Read Peter Simple; and, The Three Cutters, Vol. 1-2 Page 45


  Chapter XXXIX

  Is a chapter of plots--Catholic casuistry in a new cassock--Plottingpromotes promotion--A peasant's love and a peer's peevishness--Prospectsof prosperity.

  As soon as I arrived at the hotel, I sent for a Plymouth paper, and cutout the paragraph which had been of such importance to me in myemergency, and the next morning returned home to receive thecongratulations of my family. I found a letter from O'Brien, which hadarrived the day before. It was as follows:--

  "MY DEAR PETER,--Some people, they say, are lucky to 'have a father born before them,' because they are helped on in the world--upon which principle, mine was born _after_ me, that's certain; however, that can't be helped. I found all my family well and hearty; but they all shook a cloth in the wind with respect to toggery. As for Father M'Grath's cassock, he didn't complain of it without reason. It was the ghost of a garment; but, however, with the blessing of God, my last quarterly bill, and the help of a tailor, we have had a regular refit, and the ancient family of the O'Briens of Ballyhinch are now rigged from stem to starn. My two sisters are both to be spliced to young squireens in the neighbourhood; it appears that they only wanted for a dacent town gown to go to the church in. They will be turned off next Friday, and I only wish, Peter, you were here to dance at the weddings. Never mind, I'll dance for you and for myself too. In the meantime, I'll just tell you what Father M'Grath and I have been doing, all about and consarning that thief of an uncle of yours.

  "It's very little or nothing at all that Father M'Grath did before I came back, seeing as how Father O'Toole had a new cassock, and Father M'Grath's was so shabby that he couldn't face him under such a disadvantage; but still Father M'Grath spied about him, and had several hints from here and from there, all of which, when I came to add them up, amounted to just nothing at all.

  "But since I came home, we have been busy. Father M'Grath went down to Ballycleuch, as bold as a lion in his new clothing, swearing that he'd lead Father O'Toole by the nose for slamming the door in his face, and so he would have done, if he could have found him; but as he wasn't to be found, Father M'Grath came back again just as wise, and quite as brave, as he went out.

  "So, Peter, I just took a walk that way myself, and, as I surrounded the old house where your uncle had taken up his quarters, who should I meet but the little girl, Ella Flanagan, who was in his service; and I said to myself, 'There's two ways of obtaining things in this world, one is for love, and the other is for money.' The O'Briens are better off in the first article than in the last, as most of their countrymen are, so I've been spending it very freely in your service, Peter.

  "'Sure,' says I, 'you are the little girl that my eyes were ever looking upon when last I was in this way.'

  "'And who are you?' says she.

  "'Lieutenant O'Brien, of his Majesty's service, just come home for a minute to look out for a wife,' says I; 'and it's one about your make, and shape, and discretion that would please my fancy.'

  "And then I praised her eyes, and her nose, and her forehead, and so downwards, until I came to the soles of her feet; and asked her leave to see her again, and when she would meet me in the wood and tell me her mind. At first, she thought (sure enough) that I couldn't be in earnest, but I swore by all the saints that she was the prettiest girl in the parts--and so she is altogether--and then she listened to my blarney. The devil a word did I say about your uncle, or your aunt, or Father M'Grath, that she might not suspect for I've an idea that they're all in the story. I only talked about my love for her pretty self, and that blinded her, as it will all women, 'cute as they may be.

  "And now, Peter, it's three weeks last Sunday, that I've been bespeaking this poor girl for your sake, and my conscience tells me that it's not right to make the poor crature fond of me, seeing as how that I don't care a fig for her in the way of a wife, and in any other way it would be the ruin of the poor thing. I have spoken to Father M'Grath on the subject, who says, 'that we may do evil that good may come, and that, if she has been a party to the deceit, it's nothing but proper that she should be punished in this world, and that will, perhaps, save her in the next;' still I don't like it, Peter, and it's only for you among the living that I'd do such a thing; for the poor creature now hangs upon me so fondly, and talks about the wedding-day; and tells me long stories about the connections which have taken place between the O'Flanagans and the O'Briens, times bygone, when they were all in their glory. Yesterday, as we sat in the wood, with her arm round my waist, 'Ella, dear,' says I, 'who are these people that you stay with?' And then she told me all she knew about their history, and how Mary Sullivan was a nurse to the baby.

  "'And what is the baby?' says I.

  "'A boy, sure,' says she.

  "'And Sullivan's baby?'

  "'That's a girl.'

  "'And is Mary Sullivan there now?'

  "'No' says she; 'it's yestreen she left with her husband and baby, to join the regiment that's going out to Ingy.'

  "'Yesterday she left?' says I, starting up.

  "'Yes,' replies she, 'and what do you care about them?'

  "'It's very much I care,' replied I, 'for a little bird has whispered a secret to me.'

  "'And what may that be?' says she.

  "'Only that the childer were changed, and you know it as well as I do.' But she swore that she knew nothing about it, and that she was not there when either of the children was born, and I believe that she told the truth. 'Well,' says I, 'who tended the lady?'

  "'My own mother,' says Ella. 'And if it was so, who can know but she?'

  "Then,' says I, 'Ella, jewel, I've made a vow that I'll never marry till I find out the truth of this matter; so the sooner you get it out of your mother the better.' Then she cried very much, and I was almost ready to cry too, to see how the poor thing was vexed at the idea of not being married. After a while, she swabbed up her cheeks, and kissing me, wished me good-by, swearing by all the saints that the truth should come out, somehow or another.

  "It's this morning that I saw her again, as agreed upon yesterday, and red her eyes were with weeping, poor thing; and she clung to me, and begged me to forgive her, and not to leave her; and then she told me that her mother was startled when she put the question to her, and chewed it, and cursed her when she insisted upon the truth; and how she had fallen on her knees, and begged her mother not to stand in the way of her happiness, as she would die if she did (I leave you to guess if my heart didn't smite me when she said that, Peter, but the mischief was done), and how her mother had talked about her oath and Father O'Toole, and said that she would speak to him.

  "Now, Peter, I'm sure that the childer have been changed, and that the nurse has been sent to the Indies to be out of the way. They say they were to go to Plymouth. The husband's name is, of course, O'Sullivan; so I'd recommend you to take a coach and see what you can do in that quarter; in the meantime I'll try all I can for the truth in this, and will write again as soon as I can find out anything more. All I want to do is to get Father M'Grath to go to the old devil of a mother, and I'll answer for it, he'll frighten her into swearing anything. God bless you, Peter, and give my love to all the family.

  "Yours ever,

  "TERENCE O'BRIEN."

  This letter of O'Brien was the subject of much meditation. The advice togo to Plymouth was too late, the troops having sailed some time; and Ihad no doubt but that Mary Sullivan and her husband were among those whohad embarked at the time that I was at that port to pass my examination.Show the letter to my father I would not, as it would only have put himin a fever, and his interference would, in all probability, have donemore harm than good. I therefore waited quietly for more intelligence,and resolved to apply to my grandfather to obtain my promotion.

  A few days afterwards I set off for Eagle Park, and arrived about eleveno'clock in the morning. I sent in my name, and was admitted into thelibrary, wher
e I found Lord Privilege in his easy chair as usual.

  "Well, child," said he, remaining on his chair, and not offering even_one_ finger to me, "what do you want, that you come here without aninvitation?"

  "Only, my lord, to inquire after your health, and to thank you for yourkindness to me in procuring me and Mr O'Brien the appointment to a finefrigate."

  "Yes," replied his lordship, "I recollect--I think I did so, at yourrequest, and I think I heard some one say that you have behaved well,and had been mentioned in the despatches."

  "Yes, my lord," replied I, "and I have since passed my examination forlieutenant."

  "Well, child, I'm glad to hear it. Remember me to your father andfamily." And his lordship cast his eyes down upon the book which he hadbeen reading.

  My father's observations appeared to be well grounded, but I would notleave the room until I had made some further attempt.

  "Has your lordship heard from my uncle?"

  "Yes," replied he, "I had a letter from him yesterday. The child isquite well. I expect them all here in a fortnight or three weeks, tolive with me altogether. I am old--getting very old, and I shall havemuch to arrange with your uncle before I die."

  "If I might request a favour of your lordship, it would be to beg thatyou would interest yourself a little in obtaining my promotion. A letterfrom your lordship to the First Lord--only a few lines--"

  "Well, child, I see no objection--only--I am very old, too old to writenow." And his lordship again commenced reading.

  I must do Lord Privilege the justice to state that he evidently was fastverging to a state of second childhood. He was much bowed down since Ihad last seen him, and appeared infirm in body as well as mind.

  I waited at least a quarter of an hour before his lordship looked up.

  "What, not gone yet, child? I thought you had gone home."

  "Your lordship was kind enough to say that you had no objection to writea few lines to the First Lord in my behalf. I trust your lordship willnot refuse me."

  "Well," replied he, peevishly, "so I did--but I am too old, too old towrite--I cannot see--I can hardly hold a pen."

  "Will your lordship allow me the honour of writing the letter for yourlordship's signature?"

  "Well, child--yes--I've no objection. Write as follows--no--writeanything you please--and I'll sign it. I wish your uncle William werecome."

  This was more than I did. I had a great mind to show him O'Brien'sletter, but I thought it would be cruel to raise doubts, and harass themind of a person so close to the brink of the grave. The truth wouldnever be ascertained during his life, I thought, and why, therefore,should I give him pain? At all events, although I had the letter in mypocket, I resolved not to make use of it except as a _dernier_ resort.

  I went to another table, and sat down to write the letter. As hislordship had said that I might write what I pleased, it occurred to methat I might assist O'Brien, and I felt sure that his lordship would nottake the trouble to read the letter. I therefore wrote as follows, whileLord Privilege continued to read his book:--

  "MY LORD,--You will confer a very great favour upon me, if you will hasten the commission which, I have no doubt, is in preparation for my nephew, Mr Simple, who has passed his examination, and has been mentioned in the public despatches, and also that you will not lose sight of Lieutenant O'Brien, who has so distinguished himself by his gallantry in the various cutting-out expeditions in the West Indies. Trusting that your lordship will not fail to comply with my earnest request, I have the honour to be, your lordship's very obedient humble servant."

  I brought this letter, with a pen full of ink, and the noise of myapproach induced his lordship to look up. He stared at first, as havingforgotten the whole circumstance--then said--"Oh yes! I recollect, so Idid--give me the pen." With a trembling hand he signed his name, andgave me back the letter without reading it, as I expected.

  "There, child, don't tease me any more. Good-bye; remember me to yourfather."

  I wished his lordship a good morning, and went away well satisfied withthe result of my expedition. On my arrival I showed the letter to myfather, who was much surprised at my success, and he assured me that mygrandfather's interest was so great with the administration, that Imight consider my promotion as certain. That no accident might happen, Iimmediately set off for London, and delivered the letter at the door ofthe First Lord with my own hands, leaving my address with the porter.