Staring out the window Saturday morning, I watched the rain while waiting for Gavin and Anali to pick me up from Hope House. It had been a very odd week. People who normally ignored me at school suddenly came up to me exclaiming over my hair. Telling me how great I look. I kept my hair done up in a tight braid, but my school didn't allow us to wear bandannas so I couldn't cover it completely. Gavin called every evening. I hadn't gotten a phone call from someone since my mentor left for a job in another state two years ago. Gavin sounded so chipper over the phone, asking me about my day, school, friends and stuff like that. I tried my best, but small talk over the phone is not my thing.
Thankfully it was easy to get him to talk. Asking Gavin "How was your day?" could lead to a twenty minute play-by-play of what he'd done. I didn't mind listening to him talk. Gavin was as animated over the phone as in person. Most people like to talk about themselves. A few well-placed questions, and I change from socially challenged to their favorite person to talk to.
"Listening is a great skill. A good listener is the best of friends, the most trusted, and said to be a great conversationalist. Asking questions and then listening to the person's answer will tell you a lot about them. Don't think of your own story to share, or what you need to do later, just listen. Your father was a very private person, frequently forced to socialize at large parties. He hated it; however, everyone loved to stop and chat with him because he would calmly ask questions and then listen. Everyone was so busy talking about themselves they never realized he'd never said anything about himself."
Planning our first visit took all week. Gavin started Tuesday, ending the phone call by asking me what I wanted to do Saturday. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I didn't plan outings, I went along with them. I tried to find out what he would like to do, if he was willing to spend money, or if the outing needed to be free. I even casually suggested a few things. Unfortunately, Gavin could tell. By Friday night he seemed rather tense.
Anali saved the day. She suggested that we would all take turns planning a Saturday and she got to go first. Gavin sputtered at her smug proclamation, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I bet Anali would play peacemaker between us for a long time.