Noel’s band starts off with a fast song, and every person in the arena thrashes around. Pumping their fists and jumping around like crazy Mexican Jumping Beans.
“Oh my God, Lanie. He totally recognizes you!” Aubrey squeals in my ear while grabbing my arm.
“No he doesn’t.” I attempt to blow her words off. She has no clue how intense mine and Noel’s relationship was back then. She’s only heard stories.
“Hello? Are you kidding me? He even just said ‘high school’ when he looked at you. We have to put these passes to use and get back stage,” Aubrey shouts as she bounces in time with the beat—her long, auburn hair trailing down her back. Tonight for her, is all about fun and the possibility of meeting one of the hottest bands around, but for me…I’m not really sure what I expect from tonight. Noel’s always been the ‘what if’ for me. The one who got away.
Noel straps his guitar around his neck and then haphazardly slings it over his shoulder. He grabs the mic with both hands and brings it to his full lips. It reminds me of the way he used to kiss. He’d always put his entire soul into everything he did, which included the way he loved me.
“Look at me. I see you now. The way we used to be…” Noel sings in perfect rhythm.
The smoothness of his voice fills my ears, and it takes me back. I close my eyes and listen to his words and remember all the times we sat out on the old boat dock, overlooking the lake that separated our two childhood homes. That was our spot. The place we met in secret so many nights. The first place he sang to me. The first place we made love.
It was also the place where our love ended—where I told him to give up on his foolish dreams to become a rock star and do something sensible, like me, and go to college. I knew I broke his heart when I said I could never be with a dreamer because dreams don’t pay the bills.
Look at what I knew.
He totally made it, while I’m still struggling to land my perfect job in this tough economy with my ‘sensible’ degree. Life without him, these last four years, has been lonely.
A tear rolls down my cheek. How silly was I to listen to people, that Noel was a loser going nowhere just because he loved music. We could’ve been happy. We could’ve beaten the odds. But, I guess that’s something I’ll never know. Just another old chapter in my life I need to walk away from because it’s too late.
I open my eyes to take one last look at Noel. His eyes close as he belts out the chorus. Sweat beads illuminate his face under the spot light. He’s truly beautiful. But he’s a stranger now. Someone I used to know. It’s time to quit torturing myself and move on. I’ll just have to kiss the job at Center Stage goodbye.
“Aubrey, I need to get out of here. I can’t do this,” I shout to my friend.
Her pink lips twist. “Why? Because of him?” She points to Noel.
My eyes flit up to Noel’s face, and at that very second, he looks down at me while he strums his guitar. His eyes hold mine for a second before I glance back at Aubrey and nod. “I have to get out of here. This is like torture.”
Aubrey’s whole body slumps like a deflated balloon. “You know we can’t do that,” she sighs. “You have to suck it up and talk to him. You won’t get a job and I’ll lose mine. Diana doesn’t mess around.” She takes my hand and pulls me through the crowd. I glance back and watch a pile of girls shove their way into our spot.
The outdoor arena is so loud I can hardly hear my own thoughts. We make it to the back of the crowd just as the song ends. People are screaming Noel’s name while they’re waiting for the next song to begin. When it’s oddly silent, I think about taking one last look before I walk out on him again—one last look to remember him by.
“This next song goes out to the girl who shredded my heart without hesitation back in high school. It’s called Ball Busting Bitch, and Lanie, this one’s for you.”
My entire body freezes and I feel my mouth go dry. What a dick! The blood in my veins boil and my fingers shake as I resist the urge to storm the stage and punch him square in the face.
On second thought that sounds like a fantastic idea.
I lunge forward and Aubrey snags my arm. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I’m going to kick his ass,” I snarl.
Aubrey rolls her emerald eyes. “As much as I would love to see you do that, it’s impossible and you know it. The guy probably has ten hunky bodyguards to protect him from the likes of you. Besides we have to be civil to that cretin, remember?”
My shoulders slump in defeat. Oh, right. I have a job riding on getting Noel to like me. The last thing I want to do right now is talk to him, let alone be nice to him, but what choice do I have?
“You’re right. Let’s just get through tonight, get the info we need, then get our asses back to New York where we belong.”
Aubrey wraps her slender arm around my shoulders and gives me a little squeeze. “There’s the Lanie I love. Come on. Let’s weasel our way backstage and get to work.”
My fingers rub over my aching forehead. This is a bad idea, but I reluctantly tell her okay. She grabs me in a tight hug—her vanilla perfume super strong in my nose—and leads me toward the restricted area sign with our backstage passes tight in hand.
Chapter 3
Being backstage at a rock show isn’t as glamorous as one may think. It’s filled with dirty, sweaty men—most of which are overweight and look like they haven’t showered in six months. Plus, the way they leer at me is creepy, like I’m a dessert ready to be licked.
I shudder at the last thought and grip Aubrey’s hand tighter.
“Damn, Lanie, loosen up. You’re killin’ my hand,” she complains.
I drop her hand. “Sorry. Where the hell is the band? Their set has been over for at least fifteen minutes.”
We come to a hallway filled with music equipment and people loitering about. Something tells me we’ve come to the right spot to find a rock band. The sheer volume of scantily clad women milling about shocks me. Some of them are even walking around topless like it’s no big deal.
I smooth down my fitted leather halter and jean shorts, suddenly feeling like one of the only modestly dressed women around.
Do these girls have no self respect?
Aubrey runs a hand through her auburn curls. “How are we supposed to get any one on one time with him in this freak show? Harold is right, rock star accounts are definitely not the usual.”
“I don’t know, but we aren’t leaving until we talk to him.” I grab her wrist and tug her forward. “We’ll check every one of these rooms if we have to.”
Aubrey giggles uncontrollably as we rush from room to room throwing the red doors wide open in search of Noel Falcon. Somehow we’ve ended up turning this into a silly little game of shocking people as we slam open the doors. A majority of the rooms are either locked or empty, but I have the feeling if we keep this up much longer we are going to get thrown out of this place.
The last room we come to has music blasting on the other side of the red door. Aubrey twists the handle, throws open the door, and shouts, “Booyah!” at the top of her lungs, causing me to laugh so hard I double over.
“Oh, um, sorry,” Aubrey says while yanking on my arm.
I stand up straight, trying to curve my giggles, and stare right into the eyes of Noel Falcon. The smile drops completely off my face.
Two topless women press against him, one on each side, and his arms wrap around them. A slow, lazy grin spreads across his face, and I suddenly feel the urge to hurl.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old pal, Lanie,” Noel says. “Please, by all means, come in and join our little private party. I was going to take it easy tonight and settle for just these two, but you and your friend are more than welcome to join in. The more the merrier, right ladies?”
The blondes giggle and then run their hands up and down his chiseled chest while they lean in and kiss each other.
He continues smiling at me, loving that he’s paying me back ten fold right now
. I shake my head in disgust. “You’re a real piece of shit, you know that? Come on, Aubrey.”
Aubrey grabs my shoulders, holding me in place. “Lanie, we can’t. What about our jobs? We have to talk to him.”
I shake my head and glance at Noel. “Fuck the job. I’ll pass.”
I storm away from the door with Aubrey close on my heels. I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to Diana Swagger, but this is just too much. It’s way more than I bargained for. No sane person could speak to such a condescending, egotistical, prick of an ex-boyfriend, let alone work with him.
I’ll just have to find a new dream.
Aubrey keeps up with me as I blast past all the people in the busy hallway. I’m so angry with myself. I can’t believe I let myself think for a minute this would be easy or that I’m even capable of facing Noel.
The exit door flies open as I shove my way through. I gulp down the thick, Texas night air and push my hair back from my face. I’m not even sure how to find our rental car from this area of the parking lot, but I keep trudging forward. I need distance as much as I can from Noel Falcon.
“Damn, Lanie, would you wait up? These boots aren’t exactly made for running a marathon,” Aubrey complains behind me.
I sigh and stop in my tracks. “Aubrey, you just don’t—”
“What?” her tone snaps. “Don’t understand? If you tell me that one more time after I’ve listened to you pine after him for four freakin’ years, then I’m going to murder you here and now. Capiche? I know what he meant to you and how much tonight hurt you, but now you know there isn’t anything left for you there. You can move on. Forget about Noel Falcon and focus on your career. That douche is the only thing standing between you and your dream job, go back in there and face him. Get your answers.”
She’s right. I can’t let my emotions come get in the way of the biggest career opportunity I’ll ever have. “Alright. Jeesh. You don’t have to go and get all mafia on me. I’ll think about it.”
Aubrey tilts her head and pops her bottom lip out. “Please, Lanie. Please? I need you as my coworker.”
My fingers rub over my aching forehead. She’s not going to let this go, is she? Even though I know this is a bad idea, I reluctantly tell her okay. She squeaks and grabs me up into a tight hug.
She pulls back. “You’re doing the right thing.”
I frown. Second thoughts plague me, and my gut twists into a knot. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all.
When we return to the building, it seems even more crowded than before as we find ourselves weaving between people, like we’re in a packed night club. The red doors in the hallway remain shut, and I cringe when I think about what’s behind the last one.
Aubrey stops me. “Sure you don’t want to wait for him to come out? I can only imagine what’s going on in there now.”
I shake my head. “No. If I wait, I’ll lose my nerve. We are getting what we came for. Do me a favor, though?”
“Anything.”
“When I toss the two hookerbots out, keep them out. I can’t fight both of them and get info from Noel at the same time.”
I turn and shove open the door and storm through. “Alright everyone get the—”
Noel glances up from his guitar and glares at me. “Can I help you?”
I shut the door, closing the two of us alone in the small room. “Where’d your sluts go?”
Noel’s eyes narrow. “Why? You jealous or…maybe, they’re more your type now.”
“Fuck you.” It slips out before I remember I need to stay calm here.
He laughs and then strums his guitar. “No thanks. For some reason, I’m not in the mood anymore.”
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. “Look, Noel. I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
Noel raises a pierced eyebrow. “Really? Tell me then, Lane, why did you come here?”
‘Lane.’ It’s been so long since I’ve heard that. Noel is the only person alive who shortens my name.
I shake the memories away. This isn’t a time to reminisce. It’s time to get down to business. “Well…” I clear my throat. “I’m an intern at Center Stage Marketing, and my boss, Diana Swagger, flew me down here to discuss Black Falcon’s charity with you.”
“You?” He shakes his head. “Out of all the people in the entire fucking world, they send you down here to talk to me. Did they think because we’ve fucked before I wouldn’t fire you?”
My hands ball into fists at my side. “How can you say that to me? I’m not one of your groupie whores, Noel. What we had was real!”
He lays his guitar down and stands in front of me—his six foot two frame towers over me. “Then why did you leave me, huh? Tell me that. If it was so real, why did you walk away from it?”
I can’t look at him. The reasons for me leaving him that night, on the dock, are unbelievably selfish. Noel reaches out and takes a strand of my brown hair between his fingers and twirls it just like he always did when we were a couple.
I slap his hand away. His touch is just too soon.
The corners of his lips turn down. He reaches back up and tucks the loose strand of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips linger on my cheek. “Why do you always fight against the inevitable? You’ve always made things so difficult.”
I take a step away from him, but he closes the gap between us even tighter—his chest against mine. “There is no inevitable with us, Noel.”
“Sure there is. Fate brought you here, didn’t it?” Noel cradles my face in both hands. I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let me go. A smile flirts along his lips. “You look exactly the same. Still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” He brings his lips toward mine. Warmth from his breath touches my face and all I can think about is kissing him. What it would feel like. Would it be just like old times? “How about a kiss? Don’t you remember how hot things were between us?”
My heart thunders with anticipation, and I bite my bottom lip. He runs his nose along my jaw line and I close my eyes and inhale his spicy sent. He smells delicious. Noel’s eyes search my face while his lips hover over mine. I can feel the heat of him against my face and my legs tremble.
He leans in closer but stops just short of my lips and whispers, “Now you know what it’s like to want something you can’t have.”
His hands drop away from my face. There’s no emotion on his face, but his eyes look pained and it crushes me to know I have this effect on him.
Noel steps back and runs his hand through his shaggy hair before stepping around me and walking out the door.
The breath, I didn’t even realize I’m holding, expels from my chest when the door closes. I feel like I should say something, maybe even apologize for what I did to him four years ago, but I can’t. The ground holds my feet steady as I hear the door open behind me. My heart falls around my ankles, and I think about how easy it’s going to be for him to stomp on it while it’s down. I know I don’t deserve any kindness from him, but the blatant smack in the face of emotion still hurts like hell. This is my payback from Noel—to hurt.
A small pair of hands rest on my shoulders. “Did you get your answers?”
I nod, but can’t bring myself to turn and face Aubrey. “Everything I needed to know.”
Chapter 4
This is the first time since the start of my internship a month ago, that I hate being at work. It’s going to be hard to admit I failed. Noel didn’t tell me jack crap about his charity. The only information I have about it, is that it’s some type of children’s charity.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. He knows what the job meant to me. He took this away from me on purpose, and it pisses me off.
Aubrey leads us into the conference room for our scheduled meeting with Diana and the rest of the executive staff at Center Stage. My stomach rolls as I take a seat and scoot closer to the table. I fold my hands on top of the notepad I brought with me and take a deep breath.
Ms. Swagger takes her seat, and looks
at me before slipping on her glasses. “Ms. Vance, would you care to fill us in on how your meeting with Mr. Falcon went?”
The finger nails of my left hand dig into the skin on the back of the opposite hand. Telling this woman I screwed up will be like nailing my own coffin shut, but what other choice do I have?
I readjust myself in the chair. “Actually, Ms. Swagger, I—”
She holds up a finger toward me, asking for me to pause, before she pushes a button on the intercom in front of her. “Jillian, dear, there isn’t any water in the conference room. Could you see that some is brought in immediately?”
“Right away, Ms. Swagger,” the secretary replies. I can tell by the response Diana always gets what she wants.
Without skipping a beat, Diana turns her attention back to me. “Ms. Vance, can I just say I’ve never received a phone call quite like the one I got from Mr. Falcon yesterday.”
My heart leaps into my throat. Oh God. Here comes the boot. I need to do every thing I can to keep my internship. “I can explain about that.”
Diana leans back in her chair. “Please do. It seems some of my account executives could learn a thing or two about reeling in a client.”
My brow furrows, and I glance over at Aubrey who just shrugs in response. “I’m sorry, but I’m a little confused. What exactly did Noel—er, Mr. Falcon say?”
“We had a lengthy conversation about the long term goals of the marketing campaign for his children’s literacy program, and Mr. Falcon is adamant that you take the lead on this project. He seems to think you are the only person on my team that understands him and his goals. Of course, I explained that you were only an intern and that I felt it best for someone with more experience head this up, but Mr. Falcon blatantly refused. He said he wants you, and you only, or he pulls the account from us.”
My eyes widen. “Are you offering me a job?”
Diana smiles and removes her glasses. “Yes, with the stipulation that you are successful with the Black Falcon project. If it fails, then I’ll have no choice but to let you go.”