I had just finished dusting the books when Brynn came into the library. “It turns out that you’re finished for the night which means for the next ten hours, you belong to me.” She was grinning so big she reminded me of the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. “Well? Come on.” She turned and left the library.
If this experience was meant to humble me it wasn’t working. I had already been “serving” Brynn for an hour and it was only making me angry. So far my tasks had included giving her a pedicure and doing her laundry. During that time she pointed out every single gift that Nicholas had ever given her.
Everyone I noticed was dressing up. Brynn had me doing her hair to match a picture she’d cut out from a Gaje magazine. I was informed that there was a celebration tonight in my honor. Brynn informed me that while she was going to allow me to attend I would not be allowed to participate.
At this point, that was fine with me. I began to plot on how I was going to get that black book that I just knew the slave driver had hidden from me. I was sure that it held the secrets I needed. During the celebration, Nicholas’ house would be empty and that would be the perfect time for me to search for the book.
“Hello?”
I looked startled at Brynn. “What?”
“I said I want you to put this on. It’s something of mine and I think it will help us bond.” She literally threw the outfit at me from where she stood at her closet. “Ta-ta-ta-today.” Brynn rolled her eyes and then left her room.
The outfit she had chosen confused me completely. It was one of those bib halter tops and this one was a half bib. It was barely long enough to cover my chest and that was only if I tied it at the very longest I could manage. The second tie was almost invisible. Maybe it was just a loose thread on both sides but I used it. It would be the only chance I had of the bib not moving and showing all my goods.
The long skirt was the same color as flesh, with diamond sparkles and slits up the sides that reached the waistband. I wasn’t about to go without underwear so I had to wear the skirt low enough that the waistband covered the sides of them. In the mirror, I found a seductress looking back at me and a shiver of disgust ran through me. When she came back in she was wearing a violet version of the same outfit I had on.
We were late. Seraph was already talking about Isabeau and I and our act of heroism. “You’re supposed to go up there and stand by Isabeau,” Brynn told me. I pretended not to hear her and we both knew it. I could not, however ignore Seraph when she instructed me from the front to join her there. Everyone was looking at me, so I couldn’t cry like I wanted to. I joined her at the front and tried to pretend that I was perfectly comfortable.
Seraph did not look pleased with my outfit and somehow that made it easier to be in it. She was the one to make me serve Brynn. If she didn’t like the outfit at least she was punished too, even if it was a tiny smidge of punishment.
Why should I be the only one to suffer?
If Nicholas was disgusted I would most definitely cry. The fact that I could feel his gaze everywhere as it traveled over me was most definitely having an effect on my body temperature. It was a heated caress that somehow made me deaf to what Seraph or anyone else was saying. This had to be a skill of the gypsies, probably part of the alluring class I was forbidden to take.
I found his gaze with the intent to confront him and make him know that I knew what he was doing was intentional. He stole my breath away with the look in his eyes. The passion mixed with lust and most present in his gaze, fury, was earth shaking. My body filled with the heat of his stare, and the temperature was increasing in my core.
“Thank you, Kellan.” I heard Seraph say and I tore my gaze away from his and looked at Seraph. She had since moved onto Isabeau and everyone was clapping. We were dismissed and the celebration began.
Brynn was waiting for me.
“I’d like to remind you that you are not allowed to participate. Your job is to stand on that wall and watch me. I think it will help us get to know each other if you see how much Toryn and Nicholas want me.” The laugh I gave as an answer made her nostrils flare, and I grinned. “Go stand over there against that wall.” She pointed to the wall.
As soon as I separated from Brynn, I found myself surrounded by young men who I had yet to meet. Some I recognized. Brynn’s brothers were among them and some I’d seen in the village. “Excuse me.” I had to make my own path because no one cared to move out of my way.
I made it to the wall and only then did I notice that Toryn and Nicholas did not follow as the others did. Nicholas was dancing with another girl and Toryn was talking to Brynn. Where everyone else couldn’t stop looking at me, they were acting as if I repelled them. Anger rose up in me and extinguished any embarrassment I’d allowed before.
“May I have the pleasure of a dance, Kellan?” I recognized the young man from the wolf pack and he like Toryn and Nicholas was very muscular and handsome.
I smiled politely. “I would but I am serving Brynn and she has forbidden me to participate.” More young men joined our group and the first guy let them know I couldn’t participate in the party. Somehow this news did not send them on their way. They showered me with compliments ranging from my looks to the sound of my voice. How was I supposed to sneak out of here with all this attention?
Nicholas was dancing with the same girl when I chanced finding him after several songs had been played. He was giving her a lot of attention, and I wished the girl would slap him for me. I caught Toryn looking at me and where Nicholas had been angry Toryn looked upset. Brynn wasn’t looking at me, but was watching Nicholas and was obviously pleased.
I realized at last the reason she had dressed me that way. She wanted Nicholas to continue to look at me as though I wanted Toryn, or the attention of the men around me. Brynn wanted me to be on her level in his eyes. It occurred to me that I could push through this crowd and go to Nicholas and explain that I had not selected this outfit on my own, but I didn’t.
He had chosen to try to make me jealous by dancing with this other young woman and dang him it was working. Well, two could play at that game. Would I accomplish Brynn’s plan by playing this game? Probably. That didn’t stop me.
The first guy was still talking to me though I hadn’t been listening. I smiled at him and he lit up with happiness. This was probably not a good idea. He kept talking and once I started paying attention he was explaining to me that I was not in fact promised to Nicholas in particular, but rather to the person who occupied the alpha status of the wolf pack. He was offering to challenge Nicholas.
“No, that’s not necessary,” I said, but he didn’t seem to hear me. “Listen, I am interested in learning the secrets of defending against the Siths. I am not interested in finding a husband or potential one for that matter.”
They all started talking in gypsy again and I caught Nicholas staring angrily in my direction from the center of the dance floor where he stood motionless. Why had I not realized he could hear me? I gave my attention back to first guy again. “So even though I think you are really, really, really hot, I just can’t lead you on.”
“You think I’m hot?”
I was still grinning. “Oh yes.”
“But you want Nicholas?” I glanced at Nicholas when first guy asked me this question and found that he had been shoving his way toward us and was still coming though he slowed and concentrated on my face, waiting for my answer.
“That is something that I will only answer for Nicholas.”
“If your goal is to make him jealous any one of us here would gladly oblige you.” I laughed, surprised, and shook my head. Nicholas’ anger was gone from his face. The group scattered away from me once Nicholas reached me.
He didn’t say anything. His eyes were full of the same fire inspiring heat. Nicholas made no secret of his thoughts as that same heat ran across my skin. He began to unbutton the shirt he wore. My heart sped up in alarm not knowing what his intent was
going to be. I could not look away either. His shirt was coming off and my breathing felt short despite my efforts to keep a grip on my response to him.
“I don’t think Brynn fully understood what she was doing when she gave you this outfit to wear.” He swooped me off the wall and into his arms. “You make me want to make you mine now and not wait for your invitation to do so.” His hot breath was on my neck. “No one would stop me from doing so. I know you wouldn’t want me to stop.”
I couldn’t think. Everything was heat and lust and strong desire. I heard myself say, “Please,” and I’m not sure if it was a please yes or a please no. I felt the strain in him as he held himself back, and I was beginning to think he was going to lose the battle with himself.
“Do you know why I don’t?” His mouth found my neck and I clamped my mouth shut too afraid of what sound or plea would escape. “Because in this clan if you give yourself to your promised mate, you are as good as married.” He pulled back and guided my arms through the sleeves of the white shirt he’d shed. My heart was pounding and if I opened my mouth at this moment I would tell him I didn’t want him to stop. “I promised you when you got here the choice would be yours. Didn’t I?”
There was no way I was opening my mouth. My desire for him had escalated to need so I nodded instead. “If you take my shirt off, I will be removing the one beneath it.” He took my hand and Brynn chose that moment to pop up.
“She can’t leave. She’s serving me.”
“That’s only in her free time. She’s not free.” He led me through the crowd and I waved smiling at Brynn, who watched us leave with a face as red as a correcting pencil. Isabeau waved at me too with a smile as big as mine. We were walking out in the cold night air for a few minutes before I could begin to see past the desire that burned for Nicholas. He, however required a swim in the freezing cold water of the waterfall swimming hole.
I sat on the shore as he dove into the black water and disappeared completely beneath its surface. The desire was clearing. I understood what he had been trying to tell me. He had already promised me that I would have my choice and so there was no need for me to choose the punishment I chose.
No wonder he thought I did it to be with Toryn.
I knew he had promised me. Why hadn’t I thought his word was enough?
I don’t know who I thought it would be when I heard someone coming, but the last person I expected to see was Seraph. “Hello, Kellan.”
I felt like I’d been caught doing something wrong. No doubt she had seen what had happened back there. “Hello.”
She looked toward the water where Nicholas was. “I just wanted to make sure that you understand that if you make love with Nicholas you will be married to him.”
“Okay.”
“There is no divorce in this clan.” That was a bigger dose of reality and it cured me of my temporary desire. “Nicholas, I trust you to uphold her honor.” He was coming out of the water and he nodded.
“Kellan?” I looked back at Seraph. “Your suspension from being allowed to learn our culture is lifted in the area of wind whispering alone.”
“Thank you.”
Why wind whispering?
She turned back to answer, “Because, I believe you deserve the privacy of your thoughts and desires.” She was glaring at Nicholas when she said this. I wanted to jump into the water and drown myself. The entire clan had heard my desires for Nicholas? Nicholas heard them? I climbed up onto my feet and Nicholas caught my arm.
“Don’t be mad.”
“Don’t be mad? You tricked me into telling everyone including you that I want you? That I….” I swallowed thinking how I had wanted him to follow through with taking me right there. “You made me a show for everyone.”
“No, I didn’t.” I tried to jerk my arm away but he didn’t release me. “I wanted to know that you wanted me and not Toryn. I deserved to know after what you did, making yourself and Toryn free to choose. I wanted to know for me.” I tried to pull free. “If you’ll stop thinking of yourself and remember back you’ll know that all I was thinking about in those moments was you, and how much I wanted you. I stopped because I love you. If I didn’t I would make you mine without your permission. I’d have you, wouldn’t I?”
“You humiliated me.”
“It is not humiliation to want the man you are promised to. At least it shouldn’t be.” He released me and I turned to get away from him. “Where are you going?” I kept walking. “If you are leaving my service you must return to Brynn.” I stopped then and walked back over to him. “Knowing you want me back only makes me want you more.”
“Good for you.” I tried to remember which one of those people was supposed to help me with the wind whispering curse.
“So, let me think… how are you going to serve me?”
I said, “Keep digging your own grave, Nicholas.” I folded my arms.
“Do you want me to go and tell everyone how much I want you?”
“No, I think our parents have probably heard enough, thanks.”