I thought my mom would freak out about Tuffin having a bat. I thought there’d be scolding and punishments and demands to get rid of the bat. Instead she said,
My dad was also highly pleased. He said we could keep the bat for a few days before we let it go. But he added,
I don’t know what my dad thought bats were capable of, but personally I felt like he was promising more than the bat was capable of delivering. Libby acted just like I thought she would.
My dad got our old terrarium down from the attic and cleaned it out. He put a little stick and a dish of water in it. Then he carefully emptied the container with the bat inside and closed the top. Looking through the glass, I saw that the poor creature had its wings wrapped around its head and was balled up in the corner. None of us were able to get a good look at him. I needed everyone to go to bed so I could sneak out and take Jim away.
I should have known my dad would say that. If our water heater wasn’t working, my dad slept next to it to hear what sounds it was making. If Puck was acting sick, he would curl up next to him and evaluate his breathing all night long, and if the car wasn’t working, he would sleep in the back seat and listen for weird noises. It never really fixed anything, but my dad claimed it helped clear his head and give him a better understanding of the problem. Now the new bat was here, and he and Tuffin were going to make their beds next to it. My father and brother quickly changed and got sleeping bags.
I left my father and the terrarium for a moment and went to check on Pinocula. I had hidden him under my bed when I got home from the book club, and I was hoping he had stayed put for once. I should have been tired but I wasn’t. I was feeling stronger now. I moved quickly to my room and shut my bedroom door. Pinocula looked at me and smiled weakly. I pulled him out and studied him a bit closer. He was barely moving.
His nose grew at least three inches. He looked paler and woodier than ever. I was more than just a little worried.
Pinocula wanted to be back at the Awful House. He liked how unfinished and run-down it was. I suggested he stay with me, but he really wanted to rest there. He seemed so pitiful that I couldn’t resist helping him. I carried Pinocula out the window and over to the Awful House. He perked up a little when I laid him back down in his cardboard box that he had filled with dirt.
I was glad Pinocula thought something felt right, because something felt wrong with me. I was beginning to feel more and more like someone else. I liked the dark and I didn’t feel like sleeping. That bat bite had done me wrong.
Pinocula closed his eyes and began to talk. As he talked his nose grew smaller, letting me know he was telling the truth. He told me that the night usually made him stronger, but tonight he felt weaker than ever. He believed that as the puppet part of him smothered the vampire part, he would perish and move from un-dead to just dead. He also instructed me that when that happened he needed to be buried under at least a foot of soil as soon as possible. He also believed that when he passed on I’d return to my normal self. I couldn’t let him die. The little guy had grown on me.
Pinocula closed his eyes and rested. It was unsettling seeing him sleep in the dark. He was usually so alive and obnoxious at night. As much as I wanted to stay near him, I knew I needed to get back home to keep an eye on Jim. I didn’t want Tuffin or my dad to accidentally harm him in any way. I picked up the Dracula book and left Pinocula to rest. When I got home I sat on a chair near Jim and my sleeping father and brother and read for the rest of the night. I never got tired, but I did get creeped out by the story. It was scarier than my dad’s snoring.
When I finished the book it was 6:30 in the morning. It was also now the day of the dance. I really loved the book, but I felt pretty certain that I never wanted to be a vampire. The ending was cool, but it didn’t exactly turn out great for Count Dracula.
As I thought about it, though, I wasn’t sure what was worse—death or the dance tonight. I had no limo, there wouldn’t be a secret news crew, and I was about to let down a ton of people I liked.
I got up from the chair and found a phone book. I had forty dollars saved in my piggy bank. I figured if I found a cheap limo to rent maybe I could fix one of my lies.
There were a few options to call, but none of the limo places were open this early. I tore the page out of the phone book and put it in my wallet. I quickly took a shower and got ready for school. When I was dressed, I headed to the kitchen to get something to eat and check on Jim. I was surprised to find my mom sitting alone by the terrarium staring at him. She was in her robe and squinting, trying to get a good look.
My mom tilted her head and attempted to look at the head and body of Jim. She shifted the terrarium and gazed at the bat from another angle. I tried to make myself breakfast without looking suspicious. I poured a big bowl of my favorite cereal and sat down at the table.
My mom was tapping the glass and talking to Jim. I started to wonder if Jim had the ability to speak. It wasn’t normal for bats to say things, but it also wasn’t normal for creatures to come out of people’s closets. I’d be in a ton more trouble if Jim suddenly started talking. I needed to get my mom’s mind off the bat fast. I brought up the one subject I thought might interest her.
I don’t know how normal kids tell their parents things, but apparently I do it the wrong way. I’m not sure why she needed to know that I was going to the dance any sooner than now. I figured a ten-hour notice was enough. My mom stood up and started rubbing her forehead.
Apparently, my family doesn’t keep extra tuxes on hand. My mom looked torn—one half of her looked like it wanted to be mad at me while the other half looked like it was thrilled to know I was going to a dance.
My mom rubbed her forehead some more. She was upset, but she promised she’d find something for me to wear after she took Jim to Tuffin’s school for show-and-tell.
I couldn’t let Jim go to Tuffin’s school. My dad came into the kitchen dressed and set for the day. He told my mom he’d take over bat duty so she would be able to get ready.
There was a problem, but my dad just wasn’t aware of it. The problem was that if anyone at Tuffin’s school noticed that Jim was more than just a bat, there might be real trouble. I had to fix this. My mom left to get ready for the day, leaving me alone with my father. Lying had become so easy for me lately that I went with it again.
I got an old blanket, and we draped it over the terrarium. I told my dad we needed to tape the blanket so that it wouldn’t come off. He headed to the garage to get some duct tape. The second he was gone I grabbed the pink sandwich container that Jim had originally been in. With one swift movement I pulled the blanket off, lifted the top of the terrarium, scooped up Jim into the container, and put on the lid. I looked around for something to put into the terrarium to take Jim’s place. I saw the perfect object. I grabbed it and tossed it in. I put the top on and draped the blanket over the whole thing. I set the pink container with Jim in it on the counter.
I turned around just as my dad walked in. He didn’t see a thing. Together we wrapped duct tape around the terrarium.
Tuffin came into the kitchen and wanted to see Jim, but I told him that bats can die from being peeked at. I grabbed the pink container and ran to my room. I shoved it into my backpack and left. When I got to the Awful House, Pinocula was still in his box resting peacefully. He opened his eyes, but he looked less un-dead than ever. When I asked him if he could move he said,
Pinocula might have lacked the strength to walk, but he was still a really strong liar. I picked him up and he just hung there limply in my arms.
Pinocula tried to swing his arm up in an attempt to nibble on it, but he was too weak. I picked up a stick lying on the ground and held it close to his mouth for him. I thought about the books Dracula and Pinocchio. Both books had been good, but I couldn’t see how either one could help me now. I remembered Jim. I ripped off my backpack and pulled out the pink container. When I opened it I gasped.
I didn’t have Jim. I had Libby’s lunch! She had packe
d hers in a pink container that looked just like the one I used. I put Pinocula into my backpack and tore out of the Awful House and back to mine. When I got into the kitchen there was nobody there. There was also nothing on the counter. I looked around. The terrarium was gone. I checked Libby’s room and she wasn’t there. I looked out in the garage and the cars were missing. I had been away only a few minutes, but in that time my whole family had left. This was not a good morning. Pinocula was getting weaker, Jim was missing, and my gut hurt from all the lies I was trying to remember. I wanted to remove my stomach, heart, and all my insides that were currently bringing me down.
Unfortunately, my insides were still right where they should be, which meant I felt as bad as I should.
CHAPTER 10
LIMO AND LIES
I barely made it to my school bus on time. It was an uncomfortable ride—Pinocula felt bulky in my backpack, and everyone was talking about the dance tonight and what they were going to wear. Janae sat across from me in the aisle and asked me if I was going to wear my sunglasses forever. I nodded. The light still hurt my eyes. She wanted to know what time I’d be picking her up for the dance. It was now or never. If I told her the truth, she would probably just not like me, which wouldn’t be that unusual. I looked Janae in her blue eyes, cleared my throat, and said,
Janae turned to talk and plan with her friends. Everyone kept patting me on the shoulder and thanking me for bringing the news crew to our school. They also kept telling me how lucky I was to be going to the dance in a limo. I didn’t feel lucky, and when I got to school, I was so out of sorts I felt like I had been put together wrong.
I stashed Pinocula in my locker and tried to just get through the day. The world seemed topsy-turvy. I was sick of what I had become. It seemed as if I were turning into Aaron. Aaron had always struggled with telling the truth. Almost everything he said was a lie.
Now I was worse than he was. Usually the school day dragged on, but today time flew. Every minute that slipped away I knew I was getting closer to the dance and closer to being busted. I checked on Pinocula between classes. He would just blink at me and make up some sort of lie.
After school, I went straight to the Awful House with Jack and Pinocula. The plan was to leave Pinocula there tonight. Jack didn’t want anything to do with a secret news crew, and he didn’t care for dances. According to him,
So I figured I’d let Jack keep an eye on Pinocula while I was gone. He was more than willing to do it. To him the thought of hanging out in an abandoned house and babysitting a vampire puppet was much less lame than dancing. After I got Pinocula and Jack situated, I headed home. The dance started in less than two hours, and I still hadn’t come up with a lie to get out of all my other lies.
When I got to my house, my mom was waiting for me at the door. I could tell by the way she was standing that I was in trouble.
My mom told me anyway. According to her, she had placed the terrarium on a table in front of Tuffin’s class. She told all the kids there was a bat inside, but when she took off the blanket, there was no bat.
I tried to convince my mom that it must have been a fruit bat. She wouldn’t buy it. She also had more to tell me. She got a call from Libby while Libby was at school today.
My mom didn’t appreciate my sarcasm. I guess Libby was eating lunch, and when she opened her sandwich container, a bat flew out.
Not only wasn’t it captured on film, but Jim had gotten away. As my mom scolded me, a thought popped into my head. If I got in big enough trouble, she might make me stay home from the dance.
I didn’t want my mom to think about this, but she kept thinking, and what she thought was that I had done the right thing by telling her the truth. She appreciated the honesty and then told me,
She wouldn’t hear of it. My mom had already picked up something for me to wear, and she had cleaned out the station wagon so it wouldn’t be a mess when she drove me and all my friends. As I was telling her that I no longer had any friends, the doorbell rang. My mom opened the door and my no-friend lie was ruined.
I sighed and realized that I wasn’t going to get out of it that easy. My friends all followed me back to my room. It was funny to see them dressed up. I had never seen Rourk in nice pants. The ones he had on were way too small and gave him a massive wedgie. He kept trying to fix it by wiggling.
All my friends were fidgeting and trying to act brave about going to the dance. They kept asking me questions that I didn’t know the answer to.
I wouldn’t have smelled Rourk’s breath if it was the last puff of air in the world. Besides, the way my stomach was turning, I felt pretty certain my breath was worse.
I changed into the clothes my mom got for me, but I couldn’t tie my tie quite right.
I told my friends to wait in the living room, and I ran to use the phone we had in the kitchen. I needed to have a private conversation. I pulled out the phone book page from my wallet and called one of the limo places.
The limousine companies kept hanging up on me. The tenth one I called laughed at me and explained that limos were usually booked days in advance and cost hundreds of dollars. After he gave me the information, he hung up on me, too.
I was out of options. There was only one thing to do. I had to tell the truth—I hated all the lying. I wasn’t like Pinocchio—I couldn’t deal with the turmoil in my gut. I squared my shoulders and walked out to confess everything. As I stepped into the living room, however, I saw that everybody was excitedly staring out the window at something. I looked for myself. There, shimmering under the light of the setting sun, was a limousine.
My friends all started yelping and dancing. I didn’t understand what was going on. There had obviously been a mistake and someone else’s limo had come to the wrong address. I mean, you don’t just lie about something and it comes true. We all ran out to get a better look. As I stepped up to the limo, the driver’s door opened and my dad got out.
What was happening? My dad came around the car and opened the door. All my friends quickly climbed in, laughing and shoving each other. I just stood there dumbfounded. My dad saw my confused face and leaned down to whisper to me.
My dad slipped something into my hand without showing it to me. I got into the limo and tried to smile. I looked at what he had slipped me.
I didn’t know if I was more bothered by Principal Smelt giving me acne eye cream or by the fact that it had already been used.
My dad closed the car door as I slipped the tube into my pocket. Inside the limo there was plenty of room for all of us and any friends Janae was bringing. I looked out the window and saw my dad putting a big magnetic sign on the side of the limo and a flag on the roof.
I guess he was using the limo to help advertise his playground company.
My dad got into the front seat, and we pulled out of the driveway. He drove about ten feet and stopped in front of Janae’s house. I got out and walked up the sidewalk. I honestly hadn’t thought I’d make it this far. It was just now sinking in that I was really going to the dance with Janae. I rang the doorbell.
Janae looked nice, her hair was fancy, and she was smiling like she was pleased to see me. Her friends were already there. My mom had walked over from our house, and she and Janae’s mom took just under a million pictures. We then got into the limo and drove to the dance while Tuffin waved good-bye.
It was fun in the limo, but it also reminded me in an uncomfortable way of the wagon full of kids in the book Pinocchio as they traveled to Toyland, right before they were all turned into donkeys.
I was going to my very first dance with Janae. I don’t think I could have been any happier, more scared, confused, worried, or curious about how it would all turn out.
CHAPTER 11
ALWAYS LET YOUR CONSCIENCE BE YOUR GUIDE
At first, everyone tried to act all reserved and proper in the limo, but then Aaron opened the moon roof and began yelling stupid things out the top.
Teddy wondered if the secret news crew had put hidde
n cameras in the car, so he kept flexing his muscles and smiling at nothing. There was a radio in the back and I turned it on. We all sang and talked loudly. It was so much fun that I was almost able to stop thinking about all the lies I had told. I also put Jim out of my mind and tried not to worry about Jack looking after Pinocula, even though I knew Jack probably was an awful babysitter.
The parking lot of Softrock Middle School was filled with cars. Word had spread about the news crew and their hidden cameras. When our limo pulled in, people stared and pointed like we were stars arriving at a show. I had never seen Janae and her friends so happy. My friends were happy too, but they expressed it differently.