwhich I contrived to walk. Tossing to me all the bundles, and desiringme to leave the stilts as a bridge for him on his return, he set off tothe village with his musket on his shoulder. He was away two hours, whenhe returned with a large supply of provisions, the best we had ever had.French saucissons, seasoned with garlic, which I thought delightful;four bottles of brandy, besides his flask; a piece of hung beef and sixloaves of bread, besides half a baked goose and part of a large pie.

  "There," said he, "we have enough for a good week; and look here, Peter,this is better than all." And he showed me two large horse-rugs.

  "Excellent," replied I; "now we shall be comfortable."

  "I paid honestly for all but these rugs," observed O'Brien; "but I wasafraid to buy them, so I stole them. However, we'll leave them here forthose they belong to--it's only borrowing, after all."

  We now prepared a very comfortable shelter with branches, which we wovetogether, and laying the leaves in the sun to dry, soon obtained a softbed to put one horse-rug on, while we covered ourselves up with theother. Our bridge of stilts we had removed, so that we felt ourselvesquite secure from surprise. That evening we did nothing but carouse--thegoose, the pie, the saucissons as big as my arm, were alternatelyattacked, and we went to the ditch to drink water, and then ate again.This was quite happiness to what we had suffered, especially with theprospect of a good bed. At dark, to bed we went, and slept soundly; Inever felt more refreshed during our wanderings. At daylight O'Brien gotup.

  "Now, Peter, a little practice before breakfast."

  "What practice do you mean?"

  "Mean! why on the stilts. I expect in a week that you'll be able todance a gavotte at least; for mind me, Peter, you travel out of Franceupon these stilts, depend upon it."

  O'Brien then took the stilts belonging to the man, giving, me those ofthe woman. We strapped them to our thighs, and by fixing our backs to atree, contrived to get upright upon them; but, at the first attempt towalk, O'Brien fell to the right, and I fell to the left. O'Brien fellagainst a tree, but I fell on my nose, and made it bleed very much;however, we laughed and got up again, and although we had several falls,at last we made a better hand of them. We then had some difficulty ingetting down again, but we found out how, by again resorting to a tree.After breakfast we strapped them on again, and practised, and so wecontinued to do for the whole day, when we again attacked ourprovisions, and fell asleep under our horse-rug. This continued for fivedays, by which time, being constantly on the stilts, we became veryexpert; and although I could not dance a gavotte--for I did not knowwhat that was--I could hop about with them with the greatest ease.

  "One day's more practice," said O'Brien, "for our provisions will lastone day more, and then we start; but this time we must rehearse incostume."

  O'Brien then dressed me in the poor girl's clothes, and himself in theman's; they fitted very well, and the last day we practised as man andwoman.

  "Peter, you make a very pretty girl," said O'Brien. "Now, don't youallow the men to take liberties."

  "Never fear," replied I. "But, O'Brien, as these petticoats are not verywarm, I mean to cut off my trowsers up to my knees, and wear themunderneath."

  "That's all right," said O'Brien, "for you may have a tumble, and thenthey may find out that you're not a lady."

  The next morning we made use of our stilts to cross the ditch, andcarrying them in our hands we boldly set off on the high road toMalines. We met several people, gens-d'armes and others, but with theexception of some remarks upon my good looks, we passed unnoticed.Towards the evening we arrived at the village where we had slept in theouthouse, and as soon as we entered it we put on our stilts, andcommenced a march. When the crowd had gathered we held out our caps, andreceiving nine or ten sous, we entered a cabaret. Many questions wereasked us, as to where we came from, and O'Brien answered, telling liesinnumerable. I played the modest girl, and O'Brien, who stated I was hissister, appeared very careful and jealous of any attention. We sleptwell, and the next morning continued our route to Malines. We very oftenput on our stilts for practice on the road, which detained us very much,and it was not until the eighth day, without any variety or anyinterruption, that we arrived at Malines. As we entered the barriers weput on our stilts, and marched boldly on. The guard at the gate stoppedus, not from suspicion, but to amuse themselves, and I was forced tosubmit to several kisses from their garlic lips, before we were allowedto enter the town. We again mounted on our stilts, for the guard hadforced us to dismount, or they could not have kissed me, every now andthen imitating a dance, until we arrived at the _Grande Place_, where westopped opposite the hotel, and commenced a sort of waltz which we hadpractised. The people in the hotel looked out of the window to see ourexhibition, and when we had finished I went up to the windows withO'Brien's cap to collect money. What was my surprise to perceive ColonelO'Brien looking full in my face, and staring very hard at me;--what wasmy greater astonishment at seeing Celeste, who immediately recognisedme, and ran back to the sofa in the room, putting her hands up to hereyes, and crying out "_C'est lui, c'est lui_!" Fortunately O'Brien wasclose to me, or I should have fallen, but he supported me. "Peter, askthe crowd for money, or you are lost." I did so, and collecting somepence, then asked him what I should do. "Go back to the window--you canthen judge of what will happen." I returned to the window; ColonelO'Brien had disappeared, but Celeste was there, as if waiting for me. Iheld out the cap to her, and she thrust her hand into it. The cap sankwith the weight. I took out a purse, which I kept closed in my hand, andput it into my bosom. Celeste then retired from the window, and when shehad gone to the back of the room kissed her hand to me, and went out atthe door. I remained stupefied for a moment, but O'Brien roused me, andwe quitted the _Grande Place_, taking up our quarters at a littlecabaret. On examining the purse, I found fifty Napoleons in it: thesemust have been, obtained from her father. I cried over them withdelight. O'Brien was also much affected at the kindness of the colonel."He's a real O'Brien, every inch of him," said he: "even this cursedcountry can't spoil the breed."

  At the cabaret where we stopped, we were informed, that the officer whowas at the hotel had been appointed to the command of the strong fort ofBergen-op-Zoom, and was proceeding thither.

  "We must not chance to meet him again, if possible," said O'Brien; "itwould be treading too close upon the heels of his duty. Neither will itdo to appear on stilts among the dikes; so, Peter, we'll just jump onclear of this town and then we'll trust to o
ur wits."

  We walked out of the town early in the morning, after O'Brien had madepurchases of some of the clothes usually worn by the peasantry. Whenwithin a few miles of St Nicholas, we threw away our stilts and theclothes which we had on, and dressed ourselves in those O'Brien hadpurchased. O'Brien had not forgotten to provide us with two largebrown-coloured blankets, which we strapped on to our shoulders, as thesoldiers do their coats.

  "But what are we to pass for now, O'Brien?"

  "Peter, I will settle that point before night. My wits are working, butI like to trust to chance for a stray idea or so; we must walk fast, orwe shall be smothered with the snow."

  It was bitter cold weather, and the snow had fallen heavily during thewhole day; but although nearly dusk, there was a bright moon ready forus. We walked very fast, and soon observed persons ahead of us. "Let usovertake them, we may obtain some information." As we came up with them,one of them (they were both lads of seventeen to eighteen) said toO'Brien, "I thought we were the last, but I was mistaken. How far is itnow to St Nicholas?"

  "How should I know?" replied O'Brien, "I am a stranger in these parts aswell as yourself."

  "From what part of France do you come?" demanded the other, his teethchattering with the cold, for he was badly clothed, and with littledefence from the inclement weather.

  "From Montpelier," replied O'Brien.

  "And I from Toulouse. A sad change, comrade, from olives and vines tosuch a climate as this. Curse the conscription: I intended to havetaken a little wife next year."

  O'Brien gave me a push, as if to say, "Here's something that will do,"and then continued,--

  "And curse the conscription I say too, for I had just married, and nowmy wife is left to be annoyed by the attention of the _fermier general_.But it can't be helped. _C'est pour la France et pour la gloire_."

  "We shall be too late to get a billet," replied the other, "and not asou have I in my pocket. I doubt if I get up with the main body tillthey are at Flushing. By our route, they are at Axel to-day."

  "If we arrive at St Nicholas, we shall do well," replied O'Brien; "but Ihave a little money left, and I'll not see a comrade want a supper or abed who is going to serve his country. You can repay me when we meet atFlushing."

  "That I will with thanks," replied the Frenchman; "and so will Jacqueshere, if you will trust him."

  "With pleasure," replied O'Brien, who then entered into a longconversation, by which he drew out from the Frenchmen that a party ofconscripts had been ordered to Flushing, and that they had droppedbehind the main body. O'Brien passed himself off as a conscriptbelonging to the party, and me as his brother, who had resolved to jointhe army as a drummer, rather than part with him. In about an hour wearrived at St Nicholas, and after some difficulty obtained entrance intoa cabaret. "_Vive la France_!" said O'Brien, going up to the fire, andthrowing the snow off his hat. In a short time we were seated to a goodsupper and very tolerable wine, the hostess sitting down by us, andlistening to the true narratives of the real conscripts, and the falseone of O'Brien. After supper the conscript who first addressed us pulledout his printed paper, with the route laid down, and observed that wewere two days behind the others. O'Brien read it over, and laid it onthe table, at the same time calling for more wine, having already pushedit round very freely. We did not drink much ourselves, but plied themhard, and at last the conscript commenced the whole history of hisintended marriage and his disappointment, tearing his hair, and cryingnow and then. "Never mind," interrupted O'Brien, every two or threeminutes, "_buvons un autre coup pour la gloire_!" and thus he continuedto make them both drink until they reeled away to bed, forgetting theirprinted paper, which O'Brien had some time before slipped away from thetable. We also retired to our room, when O'Brien observed to me. "Peter,this description is as much like me as I am to Old Nick; but that's ofno consequence, as nobody goes willingly as a conscript, and thereforethey will never have a doubt but that it is all right. We must be offearly to-morrow, while these good people are in bed, and steal a longmarch upon them. I consider that we are now safe as far as Flushing."