CHAPTER XLVI
Here stand I tight and trim, Quick of eye, though little of limb; He who denieth the word I have spoken, Betwixt him and me shall lances be broken. --LAY OF THE LITTLE JOHN DE SAINTRE.
When Charles had reconducted the Countess of Derby into thepresence-chamber, before he parted with her, he entreated her, in awhisper, to be governed by good counsel, and to regard her own safety;and then turned easily from her, as if to distribute his attentionsequally among the other guests.
These were a good deal circumscribed at the instant, by the arrival ofa party of five or six musicians; one of whom, a German, under thepatronage of the Duke of Buckingham, was particularly renowned for hisperformance on the violoncello, but had been detained in inactivity inthe antechamber by the non-arrival of his instrument, which had now atlength made its appearance.
The domestic who placed it before the owner, shrouded as it was withinits wooden case, seemed heartily glad to be rid of his load, andlingered for a moment, as if interested in discovering what sort ofinstrument was to be produced that could weigh so heavily. His curiositywas satisfied, and in a most extraordinary manner; for, while themusician was fumbling with the key, the case being for his greaterconvenience placed upright against the wall, the case and instrumentitself at once flew open, and out started the dwarf, GeoffreyHudson,--at sight of whose unearthly appearance, thus suddenlyintroduced, the ladies shrieked, and ran backwards; the gentlemenstarted, and the poor German, on seeing the portentous delivery of hisfiddle-case, tumbled on the floor in an agony, supposing, it might be,that his instrument was metamorphosed into the strange figure whichsupplied its place. So soon, however, as he recovered, he glided out ofthe apartment, and was followed by most of his companions.
"Hudson!" said the King--"My little old friend, I am not sorry to seeyou; though Buckingham, who I suppose is the purveyor of this jest, hathserved us up but a stale one."
"Will your Majesty honour me with one moment's attention?" said Hudson.
"Assuredly, my good friend," said the King. "Old acquaintances arespringing up in every quarter to-night; and our leisure can hardly bebetter employed than in listening to them.--It was an idle trick ofBuckingham," he added, in a whisper to Ormond, "to send the poor thinghither, especially as he was to-day tried for the affair of the plot.At any rate he comes not to ask protection from us, having had the rarefortune to come off _Plot-free_. He is but fishing, I suppose, for somelittle present or pension."
The little man, precise in Court etiquette, yet impatient of theKing's delaying to attend to him, stood in the midst of the floor, mostvalorously pawing and prancing, like a Scots pony assuming the airs ofa war-horse, waving meanwhile his little hat with the tarnished feather,and bowing from time to time, as if impatient to be heard.
"Speak on, then, my friend," said Charles; "if thou hast some poeticaladdress penned for thee, out with it, that thou mayst have time torepose these flourishing little limbs of thine."
"No poetical speech have I, most mighty Sovereign," answered the dwarf;"but, in plain and most loyal prose, I do accuse, before this company,the once noble Duke of Buckingham of high treason!"
"Well spoken, and manfully--Get on, man," said the King, who neverdoubted that this was the introduction to something burlesque or witty,not conceiving that the charge was made in solemn earnest.
A great laugh took place among such courtiers as heard, and among manywho did not hear, what was uttered by the dwarf; the former entertainedby the extravagant emphasis and gesticulation of the little champion,and the others laughing not the less loud that they laughed forexample's sake, and upon trust.
"What matter is there for all this mirth?" said he, veryindignantly--"Is it fit subject for laughing, that I, Geoffrey Hudson,Knight, do, before King and nobles, impeach George Villiers, Duke ofBuckingham, of high treason?"
"No subject of mirth, certainly," said Charles, composing his features;"but great matter of wonder.--Come, cease this mouthing, and prancing,and mummery.--If there be a jest, come out with it, man; and if not,even get thee to the beaffet, and drink a cup of wine to refresh theeafter thy close lodging."
"I tell you, my liege," said Hudson impatiently, yet in a whisper,intended only to be audible by the King, "that if you spend overmuchtime in trifling, you will be convinced by dire experience ofBuckingham's treason. I tell you,--I asseverate to your Majesty,--twohundred armed fanatics will be here within the hour, to surprise theguards."
"Stand back, ladies," said the King, "or you may hear more than you willcare to listen to. My Lord of Buckingham's jests are not always, youknow, quite fitted for female ears; besides, we want a few words inprivate with our little friend. You, my Lord of Ormond--you, Arlington"(and he named one or two others), "may remain with us."
The gay crowd bore back, and dispersed through the apartment--the men toconjecture what the end of this mummery, as they supposed it, waslikely to prove; and what jest, as Sedley said, the bass-fiddle had beenbrought to bed of--and the ladies to admire and criticise the antiquedress, and richly embroidered ruff and hood of the Countess of Derby, towhom the Queen was showing particular attention.
"And now, in the name of Heaven, and amongst friends," said the King tothe dwarf, "what means all this?"
"Treason, my lord the King!--Treason to his Majesty of England!--When Iwas chambered in yonder instrument, my lord, the High-Dutch fellows whobore me, carried me into a certain chapel, to see, as they said to eachother, that all was ready. Sire, I went where bass-fiddle never wentbefore, even into a conventicle of Fifth-Monarchists; and when theybrought me away, the preacher was concluding his sermon, and was withina 'Now to apply' of setting off like the bell-wether at the head of hisflock, to surprise your Majesty in your royal Court! I heard him throughthe sound-holes of my instrument, when the fellow set me down for amoment to profit by this precious doctrine."
"It would be singular," said Lord Arlington, "were there some realityat the bottom of this buffoonery; for we know these wild men have beenconsulting together to-day, and five conventicles have held a solemnfast."
"Nay," said the King, "if that be the case, they are certainlydetermined on some villainy."
"Might I advise," said the Duke of Ormond, "I would summon the Duke ofBuckingham to this presence. His connections with the fanatics are wellknown, though he affects to conceal them."
"You would not, my lord, do his Grace the injustice to treat him as acriminal on such a charge as this?" said the King. "However," he added,after a moment's consideration, "Buckingham is accessible to everysort of temptation, from the flightiness of his genius. I should not besurprised if he nourished hopes of an aspiring kind--I think we had someproof of it lately.--Hark ye, Chiffinch; go to him instantly, and bringhim here on any fair pretext thou canst devise. I would fain save himfrom what lawyers call an overt act. The Court would be dull as a deadhorse were Buckingham to miscarry."
"Will not your Majesty order the Horse Guards to turn out?" said youngSelby, who was present, and an officer.
"No, Selby," said the King, "I like not horse-play. But let them beprepared; and let the High Bailiff collect his civil officers, andcommand the Sheriffs to summon their worshipful attendants fromjavelin-men to hangmen, and have them in readiness, in case of anysudden tumult--double the sentinels on the doors of the palace--and seeno strangers get in."
"Or _out_," said the Duke of Ormond. "Where are the foreign fellows whobrought in the dwarf?"
They were sought for, but they were not to be found. They had retreated,leaving their instruments--a circumstance which seemed to bear hard onthe Duke of Buckingham, their patron.
Hasty preparations were made to provide resistance to any effort ofdespair which the supposed conspirators might be driven to; and in themeanwhile, the King, withdrawing with Arlington, Ormond, and a few othercounsellors, into the cabinet where the Countess of Derby had hadher audience, resumed the examination of the little dis
coverer. Hisdeclaration, though singular, was quite coherent; the strain of romanceintermingled with it, being in fact a part of his character, which oftengained him the fate of being laughed at, when he would otherwise havebeen pitied, or even esteemed.
He commenced with a flourish about his sufferings for the Plot, whichthe impatience of Ormond would have cut short, had not the King remindedhis Grace, that a top, when it is not flogged, must needs go down ofitself at the end of a definite time, while the application of the whipmay keep it up for hours.
Geoffrey Hudson was, therefore, allowed to exhaust himself on thesubject of his prison-house, which he informed the King was not withouta beam of light--an emanation of loveliness--a mortal angel--quickof step and beautiful of eye, who had more than once visited hisconfinement with words of cheering and comfort.
"By my faith," said the King, "they fare better in Newgate than I wasaware of. Who would have thought of the little gentleman being solacedwith female society in such a place?"
"I pray your Majesty," said the dwarf, after the manner of a solemnprotest, "to understand nothing amiss. My devotion to this fair creatureis rather like what we poor Catholics pay to the blessed saints, thanmixed with any grosser quality. Indeed, she seems rather a sylphid ofthe Rosicrucian system, than aught more carnal; being slighter, lighter,and less than the females of common life, who have something of thatcoarseness of make which is doubtless derived from the sinful andgigantic race of the antediluvians."
"Well, say on, man," quoth Charles. "Didst thou not discover this sylphto be a mere mortal wench after all?"
"Who?--I, my liege?--Oh, fie!"
"Nay, little gentleman, do not be so particularly scandalised," said theKing; "I promise you I suspect you of no audacity of gallantry."
"Time wears fast," said the Duke of Ormond impatiently, and looking athis watch. "Chiffinch hath been gone ten minutes, and ten minutes willbring him back."
"True," said Charles gravely. "Come to the point, Hudson; and tell uswhat this female has to do with your coming hither in this extraordinarymanner."
"Everything, my lord," said little Hudson. "I saw her twice during myconfinement in Newgate, and, in my thought, she is the very angel whoguards my life and welfare; for, after my acquittal, as I walked towardsthe city with two tall gentlemen, who had been in trouble along with me,and just while we stood to our defence against a rascally mob, and justas I had taken possession of an elevated situation, to have some vantageagainst the great odds of numbers, I heard a heavenly voice sound, asit were, from a window behind me, counselling me to take refuge in acertain house; to which measure I readily persuaded my gallant friendsthe Peverils, who have always shown themselves willing to be counselledby me."
"Showing therein their wisdom at once and modesty," said the King. "Butwhat chanced next? Be brief--be like thyself, man."
"For a time, sire," said the dwarf, "it seemed as if I were not theprincipal object of attention. First, the younger Peveril was withdrawnfrom us by a gentleman of venerable appearance, though somethingsmacking of a Puritan, having boots of neat's leather, and wearing hisweapon without a sword-knot. When Master Julian returned, he informedus, for the first time, that we were in the power of a body of armedfanatics who were, as the poet says, prompt for direful act. And yourMajesty will remark, that both father and son were in some measuredesperate, and disregardful from that moment of the assurances which Igave them, that the star which I was bound to worship, would, in her owntime, shine forth in signal of our safety. May it please your Majesty,in answer to my hilarious exhortations to confidence, the father didbut say _tush_, and the son _pshaw_, which showed how men's prudence andmanners are disturbed by affliction. Nevertheless, these two gentlemen,the Peverils, forming a strong opinion of the necessity there was tobreak forth, were it only to convey a knowledge of these dangerouspassages to your Majesty, commenced an assault on the door of theapartment, I also assisting with the strength which Heaven hath given,and some threescore years have left me. We could not, as it unhappilyproved, manage our attempt so silently, but that our guards overheardus, and, entering in numbers, separated us from each other, andcompelled my companions, at point of pike and poniard, to go to someother and more distant apartment, thus separating our fair society. Iwas again enclosed in the now solitary chamber, and I will own that Ifelt a certain depression of soul. But when bale is at highest, asthe poet singeth, boot is at nighest, for a door of hope was suddenlyopened----"
"In the name of God, my liege," said the Duke of Ormond, "let this poorcreature's story be translated into the language of common sense by someof the scribblers of romances about Court, and we may be able to makemeaning of it."
Geoffrey Hudson looked with a frowning countenance of reproof upon theimpatient old Irish nobleman, and said, with a very dignified air, "Thatone Duke upon a poor gentleman's hand was enough at a time, andthat, but for his present engagement and dependency with the Dukeof Buckingham, he would have endured no such terms from the Duke ofOrmond."
"Abate your valour, and diminish your choler, at our request, mostpuissant Sir Geoffrey Hudson," said the King; "and forgive the Duke ofOrmond for my sake; but at all events go on with your story."
Geoffrey Hudson laid his hand on his bosom, and bowed in proud anddignified submission to his Sovereign; then waved his forgivenessgracefully to Ormond, accompanied with a horrible grin, which hedesigned for a smile of gracious forgiveness and conciliation. "Underthe Duke's favour, then," he proceeded, "when I said a door of hope wasopened to me, I meant a door behind the tapestry, from whence issuedthat fair vision--yet not so fair as lustrously dark, like the beauty ofa continental night, where the cloudless azure sky shrouds us in aveil more lovely than that of day!--but I note your Majesty'simpatience;--enough. I followed my beautiful guide into an apartment,where there lay, strangely intermingled, warlike arms and musicalinstruments. Amongst these I saw my own late place of temporaryobscurity--a violoncello. To my astonishment, she turned around theinstrument, and opening it behind the pressure of a spring, showedthat it was filled with pistols, daggers, and ammunition made up inbandoleers. 'These,' she said, 'are this night destined to surprise theCourt of the unwary Charles'--your Majesty must pardon my using her ownwords; 'but if thou darest go in their stead, thou mayst be the saviourof king and kingdoms; if thou art afraid, keep secret, I will myself trythe adventure.' Now may Heaven forbid, that Geoffrey Hudson were cravenenough, said I, to let thee run such a risk! You know not--you cannotknow, what belongs to such ambuscades and concealments--I am accustomedto them--have lurked in the pocket of a giant, and have formed thecontents of a pasty. 'Get in then,' she said, 'and lose no time.'Nevertheless, while I prepared to obey, I will not deny that some coldapprehensions came over my hot valour, and I confessed to her, if itmight be so, I would rather find my way to the palace on my own feet.But she would not listen to me, saying hastily, 'I would be intercepted,or refused admittance, and that I must embrace the means she offered meof introduction into the presence, and when there, tell the King to beon his guard--little more is necessary; for once the scheme is known, itbecomes desperate.' Rashly and boldly, I bid adieu to the daylightwhich was then fading away. She withdrew the contents of theinstrument destined for my concealment, and having put them behind thechimney-board, introduced me in their room. As she clasped me in, Iimplored her to warn the men who were to be entrusted with me, to takeheed and keep the neck of the violoncello uppermost; but ere I hadcompleted my request, I found I was left alone, and in darkness,Presently, two or three fellows entered, whom, by their language, whichI in some sort understood, I perceived to be Germans, and under theinfluence of the Duke of Buckingham. I heard them receive from theleader a charge how they were to deport themselves, when they shouldassume the concealed arms--and--for I will do the Duke no wrong--Iunderstood their orders were precise, not only to spare the person ofthe King, but also those of the courtiers, and to protect all whomight be in the presence against an irruption of the fanatics. In otherrespects, they had ch
arge to disarm the Gentlemen-pensioners in theguard-room, and, in fine, to obtain the command of the Court."
The King looked disconcerted and thoughtful at this communication, andbade Lord Arlington see that Selby quietly made search into thecontents of the other cases which had been brought as containing musicalinstruments. He then signed to the dwarf to proceed in his story, askinghim again and again, and very solemnly, whether he was sure that heheard the Duke's name mentioned, as commanding or approving this action.
The dwarf answered in the affirmative.
"This," said the King, "is carrying the frolic somewhat far."
The dwarf proceeded to state, that he was carried after hismetamorphosis into the chapel, where he heard the preacher seeminglyabout the close of his harangue, the tenor of which he also mentioned.Words, he said, could not express the agony which he felt when he foundthat his bearer, in placing the instrument in a corner, was about toinvert its position, in which case, he said, human frailty might haveproved too great for love, for loyalty, for true obedience, nay, for thefear of death, which was like to ensue on discovery; and he concluded,that he greatly doubted he could not have stood on his head for manyminutes without screaming aloud.
"I could not have blamed you," said the King; "placed in such a posturein the royal oak, I must needs have roared myself.--Is this all you haveto tell us of this strange conspiracy?" Sir Geoffrey Hudson repliedin the affirmative, and the King presently subjoined--"Go, my littlefriend, your services shall not be forgotten. Since thou hast creptinto the bowels of a fiddle for our service, we are bound, in duty andconscience, to find you a more roomy dwelling in future."
"It was a violoncello, if your Majesty is pleased to remember," saidthe little jealous man, "not a common fiddle; though, for your Majesty'sservice, I would have crept even into a kit."
"Whatever of that nature could have been performed by any subject ofours, thou wouldst have enacted in our behalf--of that we hold ourselvescertain. Withdraw for a little; and hark ye, for the present, bewarewhat you say about this matter. Let your appearance be considered--doyou mark me--as a frolic of the Duke of Buckingham; and not a word ofconspiracy."
"Were it not better to put him under some restraint, sire?" said theDuke of Ormond, when Hudson had left the room.
"It is unnecessary," said the King. "I remember the little wretch ofold. Fortune, to make him the model of absurdity, has closed a mostlofty soul within that little miserable carcass. For wielding his swordand keeping his word, he is a perfect Don Quixote in decimo-octavo. Heshall be taken care of.--But, oddsfish, my lords, is not this freak ofBuckingham too villainous and ungrateful?"
"He had not had the means of being so, had your Majesty," said the Dukeof Ormond, "been less lenient on other occasions."
"My lord, my lord," said Charles hastily--"your lordship is Buckingham'sknown enemy--we will take other and more impartial counsel--Arlington,what think you of all this?"
"May it please your Majesty," said Arlington, "I think the thing isabsolutely impossible, unless the Duke has had some quarrel with yourMajesty, of which we know nothing. His Grace is very flighty, doubtless,but this seems actual insanity."
"Why, faith," said the King, "some words passed betwixt us thismorning--his Duchess it seems is dead--and to lose no time, his Gracehad cast his eyes about for means of repairing the loss, and had theassurance to ask our consent to woo my niece Lady Anne."
"Which your Majesty of course rejected?" said the statesman.
"And not without rebuking his assurance," added the King.
"In private, sire, or before any witnesses?" said the Duke of Ormond.
"Before no one," said the King,--"excepting, indeed, little Chiffinch;and he, you know, is no one."
"_Hinc illae lachrymae_," said Ormond. "I know his Grace well. While therebuke of his aspiring petulance was a matter betwixt your Majesty andhim, he might have let it pass by; but a check before a fellow from whomit was likely enough to travel through the Court, was a matter to berevenged."
Here Selby came hastily from the other room, to say, that his Grace ofBuckingham had just entered the presence-chamber.
The King rose. "Let a boat be in readiness, with a party of the yeomen,"said he. "It may be necessary to attach him of treason, and send him tothe Tower."
"Should not a Secretary of State's warrant be prepared?" said Ormond.
"No, my Lord Duke," said the King sharply. "I still hope that thenecessity may be avoided."